The Squip(s) Enter
Adrien and Nino stand in front of Juleka, who's ignoring them. Nino pushes Adrien forward
Adrien: ... I like your hair.
Juleka: Let's see the money.
Adrien: What?
Juleka:
IT'S FROM JAPAN
IT'S A RED OBLONG PILL
QUANTUM NANOTECHNOLOGY CPU
THE QUANTUM COMPUTER IN THE PILL
WILL TRAVEL THROUGH YOUR BLOOD UNTIL
IT IMPLANTS IN YOUR BRAIN AND IT TELLS YOU WHAT TO DO
Adrien: ...How did you know why I'm here?
Juleka: Just look at you.
Adrien pulls out the money
Juleka: That's four hundred?
Adrien: Four?
Juleka: Is that a problem?
Adrien: No! Actually, there's a girl at my school charging...
Nino punches his shoulder and clears his throat
Adriem: Uh. Four hundred? Wow. Well, if you insist.
Adrien hands over the money. Juleka presents him with a shoebox
Adrien: Ladies' running shoes?
Juleka opens the box...and pulls out a small grey pill
Juleka: Just so we're clear: this is untested technology. And it's not exactly legal. Which is why you're paying for it with cash in the back of a shoe store. I take no responsibility for what you might do with it. Or what it might do with you.
Adrien: What might it—
Juleka: To activate, take it with Mountain Dew. Don't know why. Just something about Mountain Dew. And, this is important—
Alya walks onto the stage, and the Juleka yells-
Juleka: I'm sold out!
Alya: Of...shoes?
Juleka: Oh, you're here for shoes. My bad.
She turns to Adrien and whispers,
Juleka: Scram.
Adrien: Wait, you were saying something important...
Juleka: Oh yeah. All sales are final.
She walks over to Alya and she leads her off
Juleka: We just got in a killer pair of pumps!...
Adrien and Nino are now in a mall food court setting. Examining the pill
Adrien: I hope you're worth four hundred dollars.
Nino: Four hundred and one. Don't forget the Mountain Dew.
Adrien: If this is real...my whole life could change… We should split it. You helped me get it. We should both benefit, right?
Nino: I don't think it works that way. Besides, I like knowing that when you're cool, you'll owe me.
Adrien: All right. Here goes...everything.
He puts the pill on his tongue, swallows it with the Mountain Dew
Nino: How does it taste?
Adrien: Minty.
Nino: How do you feel?
Adrien: Like... A chump!
Nino: Nothing? At all? Try to say something cool.
Adrien: I think I just blew my Bat Mitzvah money on a Wintergreen Tic-tac.
Nino: Yeah... Not cool.
Adrien: Please leave me alone to mourn in my fries, forever.
Nino: Okay. Five minutes.
Adrien: Where are you going?
Nino: Check it out. Guy in Spencer's Gifts is hooking me up with a case of Crystal Pepsi. It's like regular Pepsi. Only clear!
Adrien: Wasn't that discontinued in the 90's?
Nino: That's what makes it so awesome!
Once Nino leaves, Adrien looks up to see Marinette enter with Kim
Marinette: Shouldn't we wait for the rest of the cast?
Kim: Yeahh... We're not meeting the rest of the cast. I figured we could get to know each other. Alone. That's why I'm taking you to one of my favorite spots in the universe. Sbarro—
Adrien: Christine!
Marinette: Jeremy! I didn't see you there.
Kim: Yeah, you're kinda hard to notice.
He turns back to Marinette, ignoring Adrien
Kim: The best part, they let you pick whatever you want—
Adrien: Wait! ...There's something I need to tell you.
Kim: Now?
Adrien: I... I...
Suddenly, Adrien tenses up, his head wracked with pain
Adrien: Ow!
Smoke from a fog machine hidden somewhere on the stage begins to appear
Voice: Target female: inaccessible.
Marinette: Jeremy?
Adrien falls to the floor, thrashing around while holding his head
Adrien: OW! What the HELL?!
Voice: Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort.
Adrien: MILD?!?
Marinette: Jeremy, what's wrong?!
Alya, wearing a pair of purple pumps arrives to the scene and records Adrien’s freak-out on her phone
Kim: Dude, the freak's freaking out!
Voice: Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated.
Adrien gets up, now fine
Adrien: No, wait. I'm fine, I just—
Voice: Discomfort level may increase.
Adrien: AAHHHHH!
Adrien holds his head, his body involuntarily spasms in pain
Kim pulls Marinette away. Two silhouettes appear in the fog and approach Adrien
Voice: Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete. Jeremy Heere…
The two silhouettes are revealed to be Nathaniel and Marc. Both are clad in leather, and just oozing cool. They’re the Squips.
Nathaniel: Welcome! To your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor!....
Marc: Your SQUIPS.
Adrien: You look like Calum Worthy and Rain Dove.
Nathaniel: Our default modes. You can also set us for: Wonder Woman.
Marc: Todrick Hall.
Nathaniel: Cute Anime Cat Boys with tails.
Adrien: Th-this is fine. Can everyone see you?
Nathaniel: We exist only in your mind. All they see is you, having an animated conversation, with yourself. So don't do that. Just think at us. Like you're telepathic.
Adrien’s eyes light up
Adrien: Like in X-men?
Marc: Uuhhh… Sure... I can see this is going to be difficult. You want to be more chill.
Adrien: You mean cool.
Marc: I do not!
Nathaniel: You see, human social activity is governed by rules and we have the processing capacity to understand those rules. And pass them on to you.