Recovery

Chapter Thirteen

The covers were far too cozy as Y/N burrowed her face in further.  Waking up warm and cozy instead of in a disoriented haze was always preferrable. She slowly became aware of a gentle hand stroking her arm, the fingertips of her girlfriend dancing along her side.

Rolling over, she found Wanda`s eyes barely open, still lost in the halfway space after sleep. Y/N stretched up and kissed her girlfriend`s forehead, bringing a soft smile to her face. Y/N wrapped her arms around her and snuggled closer. Wanda`s hand moved to her hair.

“I love you.”

Y/N froze.

“Every single part of you, every piece of you. On days when you`re not yourself and days when you couldn’t be more real. I want to be here with you, nowhere else I`d rather be.” Wanda finished with a kiss to the crown of Y/N`s head.

She sniffled. “I love you too. I don’t want to be a burden to you, I never want to be too much. I`m just so lucky to have you and I`m so afraid of messing this up.”

Wanda sighed and took Y/N`s face between her hands. “Nothing you could ever do would make me leave, okay? I`m in this. In whatever aspect you need me to be. I`m really proud of you for trusting me last night and I want to continue to be here for you. You`re not weird or disgusting or wrong; you deserve this after everything you`ve been through.”

The next moments passed in comfortable silence before Wanda climbed out of bed and held out her hand.

“Come on, we`ve got places to be.”

---

After her morning tea, Y/N headed back to her room. She still felt a little unbalanced from last night, trusting her family to see her like that, but was grateful that they seemed to be accepting, that no one was making it weird. Regardless, those feelings had to be pushed down because today was a very important day.

Holiday shopping.

When Y/N had brought up the idea to Wanda, her girlfriend agreed immediately to come with her. Going out shopping could be very overstimulating and overwhelming but staying inside and online shopping just didn’t feel the same during the holiday season.

There was something still so magical about going out and seeing all the decorations, the holiday atmosphere, maybe even light snowflakes dancing to the ground. And it would be even more memorable this year, having a family and a girlfriend and a place to call home.

Y/N pulled a cream oversized sweater out of her drawers, along with fawn brown corduroy belted pants. She tied her hair back with a patterned bandana and slid gold hoops in her ears. Lacing up her winter boots, she headed down the hallway to knock on Wanda`s door.

“I`m ready when you are, I`ll be down in the living room.”

Wanda joined her in a few moments, wrapping her red scarf around her girlfriend`s neck.

“And where`s your coat?”

Y/N rolled her eyes as she made her way to the coat closet. “But it’s a fashion statement, babe.”

Wanda shook her head. “And so is your coat. I don’t want you freezing.”

She was right. The cream colored coat swirled around her as they made their way out to the garage.

Driving down the road, Y/N pulled her list out from her purse. “So we need presents for just about everyone but I`m going to need help with ideas. You`ve known them longer than I have.”

Wanda smiled as she turned onto the highway. “I`m sure you`ve got at least some ideas, honey. I`m happy to help. They`re going to be from us both and I know that they`re all just excited for you to be here. Know that your dad is going to go absolutely overboard though. Stark doesn’t do simple.”

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. “That he doesn’t. Anyway, here`s what we`re looking at.”

The Great Gift Exchange

-Dad: ?

-Mama: ?

-Morgan: Build-a-Bear stuffy (already ordered, just need pickup)

-Peter: one of those fan mugs, saying Spiderboy or something cheesy and annoying

-Steve: “America`s Ass …Language” shirt (ordered) and nice flannel (still need)

-Bucky: assorted fun magnets and stickers so that his other arm can have tattoos too!

-Loki: a weighted blanket to help with anxiety (but don’t say that in front of everyone!)

-Thor: a sturdy stein so he doesn’t keep breaking glasses on team nights

-Bruce: a new hot water kettle for tea in his workroom

-Nat: apron embroidered with “Mama Spider” and little webs, etc. (already done)

-Clint: nerf bow and arrows so he stops putting holes in everyone`s walls

-Laura: embroidered hand towels w/family names and flowers (already done)

-The kids: canvas tents (ordered and on the way)

-Sam: homemade cookies?

-Dr Lia: tea sampler and mug with monkeys on it

“Explain to me how we came up with all these great ideas but I still don’t know what to get for my own parents.” Y/N groaned. They had been shopping for hours but still hadn’t found anything for Tony and Pepper.

Y/N rubbed her eyes, feeling exhausted. It was starting to get too loud and too much. She should be able to fin something for her parents; how could she not know them after all this time?

A gentle hand on her shoulder pulled her back to reality a bit.

“You okay, sunshine?” Wanda asked, leaning into her vision. Y/N blinked slowly before nodding.

“ Yeah, umm…I need…” She looked around, eventually leaning her forehead on Wanda`s shoulder. “I`m having trouble.” She murmured.

“I know, baby, you`re dissociating. Just try and hold on to me, I`ll take care of stuff, you don’t need to do the thinking right now.”

Wanda ended up picking out a very nice stationary set for Pepper, to help correspondence from her position at the head of Stark Industries whereas she found a nice watch for Tony at a small shop, one with an open face and visible working gears and cogs shifting as the watch kept time. All the while, Y/N stayed holding her hand, fading in and out of consciousness of the world around her. Wanda pulled her aside as they took their purchases to the car.

“Okay, baby, we`re almost done. We just need to go pick up Morgan`s present and then we can go home, okay? We`ll draw a nice bath and have some tea in bed, yeah? Maybe pick out a movie?”

Wanda searched Y/N`s eyes, waiting until she made eye contact and nodded, before her attention flickered away to a passing stranger.

Smiling softly, Wanda pulled her along as they headed into the toy store. Walking over to the desk, she asked for their order for pickup.

Y/N ran her fingers over the soft stuffed animals at the desk, looking over at the shelf with wide eyes. Noticing her girlfriend`s distraction, Wanda turned and observed her for a moment before tugging on her hand.

“Baby girl, do you want to make one?”

Y/N`s head snapped to her for a moment before shaking no. “N-n-no, I`m okay.”

Wanda smiled. “Because its okay if you want to, that`s perfectly normal.”

Y/N bit her lip. “Last time, I was four.”

“Well then, its about time.” Wanda said.

Y/N hesitated, then nodded. The saleslady stepped in.

“So what you can do first is go pick what kind you want from that wall over there, okay?”

Y/N looked to Wanda, as she nodded encouragingly before making her way over to the wall.

Running her hands over the animals, she paid attention to the feeling of their plush fur, trying to find the right sensory one. A soft, tan bunny caught her attention, with plush pink ears; she carefully pulled it out of the bin and turned back to her girlfriend. The saleslady led them over to the workstation and began to make the bunny, directing Y/N to pick out a scent and heart for the bunny.

Wanda gazed at her girlfriend as she clutched the heart to her chest, eyes squeezed tight, as she made her wish. A moment later and the bunny was being wrapped protectively in her arms with the most radiant smile on her face. She bounced over to Wanda.

“What`s her name, honey?”

Y/N appeared to mull it over, looking into the animal`s eyes for a moment before deciding. “Cherry.”

Wanda grinned and kissed her girlfriend`s forehead. “Well then, let`s get you and Cherry home.”

---

Wanda ushered Y/N inside, sneaking through the halls with the help of FRIDAY in order to avoid the team members. Presents were of the utmost secrecy and the Avengers were sneaky little shits; Wanda had learned that much.

In the safety of Y/N`s room, although it was quickly becoming their room, Wanda laughed to herself as Y/N curled up with a blanket cape and began introducing Cherry the bunny to the rest of her stuffed animals. She was glad to see her more lively and no longer dissociating. Even though she knew it was a typical trauma response, it still scared her to see Y/N so far into her head that she wasn’t able to respond to outside stimuli.

She smiled to her girlfriend, safe in her childlike atmosphere as she hid the presents in the closet. It wasn’t easy but Dr. Lia was certain that this was beneficial, that Y/N was making healthy progress, and that was enough for Wanda to try as hard as she could to help her girlfriend feel safe for once in her life.

Once everything was sufficiently hidden, Wanda crawled onto the bed with Y/N, who gazed up at her adoringly.

“How are we doing, love?” Wanda asked softly.

Y/N lit up. “So good! They all friends now and gonna have sleepovers and stuff.” Y/N crawled between Wanda`s legs and leaned back against her chest. Wanda quickly brought her arms up to wrap around Y/N. She tilted her head up.

“Juice and the magic candle house?” Y/N asked sweetly.

Wanda giggled. “Of course we can watch Encanto. Let`s go get our snacks.”

In the kitchen, Y/N took her instruction to be careful very seriously as she sat on the counter with Cherry, swinging her legs back and forth. Wanda made sure that Y/N`s mug was not too full, to minimize the danger of spilling, as she pulled together a plate of cookies and strawberries. Lifting her down again, they made their way to her room, bundled up and began the movie. Both quickly fell under its spell, watching together in love and comfort.