Vines & Shorts 2
Peter: It is Wednesday, my dudes. AAAHHHHHHH
Clint, clearly bored at a avengers press conference, "And lastly thank you Tony for giving me Aids."
Tony, scrambling to the nearest microphone, "HEARING AIDS I GAVE HIM HIS NEW HEARING AIDS!"
Bucky dancing with T'Challa on his shoulder. "TWO OF HEARTS"
Peter: I'm officially taken
Steve: That's great Peter!
Peter: As a fucking joke...
Steve:
Steve: Do you wanna talk about anything?
Thor: (glad Loki finally has a friend) I see you and the spiderchild are getting close.
Loki: He's like the brother i always wanted but never had until now!Thor:
Thor:..............
Shuri showing Peter Bucky's goats*
Peter: Look at all those chickens
Steve: Rules are made to be broken!
Sam: No they were meant to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken
Clint: Piñatas
Natasha: Glow sticks
Bucky: BONES!
Steve: Bucky no-
Peter: Say I love chicken strips. Harley: Fuck your chicken strips
Harley: *Screaming from the top of Tony's penthouse*
Harley: FUCK YOUR CHICKEN STRIPS
Wade: In the third grade they treated me like a criminal-
Wade with gun: Because I killed somebody.
Tony: Two shots of vodka *pours the whole bottle in glass*
Tony: *Stumbles down the stairs drunk*
Bucky: If you disrespect me even again. I will eat your shower curtain.
Sam: I have glass doors.
Bucky: Well crunchity munchity then. Do you think that will stop me?
Peter buried in sand: I'm the sand guardian. Guardian of the sand
Shuri: Poseidon quivers before him
Peter: Fuck Off!*
Bucky: *screaming*
T'Challa: Why are you running. WHY ARE YOU RUNNING!
Peter with hairbrush: YO TELL ME WHAT YA WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT
Tony walks into the lab with hairbrush: SO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT WHAT YOU REALLY REALLY WANT
Stephen: *Slowly backs away*
*Pietro fires gun*
Wanda:*Falls off the couch* THIS IS WHY MOM DOESN'T FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!
Tony: Wanna hear the best joke ever?
Loki: What is it?
Tony: My Life. Because my life joke.
Loki: Don't say that.
Tony: Wow, that's sweet
Loki: It has to be furry to be joke.
Tony: *talking to the police*
Peter: Dad is that the police. I'm calling the weed.
Peter: *Goes to microwave* Friday: 420 what you spoking Tony: PETER!
Peter: Can I borrow five dollars for food?
Tony: What you think I'm made of money?
Peter: Mr. Stark you make more money then the number of people on this earth.
Tony: You're right here's twenty dollars
What would you do if a child was right in front of you?
*Thanos pushes Gamora*
Tony: Hey Loki, can you move this car? It's really heavy.
Loki: *picks up the car effortlessly*
Loki: Nothing is heavier than the weight of my depression.
Tony: I am now equally impressed and concerned.
Tony: Peter can you pass me a screwdriver.
*Throws printer*
Tony: I said screwdriver not printer.
Peter: I thought you said printer. Tony: Why the fuck would I say printer?
Peter: Mr. Loki, do you wanna hear a fluffy joke?
Loki: I'm more into dark humor.
Peter: *turning off the lights* So my joke is...
Shuri: What are thoooooose!!!T'Challa: They are my crocs
Steve: Sometimes I feel like my only talent is breathing.
Bucky: Steve, you have asthma, moron.
Doctor Strange: Don't fuck with me I have the power of God and anime on my side AHHHHHHHHHHH
Peter: Hey, if you put 'violently' in front of anything to describe your action, it becomes funnier!
Bruce: Violently study
Tony: Violently sleep
Thor: Violently eat
Loki: Violently murder people
Steve: Violently worry about the previous comment.