Chapter 6
For the next few days, Kara hears a knock on her door every morning. Every morning she sees a cup of coffee left on her door step. And every morning since then, Kara hears only three words from Lena outside her door before the green eyed beaut leaves
I'm sorry, Kara.
For the next few days, home-cooked Lunch which were her favorite food are being delivered in her office. Every day, different favorite. Every day, different home-cooked meal. Every day, there was only one post it note on top of the food box.
I'll never stop trying.
For the next few days, an envelope slid inside her apartment, probably through the small gap between her door and the floor, welcomes her when she arrives home. The envelope contains one article she had written for the past 4 months and a half. Every night, different envelope. Every night, there was one hand written sentence at the back of the cut out articles Kara had written.
Even when we weren't talking, I've always been proud of you, Kara.
This was Kara's and Lena's routine. Every single day. Kara had initially thought Lena would stop eventually. But she didn't. Slowly, Kara began to look forward to waking up knowing She would hear Lena's voice in the morning even if Kara doesn't respond. Not even once. Gradually, she began to anticipate what favorite Lunch would she get that day. Slowly, Kara would leave work right away, knowing something would await her in her apartment.
Kara didn't even notice it but this routine made her smile every day. This routine probably made her day. Not until Lucy pointed it out.
"Someone's perkier than usual?" Lucy teases. "What is it this time? Pizza? Nachos? Salad?"
Kara looks up and sees Lucy pointing at her Lunch. Unconsciously, Kara smiles. "Potstickers!! Oh gosh they're the best, Luce!! Especially since they're home-cooked!!"
Lucy laughs as she shakes her head. Clearly, Lena knows the way to Kara's heart is through her stomach. It definitely helps that Lena knows all of Kara's favorite and is hell of a cook too!
"Don't you think it's time, Kara? It's been more than 2 weeks."
Kara pauses in eating her potstickers, her smile slowly fades as she ponders the thought.
"You know if you decide to forgive her though that something has to change, right? She is still with Veronica, Kar. You've really made some progress and I'd really hate to see you... I'd hate see you get hurt..."
"I know, Luce. I know"
"I know it's a long shot Kar. But I hope you do give me a chance. You have to give someone a chance to love you at some point, Kar" Lucy holds Kara and pulls her for a tight hug.
"Thank you Lucy. Thank you" Kara whispers.
Lucy was right. She has been perkier than usual. And she knows it's because Lena stayed true to her words. That she's never gonna give up for the slightest bit of chance for Kara to forgive her. But Lucy was right. She has to give someone a chance especially since that Lena is still with Veronica too. She's in this dilemma between moving on completely, cutting Lena out of her life and Forgiving Lena, taking her best friend back.
She doesn't know what to do. Her friends have been telling her to stay away and move on but what they don't understand is that Lena is more than just someone she is in love with. Was in love with? Kara doesn't know, really.
All she knows is she's been best friend with Lena since they were young. When the Danvers adopted her, she felt so lost. She loved Alex back then but Alex didn't understand how to be surrounded with people and still feel all alone, broken, like you didn't really belong. That all changed when Lena came in to her life. Lena knew how it felt like. Lena understood. She became Kara's rock, her anchor. Lena is family. And like family, no matter how much they really mess up, at the end of the day, family is family.
They both grew up together, experience life together. Yes, other people may think Lena was all about Veronica here and there but Lena is Kara's best friend for a reason too. Lena was the one who had stood up to the bullies for Kara. Lena was the one who had threatened James not to break Kara's heart when they dated back then. Lena was the one who had been there every single day when Kara was mourning Jeremiah'd death. She was there helping Kara get the Danvers' life together when Alex was too broken to function. She was the one who knocked some sense to Alex for Kara's sake. Lena had been the one to push Kara to follow her passion in Journalism since she was too scared. Lena had been the only one who didn't give her a hard time after Kara hurt everyone she loved when this frat boy she kinda dated influenced her in taking drugs. Lena had been the one that made sure that never happened again. Lena had been there. They were both there together in each others' ups and downs, highs and lows, darkest times and the sunniest ones. They've been there in each others' twist and turns of their lives.
It was not Kara's intention to fall in love with Lena. But she did. It had been a roller coaster ride with each other but more than 10 years of being together is no joke. Cutting Lena out completely is not as simple as moving on from your ex. It was like cutting your limb, a part of yourself. It was like mourning the death of your own family member. So her situation was never really that simple.
So when she hears the knock on the door the next morning. She opens it but not before she texts Lucy.
Lucy Lane
I'm doing it.
Kara smiles for a bit without saying a word, leaving the door open as she heads to her bathroom to take a shower.
The look on Lena's face was priceless. Kara never saw her that surprised and happy and somehow sad at the same time. The relief that followed after was something new too. And the smile she saw on Lena's face was definitely worth it. Kara's heart skipped a beat.
Not even the best days with Veronica made Lena smile like that.
She wasn't quite sure if she made the right decision. Lucy's words echo in her mind. She doesn't really know if she's just in denial but she tells herself it's okay. She tells herself that her feelings for Lena somehow faded away or if not, lessened. She knows she's probably putting herself in a position where she'll get hurt again but she has to try to be friends with Lena and stop her feelings at the same time. She never really tried before. She was just there, going through the motions, loving Lena, taking it all in as she watches her love another. She never really tried controlling her feelings. But now she will.
It wouldn't really be fair for her to force Lena to love her as much as it wasn't fair for Lena to ask her that night to stop loving her. She has to try for the sake of their friendship. But most importantly, Kara has to try for herself. Kara knew she has to put some boundaries. She knew that taking Lena back in her life, there has to be some lines drawn, some lines not to cross. As much as she loves Lena, she must love herself too not to go back to that whole she managed to drag herself out.
This was a start.