METANOIA

Chapter two: The Haven

{Warning: This chapter contains mentions of child abuse, trauma, panic attacks and PTSD. Please read with caution.}

The catacombs were larger than they had expected, leaving Chara edgy and anxious. The sound of their footfalls bouncing off every surface made Temmie tense and cringe in their hold; they could see the doll battling down the urge to tell them to be quiet.

A few torches lined the walls of the ruins, burning an intense purple-white as if lit up my unknown means. Chara had never seen flames of that color before and had stopped to observe one torch. The blaze twisted and danced, streaks of violet, blue, white and red writhing and sparking out. It was oddly beautiful…but it looked deadly at the same time. They wisely decided to keep their distance from them and continued through the winding passages. They tripped a few times and nearly fell face first if they hadn’t set a foot in to stabilize themselves.

Temmie mumbled something under his breath, followed by a small giggle and when Chara shot them a questioning look, he would wave it off with a, “Oh nothing…just remembered something funny.” Then his amused expression would morph back to its usual anxious set.

The path slowly straightened out and Chara found their vision adjust with the dim lighting of the sporadic torches. They were half annoyed at the flimsy arrangement; you could expect a child to feel frustrated about such a disadvantage especially when they were so tense at the idea of a monster popping out of the darkness and tearing them apart.

When they could finally see their surroundings to a certain degree, they could make out the outline and shapes of fallen pillars, the cracks that spider webbed over the off blue and grey tiles and bricks of the walls and the rubble that heaped over at the base, a pile of stone that final gave way to time and collapsed. Taking some time to observe a little more of their surroundings, they focused their gaze on the walls. There were boards of wood covering what used to be windows and Chara paused, trying to peer through the tiny glimpses.

“This place once used to be a town.” Temmie piped up. “There’s this spot in the Haven where you can see a whole landscape of buildings…it’s all falling apart now but it’s still quite a view.” They saw what he meant, catching sight of a few rows of buildings. Somewhere in the distance, though they could barely see it was a large black mass and they looked at it with burning longing and fascination. “We better keep going.” The doll stated.

Chara hummed, continuing on after sparing one last peek and carefully scrambled over a pillar that blocked their way. They glanced back and blinked to see scorch marks littering its surface, degrading the granite to a point where a large person could step over it with a little elbow grease. A part of them was curious to know what might have blasted through such hard rock but another part of them didn’t want to meet this person.

Finally, they seemed to enter a new area, considerably bigger than the narrow passage they had to walk through. They assumed it was a clearing and it was better lit, torches lining the path towards a pair of stairs that curved towards each other on a stone parapet a good height above them. More windows, boarded up as well were situated on either side.

It must have been a fancy stairway once upon a time and it still retained its beauty though in a more wild and mystical rather than elegant way. The marble stairs were now crumbling in certain places, a good portion having been collapsed in the right stairway. Chara felt like they had stumbled across an old civilization as they scanned the sight.

Between the winding stairs was a patch of scarlet leaves and a broom that was leaning against a wall signs of it being recently swept up showing. Not a single sprig was out of place, all meticulously bunched up into that designated spot. The leaves further clustered around a polished granite fountain that was still holding water in its vessel. A dilapidated statue stood in the center, head cut off. Chara suppressed a shiver at the sight of it but couldn’t help but admire its beauty.

From a corner of Chara’s vision, they spotted a tiny shine that seemed to break through from the leaves. They had barely begun their ascension up the stairs when they slowly, almost tentatively retraced their steps and approached the pile of leaves.

“Chara, what is it?” Temmie asked, unhappy with their sudden distraction but they ignored him for the time being, opting to shift their hold on him so that he was now nestled between the crook of their arm. With their free hand, they pushed aside some leaves to reveal an almost incandescent light that shone brighter than the torches that lit their way. Chara shielded their eyes but to their mild confusion, Temmie seemed unfazed, almost bewildered at their actions. Could he not see it?

Blinking a few times, they saw the light was actually a star of sorts and they nearly questioned the probability of it having fallen from the sky. It was vaguely shaped to four points but it seemed to constantly shift and twinkle. They looked at Temmie, who didn’t seem to notice it; but he caught on to their enquiring glance and mild surprise filtered into his eyes.

“Oh, you can see them?” he asked. “You must be looking at a SAVE star. There are things like these all over the Underground. Only monsters with Determination can see them like you can…but as for using them…” He frowned slightly and looked at the general direction of the star. They did as well, admiring the soft glow it let out now, a mix between orange and bright yellow. It was a pretty sight and Chara felt oddly comforted again, similar to strange sensation they had when they were on the bed of flowers. “Try touching it. Maybe it will help.”

Chara didn’t like that this was all hanging on a ‘maybe’ or ‘what if’ but their hand reached for it anyway since the shine was so inviting. Their fingers grazed against its center and instead of their hand being scorched or burnt like a tiny part of them expected, it seemed to fill their entire body with an exhilarating emotion, what seemed to be a tiny push, a reason. It was like a whisper that coursed through their every vein. It felt like comfort, like home.

*Frisk  LV 1

*Thinking of how beautiful this place must have been and Temmie’s guidance fills you with DETERMINATION.

*File Saved.

They couldn’t pinpoint the gender of the voice that murmured the words into their ear, but it was gentle, almost motherly in a sense. A new feeling coursed through their chest, one they have rarely felt before: HOPE. Chara suddenly found themselves though slight, yes, filled with the resolve to keep moving on. Temmie looked up at them with searching eyes and for the first time since falling, they smiled a small, wobbly anxious smile. His ears twitched as he returned it, looking genuinely pleased.

“So you can use them?” He asked and Chara gave a small nod in reply, still trying to process what may have just happened. He let out a soft breath and shifted his position for a little more comfort, black eyes hazed over slightly. “Then that’s good. Whenever you see those stars, you have to Save your progress. It’s going to help a lot in the long run, I can give you that…what is it?” He squeaked out. They still felt lingers of the feeling and it was enough to move their body up the stairs. They heard Temmie let out a soft breath.

The stone beneath them crumbled a few times, sending a cold, clammy feeling up their spine and numbing their hands. The impact of time had aged and weakened the rocks considerably, turning what was once tough marble and granite into flaking structures with weak foundations. The fear returned once more during the ascension and their steps grew more cautious, this time pausing a few times to see if it could support their weight. Temmie let out an impatient noise and patted his paw on the arm.

“Hey, if someone as big as Asgore can travel up these steps, it shouldn’t be a problem for you.” He stated, expression set in a deadpan. Chara wanted to protest but as usual, their throat constricted and no sound could escape them. Instead, they sped up a little and soon, they managed to get to the top of the stairs. Another doorway stood before them, decorated with carved metal and granite encased with vines, a faintly familiar symbol etched on.

Chara stopped to take a quick but rapt peek at it. It was slightly faded, but it still stood boldly out against the door, a deep, rich black that formed three triangles at the base and a winged circle that seemed to be descending down above them. They wondered what it meant but didn’t try to ask Temmie with the minimal amount of time in their hands.

Instead, they lay the doll down to press their palms on the door, brows knitted together as tried to pry it open. They felt their companion move at their feet and from their peripheral vision, saw his arms elongate and aid them in their endeavor.

They were a bit too focused on their task but the fascination grew within their gut. Finally, with a massive groan, the door gave way and groaned them access to move on to the next area. It was another room, this time considerably smaller in size to the previous one, four torches lighting up each corner. A few vines managed to grow in the meager light. On the floor before them were a few metal switches set down with a closed doorway blocking their path that had a lever next to it.

“Right…so down here, monsters build these things called puzzles and traps, mechanisms that are meant to distract, delay or trap a human like you.” He explained. Chara was genuinely bewildered at this portrayal, their experiences with puzzles being paper based like crosswords from the old newspapers lying around to riddles and the tiny cardboard pieces when put together form a complete picture. They were in no way dangerous or distracting but with the dolls’ warning lilt, they knew that these things weren’t a joke to simply pass by. They looked at him expectantly and Temmie sidled up to the panels.

“These things used to have hints on plaques and boards, but Asgore ended up destroying them. A lot of the newer monsters ended up dusting because of how deadly some of them are.” Temmie mumbled softly, ears twitching. His voice was cracking again, this time with anger and frustration. He walked over to the switches, then beckoned to Chara who started with the sudden call and stumbled after him.

“I think I remember the hint, though. It went along the lines of ‘the lines of separation between what we see is thin. What could be a symbol for the wrong can be a sign of optimism and a trigger for unity’.” He recited, then glanced up at Chara, asking for any ideas. “There are nine panels here…if we step on the wrong one…then…” his tone trailed off when Chara spotted red splashed on the surface of one and they suddenly felt sick.

Temmie continued his thoughtful muttering, scrutinizing the panels. “I know the answer…I do…” he mumbled. “I just…I don’t remember.” He sounded small. “A symbol of wrong but also one for optimism and unity…well, a heart? I mean the Souls…I…” Chara shifted in place, looking at the panels themselves. “OH!” Temmie burst out and they flinched. “I think I have it. You need to step on the six switches to make an ‘X’. I’d do it myself, but uh…this thing needs some weight and I don’t have much muscle on me.”

Chara obeyed him and stepped on the buttons that he pointed out. The first one gave way under their feet and sank down, the soft click and vibration of sophisticated machinery whirring under their bare feet. They flinched, the foreign sensation duly unwelcome and hoped off the switch, quickly moving towards the next one and pressing it down. A sharp ring sounded out and they looked at Temmie for a sign of affirmation. He looked relieved.

“Great, now just pull down the lever.” He instructed and Chara did so. There was a clang and the door slowly slid open, revealing the path that was blocked prior. A smile crept up their face and they glanced at Temmie, quickly gathering him in their arms. They passed by a broken metal plaque that was partly singed and melted. They could barely make out the writing on it; Chara wasn’t very adept at reading in spite of their ten years existing in this world.

Perhaps it was the restricted and minimal access they had, they didn’t know but their mind wandered back to their mother and their chest clenched with a mix between frustration and sadness. They despised the fact that they still missed her and quickly walked away from the sign when the words jumped up and muddled their mind.

“Quickly.” Temmie whispered and they picked up their pace. This room was longer, a hallway of sorts, they decided, that stretched across till the end. Two streams, smaller than most but wide enough to hamper any progress without a bridge. There was one more sign, this one burnt as well so they walked right past it, over the wet, mossy boulders and stepping stones set across the streams that had them slip over and nearly lose their balance (but thankfully didn’t happen). They knew they’d probably break apart if that were to happen and the thought was no pretty.

Eight levers lay across with a metal grate beneath each of them and Chara faltered, eyeing the sight with intimidation. The exit was blocked by a row of spikes, too high for them to clamber over and too sharp and deadly to risk it. Temmie was still shaking, but he still managed to clear his head enough to speak up again. “Asgore had marked the switches before.” He whispered, voice strained. “Before he…ah, what I’m trying to convey is that maybe the paint did wear off completely. You’re supposed to flip them in the correct order I think.”

Chara stepped forward carefully and squinted at the walls, trying to find any markings that remained on. There, they spotted the remnants of bright yellow paint that had faded slightly, faint words scrawled out above the switches: MI, LA, DO, TI, FA, DO, RE and SO, with the exception of the repeated word being labeled in green. They mainly consisted of two letters, so the child was able to read them without getting overwhelmed in any way.

Chara looked at Temmie questioningly, looking for any prompts to pull them and the doll nodded, leading them to the first one. He read the words, his black eyes brightening in. “of course…it’s an octave!” He realized and the child’s confusion grew. They looked at the doll helplessly, silently pleading for a clearer explanation. He chuckled softly, holding up a paw at one lever. “You know…in music. There’s a particular order in which the letters are placed so it’s not gibberish.” He explained. “Maybe try that one!” He pointed to the lever marked ‘DO’ with the green labeling.

Gripping the handle that was wrapped around with a damp, foul smelling rag, they pulled the lever downwards, standing on their tiptoes to reach it to do so. With an audible ‘CLANG’, it slid down and Temmie let out a shriek, his arms suddenly lengthening to push the wall. Chara, in that moment of disorientation, fell back just as a couple of deadly spikes shot up from the grate, nearly mauling them.

“I think it’s supposed to be the one with the yellow label.” Temmie stuttered, his voice squeaky. “I’m so sorry…I…I almost got you killed.” The child felt their chest ache at the sight of his visible despair and shook their head, forcing a small smile on their face; even though their body felt cold, like their blood stopped pumping through their veins. They were thankful he managed to get them out of the way or else they would have…died.

Their companion frowned. “You…okay…” he mumbled. “Let’s try again.” Chara nodded and patted their hands, frowning at how they were now faintly stained brown. Temmie stared at it with horror, looking sick. They didn’t catch the expression though and picked themselves up, this time working on the once that had the yellow labels first in the sequence the doll recited: ‘DO RE MI FA SO LA TI DO’. When the last lever was pulled down and the brown practically coated their hands, there was a loud crack and Temmie nodded.

They took that as a sign to continue on their path and crossed the second set of stepping stones, stopping for a second to wash their hands in the water. The rusty spikes had now slid down into the floor, leaving a clear way of escape and Chara rushed through, heart pounding and ears buzzing. They were almost afraid that the spikes would shoot up again like in the puzzle before if they stepped on it but nothing happened. They heaved a small sigh.

The newer environment was no different, even smaller in fact and barely lit as well. By now Chara was used to the darkness and padded forward, glancing at a dummy that stood in the corner. It seemed worse for wear, looking like it had been dragged through hell and back with the amount of rips and slashed across it. Its body was crooked and it looked pitiful against the cracked walls behind it.

Its button eyes seemed to be watching them carefully and they swore it let out a soft hoot and shifted to the side. Pressing their lips together, they took a tentative step forward and gave the dummy a small, but gentle poke on its nose. It leaned back and let out a small sneeze, making them take a step behind, startled. A soft gasp escaped Chara’s lips.

* The Despairing Dummy has no time for a fight.

The soft voice that whispered in their head had them frown. They didn’t know what to trust and who to trust, but if the dummy didn’t want to engage in any conflict, Chara decided to leave it alone. They knew that feeling of being cornered and beaten when they did nothing wrong, that helplessness so they cracked the kindest smile they could manage, looking the dummy in its button eyes and patted it gently on the head. They wanted to speak out a few words, but the very thought of the action sent a clench in their chest. They were too afraid to.

* You told the Dummy that you won’t hurt it. Instead, you cracked a joke about the weather.

A giggle escaped it and a small smile seemed to curl up its stitched mouth. Its black eyes seemed to brighten slightly. “What are you doing?” Temmie hissed. “I’m pretty sure I told you the rules of this place.” He analyzed the situation, barrowing his eyes at the dummy. “In fact, this is the perfect time for you to build up your strength. Small talk won’t get you anywhere, Chara. You need to attack the dummy.” The light seemed to vanish in the dummy’s eyes and it almost seemed expectant. Chara felt heaviness weigh down on their chest.

They looked at the dummy, the cornered expression it wore directing harsh recollection of their life. Their hands trembled and they shook their head, feeling their breath constrict. They didn’t want to hurt it, not ever. Not after what they’ve gone through themselves. While Chara was rather bitter, violence was certainly not the first answer in their mind. Trying to suppress this horrible, clammy feeling, trying to cease the shaking in their hands, trying desperately, desperately to push back the pain and breathlessness that hit them luck a speeding truck and the flashes of memories in their eyes.

“Chara?” Temmie called out and they instinctively pulled them closer, sobbing softly. They felt him pat their cheeks. “Alright, you don’t have to hurt the dummy. Just stop crying now…please?” They let out a few coughs, the panic slowly starting to fade at the gentle contact of their comrade and sniffed. They looked up at the Dummy again, it’s darned mouth now turned down somehow.

*You apologized to the dummy for your outburst and offered it mercy.

The dummy stood still for a second, then leaned forward, dropping something on the floor, then leaned back again. Chara swore they heard a soft “thank you…” echoing from it, but shrugged it off. They had no time to mull over the prospect of every stuffed creature being alive in this place.

*The dummy forgives you. It appears to be mildly concerned, and helps in its own way.

*YOU WON! You received 0XP and 3GOLD.

*Oh, and what’s this?

Chara bent down to pick up the item the dummy dropped, a foil wrapper crinkling between their fingers. They looked at the dummy with a smile and nodded in gratitude though they hadn’t the faintest clue what it was. Walking to the next room, they held the foil to Temmie who gave it a sniff, his ears twitching and tail wagging slightly.

“It’s a monster candy.” He mused then explained further. “I didn’t know there were any left in the Haven…Asgore revoked the distribution of healing items when he…snapped. When you lose health in a battle, you can eat it to regain some points and last longer in the conflict.” Chara eyed the small hard boiled sugar ball with awe, contemplating on how something so…unhealthy and cavity causing can save their life.

*It seems irony and sarcasm is a rather effective source of humor down here. You pocketed the candy.

The voice whispered gently in their ears as they did so and they noticeably frowned this time, looking around them for any sign of life. “You okay?” Temmie asked. “We can’t waste time now…Asgore could come waltzing in and burn you to a crisp.” They snapped out of their trance and He gave a little laugh at their almost dazed look. Shuffling forward, their bare feet avoided any loose stone and rock that may injure the soles. The next room was empty, having no puzzles whatsoever save a few torches and vines climbing up, so they paid it no mind.

“I’m pretty sure there’s something we need to look out for.” Temmie muttered to himself then looked up at them conversationally. Chara smiled back down at them. “You know, I haven’t wandered that much in the Haven, so my sense of direction navigating it is pretty rusty. I usually just hang around the flowerbed to warn any human before Asgore gets to them.” They looked at them, something stirring inside them…pity? They didn’t know and a part of them really wanted to wrap their head around the rarely felt and overwhelming feelings that they were experiencing.

Turning around the corner, they spotted something white dart behind a wall, then peek out at them, curiosity in its dewdrop black eyes. Chara paused, with a jolt, startled at the sudden appearance and it immediately backed away and plunged into the water.

They pattered after it and nearly fell over, screaming at the rows of rusty spikes that invited them to death by impalement. Looking at the deadly trap, they let out a whimper, knees weak and wobbly and backed away. Temmie was breathing heavily; they could feel his movement and looked at him with desperate, questioning eyes. How on earth were they to cross this?

“I…I don’t know the answer.” Temmie squeaked, looking slightly stricken and panicky. “Stars I’m so sorry I just…” his voice trailed off and landed in the water. Chara looked at his thoughtful, black eyes and a silent understanding seemed to pass through them. Quickly lifting him to a higher level and resting him on their head, one hand stabilizing him, Chara slowly walked up to the rickety wood pier and gently lowered themselves into the small collection of water. They yelped at the freezing temperature, he let out a scream when the old, rotten wood gave way into their hold and they fell into the water.

It felt like a thousand knives were stabbing them all over. Squinting through the murky liquid, they caught a flaying Temmie who was sinking to the bottom and held him close, quickly trying to recover their balance, water going up their nose and down their throat and windpipe.

Their head felt heavy, but they managed to stick their head to the surface, taking in deep breaths of air. The level was a little ways above their shoulders, thankfully but the cold temperature it took was a reason enough as to why monsters wouldn’t take this route.

They waded across the small pool, passing by the spikes albeit with difficulty. They caught sight of some dust and red stains on it, their stomach giving an unpleasant lurch. They didn’t want to know where they came from. Pushing their legs forward, they let out a soft gasp. Finally, they were at the other side and their chest erupted with relief when they hauled themselves onto solid ground.

Laying there for a while, they felt Temmie quickly leap off and shake himself, spraying tiny drops of water all over the floors and wall and of course, the human that gasped on the granite tiles like a fish out of water.

Their limbs already felt so tired and Chara quite honestly didn’t feel like going on but when they felt Temmie take their hand with his small paw and look around will anxiety, they knew they had no choice but to keep going.

So far they hadn’t encountered an aggressive monster and a sinking feeling in their gut told them that the tense peace wasn’t going to last. They didn’t want to meet this Asgore, especially if their partner seemed terrified at the very thought of him.

Forcing themselves to their feet, they let out a grunt when their drenched sweater weighed them down, water dripping on the floor. Chara noticed their knees, hands and feet were scraped from their little escapade, but paid no mind to it. They went through worse anyway, so these minor cuts didn’t bother them. Instead, they collected Temmie in their arms. He looked at them with his usual concern, opening his mouth to say something, but decided against it and buried his head into their chest. Chara curled their fingers around the doorframe and cautiously stepped into the next room after checking for any interlopers.

They didn’t expect a long, narrow hallway that seemed to stretch on till eternity. They tensed when their eyes landed on the dark shadows that shifted under the torches that were painfully scanty. A good majority of it gave into the darkness and Chara hated the dark.

The entrance to the Haven was an exception, being more focused on catching Temmie while the route to the grand staircase was lit up but only just. They were afraid of being swallowed up by it and when the child made no attempt to move forward, Temmie turned to look at them.

“Chara, are you okay, yo?” He squeaked out and they shook their head. He let out a soft sigh. “Are you afraid? You can hold my paw if you are. It’s okay…” He soothed and Chara took their paw again, feeling a little comforted. They quickly made way through the hallway, anxiety spiking to dizzying levels. It was like the shadows were playing tricks on them and the walls closing in around them into a tiny, clogged cube that barely gave them room to breathe and darkness was the only their eyes could perceive.

Chara found it harder to inhale and exhale, white noise filling their ears, blocking out Temmie’s startles but comforting words in seconds. They felt cold and clammy again, limbs aching and hot tears streaming down. They felt trapped even though they were walking with wobbly, weak feet.

They could almost hear her angry yelling and the door swinging shut, blocking out the light. They could feel the restricting walls around them, scraping against their elbows and feet. They felt the cockroaches and beetles crawl all over them, making them gag with the taunting prickles and wiggling. They wanted to yell, but it was lodged in a lump in their throat, heart beating faster and faster-

CLANG!

Temmie’s yelp brought them back to reality and they found themselves near the end and they sped up, the torches now more in number. Their panic attack still stayed, and they wanted it to ebb away and leave their system completely, but it refused to, only spiking when they heard heavy footfalls and an angry buzz in the air. Someone was coming and whoever it was, they weren’t friendly. Chara scrambled forward and almost fell over while biting back whimpers.

“Behind the pillar!” Temmie whispered out, his own voice shaking. “Hurry!” Chara spotted a large white column in the corner of the room, backed against a wall. It was tall enough and wide enough to cover them completely, so they ducked behind the immense structure, hunching their shoulders.

Their breathing was heavy and labored, footsteps growing closer and they suddenly felt like they were pushed into a furnace set at a blazing temperature. Gritting their teeth, they clamped a hand over their mouth to bite back a scream as a new presence entered the room.

A powerful one.

They didn’t dare to peek, only hearing the deep rumble of a man’s voice hum a tune. He walked past the pillars, then stopped, silence ensuing. Chara waited, internally wondering why his movements ceased when they caught sight of Temmie’s horrified stare while he mouthed something up at them.

Wa…er, W…r, Wa….ter. Chara furrowed their brows with confusion before their bones turned cold at the terrifying realization; their clothes were still drenched and they were dripping water everywhere. The monster must have noticed it and-

The footsteps arose once more and the two of them waited for it to fade so that they could quickly race towards their destination; but a shadow fell over them and the human child saw red and purple flash from the corner of their vision.

Heat flared up and Chara cringed, instinctively taking to their feet as a fireball blasted behind them, sending up smoke with a wicked crackle. The monster…this must be Asgore, they decided, sent another when he noticed the first one missed their mark and it struck their leg. They screamed with pain, dashing through the doorway, looking for some form of escape.

White appeared in their line of sight, a small frog monster that croaked and mewed. It looked at them for a fleeting second then disappeared under a pile of rubble that blocked the way into another room. Chara heard the footsteps behind them, slow and precise and they quickly moved to the rocks, squeezing through the hole. Temmie leapt out of their arms and pushed them to quicken their pace and when the successfully managed to cross over, he followed.

“God, he’s here…shh, keep quiet.” He stated when the light that trickled through the rubble was eclipsed by a large frame on the other side. Chara breathed in sharply, the frog monster next to them staying just as silent.

The footsteps stopped.