Chapter 5
Jennie was 16 years old when she realized she’d found her forever…
It was late on a Friday night and Jennie was just getting home after dropping Lisa off at her house after their weekly movie date. She had wanted to spend the night over but her parents had insisted on her coming home so they could all go to church the next morning as a family.
Jennie opened the front door, already fantasizing about her warm bed after the long week she’d had. A voice greeted her as soon as she stepped inside. “Jen, is that you? Could you please come into the kitchen? We need to talk with you”, Jennie’s mother called. Jennie started making her way up the stairs. “Sure mom. I’ll be right there. Let me just drop my things off in my room.”
“Now Jennie. It’s urgent.” Jennie stopped in her tracks at hearing her father’s tone. She was confused by what was happening but slowly made her way down the stairs again and entered the brightly lit kitchen. Her parents were sitting on the kitchen counter holding what looked to be cups of coffee. Jennie immediately noticed two things. Her mother’s red eyes and her father’s suitcase that sat besides his feet. A sudden feeling of dread started building up inside her. “What’s going on?” she asked. “Please seat down Jen”, her mother told her, pointing at an empty seat. Jennie, however, was getting impatient as her mind started overflowing with questions. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”
Her father sighted. “Look Jen, I know this is going to be hard to hear but I got a job offer in California.” We can’t leave. This is our home.” She immediately protested, thinking of Lisa. “No Jen. You’re not leaving. I am.” Her father said. Jennie suddenly understood why her mother’s eyes were red and why he had a suitcase. “What do you mean? Why are you leaving us?”
Her mother tried to smile at her but Jennie could see the fakeness behind it. “He’s not leaving you Jen. Your father and I have decided to get a divorce and we thought this was the right thing to do.” Jennie immediately saw right threw her. She was talking as if it had been both of their ideas but by the way she looked Jennie knew it was her father that was leaving her. Jennie couldn’t comprehend what was happening. To her knowledge, both her parents loved each other and were happy together. She felt the beginning of a panic attack drawing near and knew that she had to get out of there. She turned around and started walking out the kitchen but was stopped by her father’s voice. “Wait Jen, my plane leaves in an hour so I have to go. I’ll call you every day. Come give me a hug goodbye.” Jennie scoffed at that and turned to glare at him intensely “Don’t bother calling. I won’t be there to answer.” She turned around and ran up the stairs to her room, slamming the door shut.
She clutched at her throat as she gasped for air. It felt like the walls were closing in on her. She hurriedly opened her bedroom window and climbed out, making the small jump from the ledge to the roof. There was a small piece of flat roof right above her bedroom and she had been sneaking up there ever since Lisa had first discovered it years ago. It was the place where she went when she wanted some space to think. The fresh air helped clear her thoughts and she could feel herself regaining control. She laid down and squeezed herself into a small ball, trying to understand her new reality.
Jennie quickly lost track of time and it could have been either minutes of hours later when she sensed someone joining her. The familiar scent of lavender and vanilla let her know who it was. “Your mom called.” The person said. That was all the explanation Jennie needed. She knew her mom understood the depth of her and Lisa’s relationship and she must have realized she was the only person Jennie wanted to see at the moment. Jennie simply nodded, without turning around to look at her. She knew the moment she did, the fragile wall she had managed to build would come crumbling down. She felt arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer. “It’s ok. It’s ok. I’m here”, a voice whispered in her ear, “I’m right here.”
The gentle words proved to be too much for Jennie as she quickly turned around in her embrace and hid her face in Lisa’s neck, as the tears finally fell. Her body wracked with the force of her sobs. Lisa simply continued whispering assurances, rubbing circles in her back as she held her even closer.
They stayed like that until Jennie’s sobs eventually quieted down into the occasional sniffle. “I don’t understand. Why would he just leave. I thought they were happy. I thought they loved each other. Is it my fault?” Jennie’s words came out muffled as she was still hiding her face in Lisa’s neck and it took Lisa a few seconds to discern them. She took a few seconds to answer, worried whatever she said would make things worse somehow.
“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. If anything, they wouldn’t have lasted this long without you. Besides, people fall out of love all the time. Just because they don’t love each other anymore doesn’t mean they never did.” Jennie didn’t look convinced. “What’s the point then? Why go through all that for love if it’s only temporary anyway?”.
Lisa sat up, bringing Jennie up with her. She needed to see Jennie, to make sure she understood what she was about to tell her. Jennie got the message and sat cross legged across from her. “There are different kinds of love. The point is looking for the kind of love that never fades, never lessens. The kind that lasts forever and can survive through anything. Even death. I think that’s all everyone wants. To find their forever love. Most people spend their whole lives searching for this other person but most never do. The love your parents shared may not have been this kind of love but that doesn’t make what they shared any less real. They truly loved each other. Their love simply ran its track. Besides, I doubt they would ever regret it considering it gave them you.”
Jennie didn’t respond immediately, trying to take in Lisa’s mini rant. After a few seconds, that felt like eternity to Lisa, she finally broke her silence, a small smile forming on her face. “When did you become so wise”, she teased. Lisa feigned annoyance. “How dare you, I’ll have you know I’ve always been this wise. You were just to busy ogling me to notice.” Jennie smiled shyly at that, knowing the words were probably true. Her smile disappeared a few seconds later, however, as she turned solemn once again.
“You said most people spend their lives looking for this kind of love, and that most never manage to find it. What if you think you’ve found your forever but then in the future you realize you were wrong?”
Lisa knew that they were no longer talking about Jennie’s parents. “I think that when you have the real thing, it’s impossible to confuse. It’s when you feel like a part of you is missing when you’re not with the other person. When you feel like the world is black and gray but it bursts into the most beautiful colors when you’re together. When you literally feel like you were put on this earth for the sole purpose of loving her.”
Jennie understood what Lisa was trying to say. “Oh”. She whispered. “In that case, I’ve definitely found mine.”
Lisa felt tears prickling her eyes. “Well how lucky was I to find mine in an adorable 7-year-old with an even cuter accent” she joked. Jennie responded to the teasing by shoving her. “Shut up”, she said, letting out a tearful laugh. Lisa simply smiled at the happiness that now coated the other girl’s voice and leaned over to grab Jennie, pulling her closer until her back was flush with Lisa's front, her arms wrapped around her waist. She leaned down and planted a kiss on top of Jennie’s head. A comfortable silence enveloped them as they both knew there was nothing more to say. They sat there watching the darkening night sky, Lisa’s embrace protecting Jennie from the bitter cold air. Jennie couldn’t help but notice how perfectly her body fitted against Lisa’s. She really was her other half.