Chapter XI
Lexa wakes up to the sound of rain drumming insistently against Clarke's bedroom window. The street lamp casting shadows on the wall tells her it's yet too early to wake up. She yawns rubbing her eyes with her free hand as the other is entangled in Clarke's golden hair, not even the artificial light from the street lamp could make Clarke's hair glow any less.
With every breath that fills her lungs, her chest rises slowly and lifts Clarke's head effortlessly. The sheets are barely covering their entangled legs and Lexa smiles as she follows the curve of Clarke's spine to the dimples on her lower back. Even in the dim light she can see the red scratch marks on Clarke's back and for a brief moment she allows herself to feel guilty for hurting her, even though Clarke wanted it, said she needed to feel a good kind of pain. Lexa had hesitated, but when Clarke did it to her too it wasn't brutal at all, just so very intense and so very intimate, and she finally understood what Clarke had meant. It hurt like hell, she can even feel them burn on her back right now, but it's the good kind. It's the kind that serves as a reminder of being alive and that they're both in this together, the good and the bad. The pain especially.
Lexa makes a mental note to remember to tell Clarke that she'd missed her too these past couple of weeks. That as much as she loves being a part of Niylah's program, she loves Clarke infinitely more. That missing Clarke the past couple of weeks has been an epiphany. That she doesn't ever want to wake up in a bed without Clarke again.
She didn't get a chance to tell her all of that yesterday, well, not with words at least.
She will soon though.
And she'll play Clarke's song for her too. Clarke doesn't know, but that was what she walked in on yesterday. Lexa had played the piece for Niylah to practice playing it for an audience. Playing it for Clarke is the most nerve-racking thing Lexa has ever had to prepare for. Writing Clarke a piece hasn't been easy either. Every single note and harmony and beat and pause has to be perfect and just right because Clarke deserves nothing less.
Lexa closes her eyes and let's the memory of Clarke's song wash over her. It's inevitable when she drifts off to sleep again, her hand still entangled in Clarke's hair.
*
Clarke wakes up to the sound of rain drumming insistently against her bedroom window. The dull grey morning light tells her it won't be long until Raven starts cooking eggs and bacon for everyone. She tries her best not to move from her position on top of Lexa. She likes Lexa's arms possessively encircling her and she lies there listening to the steady heartbeat in Lexa's chest, it's by far her favorite soundtrack.
Clarke yawns and moves a hand to wipe off the drool in the corner of her mouth. As she does so, she can feel the burning pull of the skin on her back and she becomes painfully aware of the scratch marks she asked Lexa to give her.
It has to hurt to get better.
Clarke never believed in that until yesterday.
Clarke makes a mental note to remember to tell Lexa that the music she heard was breathtakingly beautiful, that it made her see colors even with her eyes open. That she's happy she found a friend in Niylah and that she's so damn proud of her for wanting to help the kids. That she's awestruck because she's managed to turn her weakness into a strength and those are all kinds of admirable in Clarke's book. She needs to tell Lexa that missing her these past couple of weeks has been an epiphany. That she doesn't ever want to wake up in a bed without Lexa again.
She wasn't able to voice that yesterday.
She will soon though.
Clarke snuggles in closer, her nose buried in Lexa's neck. Lexa's morning smell is intoxicating, it always is, it's being safe at home and out exploring dangerous new things all at once. It's Lexa.
Waking up in Lexa's arms always have two outcomes, it's like a law of nature. One is snuggling up close and going back to sleep, the other is Clarke automatically pressing her lips against the soft skin of Lexa's neck because she's too awake to go back to sleep.
This morning, the second one applies. Clarke hums against Lexa's neck and Lexa still asleep pulls Clarke even closer. It is to any extend an inevitable result of the gravitational pull between them and Clarke doesn't want it any other way.
Clarke lies there with a content smile on her lips when Lexa starts stirring underneath her. Lexa yawns and Clarke kisses her jawline which morphs Lexa's yawn into a content smile as well.
Clarke repositions herself to be able to look into Lexa's eyes. "Mornin'," she croaks, "You okay?"
Lexa nods.
"I'm sorry about the scratch-"
Lexa interrupts her with a kiss and then she shakes her head, and Clarke has come to learn that this shake means 'stop apologizing'.
Clarke nods her head insistently as to argue the exact opposite and Lexa silences her with another kiss.
"Say it," Clarke murmurs against her lips, her eyes tethered to Lexa's soft gaze.
"Clarke," Lexa rasps with that half smile dancing on her lips making Clarke's heart beat faster.
"Damn you," Clarke sighs weakly before pressing her lips against Lexa's again.
*
Lexa is the first to join Anya and Raven in the kitchen, her sore muscles dictating her to sit down on the chair very slowly.
Anya raises a curious eyebrow at her but the exhausted look in her sister's eyes makes her back off. She needs a break after yesterday's emotional roller-coaster ride, she thinks.
Lexa grabs a strip of bacon and takes a bite. Clarke then joins them too and walks up behind Lexa to hug her from behind.
Lexa stiffens in Clarke's embrace, the close encounter makes the scratches on her back hurt.
"Oh, shit, sorry Lex. I forgot." Clarke kisses her shoulder and takes a seat next to her. Lexa offers her the other half of the bacon in her hand and Clarke accepts it gratefully.
"What happened?" Raven asks innocently.
"Oh, uh, nothing." Clarke responds, avoiding anyone's eyes, not even realizing the question was for Lexa.
Lexa blushes as Raven winks at her and Anya cups her ears saying, "No, please, shush, I don't want to know..."
"If you need any of the clothes we found in the hallway last night, it's in the dirty clothes bin," Raven says matter-of-factly, smirking into the awkward silence as Clarke busies herself stealing another strip of bacon.
"So, changing the subject... Clarke, how do you feel about taking a short roadtrip today?" Anya asks, sipping her coffee.
"By car?"
"Yes. I've got something I want to show everyone and it's in walking distance, but not in this weather... If you're okay with that, I'm calling Mitchell."
"Uh, okay. Sure."
"Yeah?"
"Yep. I trust Mitchell to keep me safe." Clarke nods.
"Perfect." Anya grins and Lexa knows this grin. It's the one Anya wears when she's up to something, so Lexa narrows her eyes at her, calculating what she's on about. "Nope, sis. I'm not telling. You'll find out soon enough," Anya winks.
*
Mitchell pulls over by the curb in front of a house neither of the women knows, except for Anya. It's dark grey with white doors and windows. It's a one level house but it looks big enough for a family from this angle.
Anya watches the confusion on everyone's face and it makes her smile. "Come on, let's go inside," she says, stepping out of the car. She holds an umbrella out for Raven making sure she's okay as she tugs her by the arm towards the house. Clarke and Lexa follows right behind them, their faces hidden under the hood of their raincoats.
"Babe, what is this?" Raven asks even though she kind of knows. She and Anya have been talking about the possibility of moving in together and the main reason they haven't done so yet is because of Clarke and Lexa. They don't want to leave either of them alone without a roommate and they don't want to push them into moving in together because of it.
Anya has been secretly looking for houses that are big enough for all of them. With at least three bedrooms, and a bigger kitchen, a living room big enough for an extra couch, room for Lexa's piano, big windows for Clarke and a minimum of stairs for Raven.
You'd think the idea of moving in with your girlfriend and then having to roommate with your sister AND her girlfriend would scare anyone off, but truth is, Anya likes having everyone close. That's the thing she wrote down on the list for herself, well, that and a spare bathroom.
Anya likes to think that it's a probable solution right here right now, a temporary solution until the time is right for everyone to do their own thing.
"It's a house, Rae." Anya deadpans.
"Oh shut up, smartass, you know what I mean." Raven scolds playfully.
Anya pulls out a key from her pocket and unlocks the front door. She takes a deep breath before opening the door to reveal a wide hallway of mahogany wooden floors and white walls. "Okay, first things first, take off shoes and coats and then I'll tell you why we're all here."
So they do, confusion still stuck to their faces.
"Sis, did you know mom and dad own this house?"
Lexa shakes her head, a small frown pulling her eyebrows together.
"Neither did I until a few days ago. In fact, they own seven houses in this town, but that's not the point. I'll give you the tour and then we'll talk." Anya says turning around to walk down the hall.
"First door on the right, bedroom number one." Anya says, opening the door. "Go on, have a look."
Lexa walks in first, the others hanging in the doorway. It's simple and comfortable and it holds a king size bed and there's a built-in closet on the left wall.
Anya crosses the hall and opens another door. "First door on the left, bedroom number two." Raven enters this one. It's the same as the other one, only the layout is mirrored.
Anya continues the tour down the hall. "Second door on the right, big ass bathroom. Second door on the left, bedroom number three, only smaller. Third door on the left, tiny bathroom."
She watches everyone take in their surroundings, everyone too surprised to speak.
"...which means we have reached the most interesting part of this house." She walks backwards into the brightly lit room and throws a hand out to present it to the others. "Everything in this house leads to this."
The kitchen and the living room is one big integrated solution. The kitchen is on the right side. The kitchen area is separated from the living room area only by a high table with counter chairs big enough for eight people to dine. The left side of the room is occupied by a large TV screen on the wall and a seating area includling a big fluffy L-shaped couch. The left side area extends into an edged half circle of floor to ceiling windows creating a secluded area attached to the living room. Lexa walks past the couches and towards the extended area that undoubtedly has her name on it, figure of speach. Anya grins as she watches Lexa take a seat by the grand piano, well, the small grand piano, the body is half the size of a normal grand piano.
"It's not big enough for a full grand piano, sis, but I figured this model would do?"
Lexa runs her index finger along the keys feeling the smooth surface of ivory beneath her fingertips, not pressing any of them down, clearly lost in her own world.
"There's a terrace and a tiny garden space outside too, but I'm not going out there in this weather. Take a seat." Anya gestures to the kitchen table.
As everyone is settled around the table, Anya looks at everyone one at a time before talking.
"Rae and I have been talking about moving in together. The main reason that hasn't happened yet is because both of us want to make sure that both of you are okay."
"You shouldn't worry about us," Clarke interrupts. "I mean, yeah we'll miss our roommates but if you want to do this, we're happy for you and we'll figure something out." She looks at Lexa who nods her agreement.
"That may be, but neither of us is comfortable doing that just yet." Anya assures them. "I went and talked to mom and dad last week, and this is news to Rae too, but I talked to mom and dad about them helping to secure both apartments financially as long as you both need it. That way you wouldn't be forced to rush any decision until you're ready. But it kind of backfired because dad went to his office and came back with a binder that holds information on all their house properties. He told me to have a look, maybe there'd be one with room for all of us and then the financials won't be an issue."
"You mean... This house..." Raven stutters, not quite sure what she's trying to say.
"Yes. It's big enough, there's even an extra room if any of us wants to be alone for a while. The rent is cheaper than both our apartments together. It's closer to the hospital, Clarke. I might have to get a car to go to work, but that's easily fixed. No stairs, Rae. Piano, Sis. Big windows, Clarke. An extra bathroom for me. And, if things by any chance doesn't work out, it's mom and dad's house... I mean, it'll be easier to solve any issues then."
"Uh, okay..." Clarke doesn't even know what to say.
"I know this is a lot to take in. Just think about it. We've basically been living together for the past couple of months... more or less... Just on a smaller space. Just, think about it, okay? I'm just letting you know that we have other options."
Lexa looks at the piano. It's not so much that she wants the piano, it's that she wants the piano and Clarke under the same roof. She wants to wake up next to Clarke every day and she wants to be able to play a piece before going to bed to kiss Clarke goodnight. She wants to never have to go home to a place that doesn't have Clarke in it.
But maybe it's too soon to admit it.
Clarke looks at Lexa. It's not so much that she wants Lexa to have this, it's that she wants it too. She wants to wake up entangled in Lexa every morning or to Lexa's tiny love letters on the pillow. She wants to find her glued to her piano with a dreamy smile on her face. She wants to lie on that couch listening to Lexa play the piano while sketching her favorite muse. She wants Raven's dinner parties at this very table. She wants to not hold Raven back and if that means Raven moves out of the apartment and in with Anya, then so be it. Mostly, she really likes the idea of all of them moving into this house. They're all a part of her family. Even Anya. They're her home and this house is actually kind of perfect.
But maybe it's too soon to admit it.
Raven is undeniably in love with Anya who once again has managed to sweep her off her feet. She likes this idea. She won't deny it. She loves the idea of moving in with Anya, moving into a bigger place where also Clarke and Lexa can live. She didn't think she would but she absolutely loves the idea. Raven doesn't have a family. She has Clarke. She has Anya. She has Lexa. She has Clarke's parents too, but it's not the same as having your own. She can tell that both Lexa and Clarke wants this too. She can tell they're not ready to say it yet, that they need to have the talk first, the same talk she and Anya had a couple of months ago, the talk that settles whatever concerns they might have for the future. It's an important talk to have and it'll happen in due time.
But maybe it's too soon for them.
"Let's go back home." Anya says rising from her seat and no one takes notice of how comfortable they are with that idea.
Going home.
The same home.