Ch10
Crystal moved In to be with Gigi the very next, and stuck to her promise for a week and a half. For that week, she resided with Jan in her large grand bedroom and seemed to be microscopically happier. Even there, there was yearning. When this period had collapsed, she spend an hour a day visiting Gigi in her residences and seeing the girls who had made her time on tour with the band so extraordinary. There was one day that stuck in her mind prominently when the girls had all came back from their hometowns to live in the new house by the river, and she had seen them for the first time. How beautiful they had all looked in their new clothes and jewels. They had been the girl’s Gigi had never imagined she would be acquainted with. She was sat in the seating room under a large crystal chandelier and watching the winter deep fall sun glimmer off the side of the platinum record hanging above the mantel piece when they all traipsed in, suitcases in hand. Heidi immediately had ran and hugged her, lifting in her up in the air and spinning her around the room. There was immediate comfort and then the shower of love cascaded from Jackie and Widow. She was with her family again. With people who she always felt connected to no matter where she went in the world. It was her spark that never died no matter how often she went back to feel its warmth. Heidi was engaged. She wanted to have a baby within the next two years. Her life was moving on. Widow was producing music of her own and Jackie had her own show. They had all done so well for themselves. She could never have imagined, whose name was known in every house in the USA, would be the least successful of the group.
This was recounted to Jan in the evening who looked upon the bright eyes girl with a premonition of sadness. She knew what Gigi had done was truly unforgiveable, and the relationship could be changed but the crime never forgotten. Gigi could never be looked at the same again as far as she was concerned. Oliver formed a high opinion of everyone in the band and took a liking to Jackie who took none of his shit. He and Jan lived a decent life in the house across the river. Crystal even imagined they would be engaged to be married within the next two months or so. She imagined a happy life for Jan and was scrawling such events to her journal one early morning when the first snow came upon the city. It was around a month too early but settled Seattle like no other season could. That bright morning brought a slight knock at the door to which Crystal fled, knowing it could only be one person. Gigi was dancing in the snow, visible from the window.
“You must be catching your death out here.” She spoke, approaching the door.
“Not really.” Gigi smiled, staring at the sky with her hands on her hips. “I haven’t seen snow much before this. Do you get it here a lot?”
“It’s called the windy city, not the snowy city.” Crystal laughed.
Gigi smiled from her perch on the snowy step. Her face was flushed from the cold and her hair messy from the running.
“Look what I got you!”
Crystal stepped from the side of the house to see a little red bike perched against the wall with a blue one, exactly it’s double, sat beside it.
“A bike? For winter?”
“Exactly.”
“It’s winter, Gigi, the gears are going to freeze. The tires are going to skid.”
“Oh no, not these ones.” Gigi pulled the blue bike proudly. “They’re brand new. Just hauled them back from the shop.”
“You got me a new bike?!”
“Yes, do you like it?!”
Crystal stood in awe of the girl ahead of her, knowing it was not an appropriate gift but appreciating it anyway.
“You want to take them out now?”
Crystal took a step outside and slipped on the ice at the step, landing her right in Gigi’s arms.
“Oops. Gotcha.”
They stayed there for seconds at a time, Crystal’s hand resting on Gigi’s chest and Gigi’s on Crystal’s back. They had the compulsion amongst the giggles that arose, to kiss.
“Where do you want to go?” Crystal spoke, romantically.
“Take me somewhere I haven’t been before.” She smiled, and let go of the brunette.
“That should be easy.”
The girls took off on the bike path down a short road that lead to a large tree and up a hill. It was beginning to snow heavily by the time the tree had been reached. Crystal was falling in love with every second she was riding, and she needed to be in closer proximity with Gigi the closer she got to the place she was headed.
“Where are we? Where are we going?” Gigi pondered, placing her bike against the bark.
“Just down that hill is a beach my mother used to take me to when I was a kid.” Crystal pointed ahead to a snowy beach. “I wanted to show you the sea, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise it would snow so hard.”
“I thought you might forget.” Gigi smiled, pulling two blankets from the bag she was carrying on her back and leaving them to tumble down the snowy hill. “Come on.”
Crystal watched as the girl biked down the hill and skidded at the end to a stop, ushering her down with a wave of the hand and handing her the cold blanket when she was on the shore. The taller girl ran to the grass lands to grab two wooden polls from the ground and bring them back to the beach.
“What are you doing, Gigi?”
“I’m building you a castle!”
Gigi thrusted the sticks into the ground and cascaded the blanket over the top. It made a little fort that faced the ocean and settled beautifully among the snow. Gigi took off her jacket and tossed it on the ground.
“Look at this, I’m a regular handy-man.”
Crystal chuckled and clambered her way into the snowy fort. It was like something out of move, but a million times more romantic. Gigi climbed in next to her and placed one arm down the side of the girl.
“It’s really coming down now, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Crystal spoke. “It’s kinda cold.”
“Move closer to me. It’s a bit warmer here.”
She did as she was told.
“I can’t believe I was away from you for three months.” Gigi frowned, keeping her eyes on the sea. “And, I can’t believe how young I was. I feel like I was just a child.”
“Well, you’ve done your fair share of grown up things whilst I’ve been gone.”
“What have you been doing?” Gigi questioned, casting her gaze upon the girl. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Seeing anyone? Jesus, Gigi, I haven’t left my bed in 6 weeks.”
“I felt the same.”
“But, it’s okay, I suppose I’ll be only be here for a few more weeks then I’ll on my way to a different country to see the world there.” The brunette laughed.
“You’re such a minx, do you know that?” Gigi threw her head back gently with a smile. “I’m glad I met you before Heidi did, I don’t think she’d ever recover.”
Crystal laughed gently and began to lay her head in Gigi’s lap. The girl above was looking down at her face as it radiated all the clean beauty of a snowy day. Her eyes were so bright, bright as they always had been. She was smiling, a smile she had not seen for three months and which she yearned to see every day for the rest of her life.
“Who knew I could yearn for a life I already lived?” She asked.
Gigi smiled and looked on. It always seemed she was looking towards something, but now, she was looking back. Back at a time when her life seemed to be going correctly. She was living with her band, and the girl she loved. Now, it seemed like she had a big house that she could fill with girls from time to time. She did, on the occasion. In the past week, she had two group of girls around when the rest of the world had been asleep. They were lovely and kind because they had to be, but they weren’t Crystal. She was surprised at how many girls would be appealed to her just because she was in a band and she could play guitar.
“What did you used to do here when you were little?” Gigi began to run her hand softly over the girl’s hair.
“We used to collect shells and show them to my dad when we got home.”
“That sounds fun.”
“It was.” Crystal smiled. “We saw a deer once and I must’ve ran after it for an hour so, but I ran into the highway.”
Gigi smiled and sat in silence. There was nothing that was more important to her than the fact that Crystal was in her lap right now. It felt like the bus again and both girls felt a great sense of letting go.
“Crystal?”
“Yeah?”
“Come here.”
The brunette turned on her back to see Gigi looking down upon her with a lustful look in her eyes that clouded over her vision. She was thinking about Crystal in so many ways, as eroticism usually displays itself. She leant down, grappling Crystal’s jaw as she did so, and place a long kiss against her lips. She tasted like cinnamon, and berries. It was winter, and they were kissing like they were just seventeen. Grappling at each other as Crystal sat up and straddled Gigi’s waist. They were pulling at each other’s hair, button, pulling down pants and folding up skirts. Desperation filled the air, and it wasn’t until Crystal was on her back and Gigi was between her legs that she brought the sudden affair to its end.
“Gigi.” She sat up on her elbows. “Is this what you brought me out for? To have sex with me?”
Gigi sat up and took her hands from the inner of Crystal’s thighs, wiping her face.
“No.” She breathed. “No, no, of course I didn’t.”
“No?”
“No.” She said again, now on her knees. “I brought you here to tell you something important.”
“And what would that be?”
Gigi smiled nicely and leant over the girls body to be close to her lips.
“I’m going on a world tour, Crystal.” She kissed the girl. “I’m travelling the entire world and I want you to be there by my side when I do.”
“Gigi.” The girl sat up and pulled her skirt back down. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, Crystal, isn’t that wonderful?”
“How did it happen?”
“The single went platinum, every country in the world is listening to it!” She yelped. “Who would have thought I would be so famous off a song I didn’t even write. It’s all because of you, Crystal. I owe this to you, I want you to be there.”
“Gigi, last time I came on tour with you, you ruined my life.”
“Hey.” Gigi pushed a strand of hair back behind Crystal’s ear. “I thought we were past all of that.”
“Past it? Gigi I can’t get past it! It has ruined my life for three months.”
“Crystal, I’m sorry.” She sat back. “I didn’t realise it was so big of an issue to you.”
“I’m glad you were able to get over it Gigi.” Crystal sighed. “but I can’t. I never will be able to. I can’t go on tour with you right now.”
“Are you serious, Crystal?” She questioned. “When I met you, all you wanted to do was see the world? I’m giving you that chance. Why aren’t you taking it?”
“You hurt me, Gigi.”
“Yes, and I’m sorry for that.” She stood as well as she could under the roof. “But, this is me making up for it.”
“It can never be made up for.” She spoke. Gigi got out of the canopy tent and stared down at the girl who was no longer worth the trouble. It was snowing hard and it was coming down all over her face.
“Anything could happen between us, Gigi, and I still couldn’t shake off what you did to me.”
Crystal stood and walked out of the tent and picked up the bike from the snow.
“Okay, okay, Cris, I’m sorry.” She spoke, trying to place the bike back down. “Please don’t go. Please. I want you to stay.”
“Don’t, Gigi, just don’t.”
“Crystal, please don’t do this. We were just getting good again.”
“And now look at us, Gigi, we’re back in our bad place again!” She turned from the bike suddenly. “You did this to us, and you keep doing this.”
Gigi said nothing.
“I don’t know why you keep doing this to me and keep putting me through this.”
“I’m sorry, Crystal.” She spoke. “Please come with me. I leave in two days. I can’t bare the thought of you being alone here again.
“It’s fine.” She bit her lip. “Thank you for the trip. I’m sure I’ll see you across the way.”
With this, she was cycling home and leaving Gigi alone in the snow. Cycling, crying all her way home. Her time at home had been full of pain and upset, and now it was terrible again. She was scared and worried. Things had gotten bad again. It seemed like she was all part of this never-ending cycle which wanted nothing more than to hurt her beyond repair.
Jan wasn’t there when she threw the bike down at the door and ran inside to her room. It was clean and there was a note on her bed. Nothing was as she left it. Heidi had written ‘I cleaned up for you. I love you, come over later.’ She did not even wish to read it. Crystal leapt to her bad and sobbed for hours upon end until she felt like there was nothing left inside her to keep her living. Whatever was inside her now was dead and gone, there was no reviving it. Gigi, after all things, was a murderer. She had killed Crystal one million times over.
That evening, Crystal watched from the big window in the sitting room at the house across the dark. There were only two lights emerging. Gigi’s room and the front room. She was sat there in a big chair by the window watching the door, and Crystal was surprised they weren’t looking directly at each other. Gigi was dressed nicely and the gold chain around her neck shone finely in the dull, yellow light of the room. Crystal watched and sat quietly until a group of girl, only as old as she was, were let in by Gigi. She looked at each one of them as they cascaded into her home and instantly fled up her stairs. They were all beautiful and brunette and all looked more than a little bit like Crystal. She called Gigi on the phone that sat by the chair in which she had previously been sat, only to watch her answer it.
“Hello?” Gigi held the landline close to her ear.
Crystal said nothing, letting Gigi look up to see her in the window.
“Crystal? Is that you?”
“I see you.” Crystal spoke. “I see those girls coming in and out of your house, Gigi. I watch them come and go like your little subjects. They come to your very request and leave when you please. What do you say to them? You’re the lead singer of the most famous band in the world that they know nothing about? Do you imagine they’re me?”
“Crystal.” She breathed heavily. The girl in the house across the river had fixed eyes and looked eerily like someone she had once loved whilst on tour. She swallowed hard.
“Do they feed your little desires? Do you love them? Do they love you?”
“I don’t love anyone but you.” She cried, wiping her tears from her face.
“So, you use them and then they leave you? Nothing will ever make sense to me about you, Gigi.” She sighed.
Gigi was silent on the other side, walking up to the window to put her hands on the glass. Crystal had to come over and it had to be soon. From what Gigi could see, she was dressed finely. She was in the little pink dress with the black stripes and the pink pumps. Gigi watched as the girl stood and left the phone off the receiver. She could have sat there listening to the dial tone forever. The girls were calling her from upstairs but all she could listen to was the gentle purring of the phone.
Crystal came to the door of the house. It had just finished raining outside and the snow was mostly gone from the ground. Gigi wiped her tears and answered with a frown.
“Crystal, what are you doing here?”
“I thought I never want to see you again.” She stepped in, dripping wet. “But the truth is, I don’t want to see anyone but you. I would be fine if the whole world perished and just you and I survived.”
“It’s raining, come indoors.” Gigi suggested. She came in with a straight face and an upsetting distinction of wonder.
“I want you, Gigi, but I can’t come with you. I want no part in your band which I hate so much.”
Crystal seemed so serious that Gigi did not know to face her. She stood in her power and was overshadowed as she never had been. There was love, but there was mostly fear.
“I understand.”
“But I still need you, Gigi.”
Heidi was listening to music upstairs, and it seeped through as she opened to meet the girls Gigi called home. The taller girl grabbed Crystal and they were dancing in seconds, cheek to cheek, tears grappling down Gigi’s face.
“I’m sorry.” She wailed. “Whenever I think we’re good, I ruin it by being disrespectful and stupid to you.”
Crystal said nothing and danced in Gigi’s arms to the sweet scent of the music.
They were moving perfectly among each other, thinking about how all their time in each other’s company was violently fleeting.
“Make love to me, Gigi.” She spoke.
Gigi placed her arm’s length and looked at her in bewilderment.
“Do what?”
“Make love to me. I know you know how.”
“I can’t.” She mumbled. “I can’t, Cris, I won’t. You’re much too vulnerable and it wouldn’t feel right.”
“I won’t mind.” Crystal was crying now, feeling the weight of the situation. Her face was red with worry.
“But I would. I’m sorry, I can’t.”
Crystal was gone again as quick as she came. Embarrassed, scared, and alone in the world. Gigi would be gone within two days and her torment would start again. Crystal went home and cried herself again, tomorrow was another day to suppress herself. Gigi would never be quite as close again.