Chapter 2
"I can't believe him!" Jeri sobbed, "I can't believe he's done this to us…"
In a large and cleanly furnished therapists office on the coast of the blue Pacific, the young actresses eyes glittered with white sunlight sparkling over her heavy tears.
It was Tuesday morning. Twenty-four hours after news of her Kate Mulgrew's relationship had broken over the media. And as she mopped her tears and ached with fury and despair, her body stood fixed before the open window.
Her crystal blue eyes stung as they mirrored the colour and breadth of the sky.
The uncontrollable sobbing had begun to make her body tremble and she was determinedly trying to refocus her mind.
Breathing the fresh sea air as deeply as she could into her lungs, she closed her eyes from the sun and was silent for several minutes.
A curly haired woman of Kate's age sat in the therapist's chair watching Jeri patiently.
Her client had been staring in the direction of the private beach in which Ryan and her female lover had been betrayed to the media. The beach belonged to one of Jeri's wealthy, male friend's. A man who had held the actresses confidence, and upon hearing the story of Jeri's romance with her fellow female cast member, had offered the two women the use of his empty private beach and beach house.
He had later admitted to Jeri herself that he had tipped off a local photographer to the two actresses location.
He had given no reason for his betrayal, and Jeri had been forced to conclude that he had been jealous of the romance she had shared with Mulgrew.
"… How is Kate?"
The therapist's calm voice floated as if from a distance towards Jeri's ears.
The now quietened younger woman opened her eyes and smiled softly, gratefully.
"… She is angry…"
Jeri's face fell and she lowered her head, nervously screwing and unscrewing the tissues still between her fingers.
"She does not blame me, but -" Jeri began but her voice began to break.
Falling silent her body tensed once more as she tried to suppress her tears.
Taking some moments to regain her composure, her therapist sat in attentive silence.
Her heart aching now with guilt, Jeri raised her chin, looked directly into her therapist eyes and stated, "I blame myself."
After a brief moment the female therapist asked, "Do you find that helpful?"
The actresses lips opened but she did not reply.
The therapist was staring at Jeri intently through her shroud of brown curls. Her attitude seemed confrontational. And over the years, although it always irritated her, Jeri had found this particular type of therapy had generally worked.
Defiantly raising her chin once more, Jeri responded more boldly, "No. I do not find it helpful. It is not my fault that bastard has turned our lives into chaos."
The therapist continued to stare critically at her client.
Jeri pressed together her angry lips and turned back towards the open window.
Sore, dry eyes resting on the private Los Angeles beach in which she had spent three of the most precious days of her life, the emotional young actress began to reminisce upon how it all began.
Her tear stained lips curved into a gentle smile, and she stared upwards into the sunshine…
----
"Ah, speak of the devil, here she is now…"
In the dark and bustling warehouse which was studio eighteen at Paramount pictures, three producers and a brand-new actress stood amongst the busying crew and equipment of the Star Trek Voyager set.
Jeri Ryan was twenty-nine, tall, curvaceous, with beyond shoulderlength thick blonde hair, dazzlingly blue eyes, and round, sumptuous lips. Everybody with eyes was glancing at her, and she smiled warmly and beautifully at every one of whom she was introduced, and many of whom she wasn't.
Already she had met more than several Voyager cast members, most notably the charming Robbie McNeill and his very handsome compadre Garrett Wang, who greeted her enthusiastically, bringing for her a breakfast of fresh cappuccino and croissant which she accepted graciously.
She laughed off Rick Berman's disparaging comment about how she should not make a habit of eating croissants for breakfast, and noted with concern the absence of introduction to Voyager's leading lady.
But she did not have to wait much longer for her introduction to the woman who played Captain Janeway.
Shortly after Robbie and Garrett's departure to make-up, when she found herself almost unexpectedly face-to-face with the cold eyes and unfriendly appraisal of forty-two-year-old Kate Mulgrew. Who had seemed to wonder nonchalantly around a corner and found herself in the direct sights of Jeri Ryan and the three producers.
Kate's unblinking eyes glared at the new Voyager cast member. And Jeri found her frostiness truly remarkable.
The smile she had worn all morning finally began to fall from her face as she beheld her beautiful but horrible new colleague.
Already dressed for filming in her trim Starfleet uniform, full hair and make-up, the older woman seemed to scowl at Jeri as she curved her lips into a false smile and the two women were formally introduced, shaking hands solemnly.
It was immediately apparent to Jeri that Kate did not want her there.
She certainly did not want to be in her presence for any longer than she needed to be, swiftly making her excuses to depart, and leaving Jeri embarrassed and confused and still in the company of the three producers. Who to her astonishment seemed completely unconcerned about their leading ladies disdain for the new arrival, and continued to treat Jeri with an airy lack of concern. The two male produces a little more obviously than the female producer, who had at least offered Jeri a brief, apologetic smile, before continuing as if nothing unpleasant had happened.
It had seemed that they had all expected Kate to behave in the way she had, and Jeri felt a great annoyance towards her new producers which she tried to forgive.
It was later that day when she discovered the secret of which the producers had managed to hide from herself and from her agent. The Voyager cast member Jennifer Lien, who had been on the show since its premiere three years prior, had not had her contract renewed for this new season of filming.
She had been let go. Her character had been written out of the series, to be replaced by Jeri herself, and the new character Seven of Nine.
In addition to Lien losing her employment to make space for a new actress, Voyager's leading lady, Kate Mulgrew, was said to be unhappy about the dismissal of an actress she had considered a friend.
But as filming began and as Kate and Jeri were required to film more and more scenes in close proximity to one another, nothing became more apparent to Jeri, and to those perceptive enough to notice the tension on set, than Mulgrew's utter contempt for the youthful good looks and sexual appeal for which Jeri had clearly been hired. And Jenny released.
Such was Kate Mulgrew's vicious judgement of her new colleague Jeri Ryan, and the fleet of make-up artists, hair stylists and costume makers and fitters who followed the younger woman around, delaying filming by constantly primping and perfecting Jeri's look, that fellow Voyager actress Roxann Dawson felt moved to apologise to the younger actress for their older colleague's rudeness and bullying.
Kate had sneered, scoffed, complained, rolled her eyes, clicked her tongue, tapped her feet, even lost her temper. Her transformation from mature, intelligent and compassionate middle-aged actress into jealous and discompassionate old wretch happened almost overnight. And Jeri received further apologies from the cast and even the one female producer, but nothing from the malcontent actress herself.
The contrast between Kate Mulgrew and her alter ego Kathryn Janeway was stark. And Jeri, a young woman with more intelligence and bravery than had been immediately perceived, far from feeling subdued by Kate's unpleasantness, finally lost her patience.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Jeri Ryan rapped lightly on the door of actress Kate Mulgrew's private trailer.
The time was just after sunset and the young woman glanced surreptitiously around the cramped trailer park before wrapping her fluffy, grey dressing gown more tightly around her waist.
Hearing slow footsteps through the trailer, a short moment later the thin, metal door opened, and a weary looking Kate stared incredulously at her visitor.
"I would like to speak to you privately" Jeri said plainly, inclining her head towards the interior of Kate's trailer.
The older woman's lips began to curl into a sneer, before her eyes registered the deeply serious nature of her young colleagues demeanour and she relented. Her expression hardening, Kate stepped backwards backwards, allowing Jeri to step inside.
The door snapping shut behind her, the two women faced one another in the cramped and enclosed space, and said nothing.
Muffled voices from the outside were first to ease the silence, and Kate, becoming quickly impatient, sat down at her own small dining table where she had been studying a script, and did not invite Jeri to join her.
Jeri caught Kate's eye as she irritably stared back up, and the younger woman began to speak.
"... You have a problem. But it is not me."
Silence.
Kate glared.
Jeri continued calmly, but firmly.
"I am an actress. I got a job. I've worked hard all my adult life. And I have as much right to be here as you do."
Maintaining her silence, she watched as the younger woman removed her dressing gown to reveal the grey catsuit and matching Starfleet insignia combadge beneath.
Jeri tossed her dressing gown onto the seat that she had not been offered and stepped forward.
So as not to be intimidated by the tall and busty woman in her trailer, Kate got back onto her feet.
The two women stood less than a metre apart. And as the older woman looked up into her younger colleagues large eyes, the mood changed. So subtly that neither immediately realised it. But for the short moments stood in an intimate silence, there was a gradual relenting of both of their anger.
Jeri's voice became softer, and Kate's pupils widened as her fury for the younger, incredibly beautiful woman left her almost entirely.
"Do not blame me for Jennifer's dismissal. And please stop harassing me on set."
Her wide, light blue eyes shined light into Kate's.
The older woman's lips trembled. But she neither moved nor looked away.
Another feeling, a feeling which had been suppressed with rage and with jealousy, began now to blossom unimpeded through Kate's thoughts and senses.
It was a desire so rapturous that from the moment of its conception, around the very moment she had first laid eyes on Jeri before they had been officially introduced, she had fought its power and struggled against it.
Jeri was a woman. And a romantic interest in another woman could end her career.
She had therefore always denied herself this one, greatest pleasure.
She had two sons, a family and responsibilities. And Jeri herself was married.
But Jeri had brought sex to Voyager. A temptation Kate had always refused the producers, wanting to be recognised for her dramatic performance and not for her physical appeal instead.
So they had gone behind her back. And to Kate Mulgrew's great resentment, ratings for the show had risen since the younger woman's premiere episode.
She had however taken it as a personal insult when the younger actress was hired to supply the sex appeal. And so from the offset, she had despised the young actress. However much she had desired her. And however much an audience had also desired to see her.
But Jeri had been right. She was just an actress. Another woman like Kate who had sought fulfilling employment, and had gained it.
In addition, the character Seven of Nine did not appear to be solely in existence as a pleasure icon.
From Kate's own discussions with the screenwriters, Seven looked to become a very interesting character indeed. And that the curve-accentuating catsuit was not there to define the character of Seven of Nine, but simply to show the sexy younger actress at her visual best.
To make Voyager more visually appealing, as opposed to literally attempting to change the substance of the show from being family friendly Star Trek to sexy Star Trek.
This knowledge had irritated Kate even more. She had not wanted Jeri, or Seven to integrate or be successful.
And she certainly did not want the screenwriter's assurances that Seven of Nine would improve the character of Kathryn Janeway, by allowing the Captain to interact with a unique and challenging crewmember.
As far as Kate was concerned, she herself was the lead. And Voyager did not need the sideshow of Jeri Ryan to be successful.
But as ratings continued to rise, Kate had slowly began to accept that she was wrong. Although she would not admit this to anybody, least of all to the innocent actress of whom she had harassed and insulted herself.
And so in spite of all of her sourness and badtempered, irrational critique of the younger woman's significance and right to have a place in the Star Trek franchise, Jeri Ryan was still stood defiantly before her in her trailer.
Much like Seven of Nine would be to stand regularly in defiance before Janeway in her ready room. Challenging the older woman's decisions, and expectations.
Jeri had continued to stare into Kate's dark, blue eyes as the older woman silently considered her position.
Far from remaining cold and callous, Kate's eyes were now shining with a light and interest Jeri had not seen from her disgruntled colleague before.
On an impulse, Jeri took another small step forwards.
She could smell a change in Kate.
The older woman's breathing had shallowed, and she was perspiring.
It was not an unpleasant smell. On the contrary, it was more of a sweet, musky odour which further awakened the instinct which had taken control of the younger woman's decisions.
Closing the distance between them with one further small step, Jeri looked intently across Kate's pinkening face. The older woman's lips were open, and she had turned her head upwards to face Jeri's own.
Kate did not move.
Jeri could sense her fellow actresses quick, shallow breaths across her own opening lips.
Kate wanted her.
The young, unhappily married actress was amazed.
Very slowly lowering her head, Jeri felt Kate's body tense as she rested one soft hand upon the older woman's slender arm.
She thought vaguely that perhaps the reason she had never turned to hating Kate was because of the inexplicable desire she had continued to hold for the poison-tongued older, but still singularly beautiful woman.
Their lips met. And confident of her feelings, Jeri kissed Kate gently.
Kate whimpered, her limbs quickly weakening, and she staggered.
Catching the older woman around the hips, Jeri wrapped her arms around Kate's narrow waist and Kate reached to catch Jeri's soft face in her hands.
Kate finally embraced her passion and they began to kiss deeply. Wondrously. As if to be touched by the other had been the only thing they had wanted their whole lives.
---
Turning her wide, unfocused eyes from the sunlight, Jeri looked back into the dark eyes of her curly haired therapist.
"… I never enjoyed having to keep our relationship secret anyway..." Jeri began, walking back towards her clientele chair and grabbing and shouldering the large handbag which contained her new Voyager script, Timeless.
Turning towards the door, she spoke more to herself than to the woman she had paid to listen, "…I am in love with Kate. I hope she can still love me."