The beach is warm, the sand soft beneath their toes. Triss, Renfri, and Jaskier run to the waves, while Yennefer and Geralt are left behind watching them, just like how things were written. They hold the bags and the float toys, trying to find a good place to sit down at the beach. The water sparks beyond them, looking so blue and so perfect. Geralt can feel something rise in him, but he forces it down. It would do him no good to voice it, to put a name to what was eating him from the inside out.
This is a simple episode to get through. No work, no drama, nothing. Geralt watches as Jaskier splashes water at Triss, who squeals and laughs with him, despite the fact they barely know each other.
“Idiots,” Yennefer murmurs, watching the pair fondly. Geralt nods softly, trying to avert his eyes away from the curve of Jaskiers spine, or the brilliant blue of his eyes. It isn’t his place to look. It isn’t written in.
“You idiot,” Yennefer mutters, held safe in Jaskiers arms, head nestled on his shoulder. The sun is setting behind them, waves crashing onto the sandy shore. Pinks and purples and oranges swirl in the sky, turning the beach into a picture perfect snapshot. Geralt can already see the scene before him in fan art and fanfictions, redrawn and re branded as something else. That was how this works between them. “You could have died.”
“I have you to watch out for me,” Jaskier replies, pulling away, looking deep into her eyes like she was the most perfect creature to ever exist. He is dripping wet after jumping into the sea. Yennefer follows after him to make sure he didn’t drown, the way she always did. “Yennefer, I know that you’ll always protect me. How could I ever be scared when you’re near me?”
Yennefer's eyes widen, before she looks away. Even from across the beach Geralt can see the way she flushes red at his words, the way she is expected to. “I won’t be around forever,” she counters, trying to sound snappish and hide her feelings. Jaskier sees right through her act, and smiles fondly.
“I’ll follow you wherever you go,” Jaskier whispers, cupping her head in his hands. He gasps softly when he sees her violet eyes sparkling in the sun. Her dress swirls around her as the wind picks up, the salty air blowing around them like a cocoon. Geralt narrows his eyes from behind the tree and clenches his fists to prevent himself from running over there and ripping them away from each other.
“You’re so stupid,” Yennefer replies, looking at his lips. Her voice is breathy, and both Geralt and Jaskier know she means something else. Jaskier gets the hint and gently leans in, ready to place his lips against hers. Geralt knows the drill; he knows what he has to do next.
“Jaskier,” he grunts, emerging from the trees, ruining their moment. They both look at him angrily, and he pretends to ignore it, pretending not to know what was about to happen between them. “It's time to go. The class is waiting on you. Same to you Yennefer.”
Yennefer turns to Jaskier, pulling away slowly. “I”ll see you soon, idiot,” she says, trying to sound normal, like they hadn’t just had their big moment destroyed. Geralt can feel the viewers frustration through the screen, but that was how it worked. They teased and they taunted, dangling the big reveal before leaving off on a cliffhanger, baiting the viewer into watching more.
Jaskier laughs. “I’ll look for you,” he promises, walking over to where Geralt was. Yennefer turns to walk the other way, and Jaskiers eyes follow her, before walking away with Geralt. Their shoes leave footprints in the sand as the episode ends and the screen goes black, playing the ending theme. Geralt can feel the exact moment when the viewers stop watching, when they click the next episode on the screen. Geralt prepares himself to see it all again and sighs.
The opening theme song plays again, just like it always does in the morning. It echoes through all their heads, a faint call in the wind, filling the silence with a catchy beat. Triss walks by, absently humming it under her breath, getting into position. Geralt watches her walk away, her mini plaid skirt swirling around her legs.
The theme ends, and the bell rings, the beginning of the episode starting. Geralt walks down the empty hallways leisurely, holding some books in his arms. He hears footsteps run after him and he sighs, before turning around. Jaskier almost runs right into him, stopping just in time before he topples them both over. Jaskier is excited, practically trembling, and Geralt feels something melt inside his chest.
“Geralt, thank god you’re here,” he says, and Geralt doesn’t make a comment about how he always is, waiting for Jaskier’s cue. Instead he watches the way Jaskiers lips move when he talks, the way his eyes light up when he is excited. “Do you think that Yennefer is avoiding me?”
Yes, she definitely is, thinks Geralt. That is how this works; they always have a moment, then Yennefer will freak out, running away from him, and Jaskier will win her back. It happens over and over again, ever since Jaskier first moved to the school. This is how everything works. Geralt hates it.
“Jaskier,” he sighs, hefting his books. “I have bigger problems than your silly love issues. As class president, I actually have useful things to do then listen to you.”
“But Geralt,” pouts Jaskier and Geralt does not think it’s cute, “I need to win her back.”
And what good will that do, Geralt thinks. You’ll just lose her again because that was how this works. This is how the script is written, this is how your character works. Pushing and pushing until you get what you want.
“You need to get to class,” he says instead, walking away. Jaskier stands in the middle of the empty hallway, looking unfairly betrayed. “Ask someone else to give you advice,” he calls over his shoulder.
One, two, three. Just like he knows it will happen. He feels a hand on his shoulder, spinning him around, and then he is face to face with Jaskier. His eyes bore into Geralts, and Geralt wonders if his inner thoughts really are hidden or if Jaskier can hear them loud and clear, almost like Geralt is the narrator of the story.
“What problem do you have with Yennefer?” Jaskier questions, looking so angry. This is it. Their big fight. Geralt doesn't want to do it, but he complies anyway. The script is already written, the words already penned down. He has no power to change it, and by gods he wishes he does.
“I just think you can do better,” he says, stepping out of Jaskier’s reach just like he knew he should. “She doesn’t care about you the way you do her.”
“That isn’t true,” Jaskier snaps. “She just needs time to get to know me. You don’t get anything between us.”
“I know she doesn’t give a flying fuck about you,” Geralt counters. The bell rings again; they will both be late to class. The teachers will glare at them and give them punishments together. Jaskier probably wouldn’t even go to class. He’ll probably run across the street to the school in the other district, where Yennefer is sitting in her own classroom. He’ll win her back and she’ll love him again before things are messed up once more.
“How do you know? You don’t know her.”
“I know her better than you if you think she actually cares about you,” Geralt yells. He can see the tension rising; he can feel the viewers pause the show to try and process what is happening between two supposed best friends. There is slight pressure in his chest, and he can’t move his hands or throat.
The button is pressed again and things resume.
“You love her,” Jaskier says quietly, realisation dawning in his eyes, and Geralt remembers. It seems so long ago, the episode when Yennefer had gone to Jaskiers house to return a sweater and Geralt was there. They talked and he fell in love, a plot device to the show, a ship war to be fought over who Yennefer should end up with, Jaskier or him. It doesn’t even matter what Geralt's true feelings are, whether he does love her or not; they all know who she’ll be with at the end and it isn’t him. “You bastard.”
“You’re crazy,” Geralt hisses.
“Stay away from Yennefer,” Jaskier says, eyes narrowing. “And stay away from me. I can’t believe I ever thought you were my friend.”
Jaskier stalks away, and Geralt is left behind, a false feeling of anger burning in his chest, and a longing to run after him and fix his mistakes. He wonders which one is the true feeling inside him and which one was written in to make their fight more believable.
Later at home he sits at his couch. He doesn’t have any hobbies, none that were created for him, so he sits still and thinks. He tries to keep his strict adherence to the script, and tries to imagine Yennefer kissing his lips softly, lying beneath him at night. He tries to imagine the way she would blush if Geralt ever kissed her, but somehow he can’t. His thoughts slip to Jaskier instead, thinking about how lovely he would look with rosy cheeks and kiss bitten lips….
A sharp searing pain erupts in his head and Geralt thinks of nothing at all.
There are four types of characters Geralt knows; the protagonist, the antagonist, the side character, and the love interest.
The protagonist is the main character, the person the show is centered on. Nothing happens without them knowing or being involved. Without them, the story doesn’t exist. Without them, the story can’t be told.
Jaskier is the main character. He is bright, he is bubbly, he is perfectly lovely and kind. He has flaws but they are perfect flaws; the way he never seems to stop talking and drawing people's attention, the way he pushes until people love him. They aren’t even proper flaws, they aren’t something Jaskier needs to get over.
The antagonist is the protagonist's counterpart. Without them, the protagonist doesn’t have a problem, and doesn't have a reason to fight. The antagonists in this story are Jaskiers parents; Geralt has only met them once. They want Jaskier to marry a rich woman, to bring honour to their family. Jaskier falls in love with Yennefer instead and they hate that about him.
The side characters are simple plot devices for the main character. Geralt is the book smart class president, the leather jacket wearing best friend. He gives advice to Jaskier when Jaskier needs it, even when Geralt doesn't want to. He doesn’t have his own family, but the viewers don’t know that. They don’t care about him.
Renfri is a side character as well, the athletic one who is loud and drinks too much at parties. She is fun and Geralt hates her because she was the exact opposite of him. They will most likely end up together at the end, when Yennefer chooses Jaskier over him and the story needs a new cliche to fall back upon. Geralt knew how this worked. Somehow he never minded that thought.
Triss is a side character too, the kind one. She is sweet and funny, the awkward fan favourite. She will get a show of her own one day, Geralt knew. The viewers will demand it. He will be happy for her when that day comes and she finally gets a story of her own; he doesn’t even know if he will star in it, if he’s important enough to the story.
Then there is Yennefer, the love interest. The reason why the main character, Jaskier, fights. She is created for him, written in to fulfil his needs. The viewers barely know she has a life outside of school, barely know about her own horrible family that Geralt sometimes fantasises about killing. She is just there to serve Jaskier so he can rebel against his parents, find his own way in the world. They all are there for that reason; they are all centered around Jaskier. He is their sun. Every move they make is for him, every sentence designed with him in mind. It isn’t fair.
This is it. That is their world. The script is written all around the walls of the school, the setting is filled with words wrapping around them. A school with wide windows, a chair at the back of the class reserved for Jaskier, the train station where Jaskier and Yennefer meet everyday on the way back from school. The theme song plays every morning and the ending theme plays every night, except on days that don’t matter. Sometimes Jaskiers private thoughts echo through the minds of them all as he narrates the story, as he brought it to life. They only exist for him.
Geralt hates him. He probably loves him as well, probably had since they first met, but who doesn’t? But Geralt has no power in their universe, and has no way to change things around. So he watches and he plays his part. He is in Jaskiers world, he is Jaskiers plot device, he is Jaskiers shoulders to cry on. He exists solely for the purpose of another life.
He wonders if anyone else was sick of it. He wonders if there really is nothing he can do.
He is walking back from school when he feels it. It is like a burning pain at the back of his head, like someone is squeezing tightly. He feels something flash around him, a scratching sound that fills the air, then suddenly he is in the hallways of his school. Outside is pitch black, like the only thing in existence is that building. A glitch. Geralt wonders what happened.
He starts to move forward, trying to find a way out. There are no sounds, nothing indicating anything out of the ordinary. There are usually bird sounds outside the school, but now there was nothing. Geralt almost doesn't mind the silence; Jaskier talks consistently.
He continues walking, his footsteps echoing through the hallways. He peers in every classroom, finding nothing. He is almost at the end of the school when he hears it; the sounds of two people kissing. He slows down his footsteps, trying to be discreet so he doesn’t startle someone. Down the hallway he can see two shadows pushing into each other, almost looking like one person. He sneaks forward, waiting to see who it is.
They pull away from each other, and suddenly the hallway is brightly lit and Geralt can see them clearly. Yennefer and Triss. Yennefer is pushing Triss up against the lockers, and Yennefer is kissing her like she has no air in her lungs. Triss responded eagerly, her lips pushing against Yennefer's eagerly. Geralt watches in horror; he knew this wasn’t written in the script. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. The air around them is fuzzy, almost concealing them from prying eyes.
It is like Yennefer can hear his thoughts. She looks at him, pulling from Triss. He is frozen to his spot and he finds he can barely move or even breathe. No one is watching them now; this was all off screen, and it isn’t how this is supposed to work.
“Don’t tell Jaskier,” she says calmly, and her eyes sparkle the way Jaskiers do when he is excited. For a second she looks like a main character, like she is the one pulling them in orbit, tugging on their strings, and then she turns back to Triss and continues ravaging her. Geralt watches them for a few more seconds before turning away, clearing his mind. His head pounding like someone is banging on his skull and he blocks it out.
Around him the script shifts, making room for this new development. Yennefer isn’t one to stop things before they even begin, and Geralt begins to wonder if things are really as unchangeable as he assumed before.
Geralt wonders who the people around them are. They have no faces, they sometimes have no clothes. They are placed in to make the world seem bigger, seem more crowded and realistic for the main character.
But Geralt is just a simple side character and he has his own life beyond Jaskier. So he wonders what they do, how they survive in a universe not built for them. And he wonders why it’s just Jaskiers story that gets told.
He catches Jaskier leaning against the school wall, smoking a cigarette. This isn’t what he is supposed to do. Geralt is the one who smokes, Geralt is the one who is expected to. Jaskier had never even touched one before this, but he holds it expertly and doesn’t cough when he raises it to his lips.
Geralt clears his throat and Jaskier turns to him with dead eyes. It is almost like their fight hasn’t happened, like Jaskier hasn’t forbidden him to ever come near him again. Jaskier raises the smoke to his lips and breathes deeply, waiting for Geralt to approach himself.
It’s a time skip. Geralt can tell by the way everything seems faster, the way the seconds tick by so quickly it is impossible to count along with them. The theme song doesn’t play in the back of their minds, but it will soon. It is just a matter of time.
“Something happened,” Geralt says, standing in front of him.
“I know. I just don't know what,” Jaskier replies, and Geralt feels both relief and disappointment fill him. Relief that he doesn’t know Yennefer didn’t love him, and disappointment that Jaskier didn’t know that they can change things. He doesn’t even know if Jaskier would want to. Jaskier already gets whatever he wants.
“They aren’t watching,” Geralt says, looking up at the sky where he knows the screen is. It isn’t displayed there; to him it looked just like the sky, sometimes gray, sometimes blue, sometimes every colour he can think of. But he can feel eyes on him throughout the day coming from up there, like he is an animal at the zoo.
“Of course they’re not,” Jaskier says, flicking the ash away and dropping the butt on the ground. Faint wisps of smoke float around his head, like he is emerging from something great, here to save the day. Geralt finds himself thinking of their fight, the way the viewers took Jaskiers' side, and suddenly Geralt is the villain.
“This is so stupid.”
“What’s stupid?” Jaskier asks, looking curious, and Geralt almost laughs at him. Of course Jaskier wouldn't have an issue with the way an episode was written. Things are written for him, not anyone else. He is the lucky one, he is the universe's star. Compared to him Geralt is nothing.
“This entire fucking thing,” Geralt says instead. “This is so overdone. So fucking cliche.”
Why does Jaskier get his happily ever after and not Geralt? Why is Geralt just there to exist as someone whose main purpose is to serve Jaskier? What if he doesn’t even like the man?
“I’ll never understand the hatred towards cliches,” Jaskier mutters, placing his hands in his pocket to warm them. It’s a chilly day. It’s strange for the middle of summer.
Geralt laughs at him. “Of course you wouldn’t.”
Jaskier looks at him, hurt in his eyes and Geralt almost feels bad. “What I mean is, why do people despise the cliches so much? Why does everything have to be original? We are here to assure people that love exists, we are here to make people happy in a dark time. Without us, people don’t believe in love and happiness. Cliches are safe, they are happy. Cliches are kind, I don’t know why anyone wouldn’t want them.”
“Maybe because things work for you.”
“Maybe,” Jaskier shrugs. “All I know is that I’m the happy, bubbly schoolboy who falls in love with someone angry, someone who hides their feelings and I must find them. And eventually we’ll be together and who cares if it’s what people expect from us.”
Geralt almost tells him about Yennefer and Triss, almost tells him what Geralt saw. But he keeps his mouth shut, hides his feelings deep inside him. That was how things worked for him.
But maybe he can have something for himself. They are in a time skip after all. People don’t see what happens then. They can’t.
“Why not me?”
“What about you?” Jaskier asks.
“Why can’t I fall in love with you?”
It made sense; the parallels drawn between him and Yennefer were too great. They are both moody, they are both angry, and they both hide their feelings down and reject every notion of love. It was like Jaskier had said; the cliche must be filled, but he didn’t say by whom.
Jaskier gaps, looking confused and shocked. Geralt stands his ground, not budging from his word. “Why would you want to?” Jaskier asks eventually.
Because I wanted my story told too, Geralt thinks. Because it's not fair you’re the only one who gets to have the sympathy of the fans. Because I want some recognition too and if being with you is the only way I can get it, so be it.
“Because I love you,” Geralt says instead.
Jaskier looks around like he is expecting something bad to happen, like they would be punished for going off script. “You weren’t supposed to say that,” he says at last, ignoring Geralt's words.
“Why not?”
“Geralt,” Jaskier sighs, like everything is too complicated for Geralt to understand. “Don’t say anything at all. Play your part.” He starts to walk away, before looking over his shoulder for a brief moment. “You’ll have your story told eventually. It’s just a matter of time.”
Geralt wonders if Jaskier is really so naive. What does he think would happen when Yennefer and Jaskier had their final kiss on stage? What did he think would happen to them all?
There are eyes on Geralt as he walks down the street, and there is a sharp ringing pain in his head that has remained there ever since Yennefer and Triss kissed, ever since he last spoke to Jaskier. He hasn’t seen the man since. He thinks that would be a good thing. He doesn’t know what Jaskier thinks of him.
He turns the corner and then there is a shock that fills his body, like someone has flicked an electrical switch inside him. Suddenly he is falling, landing on his knees back in the school. There is another glitch, and the pain is amplified in his head. It is almost like the pain is trying to tell Geralt something. He ignores it and starts picking up his books, ready to find a way out.
Sharp footsteps ran towards him, just like they did in the episode Jaskier yelled at him, and Geralt turns. This time Jaskier stops just in time and there is no threat of Jaskier toppling into him.
“What have you done?” Jaskier snarls, grabbing Geralt's collar and pulling him down. Geralt follows easily, watching Jaskiers lips instead of his eyes. He can feel the way the universe tries to push them apart and force them back into their positions they were written into. Jaskier shouldn’t even be here with him, he should be at Yennefer's door holding flowers and ice cream, begging for forgiveness.
“I’ve done nothing,” Geralt responds easily.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jaskier asks instead, eyes narrowing at his easy tone. Geralt can see the desperation in his eyes, the way his story is falling apart in front of him. Part of him loves the way Jaskiers eyes are alight with terror, terror of being erased. So he has found out about Yennefer and Triss.
“Because it wasn’t in the script,” Geralt shot back, a low blow, he knows, but he can’t help it. It feels so good to throw Jaskiers words back at him, watching as his eyes burn with rage. It’s a strange look on Jaskier; Geralt wasn’t the only one going off script. He wasn’t the only one rebelling against the words that had defined him his entire life.
Jaskiers eyes widen and he backs up, letting go of Geralt's collar. Geralt rubs his neck gently, getting rid of the pain.
“Fuck you Geralt,” he snaps. “Don’t you get it? This isn’t supposed to happen.”
“Jaskier,” Geralt starts, “for the first time I can see people's faces in the streets. For the first time I wonder why they are here if everything is centered on you. Are you really so selfish you can’t let anyone else take your place.”
“I never said everything had to be centered on me,” Jaskier shoots back. “I’m just saying we cannot stray from what was written.”
“Why not?”
“Because we all know why we were created, why we were written into existence. Why should we fuck that up?”
“Not everyone does Jaskier,” Geralt says, breathing in. “I don’t even know who my family is because nobody else does. I walk home into an apartment created for me and I sit around. Isn’t this better for everyone?”
“What about for me?” Jaskier asks. Something crashes behind them, and they both look around for the source. A piece of the school roof had caved in, papers fluttering around it. Geralt can see his own name written on the page, like the universe is trying to give him the script to follow. Geralt refuses to comply anymore. He turns back to Jaskier, resisting the invisible pull that tugs him backwards. “What purpose do I have here?”
Geralt shrugs. “Whatever you want your purpose to be I guess.”
Jaskier is silent for a few minutes, considering it and Geralt mentally cheers. “I’ve always wanted my rebellion to be music instead of Yennefer,” he replies softly. “I’m a good singer and guitarist.”
“I bet you are,” Geralt says, not really meaning it, but he is so close, so close to getting his own story. He can taste it. He can care less what Jaskier sounds like when he sings. He bet it is just as angelic as the rest of him.
“What do you think will happen to them?” Jaskier asks nervously, still not looking fully convinced. “Yennefer and Triss I mean.”
“Who cares?” Geralt says, moving in close, eyes on Jaskiers lips. The window cracks, the sounds echoing through the halls. Something is screaming in Geralt's ear, too loud to make out what they are saying, but he assumes it’s a warning. His head pounds and he can barely think, but Jaskiers lips look so soft and gentle.
“Maybe I do.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t want to disappear,” Jaskier whispers, cupping his hands on Geralt's cheeks like he did with Yennefer so long ago at the beach, where Geralt may have just been a little jealous of the both of them.
“You won’t,” promises Geralt, not knowing what he is saying, but the words fall from his lips like he has no control over them, almost like when he is drunk. There isn’t a script anymore and their world is crashing among them, and finally Geralt can speak his mind. Now that he is here he has no idea what to say. “Come on, kiss me.”
Jaskier looks at him, his eyes sparkling like they did on the beach and Geralt feels like a proper love interest. He leans in carefully, slowly, and Geralt can feel impatience ticking away at him. His head is killing him but somehow he knows that if he could just do this one thing, everything will be better. Around them the school collapsed, descriptions and depictions falling down.
“I hope Yennefer is okay,” Jaskier whispers, and Geralt is reminded that Jaskier loves her, not him, but then Jaskiers lips are on his and everything stops. He feels himself slip into place, forcing himself into the narrative, making himself heard in a story that was so intent on ignoring him. For a second everything is still and perfect. Then there is screaming inside his ear, then something shatters, something that sounds like a screen, and Geralt feels nothing at all. Jaskier is gone.