Can You Love Me Like That Again?
It had been so long since Caitlyn had woken up to a scream, yet the chill racing down her spine was all too familiar.
Her eyes snapped open, heart already pounding as she took in the scene. Early morning light bled through the curtains — around 5 a.m., if the wall clock was right — but the quiet of dawn was shattered.
Chaos reigned. Heart monitors beeped frantically, nurses swarmed the room — Caitlyn counted at least six — and Vi’s family was huddled in the corner, their faces pale, voices sharp and panicked. Every pair of eyes, including the nurses’, were locked on something out of Caitlyn’s line of sight.
She didn’t need to guess. She already knew.
Her gaze darted to Vi’s empty bed, IV lines ripped out and strewn across the sheets.
“Vi!” Caitlyn’s voice broke as she bolted to her feet, cold tiles biting at her bare feet as she shoved her way through the gathering crowd.
Someone — Vander? — called her name, but it barely registered.
Then came the crash. A tray clattered to the floor as the crowd parted for just a second.
And there Vi was.
Curled against the wall like a trapped animal, blood streaking down her arms from torn IV lines, fists clamped over her ears, pink hair damp with sweat and plastered to her forehead.
“Shut up!” Vi screamed at no one in particular, voice raw, but no one stopped. If anything, the nurses only leaned in, shouting instructions, the tension rising like floodwater.
Caitlyn froze — heart hammering, vision narrowing.
She knew this. Knew that shattered, vacant look in Vi’s eyes. That wasn’t Vi anymore — that was fear. Panic. A spiral too deep for anyone here to reach.
Anyone but her.
Caitlyn’s head whipped toward Vander, but the helplessness on his face told her everything. No one knew how to bring her back.
But Caitlyn did.
Her feet moved before her mind caught up. “Move!” she barked, shoving Mylo aside as she forced her way forward, pulse deafening in her ears.
“Sedative!” someone shouted behind her. “Get the sedative!”
“No!” Caitlyn spun, fury spilling out. “Stop!”
But they didn’t. The syringe came out anyway.
Vi’s wide, wild eyes locked on it — and Caitlyn’s gut twisted. The betrayal in her face was unmistakable as another nurse tried to pin her down.
“Stop!” Caitlyn snarled again, this time pleading. “She’s terrified! You’re making it worse!”
No one listened.
So Caitlyn snapped.
“Enough!” she roared, smacking the syringe out of the nurse’s hand. It skittered across the floor, forgotten. She surged forward, dropping to her knees beside Vi.
Silence fell like a guillotine.
No one moved, no one spoke — except Vi, who was still whispering, “Shut up, shut up, shut up,” voice cracking under the weight of it all.
Caitlyn reached out, gently but firmly peeling Vi’s bloodied hands away from her ears.
She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“Violet,” she said softly, voice threading through the chaos like a lifeline.
It worked.
Vi froze, trembling, eyes glassy and faraway.
And then, like a dam breaking, a strangled sob ripped out of Vi’s throat — sharp and guttural. She grabbed Caitlyn’s shirt with trembling fingers, dragging her close, as if anchoring herself to the one thing that made sense.
Caitlyn pulled Vi in without hesitation, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, holding her like she’d done countless nights before. Vi buried her face in Caitlyn’s chest, hot tears soaking through her clothes as her grip tightened, desperate and unrelenting.
Caitlyn rested her chin atop Vi’s head, feeling damp fabric pressed to her bare skin, her own quiet voice whispering just loud enough for Vi to hear.
“I’m here, Vi. It’s okay. I’m here.”
~~~
Vi felt a shaky breath saw out of her lungs, and felt her muscles relax.
She blinked — hard — trying to clear her vision and make sense of what had just happened.
She could have sworn there was a crowd of people there — shouting people, frantically waving hands, a chaotic din of noise she couldn’t shut out.
And suddenly, one voice had cut through them all.
Vi had grabbed at it like it was her one and only lifeline, grabbed at the warm, living body that wrapped an arm around her and let her cry, grabbed at the strangely familiar presence approaching her.
A presence that stood out against all others.
Until she realised it was Caitlyn.
Her first instinct was to stand, to shake off any remnant of the nightmare, to act as though she was fine and Caitlyn’s shirt wasn’t stained with wet spots from her tears. It was a betrayal to her principles and beliefs to lean on someone like this for support.
To lean on a Piltie, on someone Vi was so determined to hate.
I can’t need her.
But she didn’t pull away. She couldn’t.
She couldn’t pull away. Not when Caitlyn’s presence was the one thing that made her feel… safe. Too familiar to be safe, but too comforting to fight.
Vi swallowed hard, forcing the words out before she could stop them. Her voice came out shakier than she’d intended.
“How… did you know to do that?”
Caitlyn didn’t answer immediately, instead holding up a bottle of water with a straw stuck in it. Vi obediently drank, and she didn’t want to admit it, but the intimacy of the gesture and the meaning behind it made her feel so… cared for.
It’s nice, she thought before she could stop herself.
She heard Caitlyn sniffle. “You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you.”
Vi lowered her head to take another sip of water. “Tell me.”
Caitlyn hesitated and brought the bottle up to her own lips, taking a quick sip before replying.
“You do it all the time.”
Vi sniffled quietly, the statement barely processing in her head.
What does that even mean? she wondered, but the forlorn expression on Caitlyn’s face made her decide not to push any further.
She felt a tear hit the top of her head, right where Caitlyn’s chin was resting. Vi’s heart gave a sudden, unexpected lurch, and for the first time, she felt the weight of Caitlyn’s unspoken emotions.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered quietly.
The crack in Caitlyn’s voice was one of the few she had failed to hide. “You have nothing to apologise for.”
And they sat there, comfortable in each other’s embrace, until the sun was fully up.
~~~
Caitlyn sighed and relaxed against the wall, doing her best not to wake Vi.
Vi had fallen asleep on her shoulder a few minutes ago, apparently exhausted from all the screaming and crying.
Which also meant Caitlyn had plenty of time to mull over their earlier conversation.
If I told you that you fell in love with me, would you believe me?
The instinctive response from Vi hurt more than Caitlyn had expected.
Caitlyn blinked the tears out of her eyes, willing herself to bite her lip and not cry.
But the sheer lack of doubt, the absolute certainty in Vi’s answer was just so… painful. So unexpected. So heartbreaking.
Vi needed her. That much was certain. After all, Caitlyn had been the only one who could cut through the noise when Vi was breaking down earlier that morning.
But she wouldn’t admit it. She was simply too stubborn.
Is it worth it? Caitlyn wondered bitterly. To put in so much effort and win her back… perhaps it would be easier to let go.
But even as the thought crossed her mind, she already knew the answer. She couldn’t give up on Vi. Not when she needed Caitlyn most.
The cold reality was that Vi might never remember her. Caitlyn may have to live the rest of her life with a hole in her heart that only Vi could fill.
That was an option she didn’t want to explore.
She still loved Vi to the moon and back. She would still take a bullet for Vi. She would still give the world for Vi.
None of that had changed.
Except…
Caitlyn swallowed hard, feeling Vi shift against her body and hearing her murmur in her sleep.
Maybe, in the end, friendship was all Caitlyn could hope for — and that thought gutted her.
Getting Vi to stop hating her was one thing, falling in love was another. Even if Vi let go of the hate, Caitlyn still might never get her back — not the Vi who once loved her so easily.
Putting all this time and effort and blood and sweat and tears for the sake of restoring Vi’s memory was an investment. She just wasn’t sure it was a wise one.
Would it pay off?
It was two extreme outcomes — either Caitlyn got the love of her life back, or she would have to settle for a platonic relationship with Vi. And if there was anything she was sure of, it was that being just friends with someone who had captured her heart was more painful than an actual breakup.
Neither of them had even wanted the chasm between them to open. Vi just didn’t see the chasm, thanks to her stunted memory.
It was the worst of breakups — one that neither had wanted or wished for. It had simply… happened. Fate had decided for them, and Caitlyn was now shouldering the painful aftermath.
Caitlyn exhaled steadily, trying to clear the image of Vi’s blank stare the day she woke up.
You used to fall apart in my arms, finding warmth in the embrace of the person you now hate. You loved me so fiercely I never felt unwanted, unneeded or expendable. You showed me what it was like to be chosen, every single day.
Now… you don’t even know me.
Can you love me like that again?
Or was that version of us lost for good?