How Much I Love You
Lexa was slowly going insane.
After visiting all the Disney parks, Universal Studios, and a few Disney water parks they were finally on the second to last day of their vacation. Lexa and Clarke had decided that they would spend the last two days just relaxing at the resort and maybe doing a little bit of shopping around town. Currently Lexa sat lounging in a chair, poolside, as she watched Clarke lazily swim around the resort pool.
For the past nine days Clarke had been pushing Lexa to her limits. The subtle touches, teasing kisses here and there, and giving Lexa quite the show when Clarke stripped herself of her clothing at night. Everything was driving Lexa insane, and she wasn’t allowed to touch her, at least not how she wanted to. Even sitting here now and watching the blonde float around in her tiny blue bikini had her hands twitching to feel that wet skin on her palms.
Lexa let out an exaggerated sigh as she moved her sunglasses from their place atop her head to cover her eyes. Maybe with them Clarke wouldn’t be able to notice just how much she was bothering her. The detective only let out another deep sigh as she heard Clarke giggle from her spot near the edge of the pool.
“Something wrong, Lexa?”
Lexa peered at Clarke through her dark shades before leaning her head back against the chair and closing her eyes,“Nope, nothing at all.”
Another giggle was released at the sarcastic tone that flowed through Lexa’s voice. The sound of water splashing and wet feet padding against the tile surrounding the pool had Lexa opening her eyes. Her throat went dry and her mouth dropped open as she watched Clarke walk towards her, rivulets of water flowing down her body as she wrung her hair out. As she slung the mass of wet blonde hair back over her shoulder Clarke gave Lexa a sultry smirk.
“You really should close your mouth before you catch a fly in there.”
Lexa’s mouth quickly snapped shut as Clarke giggled once again before taking her seat in the chair next to her. Emerald eyes secretly trailed over the golden skin of Clarke as she leaned back and basked in the Florida sun. Tearing her gaze away from the doctor Lexa quickly reached to the table between the chairs to grab ahold of the margarita that sat on it. As she downed the rest of the drink movement to right caught her eye and she turned to look at Clarke who now sat at the edge of her chair staring at Lexa.
“What is it, Clarke?”
“I actually wanted to talk to you about something, but not here. Are you ready to go back to the room?”
Eyebrows furrowed in confusion Lexa nodded hesitantly,“Yeah, I’m ready. Is something wrong?”
“No…just something we need to discuss.”
Knowing she wasn’t going to get any further information from Clarke until they got to the room, Lexa began to gather their things before following the now towel clad blonde away from the pool.
Placing her MagicBand against the sensor Lexa waited a millisecond for the sound of the door unlocking before pushing her way inside, Clarke trailing closely behind her. Lexa placed their stuff onto the couch on the table next to the door before turning to Clarke with worried eyes.
“Now, what did you want to talk to me about?”
Lexa only became more confused as Clarke just silently stood there staring into her emerald eyes. They sat in silence for a few moments as Lexa waited impatiently for Clarke to say something. Anything. As the minutes ticked by with an agonizingly slow pace Lexa only became more and more confused.
“Clarke, what the hell—,” Before Lexa could get any other words out Clarke sprang into action.
Lexa tried to steady herself as Clarke jumped up and wrapped her legs around her hips, towel now laying forgotten on the floor, and desperately crushed their lips together. Heart soaring, Lexa didn’t hesitate to slip her hands under Clarke’s thighs before turning slightly and pushing her against the wall. As Clarke’s bare back came into contact with the cold wall she pulled away from Lexa’s lips to let out a shuttering breath, allowing Lexa to trail kisses along her jawline.
“Wait, Lex,” Clarke slightly pushed against Lexa’s shoulder’s,“I really should talk to you first before we go any further. I kind of got ahead of myself.”
Even though she was not too pleased to be pushed away from the silky skin, Lexa pulled back to stare into the ocean blue eyes of her girlfriend,“Okay, you talk and I’ll keep myself occupied while I listen.”
Lexa allowed her lips to ghost along the column of Clarke’s neck as she waited for the blonde to continue speaking. Before she could begin to suck on the blonde’s racing pulse point Clarke was pushing her away once again.
“Lexa, please. If you do that I’ll never be able to talk, and I need you to listen.”
Lexa groaned deeply before letting her head fall forward to rest on Clarke’s shoulder,“Fine. Go ahead.”
“Look at me,” Clarke demanded as she placed her hands on either side of Lexa’s head and guided her to lock eyes with her,“These past few days, they’ve been some of the best of my life. You’ve been pampering me left and right and, even though I know how frustrated you've been getting, you’ve listened to my demands of no sex until you’ve earned my love and trust back.”
Lexa’s eyes searched Clarke’s face for moment before nodding in understanding. It’s true that she had been pampering her girlfriend since the first moment they stepped foot in Florida. The little things seemed to matter more to Clarke, if the large smile that broke out onto her face gave Lexa any indication. From purchasing a little stuffed Stitch that Clarke had been eyeing to piggyback rides when her feet began to hurt. Lexa strode to make sure that that smile never left her lips, and not just because she was trying to earn everything back.
Even though it would break her heart Lexa didn’t care if Clarke didn’t completely take her back, she just wanted her to be happy, to smile brightly as she had done for the past week. The one thing that mattered most to Lexa was Clarke’s happiness. She never wanted to see the version of Clarke when she was drunk at her door ever again. She wouldn’t let her get that way, ever.
“I can tell you’ve been putting forth every little effort to make sure I’ve been happy these past few days. Especially last night when you thought I was asleep and began telling me how much you loved me. How stupid you said you were for leaving me those three months,” Clarke whispered gently.
Lexa’s eyes widened as Clarke revealed that she was never asleep. The words that had come from her mouth that night were something Lexa never thought she had to courage to outright tell Clarke. Thinking back to that night, Lexa couldn’t help the blush that seeped up to her cheeks.
Two nights ago - 1 a.m.
Lexa lay in bed staring up at the white ceiling of their room, mind restless. A slight murmur coming from Clarke caught her attention and looked over to see her tossing slightly in her sleep, eyebrows furrowing slightly. Moving carefully, Lexa pulled the blonde closer to her and wrapped her tightly in her arms. Clarke shifted in her sleep and placed her head over Lexa’s chest before throwing an arm across her stomach.
Running her hand through Clarke’s blonde locks Lexa smiled down softly at the peaceful expression washed over her face. Lexa placed a feather light kiss to Clarke’s forehead before gently resting her head atop of hers.
“I love you, Clarke. So much more than words can explain. Your stubbornness, the little crinkle you get between your eyes when you’re concentrating, the way your eyes sparkle when you’re happy. Everything about you just pulls me in. I was a complete jerk those three months. I thought I was protecting you when in reality the only thing I did was hurt you even further. Hearing you banging on my door and seeing you laying there, broken, that night at my door just tore my heart apart.”
Lexa glanced down to see Clarke still sleeping peacefully, not showing one sign that she had awoken.
“Everyday of those three months felt like ten years had passed. I avoided you by staying with Anya, which she didn’t like very much. Hell, she even tried to push me out the door to go see you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t stand to see you laying in that hospital bed hooked up to all those machines and IV’s. I just couldn’t. That first time I saw you the night after everything that happened I lost it. How pale you were, how weak you looked. I blamed myself and I knew I couldn’t see you anymore. I made Anya promise to tell you nothing, to not let you see me, and for her not to talk to you.”
A deep sigh left Lexa’s lips.
“I thought I was finally becoming numb to the pain that I felt when you weren’t around, at least until you came knocking on my door that night. The way you sounded, the heartbreak in your voice, it tore me apart inside because I could tell it was the same way I felt about you. I know that my decision to keep us away from each other was my choice and that giving you no explanation made you feel ten times worse than I felt. When I opened that door and found you passed out at my feet all that pain came rushing back. I knew in that moment that I wouldn’t be able to live without you in my life. I knew I would have a lot of work ahead of me to make up for what I had done, but that didn’t matter to me as long as I got you back in my arms, safe and sound.”
Lexa shifted and placed another kiss to Clarke’s forehead.
“I love you. Those three little words will never explain how much you mean to me. The way my heart flutters in my chest when you’re around. The warmth that seeps through my skin when your body is next to mine. Nothing can compare, Clarke. Nothing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Get a house with the white picket fence that everyone dreams about, get married, have kids someday, and grow old together. I want all of that with you. Just you, no one else.”
The reigns of sleep began to pull at Lexa’s eyes and before succumbing to them, she pulled Clarke closer to her and nuzzled their heads together. As she was lulled into sleep she wasn’t able to catch the small grin that floated across the blonde’s lips below her.
“You heard all that?”
Clarke nodded her head slowly,“Every word. It was then that I realized how horrible you really felt for what you did. I forgave you then and there. Every little bit of anger that I still felt washed away with your words. I know we’ll still have to work out a few things along the way but I’m ready to take you back. Fully.”
Lexa’s breath caught in her lungs before a large grin broke over her face. Tightening her hold on Clarke’s thighs Lexa pulled her away from the wall to spin her around happily. Clarke laughed out merrily before Lexa stopped and placed a passionate kiss to her lips.
“I love you, Clarke.”
“And I love you, Lexa.”
As soon as those words left her lips Lexa felt the sexual tension from the past few days rise to the surface. Moving quickly, Lexa slammed Clarke back into the wall. A loud gasp left the blonde’s throat before Lexa’s lips covered hers. Hands rushed to pull at the strings of Clarke’s bikini before letting it fall to the floor below them. As Lexa felt Clarke’s hands working on her own bikini she shifted Clarke higher on her waist before removing her from the wall and carrying her off towards their room.
Throwing open the door, Lexa made her way over to the bed where she proceeded to drop Clarke. Perky breasts bounced slightly as Clarke landed on the bed, Lexa’s bathing suit top in her hands. Smirking, Lexa allowed herself to crawl slowly up the blonde’s body only to stop at her hips. Glancing up to see Clarke’s eyes on her Lexa carefully took a bikini string between her teeth before tugging back and watching the knot come undone before doing the same to the other side.
Pulling away the skimpy fabric Lexa threw it over her shoulder to land unceremoniously across the room before continuing her way up Clarke’s body. Finally reaching the blonde’s neck, Lexa finally began sucking at her pulse point like she had been dying to do back in the other room. A low moan came from Clarke as she sucked harder before pulling away with a ‘pop’. Lexa smirked at the bright red mark that Clarke now sported on her neck.
Shifting herself up, Lexa captured Clarke’s lips in a heated kiss and felt her hands roam down the expanse of her back. Lexa ran her tongue across Clarke’s bottom lip for permission to enter her moist cavern. When granted access Lexa twined her tongue with Clarke’s in a heated battle of dominance. As they continued to battle Lexa began running her hands down the length of Clarke’s body before coming to a stop at the juncture of her thighs.
Pulling away, Lexa glanced down at Clarke’s face as she screwed her eyes shut in pleasure,“Open your eyes, Clarke. Look at me.”
Clarke’s crystal blue eyes opened slowly to stare into Lexa’s emerald orbs only to shut once against as she began rubbing her hand over Clarke’s hidden pearl. Stopping her hand, Lexa didn’t move until Clarke’s eyes were once again open.
“If you want me to keep this up you have to keep your eyes open and on me,” Lexa whispered huskily.
Clarke nodded her head in understanding and Lexa finally began moving her hand once again. A loud moan sounded from Clarke’s lips as she arched her back from the bed, eyes still locked with Lexa’s. Emerald eyes narrowed slightly before moving her hand to allow two fingers slip slowly inside of Clarke. Another moan escaped Clarke as she threw her head back in ecstasy trying hopelessly to keep her eyes on Lexa. As Lexa continued her slow ministrations on her she let out a slight gasp as she felt Clarke’s own hand begin to rub across her own little bundle of nerves.
“You’re playing dirty here, Clarke.”
“You want this just as much as I do, Lexa. Why not do it together?”
Lexa forwent responding and instead pulled her fingers out of Clarke to place them back over her pearl and matching rhythm with Clarke. Both women moaned at the amount of pleasure that coursed through their body as they helped each other get closer to release. Lexa could feel Clarke’s hips bucking desperately beneath her and knew that she wouldn’t last much longer. She could feel her own release sneaking up on her and began rubbing faster against Clarke’s hand so they could climax together.
As Clarke’s back arched high off the bed and a deep moan pushed through her lips, signaling her release, Lexa felt her own wash over her in that exact moment. Their lips crashed together in a bruising kiss as they both fell from their high, chests heaving with heavy pants. Lexa pulled away slowly, still allowing her lips to ghost over Clarke’s, and opened her eyes and became mesmerized with Clarke’s ocean blues.
“Marry me.”
Clarke’s eyes widened,“What?”
“Marry me, Clarke. Be mine. Forever.”
Tears welled up and slipped from Clarke’s eyes as she stared at Lexa in disbelief,“Are you serious? You really want this?”
“Yes,” Lexa said seriously,“I can’t live my life without you. I know that from experience. I want you in every way, shape, and form. I want you to have my last name. I want to wake up next to you every morning and be able to call you my wife. I want you to be able to stare down at a ring on your finger and know that you have someone waiting for you at home with all the love in the world.”
A happy sob left Clarke’s mouth as Lexa spoke. Brushing a stray tear that slipped down Clarke’s face Lexa searched her eyes for a moment.
“What do you say, Clarke? Will you marry me?”
“Hell yes!”
Clarke shouted happily before throwing her arms around Lexa’s neck and pulling her back down into a passionate kiss. Lexa smiled against Clarke’s lips as her heart threatened to soar out of her chest in happiness. As Lexa pulled back Clarke let out a watery giggle before placing her hand against her cheek.
“I love you, Lexa. So much.”
“I love you too, Clarke. More than anything in this universe.”
Lexa wiped away one last tear before pulling Clarke’s lips back to hers. Both women continued to love each other through the day, not bothering to stop even as the sun began it’s slow decent below the horizon, sending golden rays to cover their bodies as they basked in the love of one another.