Chapter 12
Jennie was 25 when she realized her dream…
Jennie was standing in front of a large, stone house, admiring the end result of the project she’d been working on for almost two years now, a huge smile on her face. “Hey Jen, come join the party. You’ll have plenty of time to admire later”, a voice screamed, shaking her out of her thoughts.
“Give me a minute. I’ll be right there.” She shouted back at Jisoo, who was standing in front of a grill trying not to burn the sausages for the hot dogs. She couldn’t believe all their work had finally paid off. She’d known she had wanted to dedicate her life to this since college, seeing no better way to use her psychology degree, but still, seeing it come to life after years was like a dream come true.
She looked at the large, empty house, that would soon be filled with life. It had taken a lot of loans and support, but they’d finally manage to have enough funds. Jennie stared at her friends and colleagues sitting on plastic tables in the garden drinking beer and eating hot dogs, knowing she was beyond lucky to have such great people at her side, helping make her dream come true.
She took one last look at the colorful words that decorated the top part of the house before turning around and walking back towards the celebration, a smile on her face the whole time.
“Lisa's Home, an organization dedicated to giving a home to at-risk LGBTQ+ youth.”
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Jennie was 29 years old when she finally understood the true meaning of forever…
Jennie sat in her office long after night had fallen. The house was quiet as its inhabitants slept. She’d just had a meeting with a 12-year-old girl that had just moved in that very day. One of her most important responsibilities at Lisa's Home was checking in on the kids, making sure their mental health wasn’t declining and that they weren’t a danger to themselves. It was Jennie’s favorite part of her job, getting to connect with so many amazing kids and forming a bond with them but listening to their stories was always hard.
After years of this work, she usually wasn’t as affected as she had been when she first started, looking at the bright side of things and reminding herself that the kids were safe now. She tried to focus on making them feel at home and helping them move forward. But every now and then came someone who’s story hit close to home. This was the case with Rosé, the girl who had just arrived. It wasn’t just her story but also her personality that had reminded her so much of Lisa that it had left her feeling like her scars were fresh wounds once more.
Listening to her story, Jennie found herself thanking a God she wasn’t even sure she believed in, for giving the girl a different ending than the one Lisa had had. She’d ended up holding the girl in her arms as she cried about losing her family. Jennie had assured her that family was more than just who’s blood you carried and that they would be her family now before sending her off to bed, making a note to schedule another meeting with her soon.
That had been almost two hours ago and Jennie had not moved from her chair. Hearing the pain in the young girl’s voice as she wondered why she wasn’t enough had brought back memories of all the times she had wondered the same thing during her teenage years, hated and ignored by her peers. She just felt lucky to have had such a supportive mother that loved her unconditionally.
There were so many people that didn’t have that. The lucky ones managed to get out in time, like Rosé or the other kids living there. They were lucky to be able to move on, with only the emotional, and sometimes physical, scars and a small voice that never truly left, telling them they weren’t good enough for their families. Those were the lucky ones. Many others, including Lisa, were fated to become just another statistic, leaving the world before they really got the chance to live.
The moonlight shining through the open window broke Jennie out of her thoughts. She stood up and quietly made her way outside, trying not to wake anyone up. Behind the house laid a ladder leading to the roof. Nobody was allowed up there but Jennie sometimes went up there when she needed to think. She quickly made her way up to the rooftop, sitting on the small flat patch of roof, her quick and sure movements left no doubt that it was not her first time up there. She laid on her back, her arms beneath her head as she watched the night sky. Her mouth curved upward, a small smile forming on her face as memories rose to the forefront of her mind.
She remembered sitting on a different rooftop long ago, watching the same stars that shone down on her now, holding Lisa close. Her heart ached the way it always did when she remembered her. She wished that she could be here by her side, watching the stars instead of up there but the thought that she was watching over her brought her a sense of comfort. She remembered her words, telling her about the kind of love that lasted forever, even after death. She realized now she hadn’t truly understood that until now.
She knew that no matter how much time passed, Lisa would never be far from her thoughts.
Even now, years later, she still found herself reaching for her phone in order to call her whenever she had exciting news to share, forgetting momentarily that no one would be there to answer her call.
She saw her every time she was flicking through Netflix and a show they used to watch together appeared. Every time she went to the movies or watched the breakfast club. Every time someone teased her. Every time she saw a game of soccer. She felt her whenever she smelled lavender or vanilla or whenever she went to the beach. She could feel her presence every time she heard the song that had been playing on the radio the night she dropped her off at her house for the last time and Jennie knew with certainty that no matter how much time passed, she always would. For Lisa was a part of her and she would remain as such forever. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.