Chapter 3
Andrea wakes up to an already clothed Lena Luthor sitting on her bed and a takeout cup from her favorite coffee shop on the night stand.
She pulls the sheets to her collar bones feeling truly naked.
Andrea can’t help but stare at Lena. She must realize she’s awake. She looks down and smiles at her. “You’re up.”
She rubs her eyes. “I am.” She’s careful as she reaches for the coffee. She can’t help but sigh when she tastes it. Lena was the only one she trusted to actually get her order right.
She doesn’t know what to say or even how to say it. All of the things her mouth said last night run through her brain.
She nurses her drink.
They’re doing the thing where they’re not quite looking at each other. It’s close to stealing glances. It’s the weight of what they’re not saying which is the loudest thing of all.
Lena crosses her legs.
Andrea puts down her now empty cup.
She swings her legs over the side of her bed, her back to Lena. She grabs the first t-shirt she gets her hands on. Even that covering allows her to breathe easier. She doesn’t know why she’s nervous. She puts on a set of joggers before returning to her bed.
Lena’s eyes find hers. She wonders if she wants to jump into the deep end.
Every one of the guys who had come before Lena had not compared to what she had experienced with her. That meant something, it had to. Not that she wanted it to. This whole thing was supposed to be easy. She never intended for it to be about her.
Lena is the one to put it out there. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Words fail her.
She’s never short when it came to words. The only person who could get her to be quiet was Lena. It always came back to Lena.
Se thinks she should have known better. That now this is going to be a thing and it’s always going to be different. That them having sex will be a demarcation in their relationship. That there’s no going back because they shared a night together and it was good, it was better than that it was nearly perfect.
“That bad, huh?”
Lena’s words snap her out of her own spiral. “Lena it was the opposite of that. It was, well, it was perfect.”
Lena blushes, looking down at her own hands.
“I’m not just saying that. I mean it.”
“I know.”
“Good.” Andrea swallows hard. “I think I didn’t expect it to mean something.”
“It’s not always like that?”
She shakes her head. “It’s never been like that for me.”
“Never?”
She feels like her body is burning. She wants to get the words right. She doesn’t know how to say that none of the other times she’s had sex got close to what she felt with Lena. She doesn’t know how to own the feeling of satisfaction and bliss of falling asleep with Lena. There’s the inherent comfort of being with Lena. Where are the words which could get Lena to understand that what Andrea was feeling was nearly everything.
It crashed into her. It was more than sex. It had been more than taking off clothes. It had been more than the physical act itself.
It was more.
There’s a question waiting for her in Lena’s eyes.
She repeats herself. “It meant something.”
Lena’s voice reaches her. “I felt something and I thought, this morning… It didn’t feel like it was just sex.” She tries. “What does that mean for us?”
Andrea answers honestly. “I don’t know.”
“You’re my person.”
“That’s not going to change.”
She feels her there next to her. She doesn’t know how not to screw this up. She knows she should have thought about that before she offered and before they had had sex. But that didn’t help her in the moment. It was now and it was them.
She hears her own voice shake. “We could try.”
“What does that mean?”
“Would you want that with me?”
She looks up to find Lena already looking at her. She’s met with the woman who she loves more than anyone else. It’s always been different between them. She didn’t want to force herself into some box with a label on the outside.
“I’m always going to want you Lena.”
She has a hand on either side of her face. She’s gentle with Andrea. Her lips find hers. It’s soft and slow. It’s not the same as last night, there’s no urgency. Lena is kissing her and Andrea is kissing her back. It felt better than good. Andrea didn’t know how Lena did it but there she was. They were on that train together leaving where they once were. Turning back wasn’t an option
Lena is the one to break the kiss. She’s inches away. She says the words which tell Andrea the one thing she she never knew how to ask for. “I’m yours.”