Do You Wanna Hang?
Adrien follows Aurore into a bedroom
Aurore: Jake’s parents' room. Don't worry. They're not using it.
Adrien becomes a little flustered
Adrien: You really know your way around.
Aurore: Yeah, I've had sex in pretty much every room in this house.
Adrien: What?!
Aurore: Because I dated Jake! God, what kind of slut do you think I am?
Aurore raises her baby bottle and chugs from it
Adrien: Where's Brooke?
Aurore: Oh my God you are too freaking adorable. Brooke not coming!
Adrien: She's not? Then why…
Aurore begins to stroke Adrien’s chest
Aurore:
DO YOU WANNA HANG?
DO YOU WANNA HANG?
DO YOU WANNA HANG FOR A BIT?
JUST YOU AND ME
INTIMATELY
TALKING ABOUT ALL OF OUR FEELINGS AND SHIT
Aurore then pushes Adrien onto the bed and crawls on top of him
Aurore:
DO YOU WANNA GET
DO YOU WANNA GET
DO YOU WANNA GET REALLY DEEP?
WE COULD CONNECT
IF I GET WRECKED
YOU COULD ROCK THIS BABY FAST ASLEEP
Adrien: I have to go… I can't stand up.
A spotlight shines on Nathaniel and Marc. The two are making out next to the bed. Nathaniel turns to Adrien as Marc kisses his neck
Nathaniel: You're welcome.
Aurore: I don't know why she's so crazy about you. You're not that cute. No offense.
Adrien: None taken. I should get back—
Aurore: You know she's not that innocent. That wounded puppy routine? It's how she gets all the guys. Acts all helpless so they want to protect her. Not that I care.
It dawns on Adrien...
Adrien: You're jealous of Brooke!
Aurore: Um. Obviously I'm not.
Adrien: That's insane! Why would you be jealous of anyone? You're the hottest girl in school!... Did I just say that out—
Suddenly, Aurore kisses him. Adrien tries pulling away
Adrien: Whoa, whoa! Make it stop!
Nathaniel turns away from Adrien to continue his and Marc’s little make out session
Nathaniel: I don't understand the request.
Aurore:
DO YOU WANNA STOP?
DO YOU WANNA STOP?
DO YOU WANNA STOP BEING COY?
DO YOU WANNA GET
DO YOU WANNA GET
DO YOU WANNA GET INSIDE MY DIAPER, BOY?
She hands him the bottle and drunkenly giggles
Aurore: It's not actually milk.
Adrien: Oh...I'm not really a big—
Nathaniel forces Adrien to drink the liquor-filled bottle
Adrien: Drinker!
Marc makes Adrien kiss Aurore. Suddenly, there's a knock on the door
Myléne: Jeremy? Are you in there? Jenna Rolan said she saw you go upstairs. Jeremy?
Finally Myléne goes away. Adrien exhales
Adrien: If Jenna Rolan saw us...
Aurore: Jenna Rolan should mind her own business.
Adrien: Brooke's going to find out. Don't you care?
Aurore: You're less cute when you're talking.
Adrien desperately turns to Nathaniel and Marc
Adrien: Help me out here!
Marc: Konichiwa!
Adrien: What?
Marc: Sorry, Jeremy. Alcohol temporarily scrambles our shisutemu!
Adrien: Then why did you make me drink it?!?
Nathaniel: It was important you take advantage of the jōkyō. You'll thank us atode.
Aurore: Whatever, I've had enough—
A door knocking sound effect is played
Kim: Jeremy Heere?!
Aurore: Ooh, the fun begins.
Adrien: Is that...Jake?
Kim: Jeremy, I know you're not fucking on my parent's bed, because if you were, I'd have to rip your dick off!
Aurore: GREAT, THEN YOU CAN BOTH BE DICK-LESS!
Kim: ...Chloe?
The doorknob rattles as Kim tries to get in. When he can't open the door, he begins throwing himself at it.
Aurore: HEAR THAT? I'M DOIN’ IT WITH JEREMY ALL OVER YOUR PARENTS' LINENS!
Adrien: No we're not, I swear we're not!
It goes silent
Adrien: ...Maybe he believed me and went away.
A fist smashes through the prop window
Marc: Kei-koku, kei-koku
As Kim pulls himself into view, Aurore straddles a now-shirtless Adrien
Kim: You're fucking dead, Heere!
Aurore: Go away, we're busy SCREWING!
Adrien pries himself away from Aurore and runs to the door. He opens it to discover Myléne
Myléne: Jeremy?
Adrien: Brooke!
He stands frozen for a beat. Then Kim makes it through the window.
Kim: Jeremy!
Adrien: I'm sorry!
Adrien pushes Myléne aside, and runs down the hall, as Kim chases after him, but stumbles a bit
Kim: I'll kill you, Jeremy! Ooh man, I shouldn't have drank so much Peach Schnapps.
Adrien runs into a bathroom. Locks the door, takes several deep breaths. Sits down on the edge of the tub. A monster hand reaches up to grab him. Adrien screams. The hand pulls itself up, revealing...)
Nino: Sup.