Chapter 2
Andrea reminds herself that she was the one to offer and that Lena had accepted. It had been a conversation. They both had played a role. Things like this didn’t just happen. People didn’t just have sex. It was a situation created from actions not nothingness.
She stops for flowers on the way back to the apartment.
She unlocks the door to find candles burning. She can’t help but be surprised. Technically she knows what she’s walking into but really she doesn’t. Her mind is drawing a blank when she searches for Lena.
She finds Lena wearing a crisp button down and black skinny jeans. She doesn’t remember if she was dressed like that this morning or if she’s doing it on purpose.
She extends her arm holding the flowers in Lena’s direction. Lena blushes as she reaches for them. “You didn’t have to.”
Andrea smiles. “I wanted to.”
Lena fills a vase with water before extricating the blooming flowers.
She places it on the counter between them.
Silence fills the room. It’s as if they’re both holding their breath.
“Have you eaten?”
She thinks about it. “No, I guess I haven’t.”
“I could make something.”
“I’ll fix a salad?”
They agree and busy themselves with the task at hand.
Andrea keeps telling herself not to think too hard. She didn’t want to make it weird. She wonders if she should have thought about that before she propositioned herself into sex with her best friend.
They make easy conversation about their days as they eat.
Lena thinks that maybe this wasn’t the worst thing in the world after all.
Dishes are put away.
Andrea has a sip left of her wine. Lena is standing with her arms crossed over her chest.
They’re looking at each other without trying to seem like they’re looking at each other.
“We don’t…”
Her voice trails off. Lena is looking at her as if she could save the world.
Andrea finishes her drink getting to her feet. Her words come slowly as if they’re dripping from her lips. “You just have to tell me. We can stop whenever.”
Lena nods, she’s focused on Andrea. It’s not that she knows what comes next. She wants to be ready for her and most importantly she wants to be good.
Andrea stops inches shy of Lena. She forces Lena the one to close the distance between them. Andrea wants to give her that opportunity to back out to say maybe this isn’t a good idea. She wants to give her everything.
Lena toes forward, her hands find her hips. It’s a ghost of a kiss before the real thing. Andrea finds herself chasing Lena’s lips even though she told herself to go slow. It didn’t have to happen all at once. She had told herself it could be slow, that for Lena she could stretch it out as long as she needed and wanted.
She hears a sound from the back of Lena’s throat as her fingers comb through her hair.
She feels like there’s an electric current running through her body. She doesn’t want the feeling to end.
The material of Lena’s shirt is smooth but she can feel the heat from her body emanate. She wants her, the thought forms a connection in her brain nearly causing her to short circuit.
Lena’s hands are on her body but it’s not enough. She wants her everywhere.
Slow, she reminds herself, slow. There didn’t need to be a rush. But that voice in her head grew smaller and smaller the longer they kissed. The only thing she felt was the slide of Lena’s lips against hers, how her tongue felt in Lena’s mouth. What it was like for her hands to be gripping at her side. It was intoxicating and all too powerful. All of this from kissing.
She breaks away to capture a breath. Lena noses her way to her jaw line peppering kisses. She looks to the ceiling and Lena works at her neck. She couldn’t fathom how good Lena was. Her Lena.
She barely recognizes her voice as she checks in, “We good?”
She feels Lena smile into her skin. She whispers it into her ear. “Very good.”
It’s a flurry of movement. Her hands are undoing the buttons of Lena’s shirt. She’s starving for her.
Lena’s hands rake up her sides. She pauses waiting for Andrea to give her a nod before she takes off her sweater leaving her in a bra.
Her hands don’t shake as she makes work of the buttons on Lena’s shirt. She’s sure she could rip it off but she doesn’t want to help Lena sew them back on either. It’s almost like a dance between them. The air between them super charged.
She only half realizes it once they’re horizontal Lena’s body resting against hers that this feels different. That this, this matters. It’s not a fuck or some random instance of having sex. Lena’s movements are sure. It’s like she’s trying to give her something each time she kisses her. Her lips are saying something for her.
She realizes belatedly that the sound of a button popping and a zipper coming undone is that of her own pants.
There’s a question in Lena’s eyes. Andrea uses her thumb to smooth out her brow. She feels Lena’s hand at her hip.
“I thought I was going to take care of you.”
Lena’s words are soft, “Can I?”
She doesn’t find what she expects to see in Lena’s expression. But what she sees is kindness, earnestness and authenticity. Lena wants this. She wants to do this for Andrea.
She gives her her consent.
Lena cups her over her underwear. Andrea tugs at her own jeans. Lena moves to help her. She stares at her as she helps her take off her underwear. She kicks them off and aside next to her pants.
She feels Lena’s eyes on her. It’s not that she’s being consumed. It’s not some random guy looking at her with lust in his eyes. Lena is looking at her like she’s breathtaking, that she’s a sight to behold.
Andrea reaches out pulling Lena in to kiss her.
She gasps as Lena finds exactly where she needs her.
She whispers into Andrea’s skin, “You are so beautiful.”
She can’t help but cry out, grasping at Lena’s shoulders.
She has two fingers inside her, slow and sure.
It’s not enough. She tells her so. “I need more.”
Lena fills her. Andrea clings to her as she builds and builds her up. She’s being tender with her. It’s not hasty it’s somehow the opposite of everyone she’s ever been with.
She tells her when she realizes just how close she is. With anyone else she would be embarrassed.
Lena asks what she needs.
Her words aren’t elegant. Her brain struggles to string the words together. “I, ugh, need, I need y-you.”
Lena kisses her long and deep. She’s knuckles deep.
She curls her fingers and Andrea’s walls go tight around her.
She says it as Andrea truly lets go, “I love you.”
Andrea doesn’t hear her, she’s flooded with pure bliss.
She doesn’t move, not right away. Lena has one hand buried in her the other brushes the hair away from her face.
She doesn’t want to open her eyes, not yet. She feels the woman she cares about most there with her. This was not how she was expecting the night to go.
She says the words aloud letting Lena know.
She opens her eyes to watch Lena taste her from her fingers that had just been inside her. She wonders if it was possible to come on sight alone.
When Lena kisses her she can taste herself. She’s thinks she’s starting to get it what people alluded to when they spoke about having sex with a woman.
“Can I do you?”
Lena has the gall to be sarcastic. “That was the agreement wasn’t it?”
She looks at Lena who lets out a laugh breaking the moment for them both.
“You are in altogether too many clothes.”
Lena’s shirt was open, it was the only piece of clothing that had come undone.
Andrea wants her and she has her. When Lena gave, she gave herself. This time was no different.
She practically tugs the shirt off of her. Her thumbs rubbing circles on Lena’s skin. Andrea licks her lips. Lena looks at her eyes wide, a little unsure.
Andrea wants to take care of her. She’s hungry for her.
“Bedroom?”
Lena nods.
She gets off the couch and reaches for Lena’s hand.
She kisses her when they reach the threshold of her room. The couch wasn’t going to afford her the room to do what she wanted to do. She wanted to do this right. She wanted Lena to have it all.
She’s not conscious of the fact that she’s naked and Lena still has her bra, jeans and underwear on. She breaks their kiss and undoes her belt.
She guides Lena back to the bed.
Its just them.
Lena is looking up at her. She sees her wondering, thinking through every little thing.
Andrea’s weight is resting on her forearms she’s hovering over Lena.
It’s a suspended moment shared between them.
Andrea’s looking trying to her in. Lena’s hair is fanned out over the pillows. Her eyes are on hers.
She whispers it to her, “Stay with me here.”
Lena nods.
They’re kissing. Andrea makes quick work of undoing the clasp on Lena’s bra. She waits for Lena to take it off herself. She’s trying to let her set the pace. Nothing needed to happen. But something was happening and Andrea wanted it to be good for her. That’s what her goal was from the very start.
Lena shimmies out of her skinny jeans. She giggles when they temporarily get stuck around her ankles. Andrea helps her with an easy grin splashed across her face.
She settles over Lena.
Skin against skin.
Lena lets out a hum.
Andrea asks her, “Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Lena has her hand on the back of Andrea’s neck pulling her in for a kiss that sears. She was driving the situation.
She tells Andrea in between hot open mouth kisses, “I want you.”
It’s the confirmation that Andrea needs.
She kisses down Lena’s neck and then her chest. She’s not thinking, she’s feeling. By the time her mouth is at her hip bone its like nothing else in the world exists except for them and this very moment.
Lena gives her her consent helping her take off the last bit of fabric separating them both.
It’s not that Andrea’s had the experience of going down on someone before. She had given her share of blow jobs, none of them being remarkable in the slightest. This though, this was practically ascendent.
She feels Lena everywhere.
It’s one orgasm later and she’s moved back up Lena’s body but she has a hand between her legs. Lena is saying her name with reverence.
She brings Lena back out to the edge. She undoes her to build her back up, brick by brick.
This she could do and was doing for her person in the world.
Lena taps her shoulder, her words falling into each other, “Sensitive. That was fucking amazing.”
Andrea can’t help but smile. She feels proud of herself in being able to do this for Lena.
Lena snuggles into Andreas body. There limbs tangled together. Andrea reaches for a blanket covering them both.
Lena falls into sleep within minutes. Andrea strokes her back.
She listens to her take breath after breath.
It felt right having her there in her arms.