crashing

Serena was sat outside the hospital while someone came to talk to Bernie. it was something Bernie had to do on her own without Serena watching over her. Either that or Serena couldn't bare to be there and listen to all that Bernie had been through. The woman she had thought as a friend. then fallen in love with. she never thought it would be possible her Serena Campbell to fall in love with a woman but she did, and it felt so right. she wondered for a moment what others would think of her at her age, falling in love with a woman. but the way she felt about Bernie she really didn't care what others thought about her. she thought about all the great times they would have together, the times they would lay in bed while she held Bernie in her arms. the walks in the park they would have on crisp Autumn evenings or the summers they would spend on the beach. she was really looking forward to those.
then she remembered what about Jason, what would he think about all this? ok she didn't care what anyone thought apart from him. he was the closest family she had and he was such a sensitive sole. but that was a conversation to be had on monday when Jason came back. in this moment right here right now all that mattered was Bernie, making sure that she got well again. they had found each other so late on in life and Serena wanted to make the most of the time they had together. she sat there wondering what it would have been like it they had met earlier on in life she would have been so much happier with Bernie than she ever was with Edward. but there was no point in dwelling on the past just think about the future. she wanted to do all she could to help Bernie. she wanted to keep her forever no matter what it took.
if she knew this was what falling in love with a woman was like she would have left Edward years ago and given up on men or was it just Bernie?, she couldn't really be sure. but would she ever want to find out, because right now she could see herself with Bernie for the rest of her life. being that old couple holding hands sitting on the end of the pier eating fish and chips. She smiled and then thought to herself did Bernie feel the same way?. she had been with women before was this the same or different. she didn't seem last too long with Alex. she was going to try her hardest to show Bernie that she was different and that she wasn't about to leave Bernie when the going go tough. which is certainly what Alex did to Bernie and Edward did to her, even Marcus did it to Bernie. she couldn't bare the though there was people out there that let Bernie down a lot. she couldn't ever imagine her doing that to Bernie, she loved Bernie far too much for the to do that.
she still couldn't believe that she took so long to tell Bernie the truth. she was just so scared, she didn't know if Bernie felt the same way. that it was really the right thing to do as she'd never fallen in love with a woman before. she wished she could have read her mind that would have told her what she needed to know. but then again if she had she would have helped Bernie with her problems earlier instead of bernie suffering in silence.
it started to rain she decided it was best to go inside before she caught her death sitting on that cold bench. she moved inside to pulses and bought a coffee to warm up. she sat down at one of the nearby tables, she stared out of the window. there was something soothing about the sound of rain on the windows Serena though as she watched it bucket down outside. she sat there thinking about Bernie for a moment when she was joined by Morven.
"oh there you are Serena" said Morven as she sat down next to Serena "you're all wet" Morven noticed
"i did the stupid thing of sitting outside, didn't realise it was raining till i was wet" Serena laughed
"Anyway how are you?" Morven asked
"not too bad exhausted though" Serena admitted
"it's bound to be tough dealing with all this on your own, but please remember i'm here to help as a doctor and a friend" said Morven
"but you didn't come to ask how i was did you?" Serena pointed out
"no i didn't" said Morven with a worried look on her face
"What is it?" Serena asked she was beginning to look worried and panic a bit "it's Bernie what's she done now?"
"she's just a bit distressed panicky she asking after you she thinks you've left her" Morven explained
"i love her too much to do that to her" Serena replied
"i can see you really love her, i tried to calm her down but it didn't help" Morven said
"i knew i shouldn't have left her" said Serena
"the counselor said it's going to take a while but she will get better" Morven explained
"i know i want to be there to help her as well" said Serena "she trusts me or i like to think she does"
"she does or she wouldn't be calling for you" Morven said
then Serena realised "so what the bloody hell am i doing still sitting here?" she asked and raced back to AAU.