METANOIA

Chapter one: The child.

{Warning: This chapter contains mentions of abuse, death, alcohol consumption and overdose and other elements of depression. Please read with caution}

Ebott springs was decent place to stay in, according to brochures and pamphlets. It was still developing, now stuck on the spectrum between the transition from a town to a small city while still retaining some of its charm. Usually occupied by those who are now focusing on starting and raising a family or those who have now past the prime of their life and withdrew for peace and quiet, to an outsider would consider it the picture of a perfect little town.

But things weren’t always what they seemed. From the shadow of the infamous mountain that loomed over it to the tiny parts tucked away inside alleys and behind buildings, the municipality and mayor shrouded the uglier sides to it. The poorer parts were never noticed, people would skip over the filthy bars, the prostitution rings, the run down streets and buildings and the washed out looks the inhabitants wore. People never cared much about the murder of a little girl who lived in the alleys with the sewage and trash.

And no one came when there was a cry of help.

The woman’s stance was slouched as she stumbled into the old, musty smelling apartment, breath reeking strongly of alcohol. Her eyes were bloodshot, gaze hazy while she scanned the small space, pressing her hand into the wall to support her teetering weight. Pushing herself forward, she collapsed on the battered grey couch that reeked of cigarette ash and shifted her body to face the ceiling, battling down the bouts of nausea, foul bile that threatened to creep up her throat.

“Chara!” She snapped out, head pounding. No sooner did the word when there was a patter of footsteps, a child stumbling into the room with panic. They paused in front of her and she shot them a look of critical loathing, an expression so graphic the child cowered back, opting to look down at their bare feet.

The woman didn’t see their haggard appearance, not the bruises on their wrists and joints, not the scars on whatever sickly pale skin that was exposed. She didn’t see how weak and malnourished they looked; all she felt was rage.

Rage from looking at a face that belonged to someone she once loved. Grimacing, she hastily beckoned them closer and when their didn’t step close enough, with movement unexpected from someone in a condition like hers, at the verge of a drunken stupor, she grabbed them roughly by the sleeve of the oversized sweater they wore and dragged them towards her. She could still feel the intense sadness and the bartender from the club shooing her away and telling her to return back to this shithole put her in a worse off mood.

She wanted to forget.

“Get me the beer in the ridge.” She croaked out, voice sharp as a knife. The child, Chara started with alarm, dull green eyes flashing with silent protest. The woman snarled. “Don’t look at me like that you fucking shit!”

They flinched with a soft whimper and the action only angered her more. “Get me what I want!” It was a sick irony how childish she sounded, but she didn’t care. Anima had seen enough of everything, the fucks at her workplace, her husband left her with her freak of a child to raise alone.

Said youth obediently disappeared around the corner where the kitchen was fit into a small niche then came back with a large bottle, shoulders hunched with discomfort. She snatched the glass object and feverishly popped the cap off, downing the bitter liquid quickly. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Chara retreat back into the bedroom and her fist clenched, throwing the metal cap in their direction. They let out a yelp when it bounced off the wall and crashed into a broken glass bowl, startling them.

She heard their feet thud over the floor, signaling that they had stumbled away. Taking another sip from the bottle, Anima felt the burn of alcohol, the numbness that spread throughout her body. Her drinking habit had increased over the past few weeks and the affects began to show drastically but her mind and soul now devoid of care squashed down any sense of reason and horror. Her insides griped like there was a literal war that was waged within her.

She didn’t know how much time had passed, her senses now blurred and indistinguishable between each other.

Her breathes grew shorter by the time she finished the drink, bile rising to the back of her throat, choking her. She couldn’t get up considering how weak she felt, so she stayed there and shut her eyes, letting out a haggard sigh.

For a split second she saw familiar green eyes and crisp brown locks, the mischievous glint in those emerald hues cracking a smile out of her. The vision flickered when she reached out to him then diminished, leaving her in the stink of the couch and the feeling of slipping into darkness.

She heard a soft whimper and a small hand grip hers, warm and mildly scarred and suddenly, for the first and last time, she smiled at the child before her.

___

Chara ran silently over the streets, taking in deep short breaths. For a moment, they paused, controlling the sobs that threatened to burst out of their small body and leave them a blubbering mess then and there. Their feelings were conflicting, clashing against each other; on one hand they were mildly relived when they watched the life flash and fade out of their mother’s eyes but another part felt inexplicably empty and desolate.

Abuse both physical and emotional had pushed them closer to insanity and suicide, something they had been enduring for six whole years after the death of their father when they were still four. Their mother’s actions, though unjustifiable was still driven by her own grief and hatred and while Chara hated her for taking it out on them in a way as horrific as she did, they couldn’t help but care about her, love what she once used to be, what she could have been, who she really was underneath all that depression and anger.

Maybe it was a curse they looked so much like their father. Chara was never exposed to what their life could have been after his death, them being far too young to see the opportunities it had offered. Their dreams were small, subjected only to thoughts of living with their parents and caring for them for the rest of their life. Their mother barely let them leave the apartment and the times that they did, they forced themselves back inside the moment someone looked at them in a way that made their spine lurch.

Having never experienced anything, the only window they had being the torn, old picture books from their younger years about princesses, shapes and colors. They could barely read having never experienced proper education, three to four letter words being the most they could manage. Their mother’s wrath had frightened the voice out of them when young thus they had spent the past year in silence, barely stating a single word in fear of the woman lashing out.

Under normal circumstances, Chara would have considered themselves free from the restrictions they once had, but their situation was similar to the situation a caged bird was faced with. They were shut away all their life with barely any connections to the world outside and once attaining freedom like the bird, they were suddenly exposed to things they never knew of. Their wings were clipped, so they could barely fly, their guardian was harsh so they couldn’t trust another without worrying about being hurt and they couldn’t survive  and fight back if they were ever caught and torn apart by a predator.

Gritting their teeth together, they squashed down the feelings and glanced up at the stars, the night casting its charm and glow on the buildings and pavements. For once, they watched the sight before their hues slid over the small structures that housed the residents of their neighborhood and landed on the faint outline of Mount. Ebott, the tall dark shape jutting out from behind the houses. They pressed their lips together, feeing something lurch and drop in the pit of their stomach.

There was still one thing that they had caught on from overhearing talk and gossip, even mutters from her mother; the legend the mountain’s reputation was built upon—the very reason why it was ranked one of the most hazardous places in the continent. Nobody knows why Ebott was a walking ticket to no return but Chara had heard one adult drop the possibility of monsters living within its caverns.

They didn’t know what to believe but the despair that clenched at their Soul was too much for their young mind to bear. Picking at their finger nails nervously, they considered the idea. There was an unpleasant tingle up their back when they mulled over the thought of ending their life but the heaviness outweighed it, stepping on the cry of reason and snuffing it out.

“Chara?” A voice suddenly called out and they tensed, snapping their head towards the general direction of the voice. The shadow shifted and a taller figure stood there, eclipsing any light behind them. They felt the blood rush to their head in their state of panic on being found out, taking a few steps back. “What are you doing here? Where is your mother?” They felt hands grip their shoulders to root them in place and a scream tore through. Shaking the hold off of them, they quickly sped down the road towards the mountain.

“Wait!”

The cry fell on deaf ears. They kept going.

Concrete slowly gave way to dirt, the moments a blur that raced past their eyes as they barely registered their surroundings. Somehow, they managed to get to the outskirts where the houses grew more scattered and squeezed through a hole in the messily constructed wire fence erected around the base of the large structure. Up close, Ebott looked much more intimidating with the moonlight casting out it’s glow and illuminating a few pine trees that illuminated the base.

Once they were at the other side of the fence, they fell to their knees and coughed violently, their body weakened from the workout they subjected themselves through. They had to be more careful now if they had to save their stamina for the climb, so they pulled themselves into the shadow of the woods, out of the vision of any prying eyes. They sat back for a few moments, ducking their head under their arms, the negative thoughts slowly creeping back up.

They didn’t know how long they were lying there, or when they had fallen asleep but Chara woke to find themselves leaning against a tree trunk, sunlight filtering through the shade. They blinked once, then twice ridding themselves of any sleepiness and got to their feet, trying to speculate how they got there in the first place. It was only a few seconds of disorientation, their memories returning full force soon after.

A sob built up in their chest and a few tears slowly fell from their cheeks. Chara wiped them away with a dirty sleeve, furrowing their eyebrows with frustration at the amount of negativity building up. Rubbing their arms down, they took one staggering step forward, then another towards the summit. Hopefully they’ll disappear like everyone else. The feeling returned once more, that tiny spark of indecisiveness that almost made them rethink their decisions.

Chara pushed it down and soldiered on, stepping on a few stray rocks and falling on their knees a couple of time, reopening old cuts and wounds. The incline slowly grew steeper and some more of their strength sapped away while they walked. Pushing aside a few leaves they looked up at the sky and realized they were barely halfway up the peak when the sun slowly began to sink in the west. They heaved in a few breaths, eyes landing on a cave. So far, no harm had come to them and they were beginning to question the myth’s validity.

From what they did know, the mountain was home to bloodthirsty monsters. At times, when they’d be bored from sifting through the tattered picture books they had, Chara would lie down on their mattress back at home and think about the possibilities of monsters existing. It seemed unreal that a whole race lived right next door, so they dismissed it as superstation. Besides, if they DID exist why didn’t they approach human settlements?

Chara decided to investigate the cavern before them, a large looming structure that bored into the side of the mountain. If it was safe, they could rest here a while without being seen. There was a low probability that someone would come to find them, their mother made it quite obvious that they weren’t cared for at all by the people who lived in the neighborhood—the people who knew they existed. Stepping into the cave, their vision darkened at the lack of sunlight filtering in. they still took a step forward though, breath shaky.

For some reason, they found themselves hunching their shoulders and letting out tiny hoots and whimpers. The darkness in the grotto almost seemed to be creeping up the walls, every tiny sound echoing through the walls. Their ears buzzed and their skin felt clammy and cold; Chara hated the dark and they were beginning to regret their decision entering the cave. Stopping where they were, they turned on their heel to retrace their footsteps, only to feel some earth give away beneath them.

They fell back and instead of meeting hard ground, they found themselves hurtling through a tunnel, a hole of sorts that they missed due to the darkness in the cave.

Down.

Down.

Down.

They fell for what seemed to be hours and the feeling of impending death settled on them. A fall like this will kill them instantly and Chara’s initial resolve to disappear gave way to protest and terror. They didn’t want to die. They didn’t want, not so soon. Images flashed through their eyes, their childhood and the possibility that the world was much more than that apartment and their abusive mother. They let out a scream, a cry, a tantrum as they continued to fall through the black hole.

Then they landed on their back and their vision turned black for a split second before their consciousness returned. Instead of hard ground, they were greeted with softer padding and they had the fleeting sensation of arms encircling them into a comforting, protective embrace. Petals flew up into their field of vision, then wafted down gently. Chara fell themselves catch a breath, heart racing faster than ever. They tried to calm themselves down, the shock of the fall slowly beginning to deteriorate. Their breathing slowed from its initial rasp and they painfully picked themselves up, body aching.

The padding, they realized, turned out to be flowers that were intermingled with stuffing and polyester. A sort of light seemed to hang around the caverns, though they weren’t sure what it was; but it resembled a halo that engulfed the flower patch, casting a golden glow around the room. They desperately looked for the source of light, but couldn’t find it so they gave up and fell back on the flowers again, sniffling and choking on their tears. They didn’t know why they were crying. Was it because they were overwhelmed from the turn of events that took place, the fleeting pain they felt from the fall or the relief from not dying. Maybe it was all three. They weren’t sure.

Curling themselves up, they felt the warmth again and a feeling they couldn’t really describe. It was slightly intimidating, like standing in the presence of a stern sibling or parent but simultaneously coaxing them into a foreign safety. Even with their addled mind, Chara could feel a soft voice whisper in their head and they tried to decipher it, screwing their eyes shut in the process.

*Name the fallen human:

*Frisk.

They welcomed the sensation and hummed silently, breathing in and out. The air smelt musty, contrasting with the freshness that overloaded their lungs when they were venturing through the forest. A faint rustle got their attention and they pushed themselves up again, startled while they scanned the area. A shadow darted within their line of vision, something black and purple. It skittered into the darkness, then stopped, just within their field of vision.

Chara didn’t know what came over them, but they quickly scrambled to their feet, even though they screamed in protest and broke into an awkward, painful run after the creature. It froze in place, then darted into the caverns once more. They slipped a couple of times pursuing whatever it was, scuffing their knees on dry, hard rocks but they kept going on until stone gave way to brick and the floor turned more even. Their footsteps echoed through the hall and they looked forward, just in time to see the creature disappear behind an open door.

They wasted no time and followed after, holding out their hands and grabbing the creature. It felt soft, almost plush and it let out a high pitched screech, wriggling in their grasp. Alarmed, Chara dropped it and backed away, breathing heavy. The creature shuffled to the center of the new room, whining then paused at a tiny spot where twilight filtered through the ceiling. They finally saw it clearly, a beaten, torn and murky doll.

Alarm rang in their throat and it seemed equally affected, cringing at their yelp. It kept a safe distance away from them, button nose twitching with anxiety. Chara took the time to quickly take in their appearance. The doll seemed to resemble a mix between a cat and a dog from their picture books, colored white, now a dull gray from the wear of time. One pointy ear was ripped off, leaving behind a mass of fluff that was nearly obscured by its dark grey hair which was cropped to it’s shoulders. It wore what seemed to be a long sleeved turtleneck, black with purple stripes with a large purple scarf that obscured the bottom half of their head.

They were shaking visibly and Chara didn’t dare make a move either. They knew how it must be feeling and opted to keep their distance, partly afraid of the unpredictability of their actions. Then it finally relaxed, though its ears kept twitching, as if on the lookout for a certain sound that meant danger. Chara didn’t approach them yet though, as innocent as it looked, they were still too afraid and their hand fisted to the side before they released it in panic. Were they about to react aggressively? They didn’t want to do that…no ever…

A hum resounded in their head, but they brushed it aside. “Come closer…” A voice suddenly rang out; it sounded slightly crackled but childish and innocent. Chara started with shock when they realized the source was the doll who was now sitting upright. When they didn’t comply, it—he sighed. “I guessed…I don’t blame you for not trusting me and all…being a talking doll and the whole shebang.” A nervous laugh tittered out of them and Chara stayed silent, feeling their body shake at the surrealism.

There was no other explanation, they realized, head spinning. The legends…the monsters…they were real. Why on earth would they be talking to a doll unless they hit their head too hard? A screech escaped their mouth before they could hold it back and they hunched their shoulders, cupping their hand over their mouth. The doll cringed, ears flattening and head bowed. A remorseful whine escaped out of him.

“Don’t yell!” he snapped, tone a little harsh and Chara flinched. His eyes melted to mild regret and he shook his large head. “I-I I’m sorry! I just…you need to be more careful is all.” He let out another sigh. “But I guess it’s finally settled in? Then I guess you must have heard some stories about this place up there.” The doll fell silent, waiting expectantly for an answer. He seemed a little anxious about something.

Chara nodded and his ears flattened. “You can’t talk…can you? The others usually did before…” The doll mumbled. “But…w-we can work around that! Yo there, human! I’m Temmie the Tem doll and uh…” He trailed off, trying to find the words to use in his sentence. “Ah well…you might know about the monsters living down here then.” The child felt their spine grow cold under all the panic and confusion and they felt a lump build up in their throat.

“And I think it’s safe to say you won’t survive here.” By now the doll, Temmie was rambling, his face contorted to a panicky expression. It didn’t help sooth Chara’s nerves in any way, especially with the way his tone seemed to take a higher, shrill pitch. “I know it sounds bad, but this place is governed by one rule so hear it out and hear it well: ‘Kill or be Killed’ and if you don’t stick to it, you will never make it. The monsters out here are ruthless…they aren’t what they used to be…”

His tone cracked at that and a tear welled down his cheek. “And you being a human makes this situation worse, understand? They will stop at nothing to get your Soul…absolutely NOTHING, so you need to start moving right NOW. At least before Asgore gets here.” The hint of hysteria was enough to have Chara wail softly, squeezing their eyes shut with terror. They heard him gasp and let out a strong of unintelligible mumbles before a soft thud sounded out.

“Oh nono, don’t cry…it’s my fault…you look like you’ve been through a lot and I just dropped all of that onto you…I’m sorry.” He whispered. Chara sniffed and opened their eyes again, vision slightly blurry. Temmie was a little closer now, his face slightly obscured by the light. “But if there’s one thing we need to do, it’s to start moving. The smaller monsters won’t be much of a problem…if you avoid them, they won’t attack you. Just avoid Asgore. Big guy, goat, huge horns, very noticeably insane…” the comments kept coming and the child kept nodding while trying to keep up with him. Temmie then settle, ears twitching again. “He usually makes his rounds and he’ll be here soon. We need to get a head start.”

Temmie quickly got to his feet and scuttled forward, towards the darkness of the cavern. Chara didn’t follow, apprehension flaring in their chest and they saw him stop to look back, black eyes glinting with a feeling they couldn’t put their finger on. Chara knew better than to trust someone they just met—people hurt them too many times to count and what was to say that Temmie, as ridiculous as it sounds, would hurt them the same way their mother would?

“You can trust me.” He whispered out. “Please…I don’t want another human to die while I just sit by and watch. Please…give me this chance.” His pleading tone struck a nail and their chest gave a tiny twinge. They couldn’t protest in any way to the pleading tone Temmie held and cautiously crept after him. He waited for them to catch up to him before speaking up once more. “I’m kinda scared of leaving you behind…here, how about you pick me up so that we stick together?”

It was an innocent request but Chara raised their eyebrows, hesitating for a second before inclining their back and holding out their arms. Temmie clambered on and shifted his position so that he was comfortable in their hold. He stuck a paw out in front of him with a small smile. “No we go forward. Step lively though and be careful.” They nodded and broke into a slow jog, hunching their shoulders and squeezing Temmie closer to their chest as they disappeared into the shadows.

“Do you have a name?” He asked softly and Chara hunched their shoulders. A soft voice lingered out and Temmie blinked. “Chara? That’s your name? That’s a pretty one.” They frowned with slight bewilderment at how Temmie seemed to catch on to it even when they did nothing to relay that piece of information to him. Names held power and they were slightly uneasy at the thought that a complete stranger would know it. Even so, they shrugged it off; it was probably some magic at play.

There was a small flicker at the end of the tunnel.