i literally just want to be fucked so hard someone will rearrange my organs
Sadly, what he had stood on was a bottle of shampoo and the thing that had fallen on his shoulder was the bath mat but he did however throw up.
Throwing up wasn’t good.
Why was he throwing up?
His stomach could digest almost all types of foods!
He hadn’t eaten anything weird.
Fuck.
Oikawa stumbled out of the shower area and to his locker, swinging it open and getting changed messily into his clothes. He didn’t notice the scales that were covering his shoulder blades, barely there. He sat down and grabbed his phone, surprised to see people texting on a dead group chat.
DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES
Minecraftfox: so hi
Minecraftfox: I
Minecraftfox: I need yer help
Litten: huh?
Litten: Kita actually asking for help instead of being a shimmering being we all pray too?
Litten: What is this blasphemy?
HoeHoe: OyaOya?
HoeHoe: Kita
HoeHoe: Kita isnt god?
You’remydad: why didn’t you just text boogiwoogiewoogie instead of this dead arse chat?
Minecraftfox: I’m sorry
OiOikawa: sksksks he obviously needs our help DON’T be bitches about it you fuck nugget looking roaches
Snek: yall fake whatsup Kita?
Coochie: what’s wrong with y’all’s I swear
T-Tsukawauwu: ugh Cmon guys
OiOikawa: guys I’m listening to symphonicsuite (Aot), part 1-1st: 0Sk
Litten: Stop listening to attack on Titan season 3 soundtrack you plastic bitch
OiOikawa: die
Litten: no u
Minecraftfox: anyways
Minecraftfox: Atsumu asked me why I didn’t just go home
Minecraftfox: because I’ve been staying with him for the past couple of days
Minecraftfox: and I said I was going to and if he wanted me to leave he could just ask because I don’t want to be a bother
Minecraftfox: and I’ve been crying in the spare room for the past two hours hahahaha
OiOikawa: holy shit
OiOikawa: are you alright?
Minecraftfox: I don’t even know anymore lol
Minecraftfox: I’m pretty sure I’m just destined to end up being a burden for my whole life!
OiOikawa: you’re not a burden Kita…
You’remydad: you’re the least burdening person I’ve ever met
Litten: yh
HoeHoe: you always clean up and are kind and caring and supper smart so you’re not a burden
HoeHoe: so what if you come with some baggage?
HoeHoe: who doesn’t
HoeHoe: and if Atsumu can’t appreciate that then he ain’t worth your time
Litten: exactly!
Snek: did I just watch Bokuto say something really caring?
[Minecraftfox sent a voice message]
“I- thank you guys. Oh gosh ya guys shouldn’t have ta hear me cry I’m so sorry it’s just tha’ I was too worn out ta type. I’m scared ta say anything ta him because when I did with my ex he would just laugh at me an’ tell me ta get over it an’ while I know Atsumu isn’t like tha’ I still worry ya know? Atsumu is always nice ta me and apologises when he shouts an’ anything similar but fer some stupid reason tha’ fear is still there and I don’t wanna tell him how I feel only fer him ta shout at me an’ kick me out ya know?”
Kita bumbled on, it was obvious he was crying due to the sniffling and the ruffling sounds of fabric as Kita lifted his arms and wiped at supposedly his eyes.
Litten: don’t worry Kita I’m sure he won’t shout at you
Litten: Atsumu’s dumb but luckily not that dumb
Litten: and if he is then as your captain friendship cult members we shall stab him
HoeHoe: yh!
Minecraftfox: haha thank you guys :)
Minecraftfox: I’ll take a moment to freshen up then I’ll go talk to him
OiOikawa: good luck
You’remydad: break a leg
UshiUshi: congratulations
BoogieWoogieWoogie
NOya: I’m booooooooored ;~;
OiOikawa: then let’s do something cause I’m bored as well
Fuckoff: what should we do then
WhoWho: kenma?
Fuckoff: what
WhoWho: you’re here?
Fuckoff: I don’t wanna go to class so yh
ReDDeEr: mood
Fuckoff added Lesha to BoogieWoogieWoogie
Lesha: hello everyone :)
Fuckoff: sorry he was bugging me to add him
OiOikawa: who?
Fuckoff: Lev
Fuckoff: the annoying whiny tall mutant bitch from my team
Fuckoff: the rly dumb one
Lesha: how about you shut the fuck up before I rip your eyeballs out and shove them down your throat so you can watch as I tear your fucking carcass open and then coat you in honey and leave your barely alive corpse out, chained to a branch by your wrists so your shoulders dislocate so a bear fucking comes and eats you hmmm? :)
OiOikawa: fuck okay that was hot
Fuckoff: Lev
Fuckoff: I-
Lesha: you’re what? Sorry? Don’t force yourself too hard honey or you’ll bite your tongue off
ReDDeEr: *nuzzles your bulgie wulgie XD* Rawr ;)
Lesha: are you alright sir?
ReDDeEr: I’m a little messed up
Lesha: oh
Lesha: aight
SangWoah: totally random question but what’s the biggest bomb we as humans could make
Litten: the Tsar Bomba
Litten: also known as the King of bombs, byname if RDS-220 and also called Big Ivan, Soviet thermonuclear bomb and it was detonated over Novaya Zemlya which is an island in the Artic ocean. It was tested on October 30th 1961 and it is the largest nuclear weapon ever set off and it has produced the most powerful human made explosion ever recorded
OiOikawa: however in theory the largest and most deadliest bomb we could create is a black hole bomb actually so fuck you Kuroo
Litten: yeah well he didn’t say in theory now did he
Lesha: I wanna know about the black whole bomb!
OiOikawa: okay so
OiOikawa: your gonna need some context
OiOikawa: pretty much black holes devour everything and add our energy to their own, they will never give back this energy however there is a cheat code in the universe which we can use
OiOikawa: we can use this code as a way of powering civilisations until the death of everything and creating the biggest bomb in the whole fucking universe
OiOikawa: you see black holes are spinning, when really massive stars die their cores collapse under their own gravity into black holes this means something very big becomes very small, literally the smallest anything can be in this universe
OiOikawa: but these stars were rotating and a fundamental property of our universe is that things that are spinning obviously don’t want to stop spinning, this is called angular momentum
OiOikawa: radius = R, mass = M, speed = V % linear momentum x perpendicular = L
OiOikawa: this angular momentum can’t go away. A big thing that spins and becomes smaller, spins faster so as the core of a star collapses, it momentum makes it spin faster and faster and faster until it collapses into a black hole
OiOikawa: and the black hole, because the star’s core’s velocity has increased to such high extents that the black hole keeps on spinning inconceivably fast
OiOikawa: but just like non spinning black holes, black holes have an event horizon and a singularity at their core where all the mass is concentrated, the singularity is usually described as a single infinitely small point with no surface area but points can’t rotate so a rotating singularity can’t be a point
OiOikawa: instead in a spinning black hole it’s a RINGularity, a ringularity is a ring with a thickness of zero and no surface, spinning extremely fast, containing all the mass of the black hole, the black hole is spinning so fast that it morphs space and time itself, it quite literally drags space with it
OiOikawa: this creates a really weird and new region of space time called the ergosphere, which envelops the black hole. Think of it like, if time and space are completely broken inside the event horizon, then they’re only half broken inside the ergosphere, in the ergosphere nothing makes sense
OiOikawa: while it is possibly to enter and leave it, it’s probably not all that great of an experience, imagine it like falling into a static black whole is like swimming and suddenly sliding down a hole while being inside the ergosphere of a spinning black hole is like spiralling down a deadly drain or world pool
OiOikawa: the black girl transfers its own kinetic energy in the form of rotation to everything that enters the ergosphere. You would need to be moving faster than the speed of light just to stand still and of course that’s impossible
OiOikawa: okay so now the cheat code
SangWoah: holy shit I wanted a message like Kuroo’s now a whole essay
Lesha: shut it this is interesting
OiOikawa: :)
OiOikawa: so ya know the supermassive black hole at the centre of the universe? We could steal as much energy from it as every single star in the Milky Way emits in a billion years combined isn’t that fucking amazing?
OiOikawa: if we launched a rocket into the ergosphere, we could make a trade with it. This is called the Penrose Process. We give it some mass energy and it gives us some of its rotational energy. Normally when you fire a rocket you exchange chemical energy for kinetic energy, this is like pushing yourself in a pool but if you fire a rocket into the ergosphere it would be like pushing yourself forward in a wave pool. The rotational energy of the waves give you as much stronger boost than you could get just by pushing yourself
OiOikawa: when you leave the ergosphere you leave it with much more energy than when you entered, the black hole gives you a tiny bit of its rotational energy to you and slows down a bit
OiOikawa: now down to the bomb
OiOikawa: there is an even better way to get energy from a black hole and oddly enough it builds the biggest bomb any living thing could ever hope to build
OiOikawa: we would only need two things to build a black hole bomb, a fast spinning black whole and a mirror. This is similar to a Dyson sphere which is a mega structure that harvests the energy of an entire star. If we made the mirror 10 centimetres thick, the metal of a big asteroid would probably be enough material for a black hole with the mass of our sun. Once the mirror is in place all we would have to do is shoot electromagnetic waves at the black hole, this would be like throwing a ball at a wall and it coming back faster than a bullet
OiOikawa: the waves hit the black hole at speed, a small proportion of the waves falls past the event horizon to disappear forever but a much larger amount sloshes through the ergosphere, where the black hole forces some of its rotational energy on the electromagnetic waves and amplifies them. They bow begin superradiant scattering, which are fancy science words meaning “bouncing around between mirror and black hole and getting stronger.”
OiOikawa: every time they go around, they are getting exponentially stronger and my opening the windows in the mirror we can extract the energy from the waves as fast as they grow and we could use this to power civilisation for thousands of years or we could blow it up because if these waves aren’t released they take more and more energy from the black hole until the mirror shatters, a supermassive black hole would release as much energy as a supernova making the explosion the biggest and deadliest one a living being could ever make
Lesha: what’s an electromagnetic wave?
Lesha: I think I might know what it is but I’m not sure
OiOikawa: err I think it’s электромагнитные волны in Russian, sorry if it’s not correct it’s google translate lol
Lesha: no no I know what those are thank you! I didn’t realise that was the Japanese spelling thank you!
Litten: woah what you’re smart? You know what electromagnetic waves are?
Lesha: yh but I have to translate most things in my head and it’s really annoying
OiOikawa: mega oof
OiOikawa: I kinda get what you mean? When I was younger I spoke another language although it was very outdated at the time so I suppose it isn’t as bad as your situation
OiOikawa: I’m sorry that made me sound like a dick
Lesha: no no I get what you’re trying to say
Lesha: what language did you speak?
OiOikawa: well there were two actually, ancient Persian and a language my parents created called Geseryian
Lesha: holy shit that’s smart people
OiOikawa: yeah except my Japanese and English was so bad I couldn’t properly speak it for a long time, I was in the same year as Iwa-chan but still had to go to tutors for desdelementary school level Japanese and English
Lesha: oof
OiOikawa: I mean technically they weren’t even my parents, just foster family but I stayed with them for about 3 years, by the time I left I was so used to speaking these languages they were all I spoke in
Lesha: yeah same, apparently my biological father was Japanese but I don’t know, the orphanage say I could speak both nursery level Russian and Japanese but I couldn’t write Hiragana nor Kanji and I forgot all of it. By the time I was adopted by a Japanese person and I came here I completely forgot all of it so I’ve had to re-learn but that was about a year or so ago so I’m still struggling in Japanese lol
OiOikawa: but you speak it so well?
Lesha: ✨google translate✨ my dear friend
OiOikawa: ohhh ok that makes sense
HoeHoe: yall were adopted as well???
OiOikawa: yes~
Lesha: да
HoeHoe: I’m gonna assume that means yes!
Lesha: it does lol
Lesha: idk y but I still type да and нет
HoeHoe: what does the second word mean?
Lesha: no
HoeHoe: ;~; sorry for asking
Lesha: what? Нет means “no” you dumbarse
HoeHoe: ohhh lol sorry
Lesha: it’s fine
Oikawa’s head snapped up when he felt someone sit next to him on the bench where had placed himself. He turned to look at the person who sat next to him, a pale boy with blue hair, hair so blue it was the shade of admiral blue but the roots were a dark Prussian blue and the tips were a lighter cobalt blue, Oikawa genuinely wasn’t sure if the kid’s hair was naturally like that. The boy wasn’t wearing a school uniform either, or maybe he was underneath the black hoodie that looked so well worn it almost looked like it had been made to look like that.
“I have a question for you.”
The boy mumbled, playing with his fingers that weren’t really fingers were they? The boy after all wasn’t really a boy was he? Not that Oikawa cared, he was an animal after all, he need not worry himself with the fleeting thoughts of humans.
“I have a question for you as well.”
Oikawa knew he should probably ask the being how they got into the changing room but he wasn’t human so it didn’t matter, the being wasn’t human so it didn’t matter.
“You ask first.”
Zhey whispered almost like a prayer and Oikawa grinned, wide and manically as if he had been told a juicy secret.
“Sure, what are you? What’s your name?”
He licked his lips, staring at the being before him as if zhey were prey.
“I am...my name is Arariel and what I am is something you would not understand.”
Zhey looked at him, thick blue hair covered zheir eyes and Oikawa frowned as if finding out his favourite bakery didn’t have the milk bread he wanted.
“I asked you a question though, shouldn’t you answer it properly and not shrug it off without trying?”
Perhaps his question had come across rude but what did he care? Why should he care? He was not human therefore he need not worry himself over such trivial matters akin to insulting someone.
“I suppose you’re right.”
The being next to him then stood up, Oikawa lazily followed him with his eyes. He blinked, if anyone looked at him they would run away or probably shout in fear, he had shut his third eyelid, now his eyes just looked a milky white with hints of red and pink where his veins stretched out like lichtenberg figures. For whatever reason he felt the sudden primal instinct to shut his third eyelid which acted in a way goggles or sunglasses did he supposed.
He was hit with a tidal wave of noise, it sounded like he was surrounded by rabbits. The air shifted. His own heartbeat stuttered. The air around him felt cleaner, lighter, like he was floating at point Nemo or something. His ears were then filled with the sound of feathers, the sound was akin to thick silk moving around but much more natural. It was the most natural sound he had ever heard. All that he could think of was just white, like laying on your back and looking up at the clouds that stood grand and tall with beams of light like spears, choruses of “Hosanna” and “Osanna” that you could faintly hear in the wind.
And as soon as that beautiful tranquility came it was torn away. His skin burnt and blistered, those very once stunning spears or light felt like they were slicing at any bit of flesh they could find. The air went from smelling clean and pure to smelling like ozone, fuck, it felt like ozone as well. His lungs felt like they were being shredded and his throat burnt as if he had swallowed burning feathers. The white light that had been soft and inviting merely seconds ago suddenly felt more like walking into a pit of vipers, it was too much, he had to close his first and second eyelids as well then raise his hands to shield his eyes from that blinding, burning, merciless light.
As he raised his hands his arm touches something soft, so soft he might as well have been brushing his skin against a hamster pup, his instincts screamed louder than the screeching of whatever the fuck was standing infront of him. He barely had enough time to force his scales through his skin, creating a thick protective barrier against the sudden slicing sharpness of the object he had touched.
A sound like an orchestra full of string players suddenly having the hair on their bows break and then everything stopped. By everything he meant everything, he felt like the whole entire world had stopped, every creature had stopped.
And like a computer restarting everything went back to normal and for some reason Oikawa felt like wailing.
DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES
OiOikawa: Who needs people like cardi B when you could have Crywank
OiOikawa: Evidence to support my claim:
OiOikawa:
HoeHoe: oh i though u meant an actual crywank
OiOikawa: 
HoeHoe: and i was like uhh sure but i dont get the relation of cardi and crywanks accept waps
OiOikawa: lol
HoeHoe: mark smith😍
OiOikawa: Deep down we are all spiritually mark smith
HoeHoe: we are
HoeHoe: get ur dt heads on😋
OiOikawa:
OiOikawa: 
OiOikawa: exactly
OiOikawa: Every song in this album makes me feel the same way that one tumblr post about the mushroom does
OiOikawa:
OiOikawa: this
OiOikawa: Also makes me feel the same way that one song by Hosier along the lines of In The Woods Somewhere
OiOikawa: Also Everywhere At The End Of Time
OiOikawa: all same energy
OiOikawa: Like empty motorways
OiOikawa: parallel universe kinda feels
OiOikawa: Cryptic kinda feels where everything is okay, not normal because the shadows look fuzzier than normal and your doctor wont stop smiling and you cant remember why you were at the doctors in the first place, actually you cant remember how you got here in the first place but the local pizza place is great and even if you aren’t aloud to look at the blinking light sin the night sky its okay because your’re 98% sure you’re safe
OiOikawa: Except the creatures in the corner of your eyes are staying there longer, slowly getting closer and for some reason everything feels slightly out of place like someone broke into your house and moved all your furniture two centimetres to the left and you’re not used to it, you keep stubbing your toes and banging your hips against your furniture but nothings looks out of place and its all your furniture and you know its your furniture but that doesn’t explain why you hear the walls creaking as if they are crying and your toaster always burns your toast even if you haven’t turned it on but that’s normal right?....right?
OiOikawa: So I’ve either weirded you out enough to not reply or yall gong through some mental sort of crisis cause I ain’t typing while reading sideways for fun Süd-
OiOikawa: Do I need to find you in your sleep then put your bodies somewhere surrounded by mushrooms?
Minecraftfox: Nah
Minecraftfox: I was just having a bit of a breakdown
Minecraftfox: feel better now the
Minecraftfox:
Minecraftfox: Drew you this seggsy mushroom
Minecraftfox: Could a depressed person do this?
Minecraftfox: *if you get this reference I will do something good for you
OiOikawa: Of course i get the reference
OiOikawa: And no a depressed person couldn’t do that so evidence shows that if you are depressed you are exceeding the bounds of human limits
OiOikawa: Therefore implying you must be a six winged, seven hearts holy being surrounded by eyes and obviously on fire, towering over the mortals of this realm
OiOikawa: Which means every time you enter a room/talk to someone you obviously have to state “be not afraid!”
OiOikawa:
OiOikawa: ....so like...I...well I mean im interested in them but then again why is instagram tryna tell me about London and death, seems sus, obviously nothing to do with me searching up Unlonden
Litten: i always pull up w some barbie dollz thick in the thighs i said we looking for some brain where the wizard of oz last * was a dope dealer hell of a guy he said the pussy top 5 dead or alive
Minecraftfox: Bro guess what ad got target to me?
Minecraftfox: 
BoogieWoogieWoogie
Minecraftfox: Why the fuck am I getting a request for an anti-porn blog?
Liiten: no way
Minecraftfox: Yep got that about 2 days ago
Minecraftfox: i mean me of all people really?
Minecraftfox: im literally so horny its not even funny
Minecraftfox: I literally just want someone to slam me against a dumpster and fuck me raw
Minecraftfox: is that so hard to ask for?
Minecraftfox: and cause i can’t get a good old dicking with a dick big enough to leave a stomach bulge
Minecraftfox: im left with porn
OiOikawa: UHGUWHEDHBWEDBCU
OiOikawa: KITA NOOOOO OMFG
OiOikawa: WRONG FUCKIN GROUP CHAT
Sangwoah: i-
[Minecraftfox has gone offline]
Babayaga: nOOO 😭😭😂
Salmon: OMFG NO NOT KITA-
You’remydad: look how silly this is
Salmon: oh
Babayaga: oh-
Salmon: oh-
Babayaga: oh-
[Minecraftfox is online]
Salmon: OHHHHH
Babayaga: OHHHHH
[Minecraftfox is offline]
Litten: MRAWAHAHAHAH
Salmon: Kita dont leave!
Babayaga: Kita dont-
[Minecraftfox is online]
Salmon: KITAAAAAAA
Babayaga: WE LOVE YOUUUUU
Minecraftfox: no im fuckin done
Minecraftfox: im FUCKIN DONE
Salmon: no you’re not 😭😂😂
Minecraftfox: THIS IS BULLSHIT
HoeHoe: im gonna-
Minecraftfox: THIS IS F U C K I N B U L L S H I T
Litten: BHWHAHWHAHAHAHA
Babayaga : “Minecraftfox: im literally so horny its not even funny
Minecraftfox: I literally just want someone to slam me against a dumpster and fuck me raw
Minecraftfox: is that so hard to ask for?
Minecraftfox: and cause i can’t get a good old dicking with a dick big enough to leave a stomach bulge” I CANT I CANT OMFG HAHAHHAHW
Minecraftfox: W H A T I S T H I S
Salmon: HGHDGHHWGHEDIWE
Minecraftfox: W H A T I S M Y L I F E???????
Litten: I CANT DO IT BRO
HoeHoe: I CANT EITHER
DEAD DADDIES ARE STILL DADDIES
OiOikawa: I’m so glad im finally getting the chaotic group chat i wanted
OiOikawa: actually no I needed it
Minecraftfox: you’re welcome kiddo
OiOikawa: Thwank youwu dwaddy 👉🏻👈🏻🥺🥺😩😩
Minecraftfox: Never fucking call me that ever again
OiOikawa: :)
Minecraftfox: For u I’m a whore and a babs
Minecraftfox: For other boys I’m either bitch or daddy
Litten: sadly I’m a whore and bitch for everyone
Litten: but hey I get to ruin people’s lives 🤠
OiOikawa: Why not dwaddy dwont youwu appweciate howo fwucking hawd it is uwu to type appweciate when youwu dwont even know howo two spwell appweciate in the fwist pwace Uwe 👉🏻👈🏻🥺🥺
OiOikawa: Aggressive bottom furry text is my new mood
Minecraftfox: You continue like this and I will manifest that you will lose ur iPad pen and Obon will shit either in ur room or in hand hand
Minecraftfox: I wont hesitate bitch
Litten: honestly bottom furry texts are funnier than most of the comedians out there
Minecraftfox: also true
OiOikawa: Wait Kita u sayin if i call you that again you’ll come see me?
Minecraftfox: no
Minecraftfox: no ill manifest it will happen
Minecraftfox: And also steel ur kneecaps
Minecraftfox: also we’re seeing each other tonight so like??
OiOikawa: You can have my right kneecap for free cause something keeps on popping out of place and its scabby and bruised and hurts like a bitch after I’ve been sitting in a cold room
OiOikawa: You honestly wouldn’t get much use out of it
Litten: Oi if you have extra knee caps I want some
Litten: i can use them
Litten: Night replace my fucked one
Litten: *might
OiOikawa: Well you cant take me left one
OiOikawa: It’s the only things that does hurt on my left side
OiOikawa: you can however have my ankles
Minecraftfox: Bitch imma steal ur ankles too
Minecraftfox: so you cant play volleyball
Minecraftfox: so yeah
Minecraftfox: dont tempt me
Minecraftfox: When I would be breaking in to steal them I will give u a kiss on the forehead the
OiOikawa: must be a real threat to you and Inarizaki then huh?
Minecraftfox: of course you are an incredible setter
OiOikawa: Jokes on you my team doesn’t believe we will make it to nationals so me playing against Inarizaki will mostly likely never happen so suck on that slut
Minecraftfox: eh ill steal em anyway