They Were up to No Good

The next couple of days were spent catching Remus up on all the classwork he had missed and letting him copy down James and Sirius’s notes. Peter allowed him to copy his notes too, and he would’ve except that they were only half a page and his handwriting was just barely legible. On the other hand, both Sirius’s and James’s notes weren’t very thorough either as both of them were used to getting by in class without having to pay much attention, but they tried harder when Remus was gone which honestly made the small boy feel kind of special even if he would never admit it.

Remus also started looking healthier again, his skin returning to a normal glow and not the grey colour it had been when he first arrived back at Hogwarts. Now that everything was back to normal, and James could finally stop worrying about his worrisome friends, he was getting restless. 

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this.” He said one Friday afternoon as he ran his hands through his hair, messing up his black curls even more than before. “Look, I mean,” He put a firm hand on Sirius’s shoulder, “This is getting out of control.”

“Do you know what he’s on about?” Remus asked without looking up from Peter’s Defense Against the Dark Arts essay that he was proofreading while trying to simultaneously write his own.  

“Nope,” Sirius answered, peeling James’s hand off of him. “Are you feeling alright mate?”

“Never better.” James smirked, “I’ve found us a new mission lads.”

“Oh yeah?” Peter asked, taking back his essay from Remus, “And what's that? Have you found a spell that messes up your hair for you, so that you don’t have to do it yourself anymore?”

Sirius laughed proudly and gave Peter a high five. “Good one, mate.”

James ignored them. “We’re getting back my Invisibility Cloak.”  

“Huh?” Finally, Remus, Peter and Sirius all looked up at him at the same time. They blinked at him wearily. 

“And how are we going to do that?” Remus said, trying to sound indignant, but his voice cracked with obvious curiosity. 

“We’re the marauders!” James cried, “We’ll think of something!”

“You mean you haven’t come up with anything yet and now you’re hoping I will.” Remus supplied. 

“Remus! How could even think that?”

Remus sighed, “Well, luckily for you I've already thought about it.”

Sirius perked up, “You have?”

“I have.” Remus said rolling his eyes, “One of us had to.” He took out a notebook and set down his quill, flipping through the pages. “I’m surprised you survived this long without it, Potter. Must be a record for your family.” 

“Just tell us already!” Peter said, jumping up and down. Remus sighed but he couldn’t help feeling excited. He really was surprised by James. The bespectacled boy had gone for almost threemonths without his Invisibility cloak and personally, Remus hadn’t even thought he could last for three days, which is why he had been planning this particular heist since the very week in which their beloved cloak had been taken from them. “You’re lucky I wrote this down…” Remus said absentmindedly, scanning the various notes with his eyes. 

“You wrote it down?” Sirius spluttered. 

“Yes. Got a problem with that Black?”

“No, no. Very...smart. You sure are a smart...smarty.”

“Oh stuff it.” Remus rolled his eyes again. “Alright, here we go. Peter,” Peter sat up straighter at the mention of his name, “You’re going to go to Professor Slughorn's potions cupboard and you’re going to steal the Velenatrocus Petals. They’re not exactly rare so it won’t actually matter where you hide them but we’re going to have to return them later. Just remember they have a very strong smell so Slughorn will notice them missing right away. Once this happens he’ll immediately contact Filch who’ll hurry downstairs to the dungeons. While that’s happening Sirius and I will sneak into Filch's office and take the cloak. James,”

“Yes sir!”

“You’re going to make sure that Filch doesn’t go upstairs until we’re gone. We’ll send a signal so you know we’re out.” 

“You’re brilliant Lupin,” Sirius said grinning. Remus blushed slightly, not really knowing how to respond to the compliment. 

“What do the...the….uh Velo-tric-ius Petals, the...you know the dinosaur sounding petals-”

Remus laughed, “Velenatracous, yes.”

“Yes those,” Peter said, “What do those look like?”

“Here,” Remus roughly drew out a sketch, “They’re almond-shaped see?” 

Peter nodded.

“And they have this distinct bright purple colour. Don’t get the red ones , Pete, those are Villiarium Petals. They’re rare and they can burn your skin if you touch them ok?”

“Ok…” Peter said nervously. 

“It won’t be difficult Pete, you’ll see the difference.”

“Well, this is Peter we’re talking about,” Sirius said, “You never know with him.”

“Oh piss off,” Peter muttered. 

James grabbed Peter's wrist checking his watch. “Four thirty. We better get going then, eh?”

“What, now ?” Peter asked. 

“Of course.” James said, “I’m not going to wait much longer.”

“Let’s do it!” Sirius yelled, jumping up and grabbing Remus’s shoulders.

Remus laughed, stumbling slightly. “Calm yourself, Black…” 

Sirius grinned wickedly. 

"You sure you'll be alright, Loony?" James asked as Remus took a moment to compose himself. He still felt a bit dizzy from the moon, but he had hoped that it wasn't showing on the outside. Obviously, that failed. 

"Yeah," He said blinking the spots away, "This happens sometimes."

"Maybe you're low on iron." Peter supplied, "My mum's low an iron, and she get's dizzy a lot." 

"Yeah but your mum also loses blood every month." James rolled his eyes. 

Remus knit his eyebrows, that was a coincidence- so did he. 

"Ew, Potter!" Sirius groaned, "No one needed to hear that!" 

"Don't be a baby, Black." James ran his hand through his hair, "If your done crying, shall we go?" 

It was easy getting into Filch's office but much harder actually getting out again. Remus had cast a quick Alohomora to open the lock and now he and Sirius were ruffling through drawers, cabinets, and closets as quietly as they could, looking for James’s cloak. It amazed Remus how Sirius Black, the loudest and possibly most obnoxious boy in all of Gryffindor could be so quiet when he actually wanted to be. Remus remembered how Sirius would often hum to himself loudly and sing in the shower and how he just had a naturally loud voice, often saying that he couldn’t actually behave any quieter. Yeah right, Remus thought now, watching as Sirius unlocked a tall wooden closet. Sirius just never bothered with being quiet unless there was something in it for him. 

“Remus!” Sirius suddenly said in a stage whisper, calling Remus’s attention to him. Remus turned. In his hands, Sirius was holding a shimmery piece of fabric, that rippled in the candlelight. The cloak. Remus put his hands up in a thumbs up sign, and he quickly relocked all of the drawers they had opened. 

“I hope James is keeping Filch occupied,” Remus muttered, shutting the office door behind them. 

“Well if he isn’t we’re screwed.” Sirius said, “I already have two detentions this week! I don’t know if my schedule will allow for any more bookings.”

Remus couldn’t help but laugh at that, but his laughter quickly subsided when he saw Sirius’s eyes widen at something behind him.

“Meow?” 

Remus clamped a hand over his mouth, staring at Sirius. They looked at each other dread dawning on each of their faces. 

“Meow.” The small voice went again. Slowly, Remus turned around already knowing what he would see once he looked. 

“Mrs Morris.” Sirius whispered, “Um...Whoopsie?”

“God that’s creepy,” Remus whispered back, as Mrs Morris, Filch’s cat, gave another rather passive-aggressive meow, her yellow lamp like eyes unblinking. 

“We need to leave before-”

“Mrs Morris?” A gruff voice said, footsteps echoing along the hall. 

Sirius grabbed Remus’s shoulders, “Back, back, back.” He chanted as they awkwardly shuffled away from the cat. Remus tripped but Sirius caught his arm and the two of them started running down the hall as quietly as they could which turned out not to be very quiet at all. 

“Ah, it’s alright, Mr Filch she probably just saw a shadow or something. Could you er...continue to tell me a bit about...what kind of breed your cat is?” James’s voice said as a second pair of footsteps followed the first. 

“Get lost before I give you another detention Potter.”

“But er…” James continued to ramble. 

“Bless his soul.” Sirius murmured fondly.

“We’ll thank him later!” Remus pulled Sirius along harder, and the two of them ran down the stairs almost running into Peter. 

“Oh he-!” Peter said brightly, but before he could finish his sentence Sirius pulled his arm along and the three of them continued on a sprint down the hall. 

“Quick, Pete,” Remus panted, “What did you do with the Petals?” 

“Wha-?”

“The Petals Pete!” Remus persisted. 

“Why are we running?”

“PETER!” Sirius bellowed. 

“I flushed them down the toilet on the third floor!”

“You what?” Sirius asked. 

Remus growled uncharacteristically, “ Why would you do that? ” 

“You said to hide them!” Peter said frantically. 

“NOT BY FLUSHING THEM DOWN A TOILET!”

“You said they weren’t important!”

“I DIDN’T MEAN THAT YOU SHOULD DESTROY THEM, PETTIGREW!” 

“In here!” Sirius swiftly pulled Peter and Remus into an empty classroom slamming the door behind them. 

“Oh my god, I’m sorry!” Peter screeched as soon as the door closed, “What have I done?” 

Remus just put his face in his hands and started pacing around the room not saying anything. 

“I’m so sorry! What are we gonna do! Do we need the dinosaur Petals?” Peter continued to cry. 

Remus was still panting slightly but Sirius guessed that it wasn’t actually because of the run. 

“...They’re....not... Dinosaur petals, Peter…” Remus said quietly, his voice shaking slightly, “...they’re expensive… . ingredients… .that we just... stole ...and won’t be able TO RETURN!”

“Woah, woah..” Sirius said awkwardly. Remus had taken a step towards Peter and was now full on shouting, his eyes in small slits, the irises having turned yellow. This was the first time Sirius had ever witnessed Remus losing his cool on Peter, and he wasn’t used to the role of peacekeeper. “Hey, It's alright, Remus,” He said desperately, “….we’ll just....It’s alright.” 

Remus suddenly snapped out of it and stepped back, widening his eyes as if he just realised what he’d been doing. “I’m sorry.” He muttered quietly. Sirius looked down and noticed that he had instinctively stepped in front of Peter and put his hands up, palms facing outward.

It was the way he used to step in front of Regulus when their father got angry.

Sirius could feel his hands get sweaty at the memory. This wasn't about him. This wasn't...Remus wasn't like his father. Or his mother. Or anyone. Remus was Remus. Sirius blinked and looked back at Peter who looked shocked and pale. For a moment it had almost seemed like Remus was going to hit Peter.

Just for a moment.

But that couldn’t be. Remus was never the type to get into unnecessary fights, especially not with one of the other marauders. 

“I’m sorry. I...I’m sorry.” Remus continued to mutter repeatedly. His eyes were fixed on the floor and he wrapped his arms around his skinny torso, his whole body seeming to tremble slightly. 

“Hey, Rem…” Sirius said softly, stepping forward. Remus stepped back again. Sirius stopped. “It’s fine,” Sirius whispered. Remus was still shaking slightly. Sirius tentatively stepped forward and put his hands on Remus’s shoulder pulling him towards him and wrapping him in a soft hug. 

“I’m sorry,” Remus said again, and Sirius could feel his small body tremble slightly in his arms. 

“We all lose our temper sometimes,” said Sirius. But he could feel his heart beating faster. Sure, they all lost their tempers sometimes, especially Sirius who lost his temper twice as much as anyone else, but this had been different.

Remus had been almost...scary.

Sirius pushed that thought down, but a small part of his mind couldn’t help but think how lucky they were that Remus didn’t lose his temper more often. 

When Remus pulled away from Sirius, the taller boy couldn’t help but notice how Remus’s eyes had turned back to their usual warm amber colour. Sirius licked his lips nervously. Maybe he had just imagined Remus’s eyes going yellow. Maybe, it had been a trick of the light, or he had just pictured it in the heat of the moment. But even while he thought this he knew. They had definitely looked different. Remus had looked different. 

“Are you alright?” Sirius asked, after a moment. Remus nodded still not meeting his eyes. 

“Sorry, Pete.” He said. 

Peter shrugged, “Oh….don’t...don’t worry about it.”

“OI!” The door burst open and all three of them jumped back. James jumped in and slammed the door shut behind him, his eyes gleaming the way they always did when the marauders were working on a prank. His black, ever messy hair flew in front of his eyes and the tip of his nose was turning a soft pink. “You lot, that was insane! Filch gave me three detentions and was going to give me a fourth but then he saw that stupid cat of his, and started following it and forgot about me and-” James took a deep breath, having obviously just run, “-I knew that it was probably following you guys so I had to run to the other direction and drop a vase and then circle around him just so that I could-” He took another deep breath, hands on his hips, “What's going on? ...Who died?” 

“No one,” Sirius said defensively. 

“Good, because I just got three detentions from that and I already had one for jinxing Goyle when he said my hair looked stupid yesterday.” 

No one said anything. 

“What's wrong?” James asked, looking around at them. “What happened?”

“Iflushedthepetalsdownthetoilet,” Peter murmured suddenly. 

“You what?” 

“I flushed the petals down the toilet.” He repeated, more clearly this time. 

James looked at the three of them for another few seconds before bursting into laughter. “The dinosaur petals? So?”

Remus grit his teeth, “They’re not dinosaur petals.”

James stopped laughing and rubbed the back of his neck, “Oh. Sorry...Rem.”

There was an awkward pause. Sirius could see Remus from the corner of his eye, and he looked….not good. He was starting to grow paler and paler and he stood in a rigid posture. 

...Was he going to faint?

“Are you ok, mate?” James asked tentatively. 

“Yeah,” Remus said shortly. 

“Maybe...maybe we should go to the hospital wing, eh?”

“No,” Remus said, and Sirius could see that he was sweating slightly. “I’m just feeling...anxious. That’s all.” 

James, Sirius and Peter all exchanged a look. 

“Look, if it’s about the petals, that doesn’t matter Rem, no one will care if they’re gone-”

“Yes, they will!” Remus shouted. 

“Hey…” Sirius said again, very softly. “I have an idea. I know for a fact that they sell those petals at Madam Puddifoots because she put them in tea once, it was gross. We’ll just ask the Prewett twins to get us some, we’ll stick them back in Slughorn's cupboard and boom we’ll be fine.” 

“I don’t...I can’t…” 

“I’ll pay, Rem.” Sirius said, somehow knowing exactly what Remus was going to say. “Don’t worry about it.” 

Remus hesitated but then nodded gratefully. 

“Ok?” Sirius asked. 

“Ok,” Remus said though he was still staring fixedly at the ground.  

“Alright...good.” Sirius looked up and saw both James and Peter staring at him. He shrugged frantically. They shrugged back. 

“Mate…” James started again, “You’re looking a bit peaky. How about we just pop into the infirmary really quick? Just for a check-up?” 

Remus shook his head wildly. 

“Rem…” Sirius said feeling brave, “I know you don’t like to hear this but...James is right, you’re looking a bit ill. We just care about you, ok? We just want to make sure you’re alright.” 

Remus didn’t say anything but he didn’t shake his head either. Sirius looked up at James and Peter again, and once again they shrugged. 

“Alright come on…” Sirius lightly prodded Remus's back. 

Slowly the four of them shuffled out of the room, James and Peter in the front and Sirius and Remus trailing behind them. 

Once they got to the Hospital wing the smells of potions and herbs and disinfectants washed over them and Madam Pomfrey came bustling towards them. She took one long look at Remus and decided what he needed immediately was rest, potion and seclusion. She snatched him away from Sirius and hid him in the far end of the room, muttering to herself. 

“I told him not to overwork himself.” She said, “I supposed I have you three to blame for that. Maraudering all over the place, pulling the innocent boy into your mischief.” 

“Well…” James said. Peter’s eyes widened and frankly, Sirius just felt insulted, but before he could say something smart he thought for a moment, which was admittedly something Sirius didn’t often do before speaking. 

“Wait a minute….” He said, “ When did you tell him that?”

“When I last saw him about two days ago.” Madam Pomfrey answered absentmindedly as if it was obvious.

“Two days ago,” Sirius said, stepping forward, “When he was visiting his mum?” 

Pomfrey stopped short and looked at him, first in surprise then in suspicion. 

“Mr. Black.”

“Why was he here? Does he just hang around after visiting his ill mum?” Sirius asked suspiciously, “Or was he not even visiting her at all? Why-” 

“I suggest the three of you leave and don’t worry about things that aren’t your business.” Madam Pomfrey answered cooly, in a way none of them had ever seen her speak. 

“But-” Sirius started, this time more desperately. 

“Come on, you prat.” James pulled him from behind and the three remaining marauders quickly left the wing, “I don’t want a fourth detention.” 

“Oh shut up-” Sirius started but before he knew it the three of them were in the hallway walking towards the Gryffindor common room. 

“Why are you like that?” James asked irritably, “Can’t you just leave it alone?”

“No.” 

“Well, you should.” 

“Well, I won’t. ” 

“One day,” James said as they started climbing up some stairs and passed a particularly chatty painting, “One day, you’ll find out the truth. And on that day you’ll regret ever wanting to know in the first place.” Peter nodded importantly - as if he even knows what James is talking about - Sirius thought bitterly. 

“So you agree.” Sirius said, “You think Remus isn’t visiting his mother every time he leaves.”

“No!” James said, pointing his finger at him accusingly. “No. Well yes. But no! I mean, yes of course but not like,” He groaned, “Ok yes, the story isn’t adding up but that’s all I’m saying!” 

“Alright,” Sirius said.

“Stop it!” 

“I’m not doing anything.” 

“Leave Remus alone.” 

“Sure.”

“I don’t want to keep telling you this.” 

“Then don’t.” 

“Shut up.” 

_ _ _ _ 

It was only later when the marauders were in bed that Sirius let himself think about Remus again.

Annoyingly he had been thinking about the other boy a lot more than he wanted to, and the act from before wasn’t really helping his case.

Remus was one of his best friends. One of the closest friends he’d ever had. Yet, right then and there in front of his eyes, he had transformed into someone else.

Sirius sighed, and shifted in his bed uncomfortably. He wondered if Evans had found anything yet. Anything that included getting aggressive. Or losing your temper. Or….something.

Sirius shifted yet again.

Maybe he should tell her. How would she know that it was one of Remus’s symptoms if no one told her, right?  Was it one of Remus’s symptoms? Was Remus just an aggressive person? Did his eyes just randomly turn yellow sometimes? Maybe he just lost his temper one time and Sirius was blowing it out of proportion.

Peter snored loudly.

Sirius squeezed his eyes shut.

Remus wasn’t the type to lose his temper about something like that. Sure he got stressed out and anxious a lot but he didn’t take it out on anyone especially not Peter since he had a soft spot for the smaller boy. Especially not after he had made a simple mistake. Just an hour or so before, Remus had told Peter the petals weren’t important yet, he completely freaked out after he found out they were gone.

It wasn’t about the Petals.

Sirius sat up in his bed, his bare feet looking blue in the faint light of the moon, which was clearly visible from his bed. Usually when he lay in bed and he turned to look out the window he had a clear view of Remus’s bunk right there between him and the window. Sirius got up, carefully making sure the floorboards wouldn’t creak underneath his steps. This is stupid, he thought to himself, but it didn’t stop him from silently creeping out of the boys' dormitory and down the stairs. A few moments later he took a deep breath and knocked. 

“Lily?” 

_ _ _ _

Lily never thought she would be awoken at midnight, by Sirius Black knocking on the door of the girls' dormitory, yet here she stood in her pink nightgown, and bunny slippers on, with Marlene standing at her side holding a pocket knife (“it might be a murderer that just sounds like Sirius!”). 

“Don’t we have a defence mechanism that turns the stairs into a slide for this exact reason?” Lily asked, quietly.

“Usually, but I turned it off,” Marlene whispered back. 

“You turned it off? What do you mean you turned it off? You can’t turn it off.”

“Well, apparently you can because I did.”

“Why would you turn it off in the first place?” Lily hissed. 

“Gideon borrowed a hair tie and I told him to just bring it here when he’s done with it-”

“Er...Lily?” The voice called again. Lily groaned quietly and glanced over at Marlene who was still holding her knife firmly. 

“Go on,” Marlene said. “If he tries anything funny, I’ll stab him.” 

“Great.” Said Lily, too tired to really think about that statement. She stepped towards the door. “You do realise you have a wand though right?”

“Oh...fuck.” 

“You know you swear a lot for a thirteen-year-old.” Lily sighed and opened the door just a crack. 

“Hey….” Sirius said awkwardly. The raven-haired boy was wearing emerald silk pyjamas and his hair, which had once again started to grow longer was pulled into a messy bun, and he had shadows under his eyes, yet somehow he still managed to look absolutely beautiful. Lily was instantly jealous. 

“Black.” Lily said, “Do you know what time it is?”

Marlene shuffled forwards and pushed Lily out of the way, pulling the door wider open. “You know you’re fucking lucky that I disabled the slide, I’m not mentally stable enough to deal with you, but given the time that’s understandable. Although usually at this time I’m sleeping and not talking to the heir of the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Sirius stared at them for a moment and Lily thought for a fleeting moment that he was actually going to apologize but instead of doing that he just said simply, “Ancient and Most Noble House of Black.”

“What?”

“Well, you said Most Noble and Ancient but it’s actually Ancient and Most Noble.” Sirius shrugged, “I thought maybe you would want to know.”

“Sirius Black you fucking dweeb tell us what you want,” Marlene said narrowing her eyes at him.

“To talk. To Evans .” 

“Yeah, I got that after you asked for her thirteen times you fucknugget.”

“Fuck off.”

“YOU fuck off!”

“Both of you stop,” Lily said. “What do you want to talk about Sirius?”

Sirius hesitated. “...Remus.”

Marlene gave a dramatic sigh that was honestly worthy of Sirius, “Why is everyone obsessed with this boy?” She turned around and plopped onto her bed, “I’ve reached my max amount of boredom for today, I don't need to hear about this child too."

“Remus isn’t boring,” Sirius said defensively. 

“Come on,” Lily closed the door behind her and left the girls dormitory, heading down stairs to the common room. “Let’s leave Marlene. She gets grumpy when she’s tired. And somewhat dangerous.” 

They sat down near the fire which was still crackling despite the time.

Lily yawned, shivering slightly, “So, what exactly did you want to talk about?”

Sirius shrugged and crossed his arms leaning into himself, “I wanted to see if you found out anything, about Remus.” 

Lily looked away, guilt crawling up in the pit of her stomach, “No.” 

Sirius nodded, and turned away, a pregnant pause filling the air. Lily sensed that he wanted to say something. 

“What is it?” She said. 

“What is what?” 

“What do you want to say?”

Sirius glared at her, “Nothing.”

Lily wasn’t fazed. She had seen Sirius glare at her many many times before and after almost two years of it she couldn’t care less. 

There was another pause until Sirius said scratchily, “Something happened today.” 

“What happened?”

“I...I don’t know.”

Lily said nothing, waiting patiently for him to elaborate. 

“Remus lost his temper, and that's fine, but-” Sirius took a deep breath, “I mean I probably just imagined it but...I thought I saw...I thought….”

“What?”

“What colour are Remus’s eyes?” Sirius asked suddenly. Lily startled. What a ridiculous question. 

“Brown of course.”

“Well, what kind of brown, Evans.” Sirius rolled his eyes. 

Lily’s face heated, “Well…” she thought back, trying to conjure Remus in her mind, “Dark...like chocolate.” Wait that wasn’t right, “No...no more like caramel. Or like honey. Honestly, his eyes aren’t really that brown are they? I guess I would say, amber or…” Lily stopped, “I don’t...I don’t really know. They seem to-”

“-to change,” Sirius said. 

Lily nodded. "But...I mean lot's of people's eyes change colour, it depends on the light reflections and...." 

“....He was angry today, and his eyes just went...bright yellow. He looked...he looked almost like an animal.”

Lily could feel her own eyes grow wide. “Don’t say that Black.” 

“He lost control for a moment.” Sirius continued, “He doesn’t like losing control.” 

“No.” It was true. “Where is he now?”

“Hospital wing.”

“Hospital wing? Why? Is he alright?”

“Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Evans he’s fine. Madam Pomfrey basically kicked us out though. Said she told him not to overwork himself and that it was our fault he did.”

“She told him that? When?”

“Apparently he’d visited her before.” Sirius shrugged, “Maybe after he visited his mum I guess.”

“You don’t actually believe that.”

“Course not.”

Again they sat in silence for a moment. “I’m sorry for waking you, Evans.” Sirius said. 

Lily smiled slightly. She was pretty sure it was the first time ever that Sirius had genuinely apologized to her for something. 

“No problem Black.” 

A few minutes later Sirius left, and Lily was left alone in the dormitory. She lay down on her back her thoughts swirling out of control. Something about her conversation with Sirius didn’t sit right with her. Sure, she had never really believed Remus’s story but now she was just certain that something was going on. And she didn’t want it to continue going on without her. 

Lily was pretty sure she was breaking about ten school rules, and no one was even there to see it.

As she wandered through the empty school grounds she couldn’t help but feel almost powerful. The wind whipped her hair and the grass tickled the bare skin on her ankles that wasn’t covered by her slippers. Once she found a nice spot, Lily once again went back to her position on the ground crossing her legs and reaching to both sides with her arms feeling the grass tickle her arms and back. She looked up at the sky and breathed in the cool breeze letting the light of the moon glow up her surroundings.

It was almost full, the moon, so that when you looked at it from some positions you could trick yourself into thinking it was, except that there was a small bit missing from one of the sides. Must’ve been a few days ago, Lily thought to herself. She twirled a piece of grass in her hands, and remembered how she used to lay in the grass like this with Sev. A part of her wished he was here with her right now, but right when that thought entered her mind she could feel something else pushing it away.

I wish Remus was here with me.

Her breath hitched.

I wish someone was here with me, but instead of  Severus, I wish it was Remus. I wish Remus was here with me.

She felt a small smile playing on her lips, not being able to help the fluttery feeling that was setting in her stomach. It would be quite romantic laying here looking up at the full moon with someone. Although the last full moon Remus had been visiting his mum. I guess, Lily thought somewhat dryly, it wouldn’t be very romantic to be eaten by werewolves.

Lily sat up straight.

Did werewolves exist in the wizarding world?

Yes. Yes of course they did. They hadn’t learnt about them yet since Lily was only in second year but she knew it was part of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Curriculum in third year. Lily stood up, suddenly feeling hyper aware of her surroundings, and then started running towards the school, not heading for the dorm room but instead the library. 

Breaking one more rule tonight wouldn’t hurt anyone. 

_ _ _ _ 

The Witch, Wizard, or in some rare cases even the Muggle that suffers from Lycanthropy will face physical and mental transformations every month on the night of the full moon. On days adjacent to that of the full moon, the subject may act unusually aggressive, possessive, or distracted. Some physical changes may also occur around the time of the full moon, such as an increase in body hair, growth in fingernails, and or change in eye colour.

That’s what the book on Magical Beasts had clearly stated, just the night before. Remus had been unusually aggressive, Sirius had said. He was also often distracted when he came back from visiting his mum. But was he possessive? Lily thought hard....Not that she could seem to remember. Although you didn’t have to have all the symptoms for something to be true, did you? Not that she thought Remus was a-

“Miss Evans, are you listening?” Professor Flitwick interrupted Lily's thoughts. She sat up straighter, abruptly noticing everyone’s eyes on her. Immediately Lily could feel her face heat up as she tried to remember what was going on. Charms lesson. Right. 

“...Yes,” She answered. 

“Oh, well, in that case, I suppose you wouldn’t mind telling me the function of a Skurge Charm.”

Lily could feel her hands trembling slightly. This had never happened before. She was always paying attention, always. Frustratingly, and desperately Lily racked her brain for an answer. 

Skurge charm, Skurge charm, Skurge charm. She had heard it before....she had read about it before...but what-

“But Professor,” An aristocratic voice said loudly, “That’s such an easy question-”

Lily could feel her face heat up even more as she watched Sirius, who had been the one to speak up, turn in his chair so that he was facing her. Just like everyone else in the class he was watching her intensely, but unlike anyone else, he was pretending as if it weren't a big deal in the slightest. 

“-I mean Lily obviously knows that the Skurge charm frightens ghosts, and cleans ectoplasm.” 

She didn’t know that. 

Lily’s eyes widened and she turned to Professor Flitwick, nodding quickly.

“In fact, she had just used it on Peeves a few days ago.” Sirius continued to drawl.

She had not. “Yes. I had.” 

For a second she and Sirius maintained eye contact, and she tried to convey her thankfulness through a blink of an eye but before she could contemplate whether he understood Sirius turned back around in his chair and the class continued as if nothing had happened. Flustered, Lily turned her attention to the front of the classroom, trying to listen to the lesson but her mind was elsewhere.

....“Some physical changes may also occur around the time of the full moon, such as an increase in body hair, growth in fingernails, and changing colour of the eye.” ....

Eyes changing colour were a symptom. Nervously Lily brought a finger to her mouth and started biting on her nail. Remus had brown eyes. Except that he didn’t. Because sometimes Remus had yellow eyes. Or orange eyes. Because Remus was a-

“Lily, class ended.” 

Lily’s head snapped up and she realised that the classroom was completely empty except for the marauders (minus Remus who was still in the hospital wing) and Marlene and Dorcas. 

“There you are,” Marlene said, teasingly though Lily could detect a hint of worry in her voice. “Are you ok?”

“Tired,” Lily said stiffly. She started packing up her quill and parchment which were both unused. “I’m going to go to the astronomy tower early today. I want to ask- I want to talk to Professor Sinistra.”

Marlene and Dorcas exchanged a look, “Um ok.” 

“Don’t wait up for me.”

“...Alright.”

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Dorcas asked. 

“Yes.”

Lily picked up her bag and started hurrying out of the room, bumping into Sirius who was helping Peter dump his belongings in his bag. 

“Sorry,” She muttered and was about to head off when she stopped and said somewhat painfully, “Thanks, by the way, Black. I didn’t know the charm. Obviously.”

Sirius shrugged, “No problem. It was my fault you’re tired today anyway.” 

Lily nodded, although it wasn’t really true. Sure he had woken her initially but after that, she had stayed awake for hours when he hadn’t. Lily started to stumble backwards again and bumped into a desk. Wow, sleep deprivation really didn’t suit her. 

“You alright, Evans?” James asked, and although Lily wasn’t looking at him she could hear a smirk in his voice. Patronizing jerk. 

“Don’t talk to me, Potter.”

_ _ _ _ 

Lily really didn’t have to talk to her astronomy teacher as she already knew the answer she was going to get, but a part of her was still hoping it wasn’t true. Clinging to the fact, that maybe, just maybe she had gotten it all wrong. 

“The full moon?” Professor Sinistra, said after Lily had asked her about it. “Well, I’m glad that you’re experiencing more curiosity towards this topic, Miss Evans! Let’s see... the full moon was on the twentieth this month.” 

Lily’s breath hitched. “Oh. Ok. Great.”

The twentieth. She counted back the days in her mind and sure enough, Remus had been gone on the twentieth. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she had counted incorrectly. But Lily knew she wasn’t wrong. Because Remus was a-

“Is that all I can do for you today, Miss Evans?” 

“Yes. Yes, thank you.” Lily got up hurriedly and ran out of the tower, not stopping until she reached the Gryffindor Common Room.

She knew.

She knew where Remus went every month.

She finally knew. 

Because Remus Lupin was a werewolf.