Chapter 13
Jennie was 32 years old when she made a life-changing decision…
Jennie sat at her kitchen table with her mother sitting across from her, waiting for her to speak. She had asked her mother to come over, telling her she had big news to share. It was moments like these that Jennie truly appreciated her having left their town and moved to New York a few years ago to be closer to her. It made speaking with her much easier.
She took a deep breath, trying to gain the courage to share her news. She didn’t want her to feel hurt for not telling her earlier. Honestly, she’d been thinking about it for at least two years now and she felt like she was ready now. She hadn’t wanted to tell her earlier, thinking the adoption process would be a lot longer and not wanting to get her hopes up in case things didn’t work out.
The only person she’d told was Jisoo who had been unsupportive in the beginning. She’d eventually come around but her immediate reaction had been trying to warn Jennie of the difficulties of being a single mother. She couldn’t understand why she would try to go at it alone instead of trying to meet someone first. It had led to the biggest fight they’d had in all their years of their friendship but she’d eventually apologized and promised to support her.
As much as Jennie had been bothered by Jisoo's reaction, she could understand it to a degree. She just couldn’t understand that Jennie didn’t want anyone else. She’d already found her forever love years ago. And while it had been cut short, that didn’t mean the love wasn’t still there anymore.
Most people fell in love multiple times during their lifetimes, but the love Jennie and Lisa had had, had been the kind of love that comes by only once in a lifetime, and for most people, not even that. She’d been lucky enough to find her once in a lifetime love when she was just a little girl, and while their story may have been robbed of a happy ending, it didn’t change the fact that it had happened. Or that Jennie’s feelings hadn’t changed in all these years.
Most people thought Jennie was being stubborn, refusing to move on, rejecting the idea of meeting anyone new. After all, it had already been 14 years. What they didn’t understand was that moving on didn’t necessarily mean letting go. Lisa had been the one for her and she simply couldn’t fathom ever having what she’d had with her with someone new. Nor did she want to.
Falling in love again just wasn’t in the cards for Jennie and she was quite honestly okay with that. She’d been lucky to meet the love of her life when she was just seven years old, and while the love she’d had for her had changed throughout the years, going from the innocent love one has for a best friend to the searing flames of young love and finally to knowing she wanted to spend the rest of her life with her, the love had always been there and it continued to grow and evolve even now.
Nobody had ever brought her such joy and happiness as Lisa had and as her memory continued to. Or such pain and sorrow. But Jennie knew that was just one of the possible consequences of loving someone. What mattered was that Jennie had already experienced love more intense than anything else she’d ever felt in her life. And she wasn’t interested in experiencing it with anyone else.
That didn’t mean she was miserable. While a part of her would always wonder about what could’ve been, and the anger she’d spent years keeping at bay would always be there, Jennie could honestly say that she was happy with her life. She had great friends, an amazing relationship with her mother, and she was got to meet amazing people all the time working at Lisa's Home. And now, she was ready for the next step in her life. She was ready to become a mother.
She’d already gotten through all the paperwork and legal matters and had started buying baby clothes and a crib. She’d thought that she wouldn’t be hearing back from the adoption agency for at least six months but had been elated when she’d received the call a few days earlier telling her that a teenage mother looking to give her newborn to a new family had read her file and chosen her. The social worker had told her that they still needed to finish some paperwork but that she’d be able to pick up her daughter in as soon as one months’ time,
She couldn’t be happier with the news but now she was left with having to tell her mother that she was going to be a grandma in less than a month. She’d thought she would have more time to tell her but now there was no more time. To be honest, Jennie wasn’t really nervous about her reaction. She knew she would be supportive. She just worried about her feeling hurt because Jennie hadn’t told her earlier.
“Jen I’m really starting to worry here. What’s going on”, the mother finally questioned. Jennie broke and a hasty explanation made its way out of her mouth, trying to explain her decision on keeping it from her. Her worried ranting was cut off by the expressionless look on her mother’s face.
Her worry started growing as the silence stretched on. It was shattered a few moments later though when her mom abruptly stood up from her chair and quickly walked around the table towards Jennie before pulling her into a hug. She felt a wet spot on her shoulder where her mother’s tears were falling. She ignored it as she hugged her back, feeling warm at her mother’s support.
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A few weeks later, Jennie and her mother were following Troy, a social worker, as he led them towards the room where her daughter was sleeping. It had been a few stressful weeks, her mom and Jisoo helping her get her apartment baby ready. But now, the day was finally here and Jennie couldn’t wait. They followed Troy into the room, quickly walking towards the crib where a small baby was sleeping. She looked down at her daughter, feeling an overwhelming sense of love towards the small infant.
“She looks like a Skylar. Or maybe an Alex, what do you think? her mom asked. Jennie simply shook her head at her mother’s suggestions. She knew exactly what her daughter’s name would be. She picked up her infant daughter from the crib, carefully making sure she was cradling her head correctly. The baby opened her eyes and looked up at her new mother, tiny noises making their way out of her mouth. Jennie smiled at her daughter, surprised at how much love she felt for her already. “Hello there Lisa. I’m your mother and I promise you I will always love you”, she cooed at the baby in her arms, happiness filling her heart.