crashing

Serena's shift on AAU finished without any problems and she went to check on Bernie, who was sat up in bed when she came into the room

"What you said earlier?" Bernie asked "did you mean it?"

"let's go home and we can talk about it there" said Serena as she helped Bernie into a wheelchair, she looked a little bit calmer and happy compared to a few hours ago. Serena would rather discuss her private life away from the hospital if that was at all possible these days. everyone seem to know everyone's business in this hospital.

Bernie looked absent mindly out the window as Serena drove them back to her place.

"Jason is away for a few days so we have the house to ourselves" said Serena as she pulled into the driveway, she helped Bernie out of the car and indoors to sit on the sofa. she thought about opening a bottle of wine but then thought that might be a bad idea, at least until they had talked things over.

Bernie sat there thinking maybe Serena does want me, maybe we can be happy together. but there was a thought at the back of her mind somewhere telling her otherwise. she doesn't really love you no one does, she will only hurt you like everyone else has done. you're kids Marcus even Alex left you. she tried to ignore the thoughts and push them to the back of her mind. really she did want this, she wanted this more than anything else in the world right now. she sat there on the edge of the sofa, she was really nervous wondering what Serena had to say. maybe she should have stayed in the cafe instead of running off, but her mind had other ideas and she couldn't help it. Serena sat down next to her and held her hand, it was nice and warm it gave Bernie a bit of comfort .

"Bernie what i wanted to say was i love you more than anything, anyone i've ever loved before. it really feels different this time and i couldn't carry on without at least just telling you this. if you wanted to leave now i would fully understand" Serena explained

Bernie sat there for a moment wondering what to say, in the back of her mind she wanted nothing more than to run away again leave this place so no one else could hurt her ever again. but in all reality she know that Serena would never do that to her. she thought for a second and plucked up the courage to say something.

"i love you too Serena or at least i want to but it's hard " Bernie explained

"i know but i will be here to help you with all that we can get through this" Serena Replied

Bernie laid her head on Serena's chest, Serena pulled Bernie in closer and put her arms around her

"i will always be here to help you through all your problems, the ups and downs. we can face them together" Serena explained

Bernie looked up at Serena giving her eye contact for the first time since she entered the house. she never really noticed how beautiful Serena's eyes were until that moment. She sat there lost in them a small smile came across her face.

Serena felt so good in that moment, it's the first time someone had really trusted her like this. trusted her enough to want her help. ok she had helped people at work that was her job, but somehow this felt different. The woman she really loved was sat here next to her in pieces and she wanted to try and help her put them back together.

Bernie took the next big step and kissed Serena on the lips. her mind was racing at 100 miles an hour. this felt the best thing ever right now. slow and passionate. in that one moment she felt all her worries slip away like nothing else mattered. this was a big step but one she was willing to take.

"no matter what happens don't leave me" Bernie pleaded

"i will be with you always" replied Serena

Bernie turned round and laid down on the sofa putting her head on Serena's chest. she was too tired to get up emotionally and physically drained. she laid there listening to Serena's heartbeat before drifting off to sleep. Serena laid there for a while stroking bernie's hair. Before she too nodded off for a bit.

Serena abruptly woke to the sound of Bernie screaming and clinging onto her quite tightly. Bernie is quite a bit heavier than Serena and she felt like Bernie was about to break some of her ribs. it took all her strength to pull her off. She quickly stood up and wondered what could have made her friend scream like that, what must she have been dreaming about. Serena knelt down to comfort her, Bernie suddenly sat up her breathing heavy. with the look of panic in her eyes.

"it's alright i'm here" said Serena as put her arms around Bernie

"they were coming for me, i couldn't escape" Bernie sobbed

"it's ok you don't need to tell me if you don't want to, it's just a nightmare they can't hurt you" said Serena trying to reassure Bernie

Again Bernie felt like she couldn't breath and her head was spinning, it was as if her lungs weren't her own anymore and she couldn't control them,

"Bernie breath like i showed you earlier, take a deep breath in and out" Said Serena as she tried to help her eventually her breathing started to return to normal.

Serena held bernie in her arms and rocked her for a bit. finally after a while Bernie calmed down. Serena wondered what the time was, she looked at the clock on the wall opposite her which said just after 7pm.

"time for some food i think" Serena suggested to Bernie

Bernie just sat there rocking back and forth like a frightened child.

she needed to get Bernie some proper help, she couldn't do this alone it was too exhausting. but that was for tomorrow she thought for now they needed some food.