Chapter 5
The door fully opens and there she is, face to face with Kara Danvers.
"Kara" Lena whispers, forgetting what she was actually about to say. After everything, she didn't actually think Kara would open the door. But she tried anyways. Kara didn't move or invite her in. Lena opens her mouth as she was about to say something. She stops and looks at Kara from head to toe. The blonde just stood there, wearing a unicorn onesie, her hair up in a bun. She stops herself from smiling at the sight of Kara.
If the circumstances were different Lena would have teased her about it. Only Kara, who by the way is an adult, would wear a unicorn onesie to sleep like a five year old. Lena tries to collect her thoughts and not focus on the unicorn onesie that Kara is wearing.
"What?" Kara asks, barely whispering as she sighs. It was really late and Kara was tired. She really had no energy for the fight that was about to occur. She just really wants to get it over with.
But she couldn't be more wrong. Lena isn't here to fight. Quite the opposite in fact. She is here to apologize.
"Kara... I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry Kara. I was so stupid. I thought.. I thought you abandoned me and you had every right to after... After i said all those things and pushed you away. But youu... You.. Mike said... He told me what happened. After everything, you still took care of me. And oh god that night, it wasn't just a dream and I was in your arms and you took care of me Kara.. But why? Why didn-" Kara cuts her off.
"-why? You called me drunk Lena. For the first time after..." Kara is still not moving. She didn't want to invite Lena in. She shakes her head instead.
"I didn't want you to know. It would not have changed anything."
"It would have, Kara. It would have-"
"Have what? It would have made you talk to me? It would have made you regret everything you've just probably regretted for what? Like 10? 15 minutes ago?" Kara scoffs. She just couldn't hear more of this. This is really draining her emotionally.
"No!! no kara. No, no!" Lena says as she tries to wipe her tears away.
"I know I didn't talk to you right away. I know I didn't pick up the phone, okay. And i'm really sorry but I regretted what I said the moment I walked out of your apartment that night, Kara. I wanted to take it back the moment it left my mouth. But it was too late. And a while ago in the bar, I was drunk and I saw you with L... I mean I saw you and I know it wasn't an excuse. And Okay, i really acted like a... Like a bitch. And I have no excuse for that. And god, Kara. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I know I have a lot to apologize for. And no apology in this world would probably suffice but I'm really sorry Karaaa. Oh god, im so so stupid! You didn't even telll me you took care of me. You took care of me when you were still mad at me. You still did. And you didn't even tell me and I didn't even thank you and I hurt you even more... I, I, I'm sorrry Kara. I really am. I'm sorry for accusing you of not being there when you always are. Im sorry for saying shitty things. Im sorry for hurting you Kara. Im sorry for causing you pain. Im sorry for taking damn too long to apologize. I know i've said a lot of sorries now but i, i just really am sorry for everything, karaaaa. Pleaase..."
Lena was looking at Kara with those sad teary green eyes. More than 10 years of beings bestfriends, Kara and Lena know each other too well by now. And Kara knew Lena was really nervous. She knows it took a lot for Lena to come here, having the highest pride anyone Kara has ever known. So She knows how Sorry Lena really is. How she regrets everything. She knows how it hurts Lena knowing what she had said to Kara affected her. Kara knows it hurt Lena hurting her. But still, it wasn't enough.
Kara thought all she wanted was for Lena to finally apologize. But a flicker of emotion she couldn't quite understand rush through her. She knows everything Lena had just said is sincere. Genuine. But she doesn't understand why she still feels this way. This is what she wanted, isnt it? For Lena to regret what she had said. But why is she clenching her fist right now? Why does she still want to rip out her own heart? Why are tears starting to accumulate in her eyes? Kara doesn't understand this feeling. She just stood there, taking it all in, taking Lena's apology without responding.
So when Lena finally finished getting out everything she wanted to say, those sad and teary green eyes stares at her with a hopeful look as she waits for a response. For something. Anything.
But with Kara's emotions, all she got was Kara closing the door. Lena puts her hand on the door to refrain it from closing. Kara could see the shock that her reaction gave Lena. Surely, her best friend or whatever they are now didn't expect her to close the door.
Lena pushes the door open. "Kara?" She whimpers. "But.."
"But what?-"
Kara scoffs, biting her lip to stop her tears. To stop everything she's feeling right now. To stop Lena from seeing how vulnerable she actually is around her.
"-But you apologized? Huh! You can't just apologize and expect everything to be back the way they were Lena! You can't just apologize and assume that I would be like oh hey lets hug or something! You cant just apologize and expect that the consequences, that the effects of what you've said won't be there anymore! Lena, you can't just expect that there wouldn't be scars after you put a band aid on the wounds you've caused! The wounds that were still healing when you decided to put some salt in it!! You cant!! You cant, Lena!! You can't just barge in here and apologize after months of silence and expect everything to be okay, Lena!! Because news flash, Lena! They aren't!!"
And with that she slams the door. Kara practically shouted, her veins were even visible. She leans her forehead on the door, trying to calm her self down.
"I know." Lena whimpers, leaning her forehead at the other side of the door too.
"I know, Kara. And... And I'm not expecting you to forgive me. I, I just want a chance. Even the slightest bit of chance. I wouldn't give up for that chance. Karaaa, pleaseee. Just... Pleaaaaasee"
"Maybe. But not today." Kara finally lowers her voice. "I'm tired. Go home, Lena."
Kara replies, her forehead still leaning on the closed door as she puts her hands on it to regain her balance.
Kara's emotions were intense. She closes her eyes and thinks of happy thoughts. She was breathing heavily. She was just exhausted. Too exhausted. She was scared she might be having an asthma attack. She haven't had it for a long time now.
Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out
inhale Exhale Inhale Exhale
Kara rushes to her bed room and opens a drawer. She searches for her inhaler frantically. Kara puts her asthma inhaler in her mouth and pushes the button as she inhales.
Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out
Inhale Exhale Inhale Exhale
kara uses her inhale one more time. She panics more as she sees her reflection in the mirror with that Unicorn Onesie
oh gosh. Was I wearing this?
Breathe in Breathe out Breathe in Breathe out