Long Long Time

It’s been 3 days since James Potter did the last thing Regulus ever could’ve expected. He stayed. For several hours, James Potter talked to him. Regulus still isn’t sure he didn’t just imagine the whole thing. James is-. Potter is not what he expected, not that Regulus has imagined talking to Potter a lot (he definitely has, can you really blame him?).

He is refreshingly honest. He doesn’t shy away from Regulus’s questions. Regulus knows he is intense. He knows he scares most people, but not James. Potter. He talked for hours. He never once pushed Regulus if he didn’t want to answer something, he simply moved on. Regulus must admit it was almost addicting.

Which means it can never happen again. Regulus is aware it was most likely some drunken mistake on James’s end. He’s probably forgotten it already. Regulus hopes he has. This is beyond foolish. Though he can’t help but feel almost excited. James Potter talked to him. Willingly. For hours (!!!). This is pathetic. Anyone would react like Regulus; James Potter is fucking hot. And funny. And kind. And charming. And Regulus sounds like a fucking loser. He isn’t anyone though. He is a Black. He can’t afford to make mistakes like this. He cannot afford hope. Regulus should’ve thrown him out, it’s not like Potter didn’t give him the chance. But he didn’t. You know why, the voice in the back of his head whispers. Yes. Yes, he does know why. That’s what makes it so dangerous.

“What is his problem?” Evan asks him.

He is talking about how Barty has been sulking for the past three days. If Evan might use that microscopic brain of his, he would realise that Barty is acting like a heartbroken teenager. This is because he, wait for it, is a heartbroken teenager. As Regulus had expected, Evan ended up kissing several people, none of whom were their grumpy friend. He also danced with Regulus’s brother (which Regulus still isn’t sure how to feel about, but neither of them has mentioned it and he thinks it might be for the better).

Unfortunately, his plan did not work how he intended it too. Barty left the party almost immediately after he saw Evan kiss some random Ravenclaw girl. Regulus thought about following him to confront him, but he does not want to get caught in the middle of whatever this is. The best would be if Barty got over himself and stopped acting like a fucking coward and just bloody kissed Evan. It would save them all a lot of trouble. Regulus is willing to bet his whole wardrobe (that he highly values) that Evan would kiss Barty back.

“Do you want the full list or?” he ends up replying.

“Stop being a dick, Reggie. You can’t honestly tell me you haven’t noticed Barty acting like I strangled his cat.”

Regulus can’t help but cringe. Reggie.

“No clue what you’re talking about, he seems fine to me.” Regulus knows he isn’t being fair to Evan, but he, quite frankly, isn’t in the mood to deal with their drama. He has enough on his mind. Definitely not James Potter and his stupid laugh.

“Sure, you don’t.” Evan says, rolling his eyes. He gets up from his seat next to Regulus.

“Where do you think you are going, Mr. Rosier?” Professor Slughorn says.

“Sorry Professor, but I don’t feel well, so I’m heading to the Infirmary,” Evan swiftly responds.

“Really, Ev?” Regulus says, tone informing Evan how childish he thinks he is being.

“Guess I’ll see you later” Evan says, before leaving the classroom. Regulus just shakes his head. Children.

                                                                        ***

Regulus is walking back from his Potions class when he sees the last thing he expected. James Potter is waving at him. Regulus stops in the middle of the hallway and just blinks. He must’ve gotten something in his eye. He is clearly hallucinating. He rubs his eyes, but Potter is still there. What the fuck is this moron doing? Regulus turns around, maybe Potter is waving at someone behind him. The hallway is clear, its only him and James-Potter.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Regulus hisses at Potter when he closes in on him.

“Hello to you too,” is Potter’s stupidly charming reply. Not charming. Stupid reply, because that is what this is. Stupid.

“What do you want?” Regulus needs to get out of here. Not only are they out in public where literally anyone can see them, but he can’t pretend like he isn’t…fuck, this is pathetic, happy, to see James. Oh, how the mighty fall.

“I just- could we maybe talk? Astronomy Tower, tonight?” Regulus desperately needs James to stop looking at him with those puppy eyes. Really, Black? This is your weakness?

Because Regulus wishes death upon himself, he agrees, before hurrying away. He doesn’t think he’s ever been this confused in his whole life. What could James Potter possibly want, and why did he agree to this?

                                                                       ***

James Potter has massively fucked up. He couldn’t help himself. For 3 days now all he’s thought about is Regulus Black and that deadly smile of his. James is addicted; he needs to see it again. So when James saw Regulus all alone in the hallway he didn’t think, he just acted. And now he has a what? Date with Regulus tonight? Wait, no. James is not trying to date Regulus Black. Or is he? No, he can’t be, he would never do that to Sirius.

James knows how strained the relationship between the two brothers is. He would never hurt Sirius like that. But you are seeing his brother, alone, without him knowing, aren’t you? Regulus was just so…unexpected. James can’t help but be drawn to him. He’s an enigma, one James wants to understand. This is why James grabs the map and his cloak, and heads for the Astronomy Tower that evening. He gives the boys some half-assed excuse (one Sirius will definitely be questioning him about later) before pretty much running.

When he arrives at the Astronomy Tower, he crosses his fingers and begs Regulus will show up. James finds the room empty, but it’s still early. But why would he come? What could Regulus possibly gain from talking to James? James is aware of how fucking pathetic he is, but once he’s set his mind to something he must follow through. Right now, his mind is set on Regulus.

After about 30 minutes James hears the door open and sees Regulus standing there. Beautiful. Regulus is wearing a dark green jumper, and black slacks. James doesn’t think anyone has ever looked as good as Regulus does now. A silence falls upon the boys, and James finds himself speechless. What is happening to him? 

“You came,” he says with a weak voice. He needs to pull himself together.   

“Well, you asked me to,” Regulus replies, as if that was something obvious.

“So, what do you want, Potter?”

“I- well you see…uhm” Get a grip Potter. “I want to talk to you, if that’s okay, maybe?” Wonderfully articulated, James. Well fucking done. He pinches his nose and looks down.

“You want to…talk?” the other boy replies.

“Well-uh, yeah?” James says to the floor.

“You, James Potter, want to talk to me, Regulus Black?”

“Yes, well that’s kind of what I’m saying here.” James looks up and finds a very sceptic looking Regulus.

“And what is it you could possibly have to talk to me about?” Regulus looks even more suspicious now (rightfully so, this is not going the way James planned it to).

“I just really enjoyed talking to you the other day. It’s nice to talk to someone who doesn’t…” he trails off before he reveals too much. Regulus gives him a look he can’t quite decipher.

“Who doesn’t what?” Regulus says in a surprisingly gentle voice that catches James off guard enough to make him meet Regulus’s eyes. If this is going to work, you’ll have to take the first step.

“Someone who doesn’t expect me to be someone I’m not,” is James’s too honest reply. He can see that Regulus did not expect James’s honesty. He looks a bit bewildered, before quickly neutralizing his expression again.

“You’re absolutely positive this isn’t some scheme you and my brother have planned?”

James is truly perplexed at the idea. It never once even crossed his mind.

“No, of course not, Regulus, I just like talking to you is all, I promise.”

“You promise?” Regulus repeats, tone still sceptical. He clearly doubts James. James isn’t sure if it’s a question or not, but he thinks its better to reassure the other boy as much as he can.

“I swear on Moony’s toast that I definitely do not steal every breakfast,” James says while putting his hand over his heart. He sees the tiniest smile pull at Regulus’s lips. Thank Merlin.

“Fine, whatever, let’s talk, Potter” Regulus says in a joking tone, but he does come closer. James could so do a dance right now. He debates it for a bit, just a little shimmy, but decides against it. Best not to scare Regulus away immediately.

“Do you know 20 questions?” James asks him.

“I am not familiar with it, no, but I’m going to take a wild guess and say it’s about asking 20 questions?” the other boy replies, tone sarcastic. James is obsessed with it. Just a tiny bit.

“You would be correct. No wonder people say you’re a genius,” James laughs back.

“People do not say I am a genius, Potter,” Regulus says while rolling his eyes.

“But, oh, they do. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person who enjoys Slughorn’s little nerd get-togethers.”

“Who says I enjoy them?”

“You, considering you go to every single one.”

“And you know this how?”

James did not think before speaking (shock). It’s not like he can tell Regulus about the map. Or the fact that he has been stalking Regulus on said map.

“I have my ways. Now, 20 questions. I’ll go first.” James thinks about it for approximately 2 ½ seconds before asking “What is your favourite colour?”

“Really, Potter? You want to know my favourite colour?”

“James.”

“What?” Regulus replies, clearly confused.

“Call me James.”

“Yes, so that will not be happening.”

“Why not? It is my name?”

“I am aware,” Regulus replies, staring at James with an unreadable expression on his face. James decides to drop it. For now.

“So back to my question, what is your favourite colour?”

After a short silence Regulus says “Green.” He waits a few seconds and then asks, “What is yours?” It looks like it physically pained him to ask it.

“Red,” James immediately replies. “Next question…” he thinks about it for a bit before remembering something Regulus mentioned last time they were up here together.

“What is your favourite Muggle story?”

Regulus looks surprised. It takes him a while to answer. James is starting to get a bit scared he won’t, but then he says, “I like Greek mythology.”

“Can I get an example, please?” James asks, genuinely curios.

Regulus looks a bit uncomfortable at the question. James isn’t sure what he said, but he is sure he said something.

“Orpheus and Eurydice, perhaps” the other boy quietly says. James has no clue what this means.

“What is that?”

“It’s a long story” Regulus says.

“I have time.”

Regulus arches his brow and gives James a sceptical look.

“What?” James laughs.

“You really want to spend your evening listening to me of all people talking about Greek mythology?” I could listen to you speak forevermore. “What does my brother think of this?”

Ah, that part. He knew it would be brought up eventually, but he stupidly hoped they could skip it.

“He doesn’t…uhm…know?” Please, please, please don’t let this ruin anything.

“He doesn’t know?” Regulus sounds both surprised and annoyed at the same time. He is looking at James like he’s lost it. Which he has. “You haven’t told Sirius about this?”

“No?”

Regulus just shakes his head and sighs. James has no idea what the other boy is thinking. Regulus seems to contemplate something, before he rolls his eyes and turn away from James.

“Orpheus was the son of Apollo, the God of poetry and music, among other things. When he was a child his father gifted him a lyre, a beautiful instrument. Orpheus is often referred to as “the father of songs”. He fell madly in love with a woman called Eurydice.” Regulus turns away from James, facing the stars instead now. James moves a little closer to the other boy, intrigued by the story. Or the boy telling it.

“Soon after they got married, Eurydice dies of a snake bite.”

James lets out a gasp, making the Regulus smile. His smile is alluring. James would like to photograph it so he can keep it safe forever.

“Her soul descended into the Underworld, and Orpheus was devastated. His grief-stricken songs touched the Gods and nymphs so much that they suggested he should enter the kingdom of the dead and beg for the soul of his wife back.” Regulus turns to look at James.

“Go on, what happened next?” James asks, meeting the other boy’s eyes. Regulus continues to stare at James silently for a few seconds like he is searching for something in his gaze. Eventually Regulus turns away from him again and continues his story.

“Orpheus made his way down into the Underworld, which is easier said than done. But the ruler of the Underworld, Hades, isn’t exactly known for being generous. Orpheus would have a hard time convincing him to let his wife’s soul return to him.”

James is fascinated, not only by the story, but also by Regulus. Regulus disappears into the story while he tells it. His whole demeanour changing as he speaks. James thinks he looks beautiful.

“Orpheus sings for Hades and his wife Persephone, and they are so moved by his song that Hades agrees to let Orpheus bring his wife’s soul back to the world of the living with him. On one condition: Orpheus must walk all the way back to the land of the living without once turning and looking at Eurydice. If he does, her soul will be lost in the Underworld forever. In a desperate attempt to get the love of his life back, Orpheus agrees and starts walking.”

“That is so easy though, he just has to not turn around right?” James says, confused. Regulus just shakes his head.

“He turns around. As he is nearing the exit of the realm of the dead, he turns around and looks at Eurydice. Just as he gets a glimpse of her, she is pulled away from him. Her soul forever lost in the underworld.”

“That is utter bullshit, what a fucking bellend,” James says, annoyed now.  

“You’re telling me this guy went all the way down to the land of the dead, and couldn’t just not turn around? Why go through all that just to fuck it all up right at the end?”

“An Orpheus who does not turn around, is not an Orpheus who would make the journey down to the Underworld in the first place,” is Regulus’s cryptic response. James feels himself get frustrated.

“That makes no sense Regulus. He had an opportunity to get the ‘love of his life’ back,” James says in a sarcastic tone, “and then at the very fucking end, he turns around? What a brilliant guy.”

Regulus gives James a curious look.

 “What is it?” he asks the other boy.

“It just surprises me, that you of all people don’t understand why Orpheus did what he did,” Regulus replies. James frowns, not understanding what he means. Considering James wears his feelings on the outside, Regulus clearly understands that.

“James Potter, the biggest romantic to ever walk this planet, doesn’t understand an act of true love?” Regulus says, obviously amused by James’s reaction.

“An act of true love would be to not turn around. Bringing her back from the dead, giving her a second chance at life would be an act of true love.”

“They were doomed by the narrative, Potter. He loved her so much that losing her was inevitable- “Regulus stops himself, searching for the right words. He starts pacing back and forth. “The reasonable decision, the logical decision, would be to not turn around. But you cannot apply logic to emotion, James. His love for her was so strong that there was never any chance he would not turn around, and I think Hades knew this as well, which is why it’s the condition he gave.” Regulus turns around to look at James. James. His name has never sounded better.

“Eurydice was dead. No amount of love can resurrect the dead. It was not his wife’s soul following him, it was his grief. And what is grief if not preserved love? To grieve is to turn around. To truly, deeply, irrevocably love someone is to turn around.”  

“I don’t think I would’ve turned around,” James admits. He still isn’t sure what Regulus means. In his mind, to love someone is to save them. Orpheus did the exact opposite of that.

“Then you have not known grief.”

“You have?” James blurts out. He knows probably shouldn’t push Regulus yet, but he can’t stop the question from flying out.

Regulus stiffens, and James sees his mask fall back on.

“It’s late, Potter. I should go,” he eventually says, and immediately starts moving towards the exit.

“Wait!” James calls out. Regulus stops but does not turn around to face him.

“I just- could we maybe…only if you want to of course- “

“Get to the point, Potter, I don’t have all night,” Regulus snaps.

“I want to see you again. Can we meet again, is what I’m trying to ask?”

Regulus is quiet for too long. He is still facing the door, so James (or Potter now he guesses), can’t read his expression (as if he would’ve been able to do this anyways, but allow him to pretend).

“I’ll be here tomorrow, same time. If you want to come,” James settles on saying.

Regulus stands still for a few seconds, before he lets out an unnecessarily agitated sigh in James’s opinion. “Fine,” he says before walking out the room, leaving James alone. James may or may not let out a little giggle and fist bump the air, but you have no proof this happened.