Two Player Game
Adrien and Nino hang out in the bedroom setting, playing video games
Nino: Apocalypse of the Damned!
Adrien: Level 9!
Nino/Adrien: The Cafetorium!
FIND THE BAD GUY, PUSH HIM ASIDE, THEN MOVE ON FORWARD WITH YA
FRIEND AT YOUR SIDE
IT'S A TWO PLAYER GAME, SO WHEN THEY MAKE AN ATTACK
YOU KNOW YA GOTTA BROTHER GONNA HAVE YA BACK
THEN YA STAY ON TRACK, AND- AH!- REMAIN ON COURSE
IF THEY GIVE YA SMACK YA- GAH!- USE YOUR FORCE
IF YOU LEAVE YOUR BROTHER BEHIND ITS LAME
CUZ IT'S AN EFFED UP WORLD BUT IT'S A TWO-PLAYER GAME, HEY!
As they play the game, Adrien talks to Nino
Adrien: So? What do you think?
Nino: Rachel Goranski is scamming you. She’s scamming you super weirdly.
Adrien: What if she's not? This could be huge! All I need to do is give the girl who torments me six...hundred...she's totally scamming me!... I’m doomed to be a loser 'til the end of the world. No, probably then too.
Nino: No way.
DUDE, YOU ARE COOLER THAN A VINTAGE CASSETTE
IT'S JUST THAT NO ONE ELSE BUT ME THINKS THAT YET
YOU'RE JUST A NOTHING IN THE HIGH SCHOOL SCHEME
BUT IT'S NO BIG, CUZ YOU AND I ARE A TEAM
WE LIKE
OUT OF PRINT GAMES
RETRO SKATES
I GOT A PAC MAN TATTOO
Nino rolls up his sleeve revealing a Pac-Man tattoo drawn on with marker
Nino:
NOBODY HERE APPRECIATES
BUT SOON WE'LL BE TOGETHER WHERE THEY DO
CUZ GUYS LIKE US ARE COOL IN COLLEGE COOL IN COLLEGE, THIS I KNOW
GUYS LIKE US ARE COOL IN COLLEGE
WE RULE IN COLLEGE
LISTEN, BRO
HIGH SCHOOL IS HELL
BUT WE NAVIGATE IT WELL
CUZ WHAT WE DO
IS WE MAKE IT A TWO-PLAYER GAME!
Nino/Adrien: ZOMBIE!
WATCH OUT!
AAH!
WAH!
AAW!
Nino: Restart.
Adrien:
AS LOSERS WE HAVE FOUGHT TOGETHER FOR YEARS
BOTH NINTENDO ZOMBIES AND OUR POPULAR PEERS
NOW WE'RE STUCK ON A LEVEL AND I WANT TO MOVE ON
Nino:
JUST WAIT TWO YEARS WHEREUPON
YOU'LL REALIZE GUYS LIKE US ARE
Nino/Adrien: COOL IN COLLEGE
COOL IN COLLEGE
WON'T BE LAME
Adrien: DUDE, I KNOW, I GET IT
Nino/Adrien:
GUYS LIKE US ARE COOL IN COLLEGE
Adrien:
BUT WE'RE NOT IN COLLEGE
Nino:
ALL THE SAME
HIGH SCHOOL WHACK
BUT WE HAVE EACH OTHER'S BACK
IT'S ME AND YOU
Nino/Adrien: WE'VE MADE IT A TWO-PLAYER GAME
AGH!
OH!
ZOMBIE!
Ivan walks in
Ivan: Hello?
Adrien/Nino:
BLOOD!
Ivan: Son?
Adrien/Nino:
CLAWS!
Ivan: Jeremy!
Adrien/Nino: Pause.
Adrien looks to him before quickly averting his eyes
Adrien: AAH! Dad! Pants!
Ivan: Is that a girl? Are you here with a girl? Oh. Hi Michael.
Nino: Hey, Mr. Heere.
Ivan: I was going to order pizza. If there's something you boys want—
Adrien: Did you get dressed today? Like at all?
Ivan: Oh... They didn't need me at the office. So I worked from home.
Adrien: Most people wear pants at home.
Ivan: That's why most people...aren't your father… Good talk.
Ivan leaves. Nino recognizes the awkwardness of the moment
Nino: How is he doing?
Adrien: How does it look?
Nino: You heard from her?
Adrien: No. And who cares? It's like, Mom moved on, why can't he?
Seeing his eyes becoming glassy, Nino holds his hand
Nino: Hey—
Adrien: I don't want that to be my future! Rachel said her hook-up's at the Payless, what if we go there ourselves? Just to see if her story checks out?
Nino: And if it does? Will you be too cool for... Video games?
Adrien: No way.
YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY FAVORITE PERSON
THAT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T STILL DREAM
Nino playfully rolls his eyes, and leans in closer
Nino:
IS IT REALLY TRUE? I'M YOUR FAVOWITE PERSON?!
They have a small tickle fight, making some members of the audience chuckle
Adrien:
WE'RE NEVER NOT GONNA BE A TEAM
HIGH SCHOOL IS SHIT
AND YOU GOTTA HELP ME CONQUER IT
IT'S JUST WHAT WE DO
Nino/Adrien:
WE MAKE IT A TWO PLAYER GAME
FIND THE BAD GUY, PUSH HIM ASIDE
THEN MOVE ON FORWARD WITH YA FRIEND AT YOUR SIDE
IT'S A TWO PLAYER GAME, SO WHEN THEY MAKE AN ATTACK
YOU KNOW YA GOTTA BROTHER GONNA HAVE YA BACK
THEN YA STAY ON TRACK, AND- AH!- REMAIN ON COURSE
IF THEY GIVE YA SMACK YA- GAH!- USE YOUR FORCE
IF YOU LEAVE YOUR BROTHER BEHIND IT'S LAME
CUZ IT'S AN EFFED UP WORLD BUT IT'S A TWO-PLAYER GAME, HEY!
TWO PLAYER GAME
TWO PLAYER GAME
HEY
By the end of the song, they have arrived at ...Payless Shoes