Camelot Organics ™

Gwen and Merlin had met up outside of Gaius’ Naturopathy for coffee the following week. He was wearing well-worn reeboks with his black, torn jeans rolled up, expertly exposing his grey bamboo socks. Over that, he had a forest green knit jumper, layered under a sporty vintage windbreaker – topped off with classic red scarf. Truth be told, he was more vague than vogue, but he made it work. He wouldn’t tout the word ‘hipster’, but ‘alt indie sportswear’ was definitely in the mix. Gwen was gorgeous, wearing a Parisienne chic outfit fashionable enough to give any woman a run for their money.

They both hugged when they saw each other, and despite any lingering apprehension, it disappeared as soon as they got going. Merlin and Gwen gobbled up sentences at miles per minute, barely paying attention to anything else around them.

To the untrained eye, and the unassuming gaydar, they might have looked closer than friends. Luckily, Merlin hadn’t been mistaken for hetero since he was in middle school. Also, despite them both being similarly attractive and well-dressed, they had very defined, differing aesthetics. Merlin had a very carefully curated Instagram feed. His colours were Blackwater, Duck Egg Blue, Armada and Guild Grey. Enough said.

“Do you want to go in and check on Gaius?” Gwen asked sweetly as the passed the Naturopathy.

Merlin shuddered. “Um, maybe when we’re done. Gaius will no doubt have at least ten errands for me to run.”

Gwen laughed. “Oh Merlin, he really is no trouble. I don’t mind at all.”

Merlin deadpanned. “Thanks Gwen, really. But I do mind. No thank you. You go collect all his herbal things and take them in if you love him so much.”

Gwen raised a brow at her friend. “Um, excuse me. Rude.”

They both laughed.

Winding around the shops, Merlin and Gwen really were a picture. The first thing they’d put on the agenda was to go into Lance’s café, aptly named ‘The Bean Hive’. It featured a bespoke bumble bee buzzing around a flower; the inside of the flower was a coffee bean. Merlin loved it. But his Vegan nose twitched a little bit at the thought of the exploitation of bees, which was undeniably, unacceptable. Controlling himself, Merlin took a deep breath and willed himself not to think of the ramifications of capitalising on bees, and they both walked into the cafe. Merlin had already met Lance on a few occasions and they had spoken for at least twenty minutes about different fair-trade blends of coffee.

“Oh, hey Merlin,” Lance started as he looked up from the machine, “soy latte today or have you come in to trick me?”

“Can I have a soy chai with loose leaf and honey?” he probed.

“Absolutely not, but I can add agave syrup.” Lance quipped full of humour.

“And if I asked for diary milk?”

“I’d say no because you’re pretty darn lactose intolerant, veganism aside.”

Merlin beamed up like a lighthouse and it was clear he and Lance had a good thing going. Gwen smiled awkwardly from behind Merlin and smacked him in the kidney. Merlin let out an involuntary oopft before turning to glare behind him. Gwen clearly wasn’t amused. Merlin mouthed a ‘sorry’ to her and turned back around.

“And for your friend?” Lance raised a brow.

“Oh, sorry Lance, this is Gwen. Gwen, Lance. We’re good friends.” Merlin smiled airily. He was snapped out of his dazed stupor as Gwen pushed him to the side and stood forward, glowing confidently.

“Yes, Merlin is a customer of mine at Camelot Organics.”

Merlin frowned. “Yeah but we are good friends.”

Gwen’s smile grew tight and her eyes shifted to the side to glare at Merlin. Mind you, she was still smiling and hadn’t moved a single muscle in her face. It was actually quite unnerving. But for Lance perhaps, it was love at first sight.

“Merlin, you never told me you had such beautiful friends.” Lance said with all the flattery in the world without sounding ridiculous, something Merlin would never be able to accomplish.

Gwen laughed prettily and tucked a curl behind her ear, perfectly replicating the ancient mating ritual of hetero-normative society. Lance continued smiling and knocked over a metal jug of milk, disrupting the display and cementing himself in her affections. He found her forward, bold, and beautiful. She found him endearing, irresistible and mysterious. Merlin watched in awe at the successful interaction. He truly was a modern Aphrodite. He just needed to be nude in a seashell complete with floating cherubs.

Merlin cleared his throat, taking his role in the display very seriously. “Uh, um, yes, well. Can I grab a soy chai with agave nectar and do you have any vegan treats in the cake display?”

Lance dragged his eyes away from Gwen long enough to nod appreciatively and respond. “Actually Merlin, I baked a Vegan raspberry-coconut slice for you to try especially. I want to engage every customer that walks in here, and I think inclusivity is key. Would you mind being my guinea pig?”

Merlin was rapt. “Of course! Thank you so much.”

In true fashion, Lance was not one to miss an opportunity. “Of course, and Gwen? I don’t know if you are vegan, but would you try it too? And then I can know if it appeals to both markets.”

Gwen smiled as brightly as the sun in the sky. “I’d love to Lance – and could I also please have a cappuccino?”

Lance nodded quickly, and Merlin went to pay – but was waved off with vehemence on Lance’s part. Gwen’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline and she gripped Merlin by the bicep, dragging him over to the furthest table away in the café. Once they were safely out of Lance’s earshot, she squealed in what can only be described as pure glee.

“Ohmygod Merlin, ohmygodohmygod did you see him? And when I looked at him and then he knocked over the milk?!” Gwen recounted as if Merlin hadn’t just been right there.

Merlin was gay, but he wondered if he had missed something. Were boys supposed to be this thrilling? It had definitely been too long. Maybe he would download Grindr when he got home. Nonetheless, Merlin was The Supportive Friend™ and had already pictured what Gwen and Lance’s babies would look like.

“He’s definitely into you.” Merlin added for Gwen’s benefit.

“Yes! I thought so too. Definitely. Unless…” Gwen worried her bottom lip between her teeth, before mustering the courage to voice her thoughts. “You don’t think he’s gay, do you?”

If Merlin had have been drinking coffee, he would’ve spat it out everywhere. Thankfully, he had yet to publicly disgrace himself like that. Mind you, the operative word was yet.

“Uh, no Gwen. I just witnessed the way he looked at you. It made him spill milk. That’s his literal job, to heat up milk and not drop it on the floor.”
Gwen looked as though she needed extra convincing. “Are you sure Merlin?”

As if on cue, Lance himself appeared, hastily setting down two raspberry-coconut vegan slices with their accompanying hot beverages. He didn’t stay to chat this time, instead running back up to the front counter where other customers were waiting to be served. Gwen gasped, before pulling Merlin to look at the perfectly imprinted chocolate love heart on the top of her cappuccino. There could be no doubt.

________________________________________________________________________________________

Merlin and Gwen had absolutely exhausted themselves through walking and talking. They had decided to call it an afternoon after they’d bought a few different things and drained nearly every avenue of conversation. They’d agreed to meet up at Gwen’s apartment for dinner the next week, so all in all, Merlin considered himself a socialite and a matchmaker.

After they had gone their separate ways, Merlin roamed into see Gaius. He wanted to double check he didn’t need any help closing up shop before they went home together. Yes, it seemed fairly odd that a bespoke trendsetter such as Merlin was residing with a geriatric Naturopath – but Merlin had known Gaius since he was born. Come to think of it, even in Merlin’s earliest memories Gaius looked ancient…

Snapping out of it, he walked over the threshold into the Naturopathy. With no children of his own, Merlin had come to see himself as Gaius’ next-of-kin. He wouldn’t exactly say son, due to their age difference and their closeness, but honestly it was about as close to a father-son relationship that Merlin had ever come. And when Merlin came to the city to study graphic design, it made rent so much cheaper. Gaius already owned his own house, and Merlin just had to contribute to the daily costs. It was a win-win as far as Merlin was concerned. Gaius had been relieved for the company, too. But in all honesty, sometimes it was a drag. Merlin hadn’t brought a guy home in forever. Not that Gaius minded that sort of thing, but Gaius was, well, Gaius. Merlin shuddered at the memory of his first few weeks away from his hometown. He’d forgotten to tell Gaius he was expecting company, and Gaius opened Merlin’s bedroom door on them to offer them a sleeping remedy.

Gaius was working behind the practitioner’s bench with a mortar and pestle, looking very concentrated. Merlin made his presence known before coming around the counter, not wanting to risk his ire.

“Hi Gaius, just me. Need a hand with anything?”

Gaius didn’t look up from what he was doing, just kept going in the same orderly fashion. He pointed to a pile of dried calendula. “Pass me that will you?”

Merlin rolled his eyes and handed it over. “I’m good Gaius, thanks for asking. Nice to see you too.”

Gaius snorted and kept working. “I didn’t ask, but it is nice to see my gallivanting nephew for once. Finally remembered little old me. Just thought you’d stop by after you were finished spending quality time with everyone else?.”

Merlin sucked his teeth and checked his manicured nails. “Oh yeah, sure. That’s funny. You’re a real comedian Gaius.”

Gaius sighed, “Thank goodness, maybe now I can close up this old Naturopathy and do something worthwhile.”

“Well, when you’re done bickering like an old woman, can I do anything for you? Or do I humbly exist to merely watch you at work?”

Gaius chuckled and pressed his glasses back up his nose. “Dear boy, your existence is anything but humble. Do you mind buying some rosemary from next door?”

Merlin cocked a brow. “Anti-inflammatory?”

Gaius smiled. “You’re getting quite good.”

“Watch out old man, I’m here to steal your thunder.”

Gaius quirked a single brow. “You wish.”

They both laughed. It was a good dynamic.

“Alright, I’ll be back.”

“Too right.”

_____________________________________________________________________

Merlin jogged into Camelot to grab some rosemary, despite the fact that it grows out of the back of pubs, clubs, bars, and diners everywhere. Merlin was pretty sure it also grew inside sceptic tanks, gutters, bins and even letterboxes. It’s amazing it wasn’t classified as a delicious, noxious weed.

Obviously, Gwen wasn’t in today because he’d just been with her and had coffee.

Right, no worries. He knew where the fresh herbs were kept. He pulled his macramé bag up over his shoulder, exposing to the trained eye – a reusable coffee cup, reusable stainless-steel utensils, a Google Pixel 3XL, a sketch pad and a copy of Till Lindemann’s’ On Quiet Nights. If there was anything Merlin liked, you had better bet you’ve probably never heard of it. Translated German poetry was definitely an acquired aesthetic. Or as the kids would say, a mood.

Merlin zigzagged and got to the produce section as a staff member was spraying the greenery with cold ice-water to keep it fresh. He saw them all, but not the one he was after. He went through them mentally in his head over and over again. Parsley, thyme, basil, sage, mint, coriander, lemon grass, oregano, chives, tarragon, dill; but where the hell was the rosemary?

He looked up, noting that every single person who worked here must be hired solely based on their ability to look like a model. He was young, boyish even, with rose-petal lips and pale blue eyes. He didn’t even look old enough to be working. Had Merlin been funding an institution that supported child labour?

“Um, excuse me?”

The boy looked like a china doll with his hooded lids and full lips. Merlin was honestly astounded.

“Hello Sir, how can I help you?”

Merlin’s eye twitched. He knew the kid was young, but really? ‘Sir’? Merlin was queer, he wasn’t supposed to age.

“I was just wondering if you had any Rosemary left?”

The boy wandered round to look in front of Merlin, irritating him more. ‘Boy, imagine if I’d also used both of my eyes to check the shelf’ he thought, but definitely didn’t say out loud. Merlin was sassy, but also a pussy.

“It doesn’t look it”.

No shit, Merlin thought.

“I know it sounds weird, but maybe you should go down and check at the butchery. Sometimes Gwaine takes it off the stock pallets and it never makes it to shelf.”
Merlin squinted, making note of his nametag – so that he could be avoided for the rest of eternity. ‘Mordred’. Who even names a newborn baby Mordred?

“Butchery?”

Mordred smiled, pointing to the very back. “Sorry, Deli. Same difference. Lots of people don’t realise we have one, makes Arthur so mad.”

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose, he really just wanted rosemary. “Does he realise this is literally a fruit and veg shop or?”

Mordred let out a petite laugh that was gentle and rang like windchimes. Merlin was very, very annoyed, and using all of his capacity not to be charmed by this unattended minor.

“Yeah, well he is a butcher.” Mordred shrugged. “Just down the end there, take a ticket or shove up to the front. They probably kept it all for themselves.”

Merlin quipped a “thanks” and was on his way. A bloody deli? Merlin’s heart sank. Camelot Organics™ was his safe place, but now it sold dead animal flesh. He’d have to consult with Gaius as to whether or not it was still ethically viable to shop here. He also couldn’t believe that he’d never spotted the Deli before.

It was tucked toward the back, between the cold section and the bakery, so he’d definitely had to walk past it before. Dumbfounded, he walked up to the cabinets and swallowed, willing himself not to look at what was in there.

“Um, helloexcusemedoyouhaveanyrosemary?” he verbally spewed at the back of someone.

Unfortunately, it would be the back of the most beautiful man in Camelot. Striking blue eyes, and full lips – but unlike Mordred, there was no softness in the face. A sharp, crystal cut jaw and blonde tresses that looked like they’d been spun from gold.

He’d turned around and looked like a deer caught in the headlights. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?”

Merlin swallowed and tried again, nervously shaking this time. “Is there rosemary back here?”

The butcher’s eyebrows shot up and his mouth hung open slightly, exposing the delicious pout of his lower lip. “Uh, not generally.”

“Mordred sent me.” Merlin tried again. He didn’t come this far, and desecrate his sacred vow as an eco-warrior and vegan, to leave empty handed. “Please. He said you have it.”

The butcher called out, his eyes not leaving Merlin. “Gwaine?” he yelled, with a tight whine.

“Arthur?” was Gwaine’s reply.

“Did you take all the rosemary again?”

Gwaine’s non-reply was all the confirmation that he needed. “Just one second.”

And he was gone. Merlin was hyperventilating, looking at the different textures and colours in front of him. It was physically sickening. Pinks, reds, and bloods stood out at him, even though he told himself not to look. But the guilt was overwhelming. There sat all of Merlin’s friends in the cold glass cabinets ready for human consumption.

Arthur came back out with rosemary in hand, still eyeing Merlin wearily. His mouth was a tight line and his brow bone was set into a frown. “Here you go, sorry for the inconvenience.”

Merlin thought he would be better than this. Thought he could handle it. But he reached out for the rosemary and it was too much. He was panting heavily and shaking, but dots started to blur his vision.

“Nope.” He said. It was final.

The next thing he saw was black as he hit the cool floor.