Chapter I
It's Sunday and it's one of those hot lazy summer days that leaves pearls of sweat on skin and a hunger for ice cream in bellies. It's the kind that fills the park with smiley faces and people playing ball games well into the evening and it fills the air with a promise of good times and a buzzing of laughter.
There's a young woman sitting on a bench in the park. She's casually leaning against the back of the bench, legs stretched and one foot crossed over the other, her hands folded behind her head and a content smile turned towards the sun. She has a tiny notebook and a small pencil in the back pocket of her jeans and it will most likely stay there. She's soaking up the sun while waiting on the love of her life.
There's a young woman walking along the gravel dirt pathway in the park. Her golden hair is pulled up in a lazy bun to leave easy access for the occasional breeze to cool off the sweating skin of her neck. She's walking with a skip in her step and humming a tune under her breath. She just got off work and she nearly trips over her feet to move faster because she's on her way to meet the love of her life.
"Is there room for one more on this bench?" Clarke asks rhetorically and with a playful tone, as she slides in next to Lexa. She leans in to place a kiss on her cheek and her heart skips a beat as her favorite half smile breaks free from Lexa's lips. The smile tugs on the corner of Lexa's cheek and Clarke places another kiss in its place.
"Let the Sunday tradition begin," Clarke exhales as she leans back too. Clarke closes her eyes and places a resting hand on Lexa's thigh and it's like a game of predictable domino, an unwritten routine where the next domino to fall is Lexa's arm easing its way behind Clarke's shoulders pulling her in closer. The next domino is the inevitable kiss Lexa presses to Clarke's head as it lands on her shoulders.
And it's one of Clarke's favorite things.
"I've missed you," Clarke sighs and Lexa chuckles and that's another one of Clarke's favorite things and it's quite new to her repertoire.
Lexa always responds to things she finds humorous in a silent manner. It's a polite half smile or a certain look in her eyes or the way she averts people's eyes when they fall upon her. Clarke remembers the first time Lexa chuckled, like a whisper and nearly there, but it was a chuckle and it was a sound escaping Lexa's lips. Clarke had greeted her in the doorway with paint stains in her hair and a green strike on her nose and the whispery chuckle had filled the air between them and Lexa looked confused for a split second before Clarke had pressed her lips against hers pulling her inside the apartment.
That was two weeks ago and it has developed into a more vocal kind of chuckle since. To most people it would just be Lexa expressing her amusement, but to Clarke it's the most precious thing in the world when Lexa's voice slips through the brick wall. It's like the smell of rain and newly cut grass and double rainbows and warm socks on a winter's day and staying in bed all day tracing the contours of Lexa's body with her fingertips.
"Yeah yeah, I saw you this morning, so sue me," Clarke says snuggling closer and Lexa responds placing another kiss to the top of Clarke's messy golden hair.
"Okay, five more minutes? Then we can go," Clarke pleads and Lexa responds with another kiss.
*
Their Sunday tradition has expanded to also involve Raven and Anya and a trip to the ice cream shop. If the weather allows it, they eat their ice cream in the park, if not, they take it back to Raven and Clarke's place for a movie and ice cream afternoon.
"Hey babe." Raven snakes her arms around Anya's waist and places a kiss on her neck.
"Hey." Anya twist in her arms so they're face to face. She pushes loose strands of hair behind Raven's ear and pulls Raven into a kiss. There's a hint of sadness on Raven's tongue and it's so subtle that anyone would've missed it but Anya's specialty is the subtlety of silent communication so she breaks the kiss to meet Raven's eyes. "What's wrong?" she asks, because she knows that 'are you okay' is a question Raven easily rejects with a 'yeah, just tired'. But 'what's wrong' let's Raven know that Anya knows something is definitely wrong so she might as well spill the beans.
"Nothing... It's... I don't know..." Raven exhales heavily, her shoulders slumping a little.
"Is it the nightmares?" Anya looks concerned.
"No..."
"They're more frequent, Rae."
"... yeah. It's... There's this constant unrest in my body. And my leg is hurting more. It's hard to sleep."
"What, your leg is hurting?"
"...more. It always hurts, it's just.. worse."
"Tell me if you need me to do anything, okay?" Anya knows that Raven doesn't like to be pitied. And she knows she wants to deal with things herself and although she's worried out of her mind about Raven, she also knows that it's better to just let her know she's there for her if needed instead of pushing her to do things she's doesn't want to or don't feel ready for.
Raven bites her lip nervously. "Don't worry, babe. It gets like this once in a while and I've managed so far. Just keep loving me, okay? It's all I need."
"I couldn't stop even if I tried," Anya whispers against her forehead, her arms protectively encircling Raven's fragile body.
"Get a room!" Clarke calls from across the street and just like that Raven's demeanor changes from being openly vulnerable to squareing her shoulders and putting on that smirk she always carries around Clarke and it hits Anya right there that Raven puts on an act of strength for Clarke just like Anya does for Lexa and it breaks her heart.
Raven turns towards Clarke and Lexa and flips Clarke the finger to which Clarke winks at her.
"Do you kiss Lexa with that mouth?" Raven fires.
"In a matter of fact, yes I do," Clarke humors back and then she lifts their laced hands to leave a kiss on Lexa's knuckles and then she grins back at Raven as to challenge her for another round.
"Sometimes I feel like the oldest person in the world around you two," Anya sighs as she pulls Raven away from Clarke and into the ice cream shop.
*
Sunday tradition always ends in a movie night in the comfy couch of Clarke and Raven's living room. Sometimes Raven and Anya joins too and so they sit shoulder to shoulder in a tight fit, all four of them in one couch and each and every one of them thinks this is what life is about. Just enjoying these calm moments with the ones you love.
On most Sunday evenings, Clarke and Lexa are alone on the couch and they always end up an entangled mess of legs and arms and hair and lips and they always end up lost in each other instead of the movie.
"Why do we ever put on a movie? We never watch it," Clarke whispers as Lexa leaves kisses on her neck and Clarke answers by running her hand under Lexa's shirt.
"Why do I get the feeling you wouldn't answer me even if you did talk?" Clarke tries helplessly as Lexa slides a thigh between her legs, pulling her closer by her hip. And this is one of many reasons Lexa loves Clarke. There's no walking on egg-shells around the fact that Lexa doesn't speak. It just is and Lexa loves that Clarke jokes about it.
"Lexa..." Clarke gasps because she has absolutely no control of her body when Lexa does that and Lexa smirks into the crook between her neck and her shoulder.
And Clarke gives in because she's helpless in Lexa's hands and because she wants to. Her fingers find their way into Lexa's hair, and they travel down Lexa's back along the curve of her spine and they find their home on Lexa's ass. "You're wearing too much clo-"
"Get a room!" Raven smirks from the doorway.
Caught in the act, they freeze and Lexa hides her face in Clarke's shoulder as Clarke sighs, "Go away, Raven!"
"Gross, sis! On the couch we all sit on?" Anya exclaims from behind Raven and if Lexa looked up she'd see Anya smirking because she loves to embarrass her sister but Lexa doesn't need to see it to know it. And because Lexa is the stubborn little sister that won't let Anya win, she untangles herself from Clarke and gets up from the couch in one swift motion. She then continues to pick up Clarke and swing her over her shoulder and carries her into Clarke's room with a challenging smirk meant for Anya and Raven while Clarke yells something like, "LEXA!! What are you... freakishly strong..." and it's laced with the kind of uncontrollable heartfelt laughter that only Clarke specializes in, the kind that makes Lexa's heart burst at the seams.
When the door to Clarke's bedroom closes Raven looks at Anya who looks mortified by the behavior of her little sister and it's so far off the coolness she usually carries and Raven can't contain herself as she bursts out laughing and she's laughing so hard Anya needs to support her body to keep her from falling over.
*
It's not so much a tradition as it is a routine when Lexa stays the night. It's most nights except those when Clarke has night shifts at the hospital. It's an inevitable conclusion to the problem they find themselves in when they sleep alone in a bed too big for just one person. Both women have felt the pain of missing someone for too long and life is too short to not take every opportunity there is to make each other feel safe.
It's the warmth that spreads through sleepy limps as Clarke whispers 'I love you' in the dark and it's the feeling of fireworks in her heart when Lexa leaves post-its with mutant stick man drawings on the bathroom mirror for Clarke to find on days that she sleeps in and Lexa has to go to work early.
It's the safety in waking up to comforting words or comforting hugs after a nightmare.
It's waking up on days off to find Raven or Anya in the kitchen. Clarke and Raven's apartment has become all four women's headquarters and you'd think that they'd get tired of each other's company but the truth is that they need each other to stay strong. All four of them. A unity.
*
Clarke wakes up Monday morning with every fiber in her body missing Lexa's body against hers. She's got the day off and Lexa doesn't. This is a reoccurring event. Clarke wakes up alone and she rolls over onto Lexa's pillow to fall back asleep surrounded by her scent. Most times Clarke rolls over, her face hitting the raw surface of one of Lexa's morning notes instead of the softness of a pillow.
'Love, I've got a surprise for you tonight. Be ready at 6:30pm. Dress code: casually fancy and that brilliant smile of yours.'
Lexa has drawn a few musical notes around the words and that's one thing Lexa can draw, at least. Clarke traces the words with her index finger and smiles because Lexa calls her 'Love', it's like every note from Lexa is a love letter and Clarke doesn't mind that one bit.
Clarke knows the music notes are a clue but she can't figure out what it means. When it comes to Lexa and music there are zillions of combinations and frankly it could be any one of them.
Clarke sighs and rolls out of bed. It's 8:25am and there's no way she'll be able to go back to sleep now. She pulls on a pair of sweat pants and an old worn out t-shirt and goes on a hunt for breakfast and company.
"Mornin'" Anya greets Clarke, her eyes still stuck to the newspaper in front of her. Anya has an even worse work schedule than Clarke has. She has mostly evening shifts this week and Clarke had asked her about it but Anya had responded with a "If I told you I'd have to kill you" and for some reason Clarke believed her, well, enough to not push her on the matter.
"Oh, hey Anya. So it's just the two of us today, huh?" Clark yawns. "I'm gonna make an omelette, should I make enough for two?"
"Yeah, sure. Need help?" Anya's attention is still on the newspaper.
"Nope. Lexa has a surprise for me at 6:30 tonight and I need something to distract me until then... A two-portion omelette is my first project," Clarke grins sheepishly, a little embarrassed to admit it.
"I know what it is" Anya says matter-of-factly, like a know-it-all big sister does best.
"Anya, you gotta give me a clue! I hate surprises," Clarke pleads.
"No you don't." Anya says, raising an eyebrow while her eyes are still stuck to whatever she's reading.
"No I don't... " Clarke sighs impatiently." So, interesting article?"
"Depends on who you ask, I guess." Anya turns the newspaper upside down so Clarke can read it from the other side of the counter. "Our beloved parents have decided on expanding their company and it means they're doing this big fundraiser event next month, their own kind of PR stunt."
"That sounds big, why are you not excited?"
"We have a kind of strained relationship to our parents because neither of us wants to take over the company. They thought they could convince Lexa to change her mind, well, that was until she lost Costia." Anya scrunching her eyebrows together.
"I see. So, what is it they do?" Lexa doesn't speak about her parents so Clarke only knows that they're alive and that they're wealthy and also that Lexa doesn't want to be their charity.
"Well, it's complicated... but consider them a sort of a consulting firm for governments and big corporations. They're the leading company of that sort in the country."
"Yeah, sorry I asked," Clarke chuckles.
"They've always been very committed to their company and it meant that they weren't home a lot when we were kids... I guess, neither of us wants that kind of life for ourselves." Anya shrugs.
"I don't blame you," Clarke agrees.
"Yeah... Just know, that if we have to go to this fundraiser thing, you and Raven have to go too," Anya winks and Clarke laughs at her because going to a fundraiser doesn't sound too bad despite whatever Anya thinks.
"Clarke... Something else... I think Raven is struggling with something at the moment and you know her, she wants to handle things herself... How do I know if it's bad enough for me to intervene?"
"She's... Struggling with what?"
"I don't know. Her nightmares are more frequent and she says her leg hurts more... I got the feeling something is terribly wrong."
"Mh... The thing with Raven is she's stubborn as hell and she's got this protector complex, like, she thinks she needs to be strong for others. I don't know what else there is to do but to be ready to catch her if she does fall. I'll promise to keep an eye on her, okay?"
"Okay, Thank you," Anya nods thoughtfully. "Clarke?" The hint of a smile dancing on her lips.
"Yeah?" Clarke raises an eye, a bit confused about the sudden change in mood.
"How about that omelette?"
"Oh right... Coming up."