One
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a hungry vegan must be in want of a ripe avocado. Merlin was guilty as charged, needing something decadent and rich to immerse his senses in. Nut butter and banana sandwiches weren’t going to cut it for him this morning, and he knew Gwen and Gaius always saved him the ripe avo’s that were too far gone to sell with the hard ones. Hallelujah! cried Merlin’s craving bug, practically drooling at the thought of the grocery haven. It was the only place that boasted a full organic section; an in-house bakery and Merlin’s own favourite – the juice bar.
Don’t get him wrong though, it definitely had its drawbacks too. The instalment of a vegan section was long overdue, having only been put in a few months ago. And the cashew cheese wasn’t restocked often enough, meaning that Merlin got into scuffles with other hungry vegans. It wasn’t a good look – especially when he ran into them on campus at university only to be greeted by their angry recognition as the cashew cheese bandit.
Merlin thought of the pasties Leon put aside for him every afternoon and his stomach growled. He definitely had to get down to Camelot before the lunchtime rush. Merlin chucked on his worn-in Doc Martens and threw on a windbreaker over a turtleneck with jeans, a belt, and a scarf. He probably looked like a new-age millennial twat, with his macramé shopping bag and wide rimmed glasses, but that was exactly the aesthetic Merlin was going for.
Checking that he had petted his cat Beans, and hadn’t forgotten his reusable coffee cup, Merlin strapped it all into his bike’s saddlebag. The finishing touches were a helmet and high-vis vest (safety first!) and Merlin was on his way.
Veganism wasn’t just a diet; it was a bloody lifestyle. An eco-friendly, sustainability-based lifestyle that definitely made Merlin morally superior to his omnivore cohabitants of this earth. He was, for all intents and purposes, a modern-day Disney princess.
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Merlin made his way through the front of shop with his shopping list in-hand, complete with pencil and shopping basket. His first stop was to the alternative milk section, so he could strategically place his heavy cartons at the bottom of his basket. Then it was off to the cold section, the fresh produce, and finally the bakery. Everything was going off without a hitch when he overheard a scuffle by the registers.
“Excuse me!” a crotchety old dragon shouted at Gwen from over the counter. He jammed his index finger at her accusatorily, as if she were personally responsible for original sin itself. “This is highway robbery young lady, £3.49 for a punnet of strawberries! I am a pensioner. And there is a mouldy one in here. You could kill someone. I demand the manager immediately.”
Guinevere being the kindest and most generous soul known to mankind, went to help him without hesitation. “Oh, I am so sorry sir! Sometimes the boys will drop a punnet, bruising the berries. The moisture makes them mould, you see. I can personally get you a perfect punnet from the back if you’d like?”
He totally ignored the angel in front of him, making Merlin roll his eyes.
“£3.49! No thank-you madam, I bought them last time for £2.89. Why are they £3.49? Where is the manager of this establishment?!”
Gwen’s patience was a testament to her beautiful heart. “Sir, I do apologise for any inconvenience caused, but strawberries are in season from May to September. They don’t grow naturally in October, so they are much more expensive to farm and to buy. They are either grown hydroponically indoors or imported from overseas. Perhaps you’d like some raspberries? They’re in season at the moment, for only £2.49.”
Not even the old man could resist Gwen’s natural charm. She had a way of making even the prickliest ones turn soft. He grumbled his consent. With a sparkle in her eye, she expertly rung them up, bagged them and placed them in his hands with a receipt, and smiling all the while. It wasn’t a smug smile, just a genuine one. His face was beet red as she wished him a good day and said that she hoped to see him next time. And she meant it. Merlin called out to her, not quite managing to catch her eye.
“Do you say that to all the men that walk in here then?” he had a hand on his hip, grinning at her from ear to ear.
“Oh Merlin! I’m so happy to see you!” she looked around quickly, before running out to greet him in the shop.
“Come in for the ripe avocados then?” she smiled knowingly.
Merlin smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head, knowing his own fondness for the ripened fruit. It was just as well because Gwen had obviously saved some for him. Merlin was so grateful for the special treatment – honestly, it took years to drum up even the slightest banter at the supermarket. But Camelot Organics™ had more of a family vibe. He could honestly trust to ask for vegan options and be catered for with respect and dignity. Not like some barista’s who treated his lactose intolerance as a fad and poured him full-cream milk regardless. Anyway, even if he wasn’t lactose intolerant, why should that matter? If he requested soy, he should be given soy.
It made Merlin feel warm and fuzzy inside and he mock whispered to Gwen with contentment “and did you save me any of the cashew cheese?”
She laughed heartily and grabbed him by the hand, leading him over toward the back of the store. She quickly disappeared behind a pair of swinging doors leading to the storeroom and staff room, leaving Merlin standing on his own. He pretended to casually peruse some of the dried herbs and pastas in front of him, not wanting to stick out like a sore thumb.
Even though Merlin did stop in a few times each week, he’d only come to know a few of the people working here. There was Gwen, the retail manager who often worked registers, and Leon the artisan baker. Of course, it helped that his Uncle Gaius was the practicing naturopath next door – always sending him in and out for some dried herb or another. Sometimes Leon would take a break from the bakery and deliver them to Gaius, covered from head to toe in baker’s flour.
And there was a dark-haired woman, with impeccable taste and stunning green eyes. She sometimes stood out the front of the store with security, texting in her brand-new Motorola Razr touch screen flip model. Merlin hadn’t even caught her name, nor given her his, but she’d looked up once briefly enough to say “Oh, you’re Gwen’s friend, aren’t you? Good to see you.” She’d flashed him a brilliant smile, before apologising and going back to answer her phone.
Gwen came back out of storage with Merlin’s ripe avocados and his cashew cheese, making for a very happy vegan. They were all laughs and smiles, gossiping and chatting away for a bit as Merlin made his way around the store, collecting all his things. Gwen lost herself in chatter, nattering away without a care in the world before she got self-conscious and quickly nose-dived the conversation. Merlin was totally used to it.
“Oh, my goodness, you poor thing! Here I am harassing you while you’re trying to sort yourself. You don’t need me prying into your shopping Merlin, I’m so sorry.” It was her customer service voice shining through, not wanting to be overbearing. But honestly, Merlin was wondering when they’d hang out away from Camelot anyway. They were practically best friends.
Merlin laughed, “What’s the issue? My privacy? You’re only going to fondle everything I’m going to eat for the next few days as you scan it and weigh it up to charge me. Don’t be ridiculous. We need to do coffee sometime anyway.”
Gwen gave him a grateful smile and they kept on. “Ohmygosh, yes! Have you seen the new eyeful that’s opened up shop across from us?”
Merlin raised his brows, perking his mouth in a comical ‘o’.
“New shop owner? Bit of a snack, is he?”
“He’s a three-course meal!” Gwen squealed in delight.
“Details!” Merlin shouted, reaching for a cabbage.
“I don’t know his name yet, but he’s the barista across from us and Gaius’ Naturopathy.”
“Oh Lance!” Merlin said with faint recognition. “Bronzed skin, brown eyes and beautiful voice? Makes you want to drown yourself in coffee just so you can speak to him?”
“Great buns!” Gwen piqued up loudly when suddenly a voice from behind her interrupted.
“Pardon?”
Gwen cried, “Great buns Leon has baked today! Fresh! Let me go and get those for you Merlin!” she spun around and looked as if butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth. “Oh, hello Gwaine, fancy seeing you here in the produce section – why aren’t you out the back? NevermindIdontneedtoknow!” she called as she scurried off.
Merlin blinked haphazardly and took in the Adonis before him.
“Oh, you’re Gwen’s friend.” He said simply, making Merlin wonder if he should just have his name changed permanently by deed poll. “I’m Gwaine, nice to meet you.”
Merlin did a very obvious once over, taking in the black fitted pants, polished shoes, white shirt, and black apron.
“I’ve never seen you here before.” He said dumbly, mentally cursing himself for being as smooth as chunky peanut butter.
Gwaine chuckled, picking up after Merlin’s social inadequacy with grace and ease. “I’d wager you’d remember meeting me if you had.”
Wait a minute. Merlin’s brain did a double take. Was tall, dark, and thicc with a double-c talking to him?
Merlin smiled with a faint blush creeping up on his cheeks. “Uh, yeah, something like that. You don’t hang around the front of the shop, do you?”
Gwaine laughed. “No, I got put on produce today. Elyan is sick.”
But before Merlin could better acquaint himself with ten reasons why he loved Camelot, including but not limited to Gwaine’s straining biceps, Gwen came rushing back.
“Hi Merlin, here are those BUNS I was talking about before, Leon’s buns! The ones he baked today, fresh. Sorry Gwaine, gotta go, see ya!” she ushered Merlin safely out of harms’ way, ignoring him as he fought to look over his shoulder and catch one more glimpse of Gwaine the lady killer.
“Gee, thanks Gwen,” Merlin mumbled in her ear as she carried him off to the registers, “now Mr. Biceps thinks I’m into Leon’s buns.” Gwen groaned, barely containing her embarrassment.
“I’m sorry Merlin, I don’t want the boys making fun of me. They’re so full of banter, they’ll never let it down. They’ve been pestering me for ages about who I like.”
Merlin huffed in understanding, knowing exactly what it was like to be on the outside of a room full of testosterone filled beef-head, heterosexual men. “Alright, let’s check this stuff through, I’ll come back tomorrow for pasties. Can’t face Leon just yet.”
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As was customary, Merlin came home having forgotten something. In truth, he had been tempted by the packaged nuts in Camelot but hadn’t indulged himself. It was after all, the right thing to do. He was a morally superior being and had to carry the weight of that responsibility at all times. He would have to collect all of his glass canisters and take them into another store to fill them directly with package-free nuts.
He needed to talk to Gwen about installing a pick’n’mix set up at Camelot. Apart from wine and IPA beer, it was the only thing they didn’t have at Camelot Organics™.
Sighing, Merlin went go to prepare his vegan lasagne for him and Gaius, knowing the old man probably wouldn’t even know the difference.
Texting Gwen, he set up a time for them to have coffee the next week, and then they could roam around the shops and properly chitchat. And hopefully cop an eyeful of Lance or Gwaine while they were at it.