Change my mind
Chapter 5 – Change my mind
The end of the night
We should say goodbye
But we carry on
While everyone's gone
Never felt like this before
Are we friends or are we more?
As I'm walking towards the door
I'm not sure
The first thing that she noticed when she woke up was that both her arms were numb. Probably because she was in a very uncomfortable position, with them laying above her head. Nicole felt like her head could explode at any moment.
She didn’t quite remember how she made at home the night before. The entire night felt like a blur, but she pressured her brain to retrace her steps from the previous day. She was living work and Wynonna stopped her for a talk. Then she remembered. Shorty’s, Pussy Willows, Jonas, the alley. The only thing she couldn’t recall was how she made at home. The redhead noticed that she was still wearing the same clothes she was the day before and she saw her phone was charging on top of her bedside table. It was somewhat strange, but also it wasn’t the first time it happened.
When she could finally move her arms a bit, Nicole pulled her phone close to check the time. It was almost 11 a.m., which meant she was incredibly late for work. The redhead tried to get up quickly but it only made her get a little dizzy. She sat back in her bad and took a deep breath. Not only her body felt slow, but her mind, too. Moving slower this time, the redhead stood up and looked at herself in the mirror. She needed to clean herself.
Nicole walked under the shower and let the warm water touch her body. Her brain insisted on going back to the memories of her misery, but she shook her head, refusing to go there at that moment. Once she was done, she walked back to her bedroom to change into clean clothes. She looked at herself in the mirror one more time, but beside her wet hair, she couldn’t see a much of a difference. There were still big bags under her eyes and she looked tired.
It was almost 12 p.m. when she arrived at GRU. She was organizing her tools on her box when someone arrived behind her.
“Finally decided to show up, Haught.”
“Leave me alone, Carl,” she didn’t even bother to turn around to see him.
“Whatever. Lucado said that as soon as I saw you I should tell you that she wants to talk to you.”
“Thanks,” Nicole muttered. She just finished organizing everything and went to Lucado’s office. “Hey, Maggie,” she said to the secretary. “Lucado wants to see me.”
“Hi, Haught. She said you could just go in whenever you arrived.”
“Thanks,” the redhead walked inside the office. “Ms. Lucado. Did you want to see me?”
“Close the door behind you,” Lucado said. “Are you aware of your working hours, Haught?”
“I am really sorry, Ms. Lucado. I…”
“I hadn’t finished yet,” she interjected. “You are an employee here just like anyone else. And don’t even think that I don’t know the reasons why you are late so often. I just hope that at least you don’t involve any of the students or professors from this University in your personal business.”
“No. I would never, Ms. Lucado. I swear.”
“You swore you would commit to this job and here was I this morning, asking Carl to fix the heating at the music department. He burnt the whole equipment,” Lucado sighed.
“Stupid Carl.”
“You’ve been working here for years, but enough is enough. This is your last warning. No more arriving late or being here hangover. I gave you too many chances already. I am the boss here and you are going to behave. I don’t care who asks me to keep you…” Lucado wandered off.
“What do you mean?” Nicole asked.
“Never mind. Just be here when you are supposed to be. Now go, you have too many things to do. Start with the music department.”
“Yes, thank you, Ms. Lucado,” Nicole walked out of the room. She didn’t understand what her boss had just said, but she didn’t have time to think about it at the moment.
She knocked at the door at the music department and didn’t wait for an answer.
“Excuse me, Professor Jett. I’ve been told you need some assistance here.”
“Oh, yes, yes, finally you, Nicole” he almost screamed when he saw her. “The heating is messing with the tuning of the instruments.”
“Let me take a look.”
“Your colleague came earlier, but I think he made the situation worst.”
“He’s not very good with this part,” Nicole giggled. “Carl is better at gardening.”
“Do you think you can finish today? We have the last rehearsal before the festival tomorrow.”
“Yeah, don’t worry, Professor Jett. I’ll do my best.”
“I didn’t have lunch yet, so I’ll do that and leave you to work,” he waved at her before leaving the room.
Nicole worked all afternoon in the music room because the damage Carl caused was bigger than she expected. Robin and she could even talk a bit when he came back from lunch. Before she went to change to her regular clothes, she decided to check on Waverly, since they haven’t seen each other that day. She opened the door of the other woman’s office and smiled at her.
“Hey Waves, how are you… Oh, I mean, Professor Earp,” Nicole realized that Waverly wasn’t alone. “I just came to check if everything was alright here. I didn’t want to bother you.”
“Nicole, hey. Come on in,” the brunette waved at here. “And don’t “Professor Earp” me. Jeremy and I were just chatting a bit.”
“Doctor Chetri,” Nicole nodded.
“Hello, Ms. Haught.”
“Please, you two. We are all friends here. No formalities,” Waverly got closer to Nicole and held the redhead’s hand, trying to make her get closer to them. “I didn’t see you at lunch today.”
“I arrived late today,” Nicole explained.
“Is everything okay?” Waverly worried.
“Yeah, all good,” the redhead dismissed her.
“Jeremy and I were saying that we should go out someday,” Waverly said. “You should join us.”
“Oh, I don’t want to get in your way, guys.”
“Don’t be silly. You would be doing me a favor because Jeremy will probably meet some cute guy and ditch me right away,” Waverly teased.
“Yeah, right. Like that is even possible,” Jeremy scratched the back of his neck.
“You shouldn’t sell yourself so short, Jeremy,” Waverly told him. “I saw some posters about the music festival that’s going to happen tomorrow. We should go. I bet we’ll meet a lot of new people there.”
“The… the music festival? The GRU jazz band will play the opening show,” he stuttered.
“Is that a problem?” Waverly wondered.
“Well… Robin Jett will be there.”
“Ah, so we have our eyes on someone,” the brunette smirked. “I studied with Robin. He’s a sweetheart. You should go for it, Jeremy. We can talk to him tomorrow at the festival.”
“I don’t know,” Jeremy said. “He will be probably very busy with the band and everything else.”
“You could always offer him a helping hand,” Nicole suggested.
“You should listen to her,” Waverly teased. “She always has a girl around her. Nicole knows how to play this game.”
“Waves…” Nicole blushed.
“You really think I should talk to him at the festival?”
“We go there as a group of friends and you give it a try,” Waverly told him. “If it doesn’t work at least you can go back and have fun with us.”
“Okay. Yeah, okay,” he clenched his hands. “But you guys have got to help me.”
“We’ll be there,” Waverly looked at Nicole. “Both of us. Right?”
“We will,” the redhead said.
“Yay,” Waverly giggled. “This is going to be so great.”
The next day, Nicole arrived at the park where the festival was taking place. It was a little crowded, much more than Nicole was expecting to be for a festival in which the most expected attraction was a jazz band.
She looked around trying to find Waverly and it wasn’t a hard task. Even among hundreds of people, the brunette always stood up in Nicole's opinion. She was wearing a floral dress and Nicole couldn’t help but notice that Waverly was getting prettier every year that went by. She was talking to Jeremy and she looked like he was about to pass out at any minute.
“Hey, guys.”
“Nicole! I almost thought you wouldn’t come,” Waverly smiled at her.
“I’d never do that to you, Waves. I’m sorry that I’m late,” the redhead searched for the other woman’s hand. “Are you ok there, Jeremy?”
“No, no, I’m not,” he grumbled. “I think I’m going to throw up.”
“I was telling him that he should go there and talk to Robin,” Waverly said. “They just ended the opening act and he should go there before Robin goes out.”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” Jeremy replied.
“I think you need some liquid courage,” Nicole walked away from them and when she came back, she was holding a few drinks and she handed them to Waverly and Jeremy. “Deep breaths, Jeremy. You can do this.”
“You can do this, Jeremy,” Waverly echoed.
“What do I say?”
“Just tell him that they were great and that you enjoyed their show,” Nicole said.
“Alright then,” he sighed deeply and walked toward the stage. “Here we go.”
“Do you think he has a chance?” Waverly asked once Nicole and her were alone.
“You know what? I actually think he does,” the redhead answered. “They are both sweet nerds, I think they’ll get along pretty well.”
“You talk like all of the scholars were big nerds,” Waverly laughed.
“Well, aren’t you?”
“Oh, you take that back, Nicole Haught,” Waverly pretended to be offended.
“Never,” Nicole took a sip from her beer.
“Let’s find a place free for us to sit,” the brunette suggested.
There was an open spot on the grass and the women decided to take it.
“Do you remember that we used to spend the weekends here waiting for the sunset?” Waverly asked.
“And Wynonna would always ditch us for one of the York boys,” Nicole laughed at the memory.
“Every single time,” Waverly smiled too. “But you always stayed. I’m not sure if you knew it back then, but that was really important to me. To see that you cared about me.”
“Always, Waves. You are one of my favorite people in the whole world.”
Waverly felt her heart overflowing with all the feelings she has been keeping only for herself. She wanted to tell what she feels, what she has always felt for the redhead, but at the same time, she knew there was a big chance that Nicole wouldn’t reciprocate and she would probably pull away from her. Deciding against taking any action, at least at that moment, Waverly took advantage of the fact that she saw her other friend walking alone and waved at her.
“Chrissy! Over here!”
“Hello, Waves. Nicole, hi. I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.”
“Ah, yeah. Waverly invited me, so I couldn’t say no.”
“You could never say no to her, right?” Chrissy said.
“I have my charm around her,” Waverly teased. “Did you came alone?”
“No, I’m meeting some people from work,” Chrissy answered.
“Would some people attend to the name of Rosita?” Waverly curiously asked.
“Maybe…”
“Oh, I knew something was going on,” Waverly clapped her hands with the excitement.
“We arranged to come just as friends,” Chrissy clarified.
“They are just friends, but Chrissy Nedley over here wants to be more,” Waverly told Nicole.
“She is coming,” Chrissy rushed. “Please act normal.”
“I’m not sure if we can do that,” Waverly teased her again. “What do you think Nicole?”
“We could tell her all about Chrissy’s 16th birthday, right?” Nicole went along with Waverly's joke.
“Oh, that was a great day,” Waverly said. “We almost killed Nedley that day.”
“Shut up,” Chrissy tried to hush them. “What are you? Twelve again?”
“Don’t worry, Chrissy. We won’t embarrass you in front of her,” Waverly grinned.
“Rosita, hi,” the blond smiled. “I’m glad you made it.”
“Hello, ladies. Nice to see you all,” Rosita sat with them. “How are you doing, Nicole?”
“Good, good,” the redhead nodded, but she didn’t really cross eyes with the woman.
“Do you know each other?” Waverly asked.
“Just from around, you know?” Nicole quickly said. “Grocery store and stuff.”
“Alright,” Waverly didn’t look completely satisfied with the answer.
“They play well,” Rosita said moving a little with the song.
“Invite her to dance,” Waverly whispered to Chrissy.
“You think so?” She asked.
“Of course! Go on.”
“Hey, Rosie, would you like to go dancing?” Chrissy awkwardly screamed. “Because the song is good, as you said.”
“Sure, I’d love to,” Rosita stood up and held her hand for Chrissy to hold it. They walked to the middle of the crowd where other people were already dancing.
“Did you notice that we played cupid twice today?” Waverly asked.
“You are right on that,” Nicole giggled. “We are good at working together.”
“Yeah. You make it all easy. You always make me comfortable,” Waverly ventured a look.
“I’m glad. If it ever changes, you have to tell me,” Nicole frowned. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
“Why on Earth would you say such a thing?”
“I don’t know,” Nicole shrugged. “Just thinking, I guess.”
“Don’t go down that road, okay? At least not alone.”
“Okay, sorry,” Nicole sighed. “Do you want to eat something? Popcorn maybe?”
“Popcorn sounds amazing,” Waverly gave her a full smile.
“I’ll see if they have caramel flavor,” Nicole said while walking away.
“You are the best,” Waverly screamed at her.
“I’d like a bag of caramel, please,” Nicole said when she got to the cart. “And one just with salt, too.”
“Just a minute, dear,” the woman selling the popcorn replied.
“Fancy seeing you around, Haught.”
“Jonas,” Nicole turned around startled at the unexpected voice behind her. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“Working, of course. Lots of junkies here tonight,” he smirked. “Talking about junkies, is that anything that I could provide you today?”
“Just stay the hell away from me,” she shout-whispered. “I don’t want to be seen with you here.”
“Ah, so you are not alone tonight, alright then,” he shoved his hands into his pockets. “But don’t you start thinking that you are so much better than me. Not when you still owe me money. Are we clear?”
“Just keep walking, Jonas. And don’t worry, I will pay you. I always do.”
He walked away with a cocky and arrogant smile spread all over his face. Nicole bowed her head and let go of a relieved sigh. She wouldn’t know what to do if Waverly saw they talking.
“Here’s the popcorn, miss,” the woman in the chart said.
“Thank you,” Nicole handed her the money.
She turned around to go back to Waverly, and just a couple of steps later she froze at who she saw staring at her. Wynonna was under one of the trees, and as soon as their eyes crossed, Nicole knew that the brunette had witnessed her entire interaction with Jonas.
Even from afar, the redhead could see the disappointment look on Wynonna’s face. Nicole wanted the ground to open under her feet and that it would suck her in forever. She felt ashamed and embarrassed. She wanted to run toward her old friend and tell her that she didn’t buy anything and she would never do it on Waverly's presence, but Wynonna shook her head and turned around, walking away from Nicole one more time.
Lean in when you laugh
We take photographs
There's no music on
But we dance along
But baby if you say you want me to stay
I'll change my mind
'Cause I don't wanna know I'm walking away
If you'll be mine