Things were bad.
Not, like, the world or anything, but for Felicja, most certainly. For starters, she was really short and couldn't walk in heels if her life depended on it, which sucked. She was really clumsy and couldn't pay attention in class or on the phone for more than ten minutes. She had trouble talking with people which was terrible if you needed money, and she didn't look like she was over the age of twenty one.
Plus she hadn't been to church in six months because she'd been trying to ignore the fact that she was hopelessly in love with her best friend.
It started without any warning or any way of preventing it- she'd met Tatjana in middle school at their all-girls catholic boarding school in America and had shared a room together. Although Tatjana had hated her at first because of her overly obnoxious personality, she'd gotten to see the anxious mess behind the facade and they'd become tentative friends. And after Tatjana had decided to move to the US permanently Felicija did so as well, against her family’s wishes. The first couple years were relatively easy to deal with- passing it off as friendship, Jealousy, pretending she didn't like Tatjana’s boyfriends because they were ugly or weird, going to bed an hour late to avoid changing at the same time, and regrettably getting a few garbage boyfriends of her own. But as she got older and noticed the pattern, the things that corrupted their friendship got a lot harder to hide. When Tatjana had met Ivan in a shared college class, Felicja had shoved down her initial dislike of him and tried to be happy for Tatjana in public and drown her sorrow in Taylor Swift songs. As Tatjana started to stand her up with increasing frequency, the number of recommended Taylor swift songs on Spotify skyrocketed. Despite all of this, Felicja made sure they always spent time together in the least romantic way possible- as waitstaff in a café.
Which is where she was now.
Seeing Tatjana was the only real reason Felicja kept the job, so when she wasn't there it was boring as hell. Felicja had her head down on the counter, thinking about stupid customers and all of the summer she was missing only a block from the beach when the little bell above the door rang.
“Morning Felicja,” Tatjana muttered as she pushed in through the front door, hanging her purse on the staff rack in the back of the counter. Felicja’s head shot up immediately, a bright smile erasing any evidence of turmoil.
“Tatjana! I haven't heard from you in days! How are you?” She brushed some hair behind her ears as Tatjana tied her black apron on.
“Fine,” Tatjana said, but she seemed worried and distracted. Felicja hesitated for a second. “You don't sound fine.” She turned around in her chair. “What's up?”
Tatjana looked at her with an expression Felicja couldn't quite place, then turned away quickly and flipped her braid forward over her shoulder. Felicja frustratedly forced herself to stop breathing so fast. “It's nothing,” she turned to get something out of her bag, and that's when Felicja saw it.
“What the hell is that?” She asked, pointing to a purple mark on the back of Tatjana’s neck. The woman in question froze up, fingertips brushing the spot on her neck. “N-nothing, I just fell.” She moved quickly to the other side of the counter and started to prepare a rag for cleaning tables. Felicja took a second to acknowledge she was treading in dangerous water but shoved the uneasiness into the pit of her stomach.
“It certainly doesn't look like a fall.” She stood and walked determinedly over to her, ignoring the thudding of her heart.
“It's really nothing.” Tatjana laughed nervously, but the troubled look in her eyes gave it away. She scrubbed furiously at the counter, though it was obviously clean.
Felicia bit down on any internal protest and brushed the remaining hair away, looking at the purple mark more closely. It was obviously a bruise, and a fresh one at that. Tatjana did something Felicja had never seen her do before and slapped her hand away, though instantly looking regretful. “Better see to the customers,” she muttered almost to herself, pushing her braid back over the spot.
“There are no customers,” Felicja said, allowing her concern for her friend to overtake all caution her feelings allowed. “Seriously, what's wrong?”
Tatjana stopped for a second, her bottom lip trembling slightly as she debated her options. Then, she shook herself. “Just drop it, Fe. I'm perfectly honest with a lot of things, so be content with that.”
Felicja fell quiet, trying frantically to hold her tears back. Then, her heart skipped a beat as she realised something.
“Was it Ivan?”
Tatjana was so startled she hit the underside of the counter with her knee and dropped the rag on the floor. She shook her head slightly, but didn't say anything. She ducked under the counter, cursing quietly in Lithuanian.
Felicja took the reaction as a sign of weakness in her facade. “What did he do? Seriously, if I find out he's been doing anything-”
“He's fine, I said I fell.” Tatjana tried to sound exasperated but it fell flat and forced. In a stroke of bravery, Felicja brushed her hair the other way, revealing the four other lighter bruises.
“He choked you!”
Tatjana backed up to the wall and stood quickly, avoiding her friend’s eyes. “We were just messing around, I promise he's never done-”
“No, he would!” Felicja grabbed Tatjana’s shoulder and forced her to face her, but Tatjana still refused to look her in the face. She was becoming more and more noticeably distraught, rubbing the inside of her arm and muttering nonsensically. “Tatjana, I knew him before you did, and I know he's a dick! He totally doesn't respect you, and-”
“Stop it!” Tatjana was hyperventilating and she started sobbing in earnest. Felicja froze up, suddenly aware that she'd pushed her friend into some sort of anxious fit. To add insult to the festering injury, she'd made her cry. And Felicja hated it when Tatjana cried because she never had any idea what to do.
“Tatjana, no no don't cry, come on,” she pulled her into a hug and squeezed her as tightly as possible to shop her own shaking. “I'm sorry, come on, go sit down.”
In the half hour it took Tatjana to recover, Felicja silently said more Hail Mary’s then she could count and an equal number of prayers for the lack of customers. Tatjana had cried her eyes out and had resorted to silent sniffling into the bottom of her apron. Felicja handed her a tissue, her whole face red with embarrassment and shame.
“He really didn't mean it,” Tatjana spoke, but it was so quiet that Felicja almost missed it. “But you're right. I'm tired of having to put up with him when he's angry,” she pulled the hairband off her braid and began to rebraid the strands that had come undone.
Felicja forced herself to quell her joy and focus on the problem at hand. “So, how are you gonna tell him? That you're through?”
Tatjana clenched her hands into fists until the knuckles were white.
“I can't.”
Felicja turned quickly to face her from where she was sitting. “What? Why not? He's a terrible boyfriend, he's rude, you just told me you didn't want to be around him-”
“I'm pregnant.”
Silence dropped on them like a bombshell.
“Oh.”
The quiet was deafening and Felicja felt claustrophobic and suffocated.
“A-are you going to, you know-” Felicja couldn't say the last part because it terrified her that she wanted to hear a yes.
“God no.” Tatjana clasped her hands in her lap, looking scared and defensive.
“O-Kay.” Felicja fought back tears that stubbornly kept forming. Great, now she could add murder to the list of things her terrible feelings was making sound appealing.
Things were bad.