Chapter 4
Jennie was 15 years old when everything changed…
Jennie rolled her eyes as she watched Lisa flirting with some sophomore football player. It was the end of the school day and she was leaning on her locker waiting for Lisa so they could go back to her place and binge watch the new season of Game of Thrones together like they always did. Lisa however seemed to be taking her time as she was leaning on her own locker, a few rows down from Jennie’s and she seemed to be in the middle of listening to a story the guy was telling her, as she kept nodding her head and laughing as he talked. They both seemed oblivious to the glares Jennie was sending them both, trying to ignore the pit of jealousy that stirred inside her when she saw Lisa laughing particularly hard at something the sophomore said.
Jennie knew that she should be used to this since her best friend had a reputation as a flirt. She had long ago come to terms with the fact that nothing would ever happen between them and that one-day Lisa would fall in love with some guy and she would always be stuck as the best friend and she was truly ok with that. After all, at least she still got to have her in her life. Or at least that’s what she told herself.
In that moment however, watching Lisa putting a hand on the Football player’s chest, the only thought running through her mind was that falling in love with your straight best friend sucked.
After realizing that Lisa still had her hand on the guy she turned around and slammed her locker door without thinking about it. The noise echoed around the emptying hallway and she internally cringed as she turned around and saw Lisa looking at her questioningly with a raised eyebrow. Jennie smiled back uncertainly and shrugged her shoulders at the taller girl’s silent question, resisting her urge to facepalm at her inability to think things through.
Her mini tantrum seemed to work though, as she watched Lisa saying goodbye to the now-disappointed football player before gathering her things from her locker and making her way over to Jennie’s. Linking her arm with the grumpy brunette, she pulled her along while she excitedly blurted out theories about who would win the iron throne. And, even though the brunette would deny it vehemently, she couldn’t help but beam at the blonde, her excitement infecting her as she forgot all about the football player.
——
That night, the two girls lied in Jennie’s bed, the only light coming from the tv which illuminated the room with a low glow. They had just finished the last episode and both were still trying to process it. The empty popcorn bowl laid forgotten on the floor, where it had fallen after Lisa had thrown it angrily as she watched her favorite character die on the screen. Jennie had laughed at the other girl’s anger, reminding her that it was just a tv show but had instantly regretted it when Lisa had thrown herself on top of her and tickled her sides mercilessly until she got a breathless Jennie to apologize. The blonde girl had simply smirked at her before laying her head on Jennie’s stomach, making herself comfortable with half her body still on top of Jennie. They had watched the last two episodes in that position and even after, while they talked about what theories had been correct and what parts had shocked them, Lisa made no move to get off of her.
By the time they both started yawning and Lisa finally moved in order to turn off the tv, Jennie was unsure about whether she was relieved or disappointed by the sudden distance. She didn’t have a lot of time to ponder on it though as the moment Lisa got back into bed, she simply got back into the same position with her arms hugging her around the midriff this time as she fell asleep. It wasn’t exactly abnormal behavior as Lisa had always been extremely affectionate and they had fallen asleep cuddling more times than Jennie could count through ought the years. Yet something about this time felt different somehow. Instead of overthinking as she tended to do, Jennie decided to simply enjoy the closeness with the girl she loved and drifted off as well.
The next day they quickly got ready for school and went down for breakfast. Jennie’s mother greeted them both with a kiss and her father waved at them from the kitchen counter where he was reading the morning news with a cup of coffee. She served them both pancakes, Jennie’s topped with strawberries and bananas and Lisa’s with whipped cream and blueberries just like they both liked them. Lisa spent so much time at Jennie’s house that her parents basically saw her as a second daughter. They had even given her a key to the house and told her she was welcome anytime after they discovered she had been climbing the tree outside Jennie’s window to get to her second story bedroom. They were worried that she would one day fall but Lisa still preferred climbing in through the window rather than using the front door. She claimed it was more fun that way.
After breakfast they hugged Jennie’s parents’ goodbye and hurried out the door, knowing they would have to hurry if they didn’t want to be late.
Later that day during lunch, Jennie watched once again as Lisa flirted with one of the basketball players this time. Jennie was glaring down at her lunch as Lisa listened intently as the basketball player told her about the winning point he had shot during their last game. They had been in the middle of deciding what movie they were going to watch later that afternoon at Lisa’s house after they did their homework when the Basketball Player had showed up out of nowhere and sat next to Lisa and started talking with her, ignoring Jennie completely.
Jennie sighted as she felt the now familiar feeling of jealously threatened to overwhelm her once again. She knew that her feeling like this every time she saw Lisa flirting with some guy was not healthy. She feared that if she wasn’t able to get rid of her feelings soon, she would do something she would regret. Something that would threaten her friendship with Lisa which was the single most important thing in her life. And she couldn’t risk that.
She had tried suppressing her feeling for so long, hiding them deep within her and yet nothing seemed to work. Jennie knew that spending all of her time with the other girl probably wasn’t helping her forget her feelings and so, as she watched Lisa laugh at something the Basketball player said, the perfect idea formed in her mind. She realized that she simply needed some space from Lisa so that her unwanted feelings would have some time to disappear. The problem would be getting said space as they were usually never far apart.
That day after school, as they walked back to Lisa’s house together, Jennie decided that her plan would start the very next day.
——
The next morning, she woke up early and made her way to school, arriving earlier than she ever had before. She grabbed her things from her locker and walked to her favorite spot beneath the bleachers, taking out a book to pass the time as she waited for school to start. A few chapters in, her phone started buzzing with messages and soon after, with missed phone calls, which she ignored knowing it was Lisa wondering why Jennie wasn’t at their usual meeting spot so they could walk to school together.
She waited until the last second before rushing of to her first period, arriving seconds before the bell rang. She ignored Lisa’s stare which only became more pointed after she walked past her usual seat next to her and sat at an empty chair on the other side of the room. All throughout the class she felt a familiar glare burning into the side of her face but she managed to look pointedly at the teacher for the whole hour. 5 minutes before the bell rang, she started gathering her things so that the minute class ended she was able to rush out of class, narrowly avoiding Lisa.
The next few classes, which they shared together, continued much of the same with Jennie sitting on the opposite side of the room as Lisa and rushing out of class before she could say anything. The only real difference was that as the day continued on, the glares burning holes in the back of her head became more and more heated.
During lunch, Jennie managed to hide in a corner in the library and during chemistry class, which they both had as the last class of the day, she asked a girl who’s name she didn’t know if she wanted to be her lab partner, ignoring the hurt look in Lisa’s eyes as they were always lab partners. Jennie knew that she was being unfair to her best friend but she also believed that it was the only way she could ever actually move on so that she could then continue her friendship with Lisa without all the extra feelings.
When the bell rang, she once again managed to disappear in the busy hallway before Lisa was able to get to her. Seems like being so short actually worked in her favor for once, she thought with a grin, which quickly vanished when she remembered had been trying to disappear in the first place. It would probably get easier as the days passed but for now, Jennie couldn’t wait to get into her bed and sleep the whole day away.
——
“We’re all in this toge…”, Jennie’s singing was cut off abruptly at the sight of Lisa sitting on the edge of her bed, one eyebrow raised at her questionable taste in music. It was late at night and she had just walked into her room after taking a shower and was drying her hair with a towel but she stopped what she was doing immediately. She turned to look at the open window and had to stop herself from hitting her forehead in annoyance when she realized she had forgotten to lock it.
“Hey”, she tried greeting her, thinking that maybe if she acted normal then Lisa would too. Her hopes for that were shattered when Lisa started glaring at her instead of answering. “What are you doing here?”, Jennie asked, trying one more time. She was once again met with silence, an icy glare piercing her eyes.
Without a word, Lisa stood up and took two quick steps towards Jennie, the latter quickly taking two steps backwards, the anger on the taller girl’s face making her think that it was probably better for her if she kept some distance between them.
“Crap”, thought Jennie as she noticed the angry posture in the other girl’s form.
“Why have you been ignoring me?” Jennie laughed nervously at the accusation. “What are you talking about Lisa? I haven’t been ignoring you.” It was clearly the wrong thing to say as the expression on Lisa’s face grew even more thunderous and she took another step towards Jennie, making Jennie take another step backwards. “Oh, so you’re telling me you didn’t go out of your way all day just to avoid me? You just forgot to meet me in our usual place in the morning so we could walk to school together like we have been doing for years?” Her voice had taken on a mocking tone, which Jennie knew from experience was never good. “You didn’t sit on the opposite side of the room instead of next to me in our usual seats in all our shared classes and you didn’t run out the moment the bell rang instead of waiting for me?” She took another step forward, followed by Jennie’s step backwards. “You didn’t hide in the library during lunch or ask someone you barely know to be your lab partner when we’ve always been lab partners?” One step forward, followed by one step backwards. “You didn’t run off at the end of the day instead of coming over to do our homework like you have done every day for years?” One step forward, followed by one step backwards. “You didn’t ignore all my text messages and phone calls?” One step forward, followed by one step backwards.
Lisa was silent, waiting for Jennie to say something but the latter didn’t know what to say. She felt foolish for actually thinking that Lisa hadn’t noticed anything. How couldn’t she? They basically spent all of their time together. Jennie’s lack of response only seemed to anger Lisa even more. “Why. Have. You. Been. Ignoring. Me?” she asked again, each word punctuated by a silence. Jennie simply looked down, unable to look her in the eyes. “Did I do something?” Lisa asked, her tone a lot more subdued now, letting Jennie hear the hurt in her voice. “Of course you didn’t” Jennie quickly stated, longing to pull the taller girl into her arms. Her answer however, seemed to anger Lisa all over again.
“Then tell me why”, Lisa shouted angrily at the shorter girl, taking another step closer, making Jennie automatically try to take one back but was stopped when her back hit the wall. Lisa was now basically pinning Jennie against the wall. Lost in their anger they had failed to notice how close they had been getting, all sense of personal space now all but lost. Both girls seemed to realize their predicament at the same time as most of the anger faded away, a light blush painting both of their cheeks red. A long silence enveloped them as neither made any move to step away. Jennie was surprised when she noticed Lisa looking down at her lips. As the silence dragged on, the angry tension that had filled the room only a few moments before completely disappeared, a different kind of tension taking over. Jennie’s heart pounded in her chest as her gaze seemed unable to leave the other girl’s lips. They were standing so close that she could smell Lisa’s usual perfume, a mix of Lavender and vanilla with a hint of something else she couldn’t quite place. Something that reminded her of the smell of rain on a warm summer day. Something that was quite distinctively Lisa. The scent clouded her senses and all of the feelings that she had been trying to push down for so long came rushing back in an instant.
Before she could stop herself, she surged forward and captured the other’s lips with her own, trying to portray all the things she wanted to say but couldn’t. After a few seconds, she noticed the taller girl wasn’t responding and started pulling away, apologies already on the brink of her lips, when Lisa grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her back in, their lips touching in a searing kiss. The moment their lips touched, it felt as though time had stopped. As if they were the only people in the world. She felt her knees go weak and she could only focus on how soft her lips felt against her own. Their mouths moved together as all the feelings of bitterness, of guilt, of anger melted away until all that was left was the feeling of electricity that started of small and travelled all the way down to her toes, threatening to overwhelm her.
Only pulling away when the need for air became too great. Their foreheads rested together as they caught their breath, their eyes never leaving the others, trying still to silently communicate all their unspoken feelings.
“That’s why”, Jennie whispered, still breathless. Wordlessly, Lisa raised her hand to cup Jennie’s cheek as she leaned down to kiss her again. The second kiss was slower, gentler, though no less passionate. It was filled with unspoken promises of what the future held. Although it was only their second kiss it felt familiar somehow. Natural. As thought, they had done it a thousand times before. Jennie smiled against Lisa’s lips. It felt like coming home.