Years and Years

Children are quite inquisitive in nature. Their young minds are always excited to gather little pieces of information here and there, connecting imaginary dots in their heads. That is exactly the kind of kid Katya is, maybe that is why she is popular around the neighborhood. Katya is always curious. The blonde Russian-born girl is always excited about new information. When the weather is gloomy and she can’t play outside with the other kids, she will just contentedly read inside her cozy room. She has learned a lot of things this way; facts about octopi, the definition of communism (based on her grasp as a kid), and a whole lot more. Little nuggets of knowledge turned to acquiring crucial skills, but she has yet to grasp the abstract concepts, and how not to ask questions bluntly.

Beatrice acts differently inside and outside of her home. Katya had only ever known the quick yet clumsy, the cute but whiny, and smart and sassy version of the little girl who she plays with regularly. It was worlds away from the strangely quiet and prim and proper kid that she got to know when Beatrice twisted her ankle. It was eerie, at least for the ball of energy that is Katya. She never gets why the younger girl acts differently in different places. To Katya’s limited understanding, what the girl is doing is tantamount to lying. Katya is always the way she is, outgoing, energetic, and playful wherever she goes. Her parents never tell her to tone down her voice, to “laugh like a lady”, and to do things gracefully. That is why she felt the need to ask the six-year-old why she behaves the exact opposite way when she is within Miss Linda’s eyesight. Sitting by the fire far enough to be out of the grown-ups’ earshot, Katya carefully moved closer to Beatrice, still wary of Miss Linda’s judging looks.

“Beatrice, can I tell you something?” She began in a whisper. The younger blonde just shrugged and muttered a “yeah” as she continued drawing.
“I think you are lying.” Katya stated bluntly. This made Beatrice’s head snap towards her, eyes glistening with tears, hurt evident.
“No, I’m not!” She insisted, clenched fists lightly hitting her little thighs as she spoke to punctuate her words. Miss Linda visibly flinched at Trixie’s raised tone. She shot her niece a warning look before continuing her conversation with the Zamolodchikovas.
Katya shook her head. “See? You stop when she tells you to, and then you don’t act like you always do outside. If it’s not true, then you’re lying.” She attempts to explain.
By now, tears have seeped through Beatrice’s eyes. “If you don’t believe me then we’re not friends anymore. Friends believe their friends.” She whispers through hiccups.

“But, you’re lying, Beatrice! And that’s not okay. You laugh very loud outside but inside your house, you cover your mouth. You’re not acting the truth.” Katya stated the last part carefully, weighing if she used the proper words.
“B-because Aunt Linda says so. If I don’t do what she says, she said she will punish me. “Beatrice explains, feeling the same sting of embarrassment that enveloped her when she twisted her ankle. She sobbed quietly, wiping her tears from time to time as not to draw any attention.
Katya wanted to say something, to argue back, but thankfully knew not to upset a crying person even further. She sank her shoulders lower with a pout as she watched Beatrice scoot away from her, ignoring her completely.
Katya felt something on her chest, and it is quite heavy. It’s weighing her down like bricks, yet she felt hollow and lifeless inside. She doesn’t know how to explain it, but she would later find out exactly what people call that one specific sensation. At that moment however, Katya decided to nudge Beatrice a little, just to get her attention, an assurance that the younger girl didn’t actually mean what she said.
“Hey.” She whispers, confused by the way her throat is constricting and her eyes threatening to tear up as well.
“We’re not friends anymore.” Beatrice simply says, trying to even her breathing.
“Why?” Katya’s voice trembled as well.
“Because you said I lie. Go away.” Beatrice says, moving away from her friend even further.
“No. We’re still friends. “ Katya argues.
“Why?” Beatrice looked at her then, an expression of annoyance riddled with curiosity on her face.
“Because I said so.” Katya laughed lightly, hoping that her little joke would magically clear the negative atmosphere between her and her friend, but she’s the only one laughing.
“Well, we’re not friends anymore because I said so too.” Beatrice rolled her eyes, her sassy side shining through.
Katya sighed loudly. She doesn’t know how to explain all the complex feelings inside her yet, but she knows that they’re all negative, even for her age. She just didn’t understand why Beatrice got mad for being told that she’s lying, which, in her mind, is what she’s actually doing. The young girls continued on drawing, never interacting, yet never leaving their table. As the night deepened, the adults started having disagreements of their own as well…

The barbecue was fine, dishes were washed, and the three adults now sat at a table right across from Katya and Beatrice. The conversation flowed rather awkwardly, the couple kindly asking questions with the intent to get to know their new neighbor better, despite receiving hesitant responses. Her disinterest could not be more evident, with the way her eyes keep shifting towards the little girls. Katina cleared her throat to get Linda’s attention once again.
“If you don’t mind me asking, Linda, how did you end up taking care of the little girl by yourself?” Katina asks her carefully. Linda made a disgusted face, and clasped her hands at the table in front of her.
“Her mother didn’t follow the rules enough. She got pregnant and the boy left her on her own. She’s gone.” Linda explains bluntly.

The couple looked at each other, neither knowing what to say about the blunt confession.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, Linda.” Katina offers in a moderate tone, fearing that she might sound patronizing.
“That’s why I try to get her to act properly, to make her safe. I do not want her to end up like her mother. That’s why I’m always so strict.”

Katina opened her mouth to speak but was cut off by Linda.

“…And if I’m being honest, I think you should do the same with Yekaterina, it's a bit late but you can still get her to act right.”
The statement caught the Zamolodchikovas off-guard. Katina tried to keep her composure.
“I’m sorry, but what does our Katya have to do with this?”

Linda straightened her back in her chair with her chin up, looking at the couple with an unreadable expression. She then smirked menacingly. Katina thought that if Katya wasn't around, she would have dragged the woman by her hair across the table.

“I noticed that you don’t watch the way she behaves. Her dresses always end up wrinkly in Sunday school, she laughs too loudly and she…she’s not acting like how a proper young lady should, not to mention what happened in the woods…” It’s Daniel who cut her off this time.

“I will have to disagree with you. We think that Katya is doing just fine. “ He smiles to hide his aggravation.
Linda raised her eyebrows at him. “Really? You think it’s acceptable? The way she acts? Katina, Daniel, I’m just concerned. She’s-“
Daniel rose from his seat, unable to tolerate her any longer.
“Katya is a smart and loving girl. She can be blunt at times, but she’s polite. She’s helpful, she’s sweet, and she cares for everybody around her. Katya respects everyone no matter how badly she gets treated. She doesn’t judge people, never. We taught her better than that. Yes, she may not act like how you think a “proper young lady” should, but she’s acting like a proper human to other humans. That’s what is important to us. As for what happened in the woods, you never acted this way when Sasha did the same thing last week to Kim. You have double standards. She was trying to comfort her friend. Whatever she turns out to be in the future is out of our control, it’s not up to us to conclude that or try and change that. We’re teaching her to be herself confidently so that she wouldn’t be afraid to deal with people like…you.” Daniel was gritting his teeth by the end of his outburst.
For a few seconds, the three adults just stared at each other intensely, daring the other to say something and ignite the fire once again. A tiny voice broke their heated stare-down.

“Aunt Linda, I’m getting sleepy.” Beatrice’s voice cut through the air. Linda turned towards the little girl and took her hand. With a deep breath, she looked back at the couple, now seemingly calmer and with a somehow civil look on her face.
“Thank you for the dinner, Daniel, Katina. Say thank you, Beatrice.” She gave the little girl a nudge.
“Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Zamo. Goodnight.” They smiled at the little girl and with a slight nod, Linda toted her niece back to their house.

“Sweetheart.” Katina lovingly slipped her arms around her husband's waist, resting her head on his shoulders.
“What an insufferable, miserable human being. I pity the little girl.” Daniel says, still a little bit agitated about the earlier scene. After a beat of silence, Katina realized that Katya was still sitting on the table. She walked towards her daughter, tapping her shoulder lightly.
“Honey, you didn’t say goodbye to your friend.” The ten-year-old’s chin quivered, and soon, she broke down in heavy sobs.
The couple sat by their daughter side by side. Katya embraced her mom tightly by her waist. Katina wrapped her arms around her little girl as Daniel engulfed them both in his arms. Thankfully, they knew that Katya had to calm down, that she’s got to let it all out, whatever feelings she’s got so she wouldn’t bottle them up inside later.
The girl shook and trembled as she held on to her mother for dear life, still sobbing and crying heavily. “Let it all out, baby. Let it all out. It’s okay.” Katina whispers to comfort her daughter. The Zamolodchikovas sat quietly, the sounds of the night filling in the silence in the air. Daniel carefully rubbed Katya’s back up and down as her breaths came in short spurts, tears have stopped flowing but she stills wears the same confused and pained expression. When she began to breathe more evenly, Katina tapped her shoulder once again.

“You think we can walk inside now?” She asks her.

Katya nodded weakly, leading the way towards their front door as she held on to her mother’s hand. Daniel went straight to the kitchen to get a glass of water for his daughter. Once Katina has Katya situated comfortably on the couch, she started to ask her questions.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Katya looked into her mother’s eyes. The older woman saw hurt and confusion stirring inside the girl. Katya sniffed before speaking.

“Beatrice said we’re not friends anymore.” Katya’s voice cracked. Daniel came in just in time and handed the glass of water to Katya. He made the little girl drink at least half of it before setting it on the coffee table.
“Oh, baby. Did she tell you why?” At the back of her mind, Katina knew that it somehow had something to do with the other girl’s uptight aunt.
“She’s lying. I told her.” Katya simply replies, as if it fully explains the situation.
“Can you maybe tell us what exactly you guys talked about?” Daniel asks her.

Katya let her skinny body fall against the cushion of the couch, half-lying down on her back so she can still talk to her parents.

“She’s not the same when she’s in her house and when we’re playing outside. I think she’s lying. She said it’s because Miss Linda will punish her but, Papa, you told me that there is no good reason to lie, right?” The couple was surprised but nonetheless, let their daughter finish her story.
“So I told her that. Then she got mad and said friends believe friends and she’s not lying.” Katya finished the story looking sad once again.
“Katya, sit up straight. Mommy’s got to tell you something.”
Katya diligently obliged.
“I understand what you were trying to tell Beatrice, but the thing is, she doesn’t. She understood differently.”

Katya hummed, signaling that she doesn’t fully understand the concept. Katina continued talking.

“I will give you two examples. How would you feel if I call you a liar right now?” Katina questions her.
“I will feel very sad, Mommy.” She pouts.
“I see, now, if I asked you “Katya, are you lying?” What would you say and how would you feel? “

“I will say no and I will feel okay.”

“That’s the thing, baby. We have to be careful with how we ask questions without sounding so sure that the other person actually did something bad okay? The first example is an accusation. If we’re not careful, we will end up hurting people, especially those that we love. The second one is a simple question, and is less likely to hurt someone.” The woman explains.
“But mommy, she doesn’t act the same!”

“That is a different thing, honey. Beatrice’s aunt, she…she has an idea of how Beatrice should act and… maybe Beatrice doesn’t really like it but, she has to do it, in front of Miss Linda. Baby, it’s really hard to explain. She has no choice.” Katina tries her hardest not to say bad things about the other woman in front of the child. Katya nodded.
“Mommy, I still want to be friends with her. I don’t understand why she has to be like that but…I still like her.” The couple chuckled at that.
“Maybe you should start by saying sorry if you see her tomorrow?” Daniel suggests.
Katya rubbed her eyes and yawned. The night had been too much for her little body and she just wants to sleep. Maybe she should ask her mommy about the other things tomorrow. Maybe, maybe she wouldn’t have to apologize at all. Beatrice might forget all about it in the morning.
…However, there is one thing that she decided that she has to know immediately.
“Mommy, I don’t know why my chest hurt after I saw Beatrice crying? I felt like it has like, stones but also like…it’s not there?” Katina smiled even wider. Her heart swelled, hearing her daughter talk about her best friend.
“You felt guilty, baby. You hurt her and you sort of knew it. It’s natural.”

Katya thought maybe she should’ve asked her mom in the morning.

“Why do we not have white roses?” Katya pouted. Daniel chuckled and ruffled her hair.
“Because one, I didn’t know that they were the sign of peace, and two; because I didn’t know you’d have to offer them as a sign of peace.” Daniel teased his daughter.
Katya blushed, bowing her head lower. She had her mom look on the internet for peace offering gifts, and they found that white roses are quite common. However, they only have pink and red in their garden.
“Hey, I’m sure she’ll like those pink roses. Tell her you picked them for her.”
“I did.” Katya says, confused.
“So, tell her.” Katya looked on, wondering why she and her father engaged in a seemingly pointless conversation. Just then, she heard Sasha calling her from their front door. Daniel walked Katya to the door.
“Good morning, Mr. Zamolodchikova.”Sasha smiles with a wave. Being the only other kid with a Russian descent, he prided himself in being able to pronounce their whole last name, unlike the other kids around the block.
“Good morning to you, Sasha. You’re a bit taller now than the last time I saw you.”

“I was sitting on my bike, sir.” He giggles. The kids bid Katya’s father goodbye and started walking towards the small clearing where they always play hide and seek in.

“What’s with the flowers?” Sasha asks the girl as he adjusted his glasses.
“I hurt Beatrice yesterday so I’m giving these to her.” She answers.
“Uhm, is that it? No apologies and stuff?” Sasha presses on. He is a bit more mature than Katya who is one year younger than him.
“Do I need to? I already have flowers.”
Sasha shook his head and draped an arm around Katya’s shoulder loosely.
“No, Katya. The apologies come first and you give the gift in hopes that it will help them accept the apology.” Sasha explains.
“Okay. What do I say?” Katya asks. Sasha thought for a moment.
“If you’re saying sorry, that means you know you did something wrong. So, start by saying I’m sorry for hurting you, and then, tell her what you think you did wrong, then, maybe tell her you won’t do it again?”
“Sounds great!” Katya smiles enthusiastically. She knew just what she was going to say.

They found Beatrice by the tree where she tripped her ankle, talking to Pearl. Sasha enticed Pearl with a candy bar so that she would leave Beatrice and Katya alone for a moment.
Katya awkwardly fiddled with the hem of her dress before speaking.
“Beatrice, I’m sorry for hurting you last night. I shouldn’t have called you a liar. I promise not to call you a liar- and not to hurt you anymore.” Katya’s voice cracked as she tried to get it all out quickly.
Beatrice looked up at the older girl, smiling shyly.
“I told Aunt Linda, but she told me that you probably didn’t know what you’re saying.”
There was an awkward silence, both girls randomly fiddling with their fingers or dresses to keep themselves occupied. Katya then remembered her peace offering gift.
“Here. I brought you flowers. They’re supposed to be white but we only have pink ones.”
With that, Beatrice smiled brightly. She took the flowers from Katya’s hand and pulled her into a hug immediately.
“Thank you. Pink is my favorite color now.”
“So, are we friends again?” Katya grins excitedly.
Beatrice nodded frantically, pulling Katya into another, tighter hug.