I shoved a whole entire bag of jellybeans up my arse
You’remydad added Theoriginal, UshiUshi, Minecraftfox +4 to and Coach
You’remydad: everyone this is Karasuno’s coach, Ukai
TuTushima: holy shit that’s my uncle
TheOriginal: language brat
OiOikawa added plskillme to and Coach
Plskillme:...why?
OiOikawa: thot
Plskillme: thot
OiOikawa: everyone this is Aoba Johsai’s coach
Plskillme: my name is Sadayuki
Litten: since we’re adding our young coaches
Litten added Who? to and Coach
What?: what do you want Kuroo
Litten: ew you injure my emotions in such a way
Who?: hello everyone, my name is Manabu and I’m one of Nekoma’s coaches.
OiOikawa: woah
OiOikawa: Grammar
Plskillme: shush you thot, adults are talking
UshiUshi added Tanji Washijō to and Coach
Tanji Washijō: hello Ushijima
UshiUshi: coach
OiOikawa: oh god
UshiUshi: everybody this is Shiratorizawa’s coach, Tanji Washijō
HoeHoe: guys
HowHoe: Nekoma’s other coach, the Nekomata guy looks like the fat cat from the cat film interview
Litten: what?
HoeHoe: the one where the crocodile got the part
Litten: i-
Litten: Are you on crack bro?
HoeHoe: honestly bro?
HoeHoe: the only thing keeping me going is my love for you bro
Litten: Bro..
HoeHoe: bro I got you some broses
Litten: Bro i got you some dafodudes
HoeHoe: bro!
Litten: Bro!
Who?: oh god, they share one brain cell.
TuTushima: True
HoeHoe added HootHoot to and Coach
HootHoot: hello I am Takeyuki Yamiji, Fukurodani’s coach
Litten: is this grunkle stan?
Minecraftfox: yes
Minecraftfox added Ooohmi to and Coach
Ooohmi: Kita?
Minecraftfox: I’m going to be pampered
Minecraftfox: I wish to bring Atsumu
Ooohmi: my name is Oomi Tarou, I am the coach of Inarizaki
OiOikawa: shit both Nekoma and Inarizaki are kinda hot
Plskillme: Jesus fuck Oikawa
Plskillme: can’t you be normal for once???
OiOikawa: you obviously don’t know who I am
OiOikawa: at least I haven’t had sex with one of them
Litten: shut your mouth you insolent whore
TuTushima: exposed-
Who?: I...Kuroo why?
You’remydad: who?
TheOriginal: aight I’m out
Litten: it was legal..
Who?: oh thank god
HootHoot: I’m so glad our team is somewhat normal
Ooohmi: I have to agree with you there
Tanji Washijō: I am somewhat worried
OiOikawa: hey Ukai-san where you going hm?
You’remydad: Jesus Christ
TheOriginal:....I wasn’t aware-
Litten: it was only one time-
UshiUshi: oh to be Jared, 19
HoeHoe: ^
Minecraftfox: ^
Snek: ^
OiOikawa: tea sis
Litten: shut it
OiOikawa: who topped??
Litten:...me
OiOikawa: AHAHAHAHAHA
HoeHoe: GET REKT KARASUNO
You’remydad: Ukai-san im severely disappointed
TheOriginal: I’m...oh god I can never look at anyone again
Who?: how many times?
Litten: 1
Who?: that’s the fattest, juciest lie I’ve ever heard
Who?: tell me the truth or you’re not going out with your friends
Litten:...3
OiOikawa: holy shit
HoeHoe: wtf
Plskillme: when?
Litten: first time was when I was out clubbing
Litten: second time was a hook up when I was horny
Litten: third was after the practice match
OiOikawa: oml
OiOikawa: whore
Litten: shut it
Litten: you’ve gotten mowed by Atsumu, me and your bodyguard
OiOikawa: sksksks
OiOikawa: at least I didn’t fuck Karasuno’s Captain
Litten: ahoxhaikxja
“Tooru”
The floor seemed to shake. Or perhaps it was just him.
The teenager turned around slowly, fear flooding his veins and suddenly he was that boy on the beach again. Confused. Scared. Lost. Lonely.
Suddenly he was the boy in the orphanage with people shouting in w language he could barely understand. The boy who was scared of nuns with their crosses and white robes which disguised the monsters beneath with their large, painful hands.
Suddenly he was the boy who was taken to a big house with a man and a woman. The woman treated him kind enough. The man was distant and spat words of poison.
His mother stared at him, a stern look twisted into his face.
“96/100...what went wrong hmm?”
She tilted her head, black hair falling gentle across her sickly pale skin.
“I-I”
Tooru started but he couldn’t speak, the truth was that he didn’t recognise some of the words, even though he was smart he didn’t understand why learning was important for him, he was effectively an immortal god.
“Stand up.”
She commanded, voice like ice. Tooru stood up, placing his phone down on his desk. She grabbed the phone and picked it up.
Coaches
OiOikawa: hello, this is Tooru’s mother
OiOikawa: as he has failed his recent test he shall not have his phone till Monday, nor shall he be attending club activities or school until these grades improve
Plskillme: hello Mrs. Oikawa, my name is Sadayuki Mizoguchi
Plskillme: I am one of Aoba Johsai’s coaches for the volleyball team
Plskillme: I was informed that Oikawa got 96 on his test, that is not a fail, that is a pass ma’am
OiOikawa: well it’s just not good enough
OiOikawa: how can I listen to someone so unprofessional
OiOikawa: your username is “plskillme”
OiOikawa: I shall be reporting this to the headmaster
Plskillme changed their name to AJCoach
AJCoach: I’m sorry ma’am but I do not appreciate your blatant lies and disrespect
AJCoach: now, why don’t you tell me the real reason why Oikawa won’t be attending clubs and school because it obviously isn’t studying
OiOikawa: what do you know?
OiOikawa: you’re a Highschool sports coach
AJCoach: a Highschool sports coach with a masters degree in psychology and previous practitioning in child psychology
OiOikawa: fine, he shall be at school tomorrow but I will be reporting this situation to the headmaster
AJCoach: okay
Tooru wasn’t sure what had happened but she was fuming. She grabbed him and pulled him through the house, Tooru followed silently, he knew better than to get into an argument with her.
She stormed through the garden and opened the outhouse door, she threw him in and he stumbled a bit, almost falling to the floor. She undid her belt and slipped it from her skirt.
“Kneel with your back facing me, take off your shirt.”
Her commandments were law, he followed every one of them even if he didn’t want to. He felt the fear rule over him despite him being a Proterozoic age old creature.
The first connection of leather against his skin always shocked him, it was stupid, he knew that but no matter what he could never quite seem to prepare himself for it.
The second one seemed to hurt more, it usually hit the same spot as the first lash.
“Count out loud.”
And even if he struggled to breathe normally he knew defying her would make it worse, he knew crying would make it worse, he knew doing anything but taking a deep breath and counting out the numbers would make it worse.
“Three”
“Four”
“Five”
“Six”
“Seven”
“Eight”
“Nine”
“Ten”
He could feel his blood drip down his back, he knew it would be that odd lime green colour that most lizards had, she dropped what he assumed was his phone onto his back then slammed the wooden door shut, he could hear the click of the padlock being shut leaving him in the shed overnight.
He reached out in the dark underneath the large shelf, he gripped the handle of the first aid kit he kept under there, he restocked it every Saturday night so that I would be full for whenever he needed first aid which he couldn’t get in his house, abusive parents was he right? He popped it open and used the flashlight on his phone to find the surgical spirit. He opened the bottle and poured the liquid over his back, biting back a yelp of pain but he had to disinfect it.
He put the bottle down and clenched his teeth, tears involuntarily dripped down his face. Next he picked up some dressings, he said some but it was more like a fucking pillow sized amount of dressing, enough to cover his back. He slapped on the dressing gently, they wrapped it up in bandages before slipping his shirt over everything because it was cold. He looked down at the box and rummaged around.
“Fuck, I forgot the savlon! Oh whatever, the surgical spirit will last for now.”
He laid down on his front, he wasn’t going to touch his back for awhile, sure he healed faster than humans but like, he still got injured due to this human flesh.
BoogieWoogieWoogie
OiOikawa: technically godzilla should have lime green blood since his mouth and dorsal fins appear blueish green
OiOikawa: he would have a high level of Biliverdin in his blood causing the pigments and the green blood
Godzillasimp: wouldn’t he have blue blood though?
OiOikawa: elaborate
Godzillasimp: since he had gills that indicates the amount of time underwater, this means that he spends more time underwater than he does on land
Godzillasimp: the blue would come from a copper rich protein called hemocyanin
Godzillasimp: it carries oxygen from the lungs to the bloodstream and then to the cells in octopi
Godzillasimp: it does better in cold climates with less oxygen pressure, that being the depths of the ocean
Godzillasimp: it also freely floats in the blood unlike hemoglobin which is bound to the red blood cells
Litten: if we’re going down that route then wouldn’t Godzilla either have purple or colourless blood?
Litten: although hemerythrins, purple blood, are usually invertebrates it would make sense to an extent
Litten: he would have three times as much iron, the oxygen binds by Fe-O-Fe
Litten: Hemerythrin is a non‐heme iron protein that serves as an oxygen transfer or storage protein in several marine invertebrate phyla
Litten: each protein subunit binds two iron atoms by histidine, aspartic acid and glutamic acid side-chains
UshiUshi: godzilla? Who is that?
Godzillasimp: I-
OiOikawa: look what you did you made Iwa-chan cry you bitch
UhsiUshi: I’m sorry, I had no idea you were family
Godzillasimp: Ugh I wish
OiOikawa: Godzilla and Birdesus are our lords and saviours
UshiUshi: Birdesus? Godzilla?
TuTushima added ReDEeR to BoogieWoogieWoogie
TuTushima: @ReDEeR come get your mans he can’t tell difference from tip to tail
UshiUshi: Tendou?
ReDEeR: yessss Wakatoshi-kun?
UshiUshi: who is Godzilla, who is Birdesus
ReDEeR: I don’t know about Birdesus but Godzilla is from the Godzilla franchise, it’s a film, he is made up
UshiUshi: ohh makes sense
Oikawa felt his eye twitch, the “Bitch, is you blind?” Meme was going around his head, he wasn’t fucking made up! He was lying down in a shed because he doesn’t want to stand up!..okay yeah that sounded pretty pathetic. He could feel his wounds slowly start to stitch themselves back together, he had learnt that wounds done by humans and creatures weaker than him would heal but any wounds connected to emotional trauma or dealt by someone stronger than him would take awhile to close up.
Tooru sat up slowly, trying to keep his back as straight as possible, he had been told once that what he was doing was something he called ignorance, the psychologist on the other hand told him he was doing this as a form of dealing with trauma and honestly he wasn’t surprised, the effects of this night would probably surface in a couple of days time when someone said something mean and he would break down sobbing.
Private message OiOikawa and Sunata
Sunata: grand king??!!
OiOikawa: chibi
OiOikawa: what’s up??
Sunata: I’m-
Sunata: so you know how I’m dating Kageyama??
OiOikawa: yes?
Sunata: well you see
Sunata: I was crying behind the gym
OiOikawa: why were you crying?
Sunata: I saw a car that looked a lot like my dad’s around town
OiOikawa: oh shit
Tooru has net Hinata way before the practice match, back in the orphanage he met a kid who was briefly brought there, he shared a room with Tooru. Bright red hair, sun kissed skin and amber coloured eyes which should’ve sparkles with childlike innocence but instead they were dull and the bruises that marred the boys skin told the story that never slipped from his lips.
Hinata left about two weeks later after his home had been fully investigated, they found no abuse in the home despite the bruises and the night terrors Hinata would have almost every night. You see, nightmares are bad but night terrors are worse, the monsters in your dreams follow you into real life and Tooru used to spend every night just singing to him, any song he could remember.
Hinata was a nice enough kid, quiet around others but when around Tooru he brightened up like the sun but when he left they didn’t meet each other again, that was until they met each other on the court. Tooru remembered Hinata and Hinata kind of remembered Tooru, they shared numbers and had been in contact ever since.
Sometimes he didn’t think Hinata was human. He didn’t mean it in a bad way but one night Hinata woke up, he wasn’t screaming but he had this sharp look in his eyes but worse of all was the slit pupils, Tooru hadn’t seen any humanoid being with that look. He saw it again when some kid threatened them in the lunch que, he still remembered those worse Hinata had uttered.
“If you’re going to kill us, then do it.”
The look on his face was innocent but the look in his eyes held bloodlust immeasurable, since then Tooru could never be sure if Hinata was just a human.
Sunata: it’s okay though
Sunata: I don’t think it was him
Sunata: mum says he is still in America
OiOikawa: oh thank fuck
Sunata: anyway
Sunata: I was crying and then Saltyshima turned up and I though “oh shit he gonna make fun of me”
Sunata: but like
Sunata: he didn’t??????
OiOikawa: what did he do?
Sunata: he sat down next to me
Sunata: offered me a tissue
Sunata: then patted my head and walked away and I????
Sunata: am I in love??
OiOikawa: fuck maybe babs
Sunata: shit
Sunata: but Kageyama…
OiOikawa: you can have a crush on more than one person at a time ya know
Sunata: yeah…
Sunata: okay well talk to you tmrw
OiOikawa: bye ( -3- )
Sunata: ❤️❤️