Karma
Chapter 3
“To be quite honest with you, I’m really fucking confused,” Eve sighed and leaned her hip onto the side of the sink, “And angry.”
“And what are you confused about, Eve?” She stepped forward, clenching her jaw, looking directly at the brunette. She hadn’t said her name in years, so she had some catching up to do. It rolled right off her tongue.
“You- Your name. Oksana, Villanelle…” She threw her hands up and down, exasperated, “I don’t get it.”
“It’s simple,” Villanelle took another step, starting to close the distance, “I changed my name.”
As she got closer, she realized she missed being close to the other woman. She was seeing her features up close again, her eyes, her mouth, her hair. She didn’t like feeling this way again. She was over her. Or so she thought she was.
“Yeah I got that part,” She laughed, but not because she found the other woman funny, “But why?”
It annoyed Eve how much she still cared about Oksana. Or Villanelle or whatever her name was. She wanted to know what she was doing now, why she was doing it, who she was doing it with. She wanted to know everything. But she was still mad at her. She had left her all those years ago. Eve was feeling a lot of things right now.
“I’m not,” She hated saying this name, “Oksana anymore.” Enough said. Why was Eve pushing her? It was angering.
“But why? Why aren’t you Oksana anymore? What changed? I just don’t understand.”
“You, Eve! It was you! You changed,” She was in the brunette’s face now, yelling and throwing her hands in the air, “After you…I wasn’t Oksana anymore. I didn’t want to be. I couldn’t be.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Eve was yelling too, she almost never did but if Villanelle was going to say it was her fault she changed her name or that she had changed, she wasn’t going to stand for it. “You were the one that left! You, not me. I stayed….I- I tried.”
Villanelle let out a bark of a laugh.
“You think you tried? That is rich, Eve,” She was looking down at her now, into those familiar brown eyes, “I may have left, but you definitely didn’t try.”
“Where did you go?” She asked after a moment of looking into hazel eyes.
It just came out. The brunette wanted to know so much that she didn’t even register what the blonde had said to her. Eve thought she had tried since she wasn’t the one that walked away. Villanelle broke her heart when she left. Eve wanted to know where she went.
“What?” The blonde shook her head and stepped back, confused by the question.
“I assume you weren’t in London this whole time since the gym is new,” She gestured around, almost forgetting about where they were, “So, where did you go?”
“It doesn’t matter,” Villanelle headed for the door.
She couldn’t keep speaking to Eve. She was starting to…. feel. She didn’t feel anymore. She had perfected not being able to feel. That was all Eve’s fault, anyway. The blonde had to work for years to get this way and she wasn’t going to let the brunette destroy all her work. Because, right now, all she was thinking about was how happy she was when she was around Eve and how heartbroken she was when she had to leave.
“Well, what does matter, Villanelle? Obviously, I don’t because all you keep doing is leaving me.” She gestured toward the door that the blonde was now standing in front of.
She didn’t mean for it to sound so relationship-y. But, she had left her. It wasn’t false, it just wasn’t in the relationship, girlfriend way. It really hurt, nonetheless.
“Are you serious?!” She turned on her heel, quickly stomping up to the professor. “You were all the mattered Eve... and when I tried to tell you that, you...” Her voice cracked at the end so she didn’t continue.
“It was complicated...” The brunette stepped away and looked down at the floor. She remembered the piercing effect Oksana’s eyes had on her.
“Complicated,” She nodded and pursed her lips, Eve used the same word 8 years ago, “What matters, Eve,” Finally getting back to the brunette’s question, “Is that I don’t want to see you here again.”
“You’re kicking me out of your gym?” Eve laughed, she couldn’t believe this was happening. She was kicking her out. What a turn of events.
“No, I refuse to kick anyone out. But, I do not want to see you again. So,” She turned her body, allowing Eve to move past her. “If you don’t mind.”
“I can’t believe this.” The brunette muttered, her legs carrying her out the door and to the front of the gym, where she saw Elena waiting for her.
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It was an average bar, nothing special. But that was exactly what Eve wanted. She and Elena sat down at the bar and ordered a few drinks. The brunette didn’t have a class tomorrow and while she did have some papers to grade, she really needed this drink.
She was furious, and why wouldn’t she be? Oksana, or Villanelle, had just come stumbling back into her life after leaving 8 years ago and then had the audacity to yell at her. And to say that Eve hadn’t tried in their friendship.
And that’s all it was, a friendship.
It felt like something more, to both of the women, but that’s all they had been. Friends. Some may say best friends. And when a best friend says they’re in love with you and have been since the moment they met you…. Well, that complicated things for Eve. But she had stayed, she tried to make it work. It was the blonde who had run off to god knows where. So, how dare she say Eve hadn’t tried. She left. Not Eve.
“So… Eve,” Elena started tentatively, she knew something was wrong. Eve never came to bars with her and if she did, she never drank, and the brunette had already downed two shots, “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” She called the bartender for more vodka.
“Eve.” She downed her third shot.
“Professor Polastri!” Elena threw her hands on the bar top.
“It’s not Polastri anymore! Well, it is,” Eve quickly turned to her, angrily, “But not for long.”
“What the hell happened to you? I thought you enjoyed the class.”
“It wasn’t the class, Elena, it was,” She sighed, blaming the alcohol for the next part, “It was Villanelle.”
“I knew you’d find her hot!” She raised her arms triumphantly, “I know you’re into guys but she’s fit, isn’t she?”
“No, it’s not that, well yes she’s pretty but that’s not why I…” Eve didn’t really know the word. Why she was sad? Heartbroken? Confused?
“What is it, Eve? You can tell me anything. I’d bury a body for you, I hope you know that.”
She laughed, Eve appreciated having Elena in her life. Having someone considerate, kind, and funny. It was nice to have a friend she could truly count on.
“When I was getting my Ph.D., millions of years ago,” She smirked and Elena gave her a chuckle, “I met her. Villanelle. Except her name wasn’t Villanelle, it was Oksana. She was an undergrad at the time and she was…. I don’t know. Different? We met one day when I was assisting one of the psych professors at a lecture and she was in the class. The way she asked and answered questions…,” She looked up, picturing that day, “She was special. And we got along. She needed someone and I helped her, but she helped me too. Niko was….well, there were a lot of fights then. And Oks- Villanelle always knew what to say. We were best friends. And honestly, I was probably closer to her than I was to Niko but then, one day, we had a fight and I didn’t see or hear from her in 8 years. It was… it just didn’t make sense.” Eve raced through the last part of what had happened, she couldn’t talk about that day yet.
“Oh my god…” Her assistant said after a moment, looking into her glass.
“Yeah….” The professor was trying to gauge her reaction, had she said too much? Did Elena really need to hear all of this? Did she even care?
“I can’t believe you had a best friend before me,” Elena smirked and Eve opened her mouth to say something but her assistant cut her off, “I’m kidding. Of all the gyms in London, I’m shocked we went into hers. That’s some destiny shit right there.”
“No, it’s karma. Coming to bite me in the ass or something.” The brunette gritted, she hadn’t expressed how angry she was when recalling the story because she got caught up in the happy parts of their relationship.
“You sound... mad.”
“I am!” Eve slapped her drink on the table, some spilling out and onto the wooden bar, “Sh- She said some things… and then left. No text, no call, no anything. She was my first real best friend and she just… left. It hurt so yeah, I’m still pissed about it.”
Elena put her hand on the professor’s back, she’d never seen her like this before. She knew whatever Villanelle did or said had affected Eve a lot. She knew about the beginning of Eve’s marriage too. The professor didn’t talk about it much, but Elena knew the marriage had never been great. She was happy the professor was finally getting out of it.
“I went to the bathroom and she was in there and you know what she said? She said I hadn’t tried. Me? She left without a trace and I didn’t try. I just can’t…” Eve shook her head, she was still in some state of shock.
“So, I’m guessing you don’t want to go to the two other spin classes, huh?” Elena said after a moment, trying to lighten the mood.
“She kinda kicked me out, anyways.” She shrugged, smiling at the madness of it all. It seemed surreal.
“Damn Eve, you obviously did a number on her.”
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Villanelle was punching. Hard.
Not a person, don’t worry. A boxing bag.
It was late, and the gym had closed a little while ago. The biggest perk of owning your own gym is that you can get in and use it anytime, and that’s just what the blonde did. Usually, she’d make use of the weights or machines, but she needed to get her anger out. The best way to do that was by punching something, obviously. Well, her philosophy was to either ‘punch it out or fuck it out.’ It has worked pretty well for her so far.
She was so angry at Eve. How could Eve think she was in the right? She turned Villanelle down and broke her heart, not even caring about the blonde’s feelings. Of course, Villanelle had to leave. Their lives were so intertwined, they couldn’t just stop seeing each other. It wasn’t that simple. She had no other choice but to move from London. And she had forgotten about Eve, it took time but eventually, it had finally worked. But now all of that work was gone. Just like that.
She punched the bag until her body was dripping in sweat and she could already feel the bruises forming on her knuckles. She finally went upstairs to her apartment, showered, changed into pajamas, and tried to go to bed. She tried and tried and tried. But she couldn’t get her encounter with Eve out of her mind.
‘You were the one that left that night! You, not me. I stayed….I- I- tried.’
‘It was complicated…’
‘You’re kicking me out of your gym?’
Villanelle thought she had done the right thing by ‘kicking’ Eve out. She didn’t want to see her ever again. And she’d worked her ass off for this gym, so she wasn’t going to let Eve ruin it for her. But seeing her, talking to her, only for a few minutes... the brunette was all she could think about.
Maybe it actually was more complicated than the blonde had thought. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe she was still in love with Eve, maybe she wasn’t. Maybe Eve was thinking about her too. Maybe she wasn’t.
Okay, it was definitely more complicated than Villanelle had thought.
And, if you were wondering, neither of them got any sleep that night.