Apple Juice
Himiko is infinitely relieved to be back in the presence of her two best friends, she’s been waiting for this moment for a while now. All the awkward passings at work, the attempts to avoid contact around campus. It should all come to a screeching halt today...if she can just figure out what to say to them. She knows that Ray will probably forgive her with great ease, but Miki? Miki is known for holding grudges and being petty. Especially when you insult her little thrupple.
She just thought that by the time the two of them made it to the deli where she’d invited them to meet her, that she would have all her apologies figured out, but she’s coming up very short. What if ‘I’m sorry’ simply isn’t good enough?
Nervously her hands play with the frilly edges of the gifts she made them and never gave them out of fear. What if Miki doesn’t like hers? She’ll never know if she doesn’t try so before she can change her mind again she slaps the makeshift coupon books on the table before each of them and professes her stupidity with puppy dog eyes. They were right, they had always been right about pretty much everything and instead of turning her back on them for a guy she should’ve given them the benefit of the doubt. When have they ever tried to hurt her and why would they ever want to?
She got too far ahead of herself and every bit of girl code she thought she knew went out the window. In simple terms, “I was an idiot, I humiliated myself and tore apart our friendship for nothing. I miss you guys and right now I really really need you I have nobody.”
As she thought Rachel is the first to extend her forgiveness. It comes out just as easily as everything does with her. Without an ounce of anger and malice, as if she’s simply been biding her time and waiting for this moment. “Yeah that’s fine, I told you I would be there for you and well here I am. When do you wanna move back in because I’ll have to find a shelter for Zack to stay in? Oh and I’ll clean your room too, he’s really messy but I tried.”
“Wait.” Miki calls, staring at Himiko head on, glare in full effect. She holds up the voucher book, waving it around lazily and grimaces slightly. “This is cute or whatever and I would like to forgive you, but I can’t get past how easily you walked out on us for a guy you barely knew. It hurt Himiko and it made us feel like we weren’t as high up on your priority list as you were on ours. So, I have to know how serious about this you are...did you...break up...with dick?”
Oof...see, well the thing about it is… “no.” She sighs.
Miki scoffs, chuckling dryly and shaking her head. “Unbelievable. Fucking unbelievable. You just sat here and told us about how dumb you felt and how he basically kidnapped and assaulted you and now you have the audacity to tell us that you haven’t broken up with that sick fuck yet?! What is wrong with you Himiko?!”
“He didn’t kidnap me!” She objects immediately.
“Oh god I love how you didn’t deny the assault!” The older girl laughs. “You said he dragged you out of the club and took you back to his parents house with him right? You didn’t wanna leave the club and he made which for your information is fucking kidnapping.”
Himiko deflates in her chair and Rachel sighs heavily. The blue eyed blonde rests a gentle hand on Miki’s shoulder, silently telling her to calm down. “Himi, Miki just wants the best for you, obviously . And I won’t say it as rudely as she did, but honestly why haven’t you broken up with him yet? Has he not already proved to you that he’s not good enough?”
“But that’s exactly it though!” She whines. Himiko groans, leaning against the table and tangling her fingers in her hair. Bakugou should be a part of her not so distant past now. She should have left his home and never looked back, never thought twice, but she can’t. He has this insane hold on her that she can’t free herself from. As if his hand is locked around her throat and keeping her right where he wants her. It’s not as firm as it was before break, before everything that happened, but it’s still too tight to just slip out of.
She feels things for him that she doesn’t want to feel, that she can’t help but feel. She still has hopes for them, pathetic hopes, but hopes nonetheless. “Guys I spent months living with him day in and day out. He’s not all bad. He has a lot of moments that looking back on it now I should’ve punched him in the face and walked away, but he has other moments where he is trying and I can tell. I mean why would he try at all if some part of him didn’t really love me?”
“Has he even told you he loves you? Like at all?” Rachel questions.
“Well...not...verbally.” She mutters. “But-
“No! No buts!” Miki exclaims, folding her arms over her chest angrily. “Fucking hell girl, get it through your head that it’s never gonna happen!”
“Well…” Ray starts.
The auburn groans loudly, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “Not you too.”
“No, not me too, but this is exactly what pushed her away from us last time. I personally don’t want to spend another night wondering what kind of hell you’re going through down the hall so just for the sake of getting you back in our room where I know you’re safe...if this is what you want...if you really, truly feel like a change is coming then...okay.”
Himiko and Miki mirror each other in their confusion. It feels like a trick somehow...but how exactly?
“Look I’ll tell you the same way I told him. I’m not your mom. I’m not your keeper, I’m just your friend, your best friend. While my role in your life does consist of supporting you and being there for you, having your back, it does not consist of babying you and holding your hand through every decision you make. You are an adult, you are a 20 going on 21 year old woman and you are old enough to know what kind of bullshit you should and should not be allowing in your life.”
“I trust you to make better decisions for yourself, but I also understand that I cannot change your mind about people or things when you’ve already made it up and I’m not going to waste my breath trying to force you to think the same way that we do. So I say this not because I approve or even like the angry little piece of shit, but because I have had enough of this ridiculous feud and I feel as though it is time for you to come home.”
Rachel doesn’t like to lecture, and Himiko hates when she does, because when she does it always leaves her feeling weird inside. Not because she was just scolded but because there’s always this underlying tone in what she says that can never be placed. Or at least she was never able to place it before because she didn’t realize what it was, but she knows now that it’s a manipulator’s tone.
If she were hearing it from Bakugou right now she would feel sad, but coming from Rachel she doesn’t know how to take it. Her friend isn’t trying to get her to do something awful or demeaning...maybe it’s just her own way of desperately asking her to break up with Bakugou without actually having to ask her. Begging has never been a trait of hers, so maybe she just relies on subtle manipulation in place of begging?
Or maybe she’s overthinking this. Maybe her cruel treatment from Bakugou is making her paranoid. It just feels like another reason to cut ties, but she won’t, she can’t. Not yet, she’ll just have to tread very carefully. He heard her the last time they talked and he knows she’s not kidding. She’s not a doormat anymore.
“Now that that’s out of the way, let’s do number three in my coupon book.”
Bakugou has assembled his team for an emergency meeting. Kirishima, Kaminari, Deku, and half and half all sit together huddled on his dorm couch awaiting his instructions. He has called the four of them here today because he needs their...fuck, he needs their help. And he hates it, but he’s desperate.
The five of them are the official members of the ‘Win Toga Back’ alliance. All four of these idiots have girls and their relationships are working out so much better than his. Even Denki’s weird ass open relationship. How someone could ever be cool with their girlfriend sleeping with other guys is beyond him, but obviously something is working for them and he is determined to find out what it is.
He has come up with a list of ideas of his own that he wants to run by them before he opens up the floor for them. Idea one, he takes her on some lavish and fancy ass vacation or ‘baecation’ as they say now. Idea two, he buys them beautiful promise rings with each other’s name engraved on them, idea three, he just marries her because he doesn’t know what else to do.
“Fucking hell Bakugou talk about overdoing it.” Kirishima mutters.
“For as long as I have known you, I always knew you didn’t use your brain as much as you should.” Todoroki smirks.
“Did you have any ideas that...I don’t know, wouldn’t bankrupt you before age 25?” Kaminari laughs.
“Okay, guys, I think what matters here is that Kacchan is trying. He has the wrong idea entirely, but he’s trying.”
“Shut up Deku.” He spits. “But I am trying so thanks assholes. Listen, the old hag told me that I needed to show her that I was serious about this with my actions. These are all action based ideas are they fucking not?!”
“Yeah you also said that your mom told you to stop spending all their money and though these are...kind of action-y, they are still material based things.” The redhead explains hesitantly.
Bakugou huffs in frustration. Materials are all he knows how to do, it’s what he does best. Camie loved shiny shit and before Himiko she was the only girl he cared enough about to want to impress. He has never been romantic. He has never seen romance. How in the hell does he do this?
Denki jumps up from his spot and declares that it’s time for them to take over and for Bakugou to sit and listen and the others agree. So now the roles are reversed and he’s sitting on the couch and the four of them stand in front of him with their collaborative ideas.
Do things that make her happy. “Todo’s family has money,” Kaminari begins, “nice money, but Toga’s family has money. Her dad could afford to buy everyone and everything in this room without putting a dent in their account so getting her materialistic things to show her you care is pointless. She could get those things herself.”
“Indeed. You have to show her you care by doing things that she would never expect you to do, but things that she would most definitely want you to do. The weird things that she likes.” Kirishima adds.
Immediately Bakugou’s mind goes to the pegging adventure they took, but he thinks that’s not the exact brand of weird they mean. “It doesn’t take huge acts to prove your love and loyalty to someone.” Deku smiles. “Whenever I hurt Chako’s feelings I start by apologizing and when I apologize I make sure that I specify what it is I’m apologizing for so she knows that I understand how I hurt her.”
“Right, and after the apology comes the actions. If Momo is upset I make time to do everything she likes. For instance, we cook her favorite meal together, then we sit down on a bunch of soft comfy pillows, dim the lights, and watch marathons of her favorite show. When she’s content with that we take a bubble bath together, I apply her favorite lavender scented body lotion and we go to sleep listening to whale tunes. In the morning she’s happy again and all is forgiven, we get back to the regularly scheduled program.”
“Dude that’s so fucking manly.” Kirishima gushes.
Bakugou can’t believe that shit is considered manly. It sounds soft as shit and stupid. Cooking, tv, and a bath?
“Oh man, if I piss Jirou off we have a private ‘listening’ party and I sing all her favorite songs for her in acoustics.”
They can’t be serious, it can’t be that easy for them. “Alright fine, that works for you idiots, but I’m not hearing what exactly I’m supposed to be doing!”
Todoroki sighs through his nose. “Because you’re not a nice person.” He replies with a shrug. “Nice people would automatically know what to do when they’ve hurt someone. It’s only mean and shallow people that try to buy affection from others.”
“Not true.” He spits back, holding up his wrist to show him the watch he was given for his birthday. “Toga is a nice person and she gave me this expensive ass Rolex for my birthday.”
“It was your birthday.” The hetechrome male says. “Remember when she made you cupcakes though? And wrote you a beautiful poem, made you a coupon book? That was her being nice and affectionate and it didn’t take a Rolex to do it.”
Red eyes cut towards another pair of red because obviously Kirishima and his big mouth are how Todoroki of all people found out about the poem and the coupon book. But fine, he guesses he sees the point being made there. The question remains still however, what does he do?
“Remember how I mentioned how Himiko writes fan fiction?” Denki chimes. “Read her fucking story man, duh. Surprise her by talking about it and telling her how much you like it, shock her by showing her that you understand the symbolism of the characters and the struggle that Hina is undergoing on her quest to find love...madness.”
“She does makeup tutorials too. Do one with her.” Deku grins. “Or do one of those ‘my boyfriend does my makeup’ challenges with her!”
Kirishima drops heavy hands on Bakugou’s shoulders and stares at him with a serious look. “Bakugou...your girlfriend..she cannot cook, but you can. Teach her. I’m sure she would love to learn. You guys can make that your thing, cooking lessons.”
Reading fanfiction, doing makeup tutorials, and cooking lessons….it doesn’t sound terrible. He just hopes that this works.
He dove headfirst into his redemp acts starting by hunting down her fanfic account. There were several stories up there, some short and some long, but the story he was looking for was going twenty chapters strong and oh so many words. He was committed to this though so he hunkered down at the coffee shop on campus with his phone in front of his face and dug in.
Never in his life has he watched ‘Love Madness’ but he doesn’t think he would have to to be able to follow along with her story. At first he was confused because he thought the whole premise of fan fiction was about writing for a fandom and it’s characters, but all her main characters are originals. Then he understood that she was using the real characters as cameo characters to push her own underlying story and that story is about Claire’s best friend Hina who is in love with two guys Katsume and Tatsuya.
Katsume has been her life long friend and she’s yearned for his affection for years and now as young collegiates she’s finally getting exactly that. Unfortunately for them, in her time of waiting she crossed paths with Tatsuya who also caught her eye and has been very blunt about his own affection for her. Now she’s in the mix of a heated love triangle while she tries to find out who she really wants to be with.
Katsume seems to her most obvious choice, but after having to stand by and watch him date other people for years and never look twice at her until he ran out of options, she’s not sure if she should just go with her original desire or if she should give in to Tatsuya who has never made her doubt her worth, even if Tatsuya is a little rough around the edges.
He’s become invested in the story, invested enough to realize from the physical descriptions that he is Katsume and dammit all to hell if Tatsuya couldn’t be anybody other than Todoroki’s shit head older brother. He doesn’t know how much Dabi differs from his Tatsuya persona, but Katsuki differs quite a bit.
Katsume is an unintentional prick. A genuine sweetheart it seems, but he makes decisions that continuously hurt Hina without even realizing he’s hurting her with these choices. Is this how she wants him to be? Kind, giving, doing his absolute all to prove to her that he’s her best option?
And what does he do with the knowledge that at some point and possibly still, she has deep feelings for Dabi? Or is that just Hina? Is Himiko just using this to elevate the plot? If she would finish the damn story he would have all his answers! After twenty fucking chapters how can she still be going?
He has to take a break from it before he gives himself a headache so he turns to her videos. Again, there’s so many, so long, so out of his zone, but he watches them anyways. Mostly. Okay so he skims through the majority of them, but at least he looked. He understands the basics and he doesn’t need to actually know how to turn himself into a werewolf, but credit is due where it’s due. She’s very talented.
Can I see you tonight?
Read at 3:45 PM
He tries not to get too antsy about the fact that she hasn’t replied yet. They haven’t talked since the night she ripped him a new asshole and now when he’s on the brink of a turnaround all he wants to do is talk to her and prove to her that he’s trying to change and she won’t even acknowledge him.
If he hunts her down and makes her talk to him he would be again crossing a line that he doesn’t want to cross. So he waits as patiently as he can and after nearly an hour of being ignored he tries again.
Please? I miss you
Read at 4:15PM
I promise I’ll leave you alone if you want, I just really need to talk to you
Read at 4:20PM
..babe?
Looney Bin: One hour
One hour is not nearly enough time, but he’ll have to make it work. He quickly heads back to his dorm, checking his watch the whole way. One hour to show her that he heard her and that he’s listening. Gods please be with him and don’t let him fuck this up.
“So...just so that I know I heard correctly...you want us to start having cooking nights together, twice a week. You also want us to start using the coupon book and do one coupon a week until it’s finished. You would like to have...chapter discussions about my fanfic and lastly, you want to help me make a video?”
“...is that...not what you wanted?”
When Bakugou asked to see her tonight she wasn’t expecting this. He’s being so nice and open. It’s like he was bitten by a generosity bug. It’s almost scary, almost like it’s a trick and it will backfire in her face in a horrible way. She will tread carefully.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, because I appreciate what you’re trying to do here, but did someone put you up to this? Like is there a tiny mic in your ear?”
He tsks and falls back in his bed in quick defeat. “No.” He whines. “I mean there’s no mic, but maybe I outsourced a little.”
“Outsourced.”
“Yeah, Himiko. I needed help fixing everything. I’m a fucking idiot when it comes to romance and apparently just being nice in general so yes I outsourced to my loser teammates to get help figuring out how to make it up to you.”
Ugh, he’s trying so hard. This is what she wanted though, she wanted him to try. She thought that all the gifts Rachel had piled in their dorm from him was as far as he would go with trying though. Now he’s planning shit and thinking outside of a box she never believed him to be able to get out of. It’s touching.
“Katsuki, I really do appreciate the effort and I’m not opposed to any of it, but I just need to make sure that you know that these things won’t fix it. You do know that right? I mean it’s a start and I like it, but what you did to me...everything you did to me is going to take a long time to fix. And I need more than you just doing nice things for me. I want to know you, the real you. I want you to be open with me, be able to tell me anything while doing acts of kindness. Can you do that?”
The blonde male sits up and scoots a bit closer to her and Himiko resists the urge to back up. He swore he was going to start over, he swore he would change, and he swears he can do this too. Be open with her. But it will take some time.
Apparently he’s starting therapy which makes her very happy to hear. His first appointment is next week and he thinks he’s gonna have some kind of immediate break through, but Toga knows that’s now how this works. She won’t kill his hope though. If that’s what he needs to tell himself to get in there and make progress then that's fine by her.
This is a lot to process for one night and she’s not about to stress herself out overthinking any of it so when his hour is up she retreats back to her room and promises to come and collect the rest of her things from him tomorrow. It feels weird. Leaving him to go to sleep in her own bed, alone. She had gotten so used to curling up beside him that sleeping by herself feels cold and somehow suffocating. There’s plenty of breathing room, but she feels like she can’t breathe. Himiko doesn’t like sleeping without him, but it’s for the best...right?
Katsuki’s therapy appointment wasn’t until Thursday afternoon. She decided not to see him again until then. Space feels like the best option at this moment. If she spends all her time around him she knows she’ll just fall right back under his spell and she doesn’t want that. But staying away isn’t easy either.
She checks her phone repeatedly, hoping for messages from him. In class she constantly fights the urge to turn to him and throw her arms around him in forgiveness. She looks for excuses to have to be around him, like their project, but luckily she has friends again to help her not do those idiotic things.
Rachel has become her unofficial new partner to help her finish her assignment. Miki is the one she hugs when she needs to feel strong arms around her. At night she cuddles against Ray’s back and plays in her hair. But even though she has these options it still doesn’t stop her from eagerly awaiting the end of his first session just so she can see how it’s going. She knows nothing will change just with one attempt, but damn if she isn’t finding herself hopeful.
There’s a little over half an hour left until he should be back so to bide her time she’s trying to take care of chores. Like laundry for one, gosh there’s so much laundry to do. She hates the never ending cycle of wearing, washing, and folding. Maybe she should just be a nudist?
The door to the laundry room opens and out of pure habit and nosiness she peers over her shoulder to glance at the new patron and finds herself immediately engaged in a stare off with the doe eyed trollip herself.
The other girl just stands there with a subtle smirk on her face and a basket of her own tucked under her arm. Does the universe just hate her or something? Why does she keep getting out in these shitty situations?
“Well, hello...you.” Camie smiles as she proceeds to claim a machine right next to her. “What was your name again? Hanako?”
“Himiko. But I feel like you know that?” She sighs.
“Eh, same thing. So how are things? I hear you and the bro went splisville. Talk about takin’ an ‘L’ right?” She chuckles, tossing in random clusters of clothing into the machine. “Gotta say though, didn’t think you guys would last as long as you did. I imagined you breaking a lot sooner than this.”
Himiko chews on her lip, fighting the urge to hit this spiteful, home wrecking bitch. Her father would never forgive her if she got kicked out of school for fighting. “What are you even doing here? In this laundry room? Don’t you live like across campus or something?”
“No!” Camie laughs. “I mean, I did last semester, but I been moved here...ya know, before you and the bro started ‘dating.’ Mmm, I guess Katsuki felt like it would be more convenient for us if I were closer...you get it right?”
Toga giggles a little to herself, initiating her breathing sequence. “I’m not gonna hit her, I’m not gonna hit her, I won’t hit this bitch even though she deserves to be hit!”
“Um..yo I can hear you?”
“Oh can you?!” She exclaims madly. “Can you hear me slut?! Could you still hear me if I kicked in the fucking head and ruptured your goddamn ear drums!?!”
Had Toga known Camie‘s major she wouldn’t have threatened her at the top of her lungs. Or maybe she would have, there’s no way to know now.
There is a reason why Camie is so good at being such shit and getting away with it. She’s a grade A manipulator, the best of the best, a performative actor. Literally she’s a fucking theater kid and it’s entirely too easy for her to conjure up tears and start panicking as if she was actually scared that Toga was going to assault her.
Suddenly she’s sobbing into the arms of their RA about how ‘unsafe’ she feels and demanding something be done about this ‘menace’ among them and really it just enrages Toga more. So this is her life now, being restrained in a dorm hallway while spewing hate and threats about how she’ll give the little home wrecking whore something to really cry about. Fighting over a guy that treats her like shit and embarrasses her all the time. She’s turned into one of those women she used to laugh at online. The ones she used to call dumb. Oh no, she’s a shaderoom girl.
“You’re not getting kicked out of school though right?”
“No.” She grumbles, still seething over her reprimand. “Your lovely little girlfriend was so kind enough to beg for mercy on my behalf. She truly doesn’t think I’m a monster, just going through a difficult time.”
Bakugou scoffs at her, annoyed with the way she’s glaring at him and getting snippy with him as if he threatened to ‘brutally assault’ Camie.
Talk about a grand return. Honestly he thought Himiko knew Camie lived in the same building as them. It’s the same fucking building! Apparently she has blinders on and doesn’t pay attention to her surroundings and had no idea Camie lived there so when they ran into each other in the laundry room things got a bit...out of hand.
Toga, allegedly, threatened to cause bodily harm and it landed her in hot water with the dean of course. But Camie apparently saved her ass by pleading for a light sentence and claiming she wasn’t harmed. So Toga got off with a first and final warning and is basically on adult punishment.
He wasn’t sure if he should engage her when he found out, but he wanted to be supportive so he invited her to go on a late night walk with him.
“Why are you mad at me? I didn’t do anything...this time.” He shrugs.
His girlfriend huffs, turning her nose up at him. “Did you summon her to our residency hall so you could cheat more conveniently?”
His step falters just slightly and he frowns down at her. “Toga she moved into our hall before we started going out.”
“I hope you know you’re not denying summoning her.”
“I can’t summon someone to live somewhere? There’s an entire system! No, no I did not summon her. She hated her last roommate so she switched. It had nothing to do with me.”
“Not what she said.” She chuckles dryly. This time he stops walking altogether.
Today he learned calming techniques to use when he’s starting to feel negative emotions arise. He starts to use them, breathing evenly and reminding himself of everything he could lose if he blows up right now. He also mentally validates her anger and feelings to remind himself that she’s not just being this way to piss him off, there is a reason for it.
“Himi, I.. I understand that you don’t trust me and I have done nothing to gain it from you... but it” he struggles to find the correct words to say. Being so non confrontational is difficult for him, but it will be better in the long run. “It hurts my f...feelings that you believe her over me.” There he’s said it. He’ll ignore the wave of nausea he feels and the nagging voice in his head telling him he’s being weak and deal with all of that later.
Toga turns to face him with a confused look on her face. She can’t believe he just said that either and that makes him feel worse. Is he really not a nice person? Just how awful is he and why has nobody ever checked him on this before? ‘They have, you just never cared.’
He thought that therapy was supposed to quell his anxiety and he’s only had one session but he’s scared to go back if it’s going to make him feel like this. Completely out of his comfort zone.
“Did you just..talk about your feelings?” She questions softly.
“Yes.” He nods stiffly. “My feelings are probably the last thing you wanna hear about right now and I get that, but I’m trying really, really fu-freaking hard to be open like you wanted. And the therapist said that talking about my feelings would help me be less angry all the time because they’re not being bottled up, maybe they were right I don’t know but right now I don’t feel like they were right. I feel like I’m more exposed than ever and uncomfortable but despite all that I know that this is what you want. It’s what you want so I’m gonna...I’m gonna keep doing it.. I guess.”
He brings a hand up to rub at the mounting tension in his neck. He had this same reaction when his therapist asked him to talk about his emotions as well and he looked at him as if something was wrong with him because of how hard it seemed for him to do something as simple as talk to someone. Why is it so hard for him to talk to someone?
“Okay.” Toga mumbles slowly. “It looks like it’s physically hurting you though...so…”
He chuckles at her and also to relieve some of the pressure in his chest. His feet move, backing him into the brick forefront of a store that he presses himself flush against for some kind of stability.
Toga approaches him cautiously, worry coating her face as she watches him fall into the works of a panic attack. He has no idea where this is even coming from, but he’s embarrassed. His eyes close because he doesn’t like how she’s looking at him, like he’s fragile.
“Katsuki? Is it okay if I hug you?” He doesn’t bother answering her question verbally, just pulls her quickly into him, securing his arms around her waist while she wraps hers as tightly as she can around his neck. “It’s okay.” She mutters softly.
“I’m sorry. This is supposed to be about you and I-“
“Shhh sh sh. I’m fine, but you’re not so we’re gonna take care of you now, mkay?” She’s always taking care of him. “I used to have panic attacks when I was little. Always before I had a competition or the first day of school. My mommy would hug me just like this, really tight and she’d kiss me, like this.” She whispers before kissing his cheek. “Then we’d close our eyes and count to five affirmations together and when we open our eyes, everything would be okay.”
He nods his head against her, sniffling slightly and squeezes a little tighter around her. “One, you are strong. Two, you are handsome. Three, you are brave. Four, you are kind. Five, you are amazing Bakugou Katsuki. Now open your eyes baby.”
He peeks with one eye first before allowing himself to open both of them fully. The world hasn’t ended, nobody’s laughing at him for his breakdown. It’s just Toga there, holding him and playing in his hair. The anxiety is still there, but there’s less of it, and he feels safe like this. “You...thank you, Himiko.”
“Of course.” She coos. “Katsuki, we may not be perfect and there’s a lot of hurt and stuff between us, it’s gonna take a while to fully be okay with you again, but I chose to stay with you so I’m not just gonna ignore you when you need me.”
“So what? You’re just gonna hug me like a child every time I have a panic attack because I tried to talk about my feelings?”
“If I have to, if you need me to.” She tells him, smiling up at him. “I like hugging you and you obviously don’t do this a lot so I get that it’s hard, but I don’t think it’s talking about your feelings that you’re so afraid of. You’re scared of opening up and then getting rejected and I get that too.”
He exhaled heavily through his nose, resting his head on top of hers. That sounds so much better than what he previously thought. Much more realistic in his eyes. “Do you still love me?” He asks her quietly.
“Yes, I love you Katsuki.”
“Am I allowed to ask you to come back to my room?” He asks next. He doesn’t want the moment to end and what if he freaks out again and she’s not there?
Toga giggles, “I think that maybe we should keep to our rooms... but I don’t think the occasional sleep over is a bad idea.” Acceptable, better than nothing. And just one last question…
“I need you to teach me. I’ve been trying to figure it out on my own, but I can’t. I need you to teach me how to love you the right way. Is that a shitty request?”
“Nope. Learning your partner's love language is important and I would rather you ask than not care at all.” He feels relaxed now and far more comfortable than he did earlier. This is what he’s been looking for, her acceptance and forgiveness. Camie almost succeeded in ruining his redemption, but he’s not as weak as she thought. They’re not as weak as she thought they were. He doesn’t need a dumb alliance, he just doesn’t need flashy gifts, he just needs her and her love language.