Timeless

Lena loved Kara.

That’s pretty much all she was sure of when it came to their situation.

She knew that Kara would always be there for her, always support her, always protect her… But she no longer knew if Kara trusted her; and although she understood why, it stung.

Lex was arrested, Leviathan defeated, and Andrea long gone… All of Lena’s problems gone in a flash once she and Kara teamed up and took them all out together. It was invigorating… But now that it was all over, Lena didn’t feel happy like she thought she ought to. Instead… She felt hollow.

She no longer had her brother to distract her from the Kara-sized hole in her heart, and now she felt that void fully and deeply… and it hurt.

All she wanted was a clean slate. A clean slate she wasn’t sure she even deserved.

Andrea left and sold back the company to Cat Grant. Kara was now head editor after winning a second Pulitzer prize, Kelly and Alex were engaged, Nia was going out on dates regularly, and Brainy and William were starting a new bromance.

The Superfriends were all good and well… and they didn’t seem to mind Kara and Lena reconciling, but they were in no rush to do the same with her… It seems that they all believed that trapping Kara in a cage made of kryptonite was a little too far to just up and forgive… But that was alright. Because Kara was the important one.

But Kara… was still not her goofy bubbly usual self, and Lena understood that; God did she ever. What Lena did was far worse than a lie… even multiple lies. But she had no idea how to fix that. She wanted to, more than she ever could. But lying, stealing, shooting, and caging wasn’t even close to a lie… no matter how big it was.

She sighed as she looked out over the city with a glass of bourbon in her hand. “I really fucked it all up.”

Kara landed beside her. “We both did.” She said sadly.

Lena stayed silent, she had seen Kara coming, but she didn’t expect her to stop by. “You lied to protect me. I lied to hurt you. I did everything… to hurt you. And I hate myself for that.”

Kara had unshed tears in her eyes as she turned to face Lena. “In every possible scenario, if I told you any sooner it would have had drastic and tragic endings. I tried, Lena. I tried to fix us… The night I stopped by and told you I’d stop you if you kept working with Lex? I had spent all day with Mr. Mxyzptlk… Nothing I could do would have had a better outcome than the one we have right here. I wish I could fix it, I do… But I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Lena swallowed down her bile… the knowledge that she was the cause of Kara’s tears made her nauseous. “You’d manipulate time for me?”

Kara smiled sadly. “To get back to the way things used to be?” She asked, to which Lena answered with a very slight (and nervous) nod. “Absolutely. But I can’t, Lena.”

“I’m so sorry I ever wanted to hurt you. I’m sorry that I did hurt you.” Lena’s heart warmed as she realized just how much Kara cared for her. It meant everything to her that Kara still wanted Lena in her life in some way.

Kara bit down on her lip and smiled. “I don’t know what to do or where to go, from here.”

Lena shrugged. “At this point I’m the one that has to follow the lead in the reconciliation department because I’m lost too. I just want you.” Lena’s eyes bugged as she realized what she had admitted, so she added. “BACK. I want you back!”

Kara smiled and nodded sadly. “Once again, I am sorry that I hurt you, Lena. That was never what I wanted out of this. None of what’s happened is what I wanted.”

Lena nodded. “I know. Believe me, I know.”

“We’ll get through this awkward phase eventually.” Kara said with a terse smile.

Lena nodded, her heart filled with regret and hope. “I really hope you’re right.”

Kara made ready to leave and smiled at Lena one last time, this one seeming more genuine. “I think I am.” She said with a smile before jetting off into the night sky.

Lena smiled as she watched her fly off into the sunset. God, do I love her. She thought.

XXX

“I don’t know Alex. I feel like she’s still angry with me. And I can’t keep feeling guilty… For being so angry at what she’s done. Everything I do I either feel guilty or angry.”

Alex gave her a sympathetic look. “You’re not angry, Kara. If you were angry you wouldn’t have stopped by her balcony to comfort her. You’re hurt.” She took a sip of her coffee. “And you have every right to be. I’m still pissed as hell at her. I can only imagine what you’re feeling. But the question lies… are you able to move on from that, or will it only torture you both to stay in her life?”

Kara’s heart ached at the idea of abandoning Lena forever… Lena had no one but Sam besides Kara and the Superfriends, and Kara missed their friendship greatly... But she also didn’t know if the hurt in her heart would ever heal. “I don’t want to abandon her.”

Alex said. “Well that’s a start. We know that you still care about her a great deal. Just go from there.”

Kara nodded as she fell deep into thought. She just hoped that no matter what the future held, she and Lena could mend the gargantuan wound between them, and someday regain their friendship… because yes, she was hurt by Lena, but she was also hurt because she couldn’t turn to Lena to talk to… about anything. Because they were so damaged. She hated how their friendship sat, and she hoped some day soon, they would get back to that.

As Kara fell asleep that night, her mind raced with all the possible scenarios that could happen in the near future with Lena…

She realized that she didn’t quite trust Lena completely anymore, and she imagined, that Lena felt the same way about her. She wanted to fix it, to make this all go away so that they could start anew, but she couldn’t, and coming to that conclusion put a pit in her stomach…

She didn’t sleep well.

XXX

On the other side of town, Lena was still searching the clouds, hoping Kara would come back so she could ask how long she thought it would take to get back to where they were before all of this happened, but then she realized… it would probably never be the way it was before…

Because before; their relationship was based on a lie, and now? Now she knew that Kara was two people… Well; that Kara had a dual identity.

Lena had no idea what to think anymore; besides the fact that she wanted Kara in her life again; she didn’t care how, she wanted to be the one Kara came home to every night… as always. But really, she  just wanted them to be okay again… With no lies between them.

She got ready for bed, and laid down as her mind too, swirled with a trillion possibilities.

She just wanted to go back in time and reverse the way she reacted…

She bolted up in her bed. “HOLY SHIT THAT’S IT!”

She jumped out of bed and put on clothes.

Kara couldn’t go back in time in fix things on her end; but that didn’t mean Lena couldn’t do it on her end.

XXX

The next morning, Kara woke up. She got around, went to Noonan’s, and decided to stop by Lena’s office to give her a latte. “Good morning, sunshine!” She said as she opened the door to an… empty office.

Kara stopped in her tracks and furrowed her brow. “Lena?”

“Miss Danvers?” Lena’s assistant called from behind.

Kara twirled around. “Where’s Lena? Is she in the labs?”

Jess shook her head. “No… U-uhm… Miss Luthor is missing.”

Kara dropped both lattes and clenched her chest… “WHAT!?”