I'm Fine (no, i'm not)
The drive home was a blur, Nonon was trying to think of a way she was going to get through four hours of helping Satuski get ready for her date with… Huh, never got the person's name from Satsuki. Whoever it was, Nonon sure hoped they understood how lucky they were to date her Satsuki. She’s not yours Nonon, she’s not anyones, she’s her own person, maybe that’s why you don’t get to date her, cause you think you own her. “No, I don’t think that… I’m just angry.”
Nonon realized what she was doing and hit her head with the palm of her hand. “Great, arguing with the voices in my head, this whole thing is driving me crazy.” Nonon unlocked her door and walked into her apartment. “I just have to get through this one time, and she shouldn’t need me to do it again” Nonon knew the odds of her statement being true were not good, as Satsuki’s closest friend, she was the one who was most likely to be asked for help.
Nonon looked at the clock and saw it read about noon, which means she had about three hours before she was expected to be at Satsuki’s apartment. “Well, first, I better pick out an outfit to serve as an example for casual date attire.” Nonon walked to her bedroom and then to her closet. It’s a good thing she had some time on her hands, cause she had a lot of clothes to go through.
Nonon decided on a blank red shirt, one of her favorite pink short jackets, and a knee height black skirt with matching leggings. Looking up at the clock, she was surprised that it had taken her almost an entire hour to pick the outfit out. Oh my, that took longer than I had hoped, oh well, I want to look good for Satsuki. Nonon’s cheeks became a slight red at that thought. No, this isn’t for me, this is for Satsuki, so she knows what to wear… doesn’t hurt if she likes it though.
Nonon’s thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing. Looking at the caller ID Nonon rolled her eyes and answered. “What are you calling me for, transfer student.” Nonon could hear a slight sigh almost immediately after her question.
“If you must know pint sized, I’m calling to make sure my sis has a good time tonight.” Ryuko’s voice carried a hint of warning in it’s tone. “What the hell do you mean, wait, did Satsuki tell you i’m helping her pick out her outfit for her date tonight? You wouldn't happen to know the name of this mystery person would you?” Nonon’s curiosity for the identity of the person was only matched by her confusion. Why would Matoi be calling me to make sure her sister had a good time? It's not like I'm the one- Nonon’s thoughts were interrupted before she could finish that thought. “What do you mean myst…… oh, ooooooh, okay, that makes more sense now”
If Nonon wasn’t confused by the previous question, that last statement sure did the job. “What are you on about over there? What makes sense?” Ryuko’s voice changed immediately. “Oh, um… don’t worry about that, and yeah, yeah Satsuki told me, I was just calling to make sure you don’t make her dress like a clown for her first date, and no I don’t know her name”
The change in tone made it hard for Nonon to believe Ryuko, first she was all serious with a minor warning in her voice. Now she was cracking jokes and acting like she didn’t know anything. But of course, this was all thrown from the forefront of her mind by the admission that Satsuki’s date was a woman. “S-She?, So you do know something about Satsuki’s date.” Ryuko let out a groan, clearly she was hoping Nonon didn’t catch that part.
“Well…. um..., yeah I know a little but um…..” Ryuko paused for a few seconds and then her voice popped back up. “Satsuki made me promise not to tell anyone.” Ryuko then spoke so fast Nonon almost didn’t understand her. “Look I’ve already said too much, I'm gonna hang up before I spill any more info, just make sure she’s dressed properly, Nonon.” the dial tone followed immediately after Ryuko stopped talking.
What the hell was that all about. First Ryuko is acting like an overprotective sibling. Then she almost seemed confused. Then the turn to she’s all joking and acting dumb. Finally she hangs up without so much as a snooty remark. Nonon and Ryuko weren’t the closest of friends, but Nonon liked to think she had a pretty good understanding of how Ryuko acted towards her.
Nonon rubbed the bridge of her nose with her fingers. “I don’t have the patience to deal with her nonsense” Looking at the clock, she noticed that the phone call had apparently taken half an hour. “I need to hurry if i’m going to get there on time” Nonon laid the clothes she had chosen on the bed in the order she wanted to put them on and walked into the bathroom for her shower.
Stepping out of the shower Nonon felt more tense than before she stepped in. She looked at herself in the mirror as she dried off and sighed. “You just have to go over there and give her some advice, look at a few of her choices in clothes, and pick one that would best work for a casual date, simple.” If only you believed that, then maybe it would be. Nonon groaned and walked into her bedroom with a towel wrapped around her.
Nonon looked at the clock, her shower had taken her 45 minutes, fast for her. Normally she’d take at least twice that long. The quick shower left 45 minutes to get ready and to get to Satsuki’s apartment. She’d definitely be a little late, but Satsuki did say not to worry about being punctual.
Satsuki, the perfect woman. For the first time today Nonon found herself agreeing with the little voice in her head. Satsuki was the perfect woman. Satsuki had perfect looks that sent Nonon’s heart pounding when they hung out. Satsuki had the perfect personality that made Nonon never want to leave her side. Satsuki had the perfect control over her emotions, so good that Nonon had only ever seen her crack twice,
The first time was shortly after Satsuki had hit puberty, when her mother Ragyo had begun her… Purification rituals…. as Ragyo had called them. The second time was a year after graduation, Satsuki had been working practically day and night to try and keep REVOCS from being shut down. In the end it worked, REVOCS redeemed itself and the company was once again the world's largest clothes company, but the work had worn down on Satsuki so much that she eventually snapped. Nonon remembered the day vividly.
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“You’ve reached Nonon Jakuzure’s answering machine, if you’re hearing this then I couldn’t get to the phone right away and i’ll call you back at the earliest possible time, leave your name, number, and message at the beep.” This was followed by a long high pitched beep. Nonon was close to her Apartment phone but was eating some food and didn’t feel like answering the phone at the time. “Hey… Nonon, it’s Satsuki, I really need to talk to someone, and you were the first person to come to mind-” The shaky, horse voice that rung through the machines speaker was enough for Nonon to practically throw her food onto her coffee table and run to the phone.
“Hey Satsuki, are you okay? You sound like you’ve been… crying.” Nonon’s voice was filled with concern. “Can I come over… I don’t want to go to my apartment right now.” Nonon was shocked by the request but knew she couldn’t refuse, not with how Satsuki sounded just over the phone. “Of course you can come over, should I put some tea on?” Nonon hoped the offer of tea would bring some life back to the voice of the woman she cared so much for. “That would be nice actually” Nonon sighed in relief. “Okay, It should be about ready when you get here Satsuki, a-are you okay?” Nonon doubted she’d get an answer. Satsuki didn’t even acknowledge the question the first time.
“N-no, i’m not”
Nonon practically dropped the phone in shock. Satsuki sounded so weak. Nonon knew something was really wrong. “Okay, don’t you worry. I’m here for you Satsuki. As soon as you get here you can let it all out” Nonon tried her hardest to sound strong for Satsuki. There was only silence on the other end of the line for two full minutes. “Okay” Satsuki hung up the phone after that.
Nonon didn’t even hesitate to walk to the kitchen and start working on the tea. When Satsuki arrived the tea just needed to be put in a cup. Nonon opened the door after just one knock and walked Satsuki to the couch and sat her down and walked away to get the tea ready. Nonon gave the tea to Satsuki in a teacup that looked a lot like the ones used back at the academy.
Satsuki took a few sips of the tea in silence before she set the cup onto the wooden coffee table and turned to Nonon. “Nonon... “ That was all that left Satsuki’s lips before Nonon pulled her into a tight hug. “Let it out, don’t worry about looking weak, you could never look weak in my eyes Satsuki” Nonon gently rubbed Sasuki’s back as she spoke.
Three seconds, that’s all it took for Satsuki to let out all the emotions she’d clearly been holding deep down. Ten minutes, that’s how long it took for Satsuki’s tear ducts to completely dry out. Thirty minutes, that’s how long after Satsuki’s tears had run out that she continued to cry. Two hours, that’s how long Nonon and Satsuki stayed like that in silence.
After that, Satsuki delved into all the things, both big and little, that had built up since graduation that caused her breakdown. Nonon stayed silent throughout the whole thing unless she was asked a question or she needed to reassure Satsuki that she didn’t mind listening. The thought ran through Nonon’s head more than once that it was a perfect opportunity to admit her feelings to Satsuki.
She didn’t though, at the time she couldn’t have known if Satsuki even swung that way. More importantly, Nonon felt that admitting her feelings then would have been taking advantage of Satsuki’s vulnerability. So she kept them to herself and just comforted Satsuki until she felt good enough to go home.
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Nonon smiled at the memory and looked up and saw that while she had been reminiscing, she had gotten fully dressed and even had her hair the way she liked. Only thing she still needed to do was put her makeup on. Looking at the clock she was surprised to see that she had only taken ten minutes. So she got to work putting on some light makeup. Which only took her three minutes.
Nonon grabbed her phone, put it in her purse, and walked towards her front door. She grabbed her keys on her way out and locked her apartment up. Nonon was nervous but not as much as she had been when she got out of the shower. She couldn’t quite put her finger on why her nerves had calmed down, but Nonon was grateful for it as the elevator doors closed and she began descending.