Aren't You Tired?

Kara had watched Lena's heart get broken a thousand times by Veronica Sinclair. For years, she had watched Lena breakdown and cry just because of her. She had witnessed how much Lena put Veronica above all else. Above Kara. For years, Kara had witnessed Lena suffer, how her life kept shattering to million pieces, everything turning into a constant cycle. It was hard to believe that anyone could survive that kind of emotional stress for so long. But Lena did. 

And each and every time, Kara was there to pick up the pieces and put them back together. Each and every time, Kara's shoulders were there for Lena to cry on, her ears, always there to listen. Each and every time, Kara's home was there for safe haven and her heart, giving all the Love Veronica couldn't be able to give to Lena, the love that Lena deserved. Every step of the way, Kara was there. Always. no matter what the circumstances are.

And every time, she had to watch Lena come crawling after Veronica Sinclair. It didn't matter how many times Veronica hurt Lena. At the end of the day, Kara had to see the person she loves the most forgive someone who kept causing her pain.

Kara has kept her mouth shut for years. She had no right to tell Lena what to do. So she took it all in, silently hurting at the sidelines every time Lena got hurt and every time she chose Veronica Sinclair. She has kept herself from crossing the boundaries because having Lena in her life was more than enough. Being just an option and not a priority, being just the second, hurt like hell but for Kara, it was worth it. Lena needed her as a friend and she is always going to be what Lena needs her to be no matter how much it hurt.

But Kara is tired. Angry. They've been doing this cycle for so many years already. If Lena hasn't had enough of Veronica Sinclair, she has. Kara's had enough.

So when Lena knocks on her door at 2 in the morning, she decides this will be the last time she does it because of Veronica Sinclair.

Kara opens the door. Lena's appearance wasn't really a shock. She was a mess. She always is when Veronica and her fight. She has already expected this.

Kara sighs looking at Lena whose eyes are still puffy from crying. Lena immediately hugs Kara as her tears are slowly starting to fall again. Kara bites her lips to stop herself from crying too. Lena hurting hurts her too.

"Come here." Kara kisses Lena's head and pulls her onto the couch before she gets the ice cream from the fridge.

"I got your favorite here. Some Mint - Pistachio ice cream" Kara smiles sadly as she hands Lena a box of tissue and a spoon. She curls up beside her on the couch, letting Lena rest her head on her shoulders.

"Oh Kara..." Lena sobs. "She's been ignoring me for days. And Maggie told me she saw Veronica with a man. She was kissing him."

Kara could feel Lena's pain. It wasn't technically cheating because they were never officially together. Not once. Kara doesn't even know what to call them. As years pass by, her hatred towards Veronica just grows and grows. Not because She has the person Kara loves the most wrapped up around her finger but because she takes Lena for granted when she should have given Lena the world.

"Hey sweetie. You know what I think about this. We've been here in the exact same situation just last month." Kara sighs as she picks up a tissue and wipes Lena's tears, her hand soothing Lena's back to comfort her.

"I, I, I know-" Lena was now panting as she lets out broken cries. Her nose is red and her eyes are sore. It was heartbreaking to witness, really.

"-bu,but she said she'll change. And now this happened. I asked her wha, what would she fefeel if I do what she did. Shee shee totold me it's not a big deal and she doesn't really care"

"Hey hey." Kara cups Lena's cheeks and looks at those green eyes. "It's her loss, alright? She doesn't realize what she's missing. You have to stop this, Lena. Enough is enough. You said it yourself last month, you know what to do. You know you have to leave her."

"I know. I kno knoww. I will, Kara. I promise. I won't take this kind of treatment anymore. I'll be strong enough to leave her this time. I swear."

Kara wipes Lena's tears at the corner of her eyes and tucks Lena's messy hair behind her ear. "We're gonna eat this ice cream and enjoy ourselves. tomorrow, we'll leave town and have the road trip of our lives, alright?"

"But you have work"

Kara waves her hand off. "Psh. Snapper can take it!"

Lena gives Kara a big grin and hugs her tightly. Kara feels Lena's tears falling on her shoulders.

"Tha thank you Kara. I wouldn't know what to do without you"

They happily devour two pints of Ben n Jerry's ice cream and some chips as they watch Lion King. It was something Lena and Kara never outgrew. Their love for good ol fashioned disney films is simply part of their existence.

Lena's phone vibrates. She checks it only to see 2 new messages.

Veronica Sinclair ❤️
Lena, where are you? Look, i'm really sorry, okay. It was Nothing. The kiss meant nothing. I just really needed to close the business deal with him. It's just work Lena. Not a big deal. Don't make a fuss out of it. I promise, it won't happen again. I won't let work come between us. Don't you love me anymore? After everything, you're just gonna leave me like that? I'm sorry. I love you! Come home right now. I'll wait for you.

Veronica Sinclair ❤️
Oh by the wait, we have to go to gala tomorrow. It wouldn't really look good on both of us if we don't come together. Wr need good press, dear. Come home now!

Lena sits up straight and outs the ice cream down on the table. "I uh. I have to go, Kara"

Kara looks at her disbelievingly. The brightness on Lena's phone catches her attention. She grabs it and reads the message.

"Kar-"

"Stop!" Kara stands.

"Please Kara. She wants me back. She needs m-"

"Unbelievable Lena!" She twitches her mouth in dismay. She motions the phone up in the air.

"This? You're goin back to her because of this?! Cant you see, she's using you!! Goddamit! For someone who's supposed to be all smart and powerful, being the youngest CEO, you are really stupid Lena!!" Kara throws the phone on the couch, landing just few inches beside where Lena's sitting.

"What happened to i promise i'll be strong enough to leave her?! It hasn't even been a day since you said it!-"

"Stop it!" Lena was practically begging, tears once again falling from her eyes.

"-Aren't you tired Lena?! Aren't you tired forcing yourself to someone who doesn't love you!!! Oh why am i not surprised?! dammit, Open your eyes!"

Kara's words were a reality check to Lena. It was a slap on the face. She knows how true they were but she refuses to let it sink in. She refuses to believe that... She spent years just letting her own heart break.

Lena stands, clenching her fists. Her eyes widens at what Kara said. It definitely hit a nerve. She stops crying, her pain now replaced by rage.

"Am I not tired Forcing myself to someone who doesn't love me?" Lena walks closer to Kara, now barely 2 feet away from each other. Lena pauses and makes sure she's looking at Kara's eyes. "AREN'T YOU? Aren't you tired of loving me?!?!!"

Lena sees the shock in Kara's eyes. She sees Kara's pain too. But it was now too late to take back what she said.

"I'm not blind, Kara. I've noticed how you feel. But I LOVE HER! I LOVE VERONICA, Kara!! And she loves me!!!!! IS IT REALLY THAT HARD FOR YOU TO SEE ME HAPPY?! The problem is your feelings, Kara. They should have been gone a long time ago!"

And for the first time Kara's world shatters in to a million pieces. For years, she has endured the pain but not to this point. It has never reached this point. She never should have believed Lena's words, promising to be strong enough. After all, that's all Kara wanted, for Lena to be strong and independent, to love herself enough to know her worth, to never settle for anything less because truth be told, Lena deserves nothing but the best life has to offer.

Lena's words were like knives thrusting deeper to her heart, stabbing and killing her. Her words made her remember all those times Lena wasn't able to go with her and their friends back in highschool since Veronica Sinclair didn't want her to. She remembers those times Lena lied straight to their faces to make up a crappy excuse why she avoided them. Kara remembers those times when they already had initially planned something but Lena had to cancel since Veronica Sinclair called her. She remembers that time when Lena had to give up her education in Harvard because Veronica wanted her to transfer in MIT with her. Lena's words burns through her aching heart as she remembers all those times how Lena had always chosen Veronica, those times how Lena agreed to whatever Veronica said, no questions asked, all those times Lena had to sacrifice her hopes and dreams for that woman who only thinks about herself!

Kara's tears slowly fall from her eyes, her voice breaking.

"It didn't matter, Lena. If you felt the same way or not. You tell me that she loves you?" Kara chuckles sarcastically.

"I had to watch you drown yourself in alcohol, crying yourself out. I had to pull your hair up as you vomit everything you had the previous night! I had to watch you lose Lcorp and rebuild it again from scratch! I had to watch you throwaway a whole year in college when you were so heartbroken! Dammit, I had a monthly supply of ice cream in my fridge! I had to bring you to a boxing gym and a shooting range to let all your pain and anger out!! I had watched you throw away your future and fix it up!! I had to watch your laughter turn into tears! I had to watch you fall apart from time to time, Lena!" Kara was now basically shouting, letting it all out.

"ALL THOSE THINGS I HAD TO WITNESS BECAUSE OF WHAT.... Because of her, Lena! Because of her!! But never have I ever overstepped. Never have I Ever taken advantage of your situation! All I ever did was be what you needed me to be! And now...." Kara shakes her head in disbelief.

"now... How dare you accuse me of not wanting you to be happy when that's all I ever wanted!"

"Kara.." Lena starts to speak.

"No! You want my feelings gone, Lena? Well, consider it gone!!! You badly want to get out of this apartment, Fine! then get out!! Leave!"

Lena blinks. she doesn't say a word. She knows her and Kara's emotions are taking control of this conversation and it's no use talking until they've both calmed down anyways. She heads towards the door. She pauses as if contemplating to stay or not. She still decides to leave but not before she hears Kara's last words.

"Do me a favor, and get out of my life as well " Kara whimpers, tears falling. "The next time she hurt you.... find yourself another best friend to cry on"

This time there was no hint of anger in Kara's voice. It was now fueled with pure sadness, grief and pain. Anyone who hears how she said those words would know it broke her heart into pieces.

Lena hears it, tears falling. She sighs and walks out of Kara's apartment, out of Kara's life. Despite the reluctance...

Lena still chooses to leave nonetheless.

Kara collapses on the floor as she watched her world walk out of her life. She can literally feel her heart getting ripped out from her insides. She puts her clenched fist on top of her heart. She tries to soothe it as if it would somehow make her feel better. It doesn't. She lies down on the floor, her fist still on top of her heart. She just stays there all night, laying still, unable to move.

Kara closes her eyes and weeps and mourns. She mourns for what she had just lost. She weeps for that newly formed void in her heart, the feeling of emptiness that she knows nothing and no once could ever fill. 

Kara weeps.

And Kara mourns.