FORTY-FIVE
"Theungwan?" Tawag ni Rosie sa kasama niyang tumambay sa kama.
"Hmm?" Sagot ni Wendy. Nag-ayos ng salamin, hinawi ang bangs na nakaharang sa mata.
"Where do you think we'd be in twenty years?" Tanong ni Rosie.
Sinara ni Wendy ang notebook na pinagsusulatan ng mga sagot sa Trigonometry homework. Nagkibit-balikat. "We'd be in our thirties by then, Rothie. Out of this current High School hell, out of College hell, probs working already." Sagot niya.
Hininaan ni Rosie ang TV. Nag-indian sit na paharap kay Wendy na gumaya. "Duh. What I meant is what do you think we'd be up to by then? Like, personally ya know?"
"Bakit mo tinatanong?"
"It's for a stupid English essay thing."
"Hmmm.."
"So ano nga?"
Tinanggal ni Wendy ang glasses tapos nagkamot ng mata. "Ewan. Homework mo yan eh. Aren't you supposed to be thinking of what YOU would be doing in twenty years instead of what WE would be doing?"
Kibit-balikat si Rosie. Malawak ang ngiti, sinundot ang ilong ni Wendy. "I know that! Pero you're my bestfriend, Theungwan. Wherever you are, I'm mostly likely also there."
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"Where'd you go?" Tanong ni Rosie kay Wendy.
Sumubo lang ng soup ang kausap niya. "Somewhere." Mahinang sagot.
"Weird mo."
Tumitig si Wendy sa ice cream sundae ni Rosie. Nag-twitch ang kaliwang mata.
"Hoy." Sabi ni Rosie. Tinuro ng kutsara si Wendy. "You didn't put the ring in this sundae did you? Kasi ngl I've probs swallowed it already..legit wasn't paying attention to what I was putting in my mouth."
Natatawang umiling si Wendy. "I didn't put the ring in there, Rosie. The others have successfully scared me out of proposing with anything related to food." Paliwanag niya.
"Good. Kasi I don't think 'waiting until I shit out the engagement ring' would the most romantic proposal idea."
Kinuha ni Wendy ang isang kamay ni Rosie para mahalikan. "I..love you so." Sabi niya sa palad ng girlfriend.
"Theungwan. I love you too." Sagot ni Rosie Nakangiti. Sumubo na ulit ng ice cream.
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"I don't think this is a good idea, Rosie." Kabadong sabi ni Wendy.
Umiling lang si Rosie. Kita ang ngiti at kislap ng mata kahit nakasuot ng full helmet. "We'll be fine, Theungwan." Sabi niya.
Tumingin si Wendy sa paligid. Sa magkabilang dulo ng kinalalagyan nilang tulay, sa mga bundok na puro halaman. Sa baba. Kung saan may payapang ilog na magsisilbing landing site nila ng bestfriend niyang nanghila sa bungee jumping adventure na kasalukuyang ikinakabog ng dibdib niya.
"Rothie..I'm seriously gonna pass out." Sabi niya.
"Pssh. You're fine, Wendy."
"Yeh..no."
Tumawa si Rosie. Mabilis na inakbayan si Wendy. "Ganto nalang. Chill chill muna tayo dito. Take in the view and stuff."
"Hmm.."
"And then..you tell me when you're ready to jump okay?"
"Mauna ka na."
"Nope. I'm only jumping when you are."
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"As much as I want him to be with me always.." Sabi ni Rosie. Nagkakalikot nanaman ng radyo sa kotse. "I think I have to accept that I should send him to doggy daycare for proper training." Nakasimangot na nag-settle sa isang station na nagpe-play ng 90s music.
Natawa si Wendy. "I'm gonna miss coming home to a messy condo." Biro niya.
Pinalo siya ni Rosie sa balikat. "Lam mo ikaw? Bakit ganyan ka sa anak natin?"
"Hank's got an endless supply of energy. Holyshit. Anak mo yun, not mine."
"Ganun talaga. Means he's happy where he is. Also, sabi mo yan ha! Wag mo ike-claim yun in the future once he does something hella cute, pakyu ka."
Natahimik silang dalawa. Tuloy lang sa biyahe pauwi.
"We're not dropping by the overlook?" Tanong ni Rosie.
"Gusto mo ba?" Sagot ni Wendy.
"It's Friday."
"Overlook it is then."
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"We shouldn't be doing this, Rosie." Bulong ni Wendy.
Tuloy lang sila sa halikan.
"Yeah..probably." Sabi ni Rosie. "Clothes. Take off my clothes. Yours too."
Sumunod si Wendy sa request. "Ohmygod we're really going for it. Isn't this your first time?"
Niyakap lang siya ni Rosie. Hinila para makahiga siya ng nakapatong sa kanya si Wendy. "I want to not care. Can we not care?"
"First time's a big deal." Bumaba na ang halik ni Wendy sa leeg ni Rosie.
Kinuha lang ng pinapatungan ang isa niyang kamay. Nilagay sa dibdib nitong taas-baba na sa hingal na hindi nila alam kung bakit pareho nilang nae-experience.
Nagtinginan sila. Dahan-dahan na ibinaba ni Rosie ang kamay ni Wendy papunta sa pagitan ng hita niya. "It's yours, Seungwan. Take it."
"You sure?"
"No one better than my bestfriend?"
"That sounded like a question. I just don't want us to regret any of this, you have someone who can do all this in the future."
"I'd rather it's you." Sagot ni Rosie. Tinulungan ng kumilos ang kamay ni Wendy.
"Holyshiiiiiiiiit." Sabi ni Wendy.
Hinatak ulit ni Rosie ang mukha ng nakapatong. Hinalikan niya. Malalim. Pumapatid sa restraint ni Wendy ang bawat pass ng dila sa loob ng bibig niya. "Take. Me." Utos ni Rosie.
"If you insist.."
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Pinapanuod nila ang isang pamilya na nakatambay sa pinuntahang 7-11. Isang set ng parents, isang toddler, isang baby na nagba-babble sa kinalalagyang stroller.
Dumukot si Rosie ng ilang chichirya mula sa shelf. Kinalabit si Wendy. "Cutie nung children." Bulong niya.
"Yeh." Sabi ni Wendy.
Lumipat sila ng aisle papunta sa refrigerators. Nagsimulang mag-scan si Wendy ng matinong drinks.
"You ever want to have any kids?" Tanong ni Rosie na nagbukas ng isang cooler na may ice cream.
"Hmm?"
"Kids kako..yay or nay?"
"Depends on who I'm having them with."
"Hmm.."
"Shempre ikaw yun."
"Magto-toyo na sana ako kaso bawi agad."
"You know it."
Lumapit na si Wendy kay Rosie. Nakisilip sa cooler, mabilisang backhug sa gitna ng 7-11. "Trip mong ice cream?"
"Thinking of getting a huge tub kasi wala lang." Sagot ni Rosie. Dumukot ng isang pint ng cookies and cream flavor, sinara ang cooler.
Bumalik sila sa harap ng actual refrigerators. Lumingon ulit si Rosie sa pamilya na una nilang napansin. Nagtatawanan kasi.
"I think..two kids should be enough?" Sabi ni Rosie. Dumukot ng tig-dalawang cans ng beer, at chilled coffee.
In-offer ni Wendy ang hawak na basket para paglagyan. "Kinda want four." Comment niya.
"I'll take you up on that deal if you agree na ikaw ang magbubuntis."
"Can we park this conversation until after we're married?"
Natawa si Rosie. "Yeh. Oo nga naman. Di ka pa nga nakakapag-propose eto na agad usapan."
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"Hey..uhmm..good morning?"
"Good morning, Rosie."
Tahimik silang kumain ng breakfast. Awkward. Tahimik din na nag-kanya kanyang hugas ng pinagkainan.
"Uhh..I'm flying back home today." Balita ni Wendy.
Halatang nagulat ang kausap. "Thought you have an extra week?" Sabi ni Rosie.
Kamot-batok si Wendy. "I don't think it's right if I stick around.." Bulong niya.
"Hmm.."
"Uhh..sorry."
"You're not going to change your mind about breaking up are you?"
"I can't."
"I figured." Bumuntong-hininga nalang si Rosie. "Can you at least promise me that you're going to be fucking fantastic at whatever it is you're going to do? Para worth it naman kahit papano yung sakit." Request niya.
Tumabi si Wendy ng upo sa bestfriend. Suminghot. Nagpigil ng iyak. "I promise, Rosie. And..I'm sorry this has to hurt."
"Meh. Pampalubag-loob nalang yung alam ko na masakit din sayo."
"I'll be better for you. And when I am..babalikan kita. If you'd have me..babalikan kita."
"That's not as simple as, like, stating the sky is blue. You could be right then, but the sky is also gray, pink, purple, and orange sometimes. Things can happen in between, Seungwan."
"I know..things can happen..but..that's my end goal. I'll be worth it for you when the time comes."
"I'm not going to wait. Because doing that would be stupid and I made a promise to myself after the first heartbreak that I won't ever keep myself stuck on one person ever again."
"You're not obligated to wait."
"Yeah. Coz a breakup is a breakup. Just coz you said you said you'd do all that so you can come back better..doesn't mean you still didn't break up with me. You could have worked on being better without asking for that break."
"Hmm.."
Bumuntong-hininga ulit si Rosie. Tumayo. "But then again..you're still my bestfriend." Naglahad ng kamay kay Wendy. "I guess I'm just always going to end up stuck with you anyway."
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"Isn't it funny that we're now here together? Like..at this point. After all the trouble, and the obstacles in our way.." Bulong ni Wendy. Tamang langhap ng fresh air na dala ng tinatambayan nila.
"I guess." Sabi ni Rosie. "What's with the sentiment?"
"Wala lang. Just a random thought."
"Hmm.."
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"You're good at this, Seungwan. You might not feel like you are, because you see other people's talents over your own, but you're good at this. I swear it. Cooking is natural for you."
"Sure?"
"Yeah mahn. I mean..just coz you broke up with me doesn't mean I can't encourage you on your chef agenda anymore.."
"I'm sorry, Rosie."
"Don't be. Over time..I understood why you have to do it. It's easier to love if you also love yourself."
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"Do you want to maybe dance with me? Just this once." Tanong ni Wendy.
"You going to propose in the middle of it?" Biro ni Rosie.
"Nope. I just feel like dancing with you."
"Mhmm.."
Sumama naman si Rosie. Ilang minuto ang pinalipas nila na ganun lang ang ginagawa. Slow dance na walang tugtog kundi yung mga huni ng ibon at yung ihip ng hangin sa paligid.
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Lumingap si Wendy sa paligid ng condo na kinalalagyan. May ilang kahon na nakakalat at may labels ng kung ano ang mga laman, ilang furnitures na disassembled.
"I don't have shit in my fridge other than this canned coffee I bought from the Mini Stop downstairs." Sabi ni Rosie. Tumabi na kay Wendy ng salampak sa floor dahil walang sofa.
"Keri na." Sabi ni Wendy. Tinanggap ang kape na alok ni Rosie.
"Thanks for dropping by and helping me with all the unpacking shit, Theungwan."
"Don't worry about it. I think it's cool that I'm one of the first people you hang out with again after coming back."
"Why wouldn't you be one of the first I hang out with?"
"Meh.."
Uminom nalang ng kape si Rosie.
"Ongapala." Sabi ni Wendy. "What's your wifi password?"
"It's your name, Seungwan. A reminder of my favorite person in the whole entire world."
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"Hey..Seungwan." Bulong ni Rosie pagkaraan siyang i-twirl at saluhin ng yakap ni Wendy.
"Hmm?"
"Please don't break up with me again.."
"It won't happen again, Rosie. Not now..not ever. I'm going to marry you aren't I? I already said yes when you asked."
"Just making sure."
"Yeah..I get it."
"Di mo pa binabalik yung tanong eh."
"Saglit lang..Ibabalik ko yung tanong pero..saglit lang.."
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"Can I borrow Song One?" Tanong ni Rosie sa kumakain habang nanunuod ng TV na si Wendy.
"Eh?" Takang sagot ni Wendy. "Na sayo na si Song Two?"
"Coding. Ayoko mag-commute."
"Hatid sundo nalang kita."
"Arte naman! Dali na!"
"Rosie..I love you..but no. You've been working late nights recently."
"So?"
"Ayokong tawagan mo ako in the middle of some godforsaken hour just to tell me na tinirik ka ng kotse ko somewhere random."
"Hmm.."
"Best to just hatid-sundo para kung matirik man..kasama mo ako."
"Shet."
"Problema mo?"
"Kinilig ako."
"You're hella weird. Lika na nga dito. Share tayo sa Chao Fan ang dami kong naluto."
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"Does it ever strike you that we're functioning better than the first two times we lived together?" Tanong ni Rosie.
"Better be better. Going to be messed up if we got worse."
"Para namang ewan eh. Seryosong tanong kasi, Wan."
Hinigpitan nalang ni Wendy ang yakap sa nakapatong sa kanya. "Always, Rosie." Sabi niya.
"Yun. Coz we did get better. And I think it's cool. Hella cool. Makes me think we're actually really ready to get married."
"You sure?"
"Yeh mehn. Why not? Been through so much bullshit already, hindi ko na kakayanin yung walang assurance."
"Hmm..is that why you asked earlier?"
"Yup. That..along with the other reasons I said when I asked."
"Amazing."
"Bagal mo eh. So nauna na akong magtanong."
"Seems legit. Parati naman ikaw yung unang tagahila."
"So nagpapahila ka lang ulit kaya nag-yes? Wow. I'm offended."
"Nah. Just saying.."
"Sure, Theungwan."
"I said yes because I can't say no, Rosie. I can't say no because I want the same things you do. I said yes..because there's no greater accomplishment than being able to say that I married my bestfriend."
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"You're the greatest treasure of my life, Rosie..and it would be an absolute honor if you agree to stick around until we're both old and wrinkly." Bulong ni Wendy.
"Is it happening already?" Pabirong sagot ni Rosie.
"Nah..I'm just thinking out loud."
"Corny naman."
"Mahal kita."
"Yieee! Mahal din kita, Wan. Set up ka ng tent? I feel like spending the night camping again."
"Whatever you want, Rosie. Whatever you want."
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"Kabado ka kaya di ka makapagtanong noh?" Asar ni Rosie.
Nakatambay na sila sa tent. Naiilawan ng maliit na mood lamp na dala ni Wendy, nanunuod ng 'Grave of the Fireflies' gamit ang projector.
"Nahalata mo na?" Sagot ni Wendy.
"Para kang tanga."
"Yeh..people have been telling me that all day."
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"Psst."
"What, Rosie?"
"Wanna have sex?"
Umurong ang lahat ng luha ni Wendy. "Wh-what?" Tanong niya.
"Figured you need to chill."
"You came to that conclusion while we're watching the absolute saddest movie I've ever fucking had the displeasure of seeing..why?" Deadpan na sagot ni Wendy.
Kibit-balikat si Rosie. "Figured you need to chill." Ulit niya.
"Ohmygod. The current mood is so far from the mood required for that."
Naghubad ng t-shirt ang kausap ni Wendy. Taas ng kilay pagkatapos makita ang hindi napigilang pagbaba ng tingin ni Wendy. "Sure ka?" Pang-asar na banat.
"Honestly? What you did just made me more tense. Like..if I was planning to propose or whatever, I'll end up forgetting how, ya know?"
Napalunok si Wendy ng i-straddle siya ng kausap. Napalunok pa ulit ng magsimulang mag-grind. "Hoy. Umayos ka. Holyshit, Rosie."
"Dali na." Aya ni Rosie. "After all this, pustahan tayo hindi ka na tense?"
"There's a movie we're watching." Wala sa sariling yumakap si Wendy. Nagsimula ng humalik sa leeg ni Rosie, akyat-baba ang hagod ng kamay sa likod.
"Thought you don't like the movie?" Comment ni Rosie. Ginabay ang halik ni Wendy pababa sa dibdib.
"It's super sad."
"Yeah it is. So turn it off..and then turn me on."
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"Don't stop.." Bulong ni Rosie. Tinukod ang mga kamay sa magkabilang side ng ulo ni Wendy "Don't..fucking..stop..I'm going to cum.."
Tumitig lang si Wendy sa itsura ng nasa ibabaw niya. Pawisan, nakakurtina ang buhok sa paligid niya, hingal, sabay sa galaw ng kamay niya.
"Holyshit." Bulong ni Wendy. "Ohmygod."
"Yup..so..close."
"Rosie..holyshit."
Nangyari ang dapat mangyari.
"OHFUCK!" Sigaw ni Rosie.
Tumitig lang ng tumitig si Wendy. Di padin tumitigil ang kamay. Pinanuod ang isang butil ng pawis na bumiyahe mula sa leeg ng nasa ibabaw niya pababa sa gitna ng dibdib, pinakinggan ang ungol na sinigaw sa langit.
"Rosie..marry me. Ohmygod. Please will you marry me?" Sambit niya. Di na napigilan, burado na ang lahat ng kaba. Bahagyang natawa dahil naisip na ang unusual ng atmosphere para sa ganung klaseng tanungan.
"YESSSSSSSSSS!"
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Ilang segundo lang ang pagitan ng tanong sa tuluyang pagdagan sa kanya ni Rosie.
"Fuck.." Hingal na bulong ni Rosie.
"Yeah..uhmm.." Sagot ni Wendy. "That was intents amirite?" Biro niya.
"You asked me to marry you while I was in the middle of an orgasm." Deadpan na comment ni Rosie sa leeg ni Wendy kung saan nakasiksik ang mukha niya.
Natatawa pero pinandigan nalang ni Wendy ang nangyari. "Yeah I did."
"Hmm.."
"Was that yes a yes coz orgasm or yes coz yes you'll marry me?"
"Ano sa tingin mo?"
"Could go either way. I mean..I did ask in the middle of an understandably very confusing situation."
Nag-angat ng tingin si Rosie. Kinindatan siya ni Wendy.
"Yeah I'll marry you, besfran..seems inevitable that I will anyway..I mean..after that orgasm? I'd be stupid if say no."
"Yun oh. I love you."
"I love you too, Theungwan. I love you too..pero we're SO telling people the story of my proposal instead of yours."