The Kissing Theory

A heavy, suffocating silence settled in the room, wrapping itself around Elphaba like a curse she hadn’t prepared for.

She could still hear the echo of Glinda’s words.

So, kiss me.

Her heart pounded so violently against her ribs that she was sure Glinda could hear it too.

The blonde sat before her, legs crossed on the bed, arms folded, her expression a perfect blend of determination and something else—something unreadable, something dangerous.

Elphaba had faced many terrifying things in her life, mockery, solitude... But nothing, nothing, compared to this moment.

She should say something.

Anything.

But her throat had closed up.

Glinda arched a delicate brow, tilting her head, waiting. "Elphie, you're awfully quiet. That's not like you."

Elphaba’s fingers twitched against the cover of her book, her mind scrambling for an escape. "I—uh—well—I mean—"

Glinda sighed dramatically, throwing her hands in the air. "Oh, for Oz’s sake! It's not that complicated!" She leaned in slightly, her lips pursing in thought. "You just—kiss me again. Like before. You remember how, don't you?"

Elphaba choked on absolutely nothing.

She remembered.

She remembered too well.

The warmth of Glinda’s lips, the way her hands had ghosted over Elphaba’s shoulders, the way she had moaned—

Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about it. STOP THINKING ABOUT IT.

"I—I don't think this is necessary," Elphaba blurted, gripping her book like it was a lifeline. "You, um—you kissed fine tonight, didn't you?"

At that, Glinda hesitated. Her perfectly painted nails tapped against her knee, her gaze flickering with something that almost looked like doubt.

"That’s just it," she admitted. "I didn’t feel like I kissed fine."

Elphaba frowned. "What do you mean?"

Glinda hesitated for a fraction of a second before flashing her usual dazzling smile. "I just mean I wasn't confident enough! With you, I felt completely in control, but with Fiyero—” she sighed, “—I don’t know. It didn’t feel right."

Something stirred in Elphaba’s chest at that. A strange, foreign feeling she didn’t want to analyze.

Instead, she latched onto the one word that stood out the most.

"Right?" she repeated.

Glinda waved a hand dismissively. "It was a fine kiss, technically speaking. But—" She bit her lip. "I guess I just felt more natural with you. That’s why I need to practice again!"

Elphaba's face burned. "Glinda—"

The blonde pouted, leaning closer, her perfume wrapping around Elphaba like a spell. "Please?"

Elphaba clenched her jaw. "We should go to sleep."

Glinda blinked. "What?"

"You heard me," Elphaba said quickly, standing so abruptly that she nearly tripped over her own feet. "It's late. You're tired. I'm tired. This—this is a conversation for another day."

"But—"

Elphaba spun around, pointing an accusing finger at her. "Another. Day."

Glinda huffed, falling back onto her pillows dramatically. "You're no fun, Elphie."

You're going to kill me, Elphaba wanted to say.

Instead, she turned toward her own bed, hoping—praying—that Glinda would let it go.

But, of course, Glinda never let anything go.

Especially not when she was feeling mischievous.

"So," Glinda purred, her voice taking on a sultry playfulness, "you're saying we should sleep instead of kissing?"

Elphaba froze, halfway to her bed.

Glinda giggled, propping herself up on her elbows. "That sounds awfully suggestive, don’t you think?"

Elphaba’s entire body tensed.

Her brain short-circuited.

Her ears burned.

"W-wHAT?!"

Glinda let out a fake gasp, covering her mouth in mock innocence. "Oh, Elphie, that wasn’t your intention, was it?"

Elphaba whipped around, face burning hotter than a thousand suns. "Stop that!"

Glinda grinned. "Stop what?"

"You know what!"

Glinda tapped her chin, pretending to be deep in thought. "Hmm. Maybe I should sleep in your bed tonight, just in case I get the sudden urge to—"

"GLINDA!"

The blonde burst into giggles, absolutely delighted by the shade of green Elphaba had turned.

Elphaba groaned, covering her face with her hands. "I hate you."

Glinda’s laughter softened, turning into something almost fond.

"No, you don’t," she murmured.

And Elphaba knew—she was right.

Because even when Glinda tormented her like this, even when she made Elphaba feel like she was going to combust from sheer flustered agony—

Elphaba never really hated it.

Not really.

She sighed, finally managing to drag herself to bed. "Goodnight, Glinda."

Glinda grinned, settling into her pillows. "Goodnight, Elphie."

A pause.

Then—

"Sleep well."

Something about the way she said it sent a shiver down Elphaba’s spine.

Elphaba groaned.

This was going to be the longest night of her life.