jackie chan shit + boardgames
"are you going to buy something?" the cashier asked irritably, watching peter stand staring at the various snacks on neat rows.
peter nodded apologetically, and went back to calculating which food would satisfy his hunger the most for the cheapest price.
worrying his lip, he finally reached out and picked up a pack of oatmeal. peter then walked over to the refrigerated aisle and grabbed a big pot of yoghurt.
this'll do me, he thought, though wrinkling his nose at the diary product. he absolutely loathed yoghurt, but it was cheap and filling.
he paid for his items, shoving the packages into his bag and starting to walk down the street, the familiar sounds of cars screeching and honking strangely comforting.
it was around 9ish, and tipping down with rain. he hastened to get back so he could patrol.
peter gripped his backpack strap as his worn trainers sloshed through puddles, and he was just longingly inhaling the scent of chinese food as he passed a restaurant when he heard a woman shriek nearby.
oh fuck. it wasn't good when muggings occurred and he wasn't in his suit.
peter started running, making an effort to not go too fast, like inhumanly, as that would surely attract attention.
he couldn't focus his senses with so many conflicting sounds happening around the area, so he just ran on instinct.
"get off me! you bastards!" peter heard a woman scream, and he skidded into the entrance of a dingy shortcut alley, spraying water.
a cowering young woman in a red raincoat was being cornered by four dudes, all jeering and making threatening moves.
one of them, a big beefy man with sunglasses(in the rain? what a wierdo) turned to look at peter.
shades elbowed the others, and they stopped tormenting the poor girl to square up against the brown-haired teenager.
peter felt fear without his mask, but forced his composure to remain calm. he wasn't used to concealing his expressions.
"hey guys" he called, his voice slightly squeaky but loud and confident. "is this really the best way to spend a splendid showery wednesday evening?"
the second man stepped forward, clutching the woman's purse from where he had been mockingly dangling it above her.
"go home, kid" he snarled, malice glinting in his eyes, his free hand not-so-subtly curling into a fist.
peter continued to inch forward slowly, yanking his hood over his head to retain a tiny bit of anonymity. "no thank you, kind sir" he said cheerily.
sunglasses and fist started to approach, the other men staying behind to look out.
peter glared as he saw the third guy kick the girl in the side ; her whimpers echoed around the alley but were muffled by the rain pounding on the bricks.
i don't have time for this whole intimidation gimmick, peter thought, as manhood mcgee and his twitchy buddy sneered insults. he caught the women's fearful eyes, curled up in a ball behind the human wall of toxic masculinity, and he offered her a kind, reassuring smile. though he knew she probably had 0 faith in this scrawny git that had stumbled upon her assault.
peter aimed to startle the men twice his age, so he threw down his backpack on to the wet ground and sprinted forward suddenly.
as he'd predicted, the men's eyes widened in surprise as the skinny nerd barrelled towards them, but at the last minute jumped over their heads, flipping and landing a good few paces away.
peter made quick work of punching the third guy in the face. he scrambled away and took off down the street, ignoring his mate's angry cries of 'get back here!'.
the fourth guy was a little braver, putting up his fists, but peter swept his legs out from under him and slammed his head into the pavement.
he felt his neck tingle alarmingly, and peter spun around and grabbed the fist that was inches away from his face. he twisted it, the man yelping, and he flipped him over onto the ground whilst elbowing sunglasses away.
in a blur of punches and disarming motions, two guys lay groaning on the floor, one out cold.
peter wiped his hands off on his jeans and turned to the woman, who was staring at him in absolute awe.
he offered her a hand, and she took it shakily.
"are you alright, ma'am?" he asked softly, leading her away from the scene and back down the alley.
she stared at him, and he registered that she was probably in shock. either from being attacked or from witnessing a scrawny stick of a boy do some seriously impressive jackie chan shit.
"it's going to be all right, you're okay. it's okay" peter murmered, stopping to pick up his soaking bag and slinging it over his shoulder.
she nodded, lip trembling.
"would you like me to walk you home?" peter offered, and the girl shook her head.
"I-I'm alright, I'll just - stay out of the alleyways-" she stammered, voice breaking on 'alleyways'.
red raincoat lady suddenly burst into tears, and peter held her gently as she sobbed, clutching his sodden hoodie.
"its okay, its okay, it's over" he whispered, heart aching at the thought of her pain.
how many times he'd had to do this, to witness so many people be assaulted and how much it affected them.
after a few minutes, she pulled back, eyes red and puffy.
"thank you so much" she whispered, and peter mustered an easygoing grin.
"no worries at all" he promised, and she smiled faintly back.
tony clinked his champagne glass against pepper's, smiling.
"cheers" they said, and drank.
"you know what" pepper started, and tony jumped in with "you're pregnant with a chitauri child".
that earned him a smack on the arm, and he chuckled.
"i think we need to get wanda some freinds" pepper mused, sipping from the expensive champagne flute. "she's 17, she should have some friends her age to hang out with, it can't be good for her to just know us."
"how would we do that, then?" tony asked sceptically, and his girlfreind shrugged.
"no clue. I just think it'd be nice for her to get on with some teenagers" she said.
tony nodded, and she added "she might do well getting a part-time job or something"
"avenging is her job!" tony protested, and pepper waved him off.
"just the experience!" she said, rubbing her neck. "the experience of an actual job-"
"would be mind-numbingly boring and tedious" tony cut in, and pepper glared at him with mock anger.
"oh whatever. I've got to get going now, anyways." pepper stood, grabbing her jacket and placing her unfinished drink down on the table.
"already?" tony whined, standing and pulling her in for a hug.
"I'm sorry, babe, just work shit that needs sorting out"
she sighed as he held her, and reluctantly pulled away.
"ill see you guys tommorow night though, I think!" she called, walking toward the elevator, and he grinned.
"i look forward to it" he replied, winking, and she rolled her eyes but blew a kiss as the elevator doors closed.
tony rubbed his hands together like a stereotypical movie villain. now, lab time? or training? or what...
lab, he decided.
he downed the rest of his champagne, turning to walk down the stairs to the lounge before he heard "stark!"
steve strode toward him, looking well-rested(how envious tony was) and relaxed. "you keep missing out on game night!" the blonde complained.
"well, there's lots to handle, being an extremely intelligent and busy billionaire" tony replied dryly.
"there is always time for scrabble!" steve insisted, and tony snorted.
"you should put that on a t-shirt, rogers. it's bloody inspirational."
"oh shut up, stark" steve said, grinning.
the two started walking down the stairs to the lounge, still bickering.
"and trust capsicle here to like sCrAbBle" tony announced to the room. rhodey looked up from where he was re-enacting missions to sam from the counter.
"you're one to talk, tony" bruce said, a smile tugging at his lips as he placed a stack of boardgames on the table. "you fit your stereotype, mr i've-never-lost-a-monopoly-game"
wanda giggled quietly next to clint on the couch, who spoke up loudly. "I don't get why we have to play board games anyway. what's wrong with a little mario kart?"
steve looked at him distastefully. "I don't understand all the hype around that video game. it's just a bunch of cartoon people driving cars and throwing bananas and snails"
sam and rhodey burst out laughing as clint stuttered. "that's-oh my god. you absolute fossil"
steve shook his head. "nothing beats a nice ol board game."
tony grabbed a fistful of popcorn from a bowl bruce just set on the table. "where's assassin 1 and assassin 2?"he asked through a mouthful, and wanda replied with "they're training still"
tony nodded, impressed, while clint huffed. "I'm assassin 3?"he asked in disgust, and the others nodded.
"I'm beyond offended" he said, crossing his arms dramatically.
"oh, loosen up, legolas. have some popcorn" tony said, offering him the bowl.
the elevator doors slid open as natasha and bucky walked in, both sweaty and exhausted.
"you guys were going at it for hours, weren't you!" steve called, innocently oblivious to how the rest of the team immediately started stifling laughter at the innuendo.
"i imagine you're quite worn out then" tony chimed in, and rhodey stuffed his knuckles in his mouth to cover his sniggers at wanda's obvious confusion.
"i don't-" she started, but clint yelled "did you pull a muscle?" and bucky blushed slightly, sliding onto the seat beside a bemused steve.
natasha marched over and flicked his ear.
"ow" he complained, and she poked her tongue out at him.
"actual children" bucky muttered, and sam grinned and threw a piece of popcorn at him, which assassin 1 crushed in his metal arm.
"right. I vote monopoly!" tony exclaimed, and was greeted with boos and protests. "what? cmon, it's fun!"
"fun for the man who literally understands money and business more than women" sam said, and the others cheered and laughed.
tony glared at him. "no suit upgrade for you, this week" sam shrugged, smiling wryly
"okay, let's start off on charades, then work up to pictionary or something" bruce suggested, and wanda and clint agreed, nodding.
"mr banner, ever the negotiator" tony chirped, clapping the scientist on the back.
"fuck, I'm shit at pictionary" natasha said, and steve raised an eyebrow at her.
"oh, sorry grandpa" she deadpanned, flipping him off, and wanda giggled.
"pictionary is not that bad, natasha" she said, her accented voice quiet.
"okay ill go first!" clint yelled, bounding up to the centre of the room enthusiastically.
"okay, so" he held up four fingers.
"four words" the heroes chorused, and he put up one finger.
"first word" nat said, and he nodded, then pointed outside.
"window!" "evening!" "rain!" the team exclaimed, voices overlapping.
"night!" bruce said, and clint nodded eagerly, beaming.
the others started mumbling to themselves. "night... night in.. hmm.."
clint waved for their attention, and held up his fourth finger. tony grinned at clint's hyperactivity, and yelled "fourth word!"
the archer began making strange movements, motioning that there was a huge sort of box.
they all stared at him in confusion, and he sighed, continuing to make out there was a big square object.
"rubix cube!" yelled sam, and clint glowered at him, shaking his head.
this continued for another five minutes, clint desperately flapping his arms, the avengers staring at him with a mix of amusement and pity.
"alright, I'm calling it" tony said, and clint let out a groan of frustration.
"NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM!" he wailed, and bucky started laughing. "how in the world would we have gotten that?"
"yeah, clint. even for you, that was terrible" nat said, smirking.
"you are all deluded and now dead to me" clint muttered, throwing himself down on the floor beside wanda.
"i have never seen that movie" wanda said, and tony gasped. "game night cancelled! you have to see it oh my god"
"tony it's not that good, there's a lot of plotholes" rhodey said dryly, and tony scowled.
"who gives a fuck about plotholes? it has a giant t rex and sacagawea"
"what is a sacagawea? " steve asked curiously, and tony pinched his nose. "you guys are going to kill me"
steve looked on helplessly as natasha started doing an impression of some character from the film while the others cracked up... what the hell was gum gum for dum dum?
"let's play spin the bottle!" sam cried, and rhodey hit him with a pillow.
"go to horny jail" bruce deadpanned, and clint fell on the floor laughing.
"okay, let's play pictionary, then we'll educate dear wanda and watch night at the museum!" said rhodey, and the others cheered.
"wanda's first!" clint insisted, and she blushed. "everyone knows she's amazing at drawing"
"am not" she mumbled, face scarlet and partially hidden behind her coppery hair.
they all protested, and tony started chanting WANDA! WANDA!
she sighed but got up and grabbed the whiteboard and marker from the box on the table.
"dog!" clint yelled, before her pen even touched the pad, and she glared at him. natasha leaned forward and flicked his ear again .
wanda started to draw, sketching vague lines, but stopped instantly at JARVIS's exclamation.
"sorry to interrupt, but there appears to be a disturbance 10 blocks away"
steve was the first to react, jumping to his feet with a "what sort of disturbance, JARVIS?"
"there seems to be some sort of mutant or someone with the ability to control other people's actions. currently, there are a dozen civilians wreaking havoc"
sam groaned but got to his feet like the others. they all ran off to go to their various rooms and grab their equipment and suit up.
clint's boot caught on the ground and he fell flat on his face as they dashed down the corridor, and bucky choked down a laugh.
"have a nice trip, aGeNt barton?" he asked, and clint held up his middle finger as he lay spread-eagled on the floor