Royal Disasters

Royal Disasters

11:53 AM

mothman: can someone pls tell me

mothman: where tf link went

queenofnaps: uh normally i would know

queenofnaps: but i actually have no clue

ur so valid: did his cousin kidnap him

queenofnaps: no he was sad bc twilight had to go home yesterday

ur so valid: @ gay fish man where ur bf

gay fish man: i do not have a bf!

mothman: u expect me to believe that

gay fish man: yes!

gay fish man: i was supposed to meet up with him this morning, but he never showed up

gay fish man: i was gonna text him in a little bit but i had to get to class

queenofnaps: im concerned now i’m calling him

mothman: that is weird

ur so valid: why do you need him anyway revali

mothman: we’re working on a project together and i cannot find him anywhere

queenofnaps: do you guys even go to the same school

mothman: he’s helping me with a bio project

mothman: bc he know so much about flowers yaknow

ur so valid: that’s weird

mothman: i know! he normally is always on his phone!

ur so valid: i more so meant that the two of you are working together

ur so valid: but that’s a fair point

mothman: ok i can’t even make a comeback for that one

—

direct message queenofnaps —> twilight

12:03 PM

queenofnaps: hi where is your cousin

twilight: um nice to talk to u again too?

queenofnaps: sorry i am worried

queenofnaps: and i need to make sure he didn’t stow away in your truck

twilight: well i can see the entire interior of my truck from the drivers seat and i regularly check the back

queenofnaps: but did you check underneath the truck

twilight: i want to say he wouldn’t have but the fact that you said that instantly

queenofnaps: he would

twilight: what have you been feeding that kid?

queenofnaps: not enough therapy apparently! now pls go check

twilight: sorry i got nothing

twilight: i will let you know if i find a rabid blonde in the next few hours however

queenofnaps: DAMN IT

—

Royal Disasters

12:08 PM

queenofnaps: the cousin doesn’t have him

ur so valid: maybe he’s just having one of his days, yknow?

queenofnaps: i suppose that isn’t impossible after the emotional few days he’s had

mothman: one of his days?

queenofnaps: yknow, when he gets overwhelmed and no one can find him for a few hours and it turns out he was just wandering through hyrule forrest for a while

mothman: why did you guys let him live alone

queenofnaps: bc he prefers it idk ask my dad

gay fish man: he usually tells someone before he does that though

gay fish man: bc of the panic he has caused

bugman: i haven’t heard him in his apartment all day

bugman: and i didn’t sleep last night

queenofnaps: maybe he overslept then?

ur so valid: he’s literally an insomniac

queenofnaps: it’s not impossible

ur so valid: yeah fair

queenofnaps: im going to go check on him

—

hylias bitch babies

12:15 PM

twilight: i think i’m about to be framed for kidnapping

time: what the fuck

legend: ok i thought that was like

legend: the one rule you weren’t supposed to break when u went to meet the new link

twilight: i said fRAMED FOR KIDNAPPING

twilight: I DIDNT ACTUALLY

sky: wait did you kidnap wild

twilight: NO THATS

twilight: THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS CONVO

time: wait why would you be being framed then

twilight: zelda texted me asking if he stowed away with me bc they can’t find him

warriors: oh my god

warriors: you kidnapped a child

twilight: I DID NOT

legend: so maybe not off topic

legend: i can’t find hyrule

wind: you live there

legend: THAT JOKE WASNT FUNNY THE FIRST 50 TIMES IT WAS TOLD

time: ok is he just lost again tho

legend: probably but that’s the issue!!!!!!!!

time: ok all of you are going to give me high cholesterol

twilight: u are 35

time: nice try, not correct

twilight: damn it

sky: ok we are off topic and two people are missing

twilight: well i’m only slightly concerned rn

twilight: bc we know hyrule… wanders

legend: yea

twilight: and even tho we have only adopted wild within the last few days

twilight: zelda said he sometimes wanders too

sky: ok but what if they are hurt!

twilight: idk then we burn the forrest down and call it a day

time: what the fuck did the trees do to u

twilight: they hurt my boy

time: THE TREES DIDNT DO SHIT

warriors: WHY ARE YOU YELLING YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE CALM AND COLLECTED ONE

time: i’m defending the trees

four: a lorax joke would be too easy rn

wild: why the FUCK are we talking about trees

twilight: OK THANK GOD UR ALIVE

warriors: where the FUCK are you and have u seen hyrule

wild: uhm so

wild: no i haven’t seen hyrule we live like 20 minutes away from each other

legend: ok now i’m less relieved

wild: ANYWAY so

wild: there’s this gang that kinda doesn’t like me bc i kinda maybe bitch slapped their leader once

warriors: what

twilight: what

wild: and so maybe they tried to kidnap me but i have very deep primal instincts and fought my way to freedom

time: oh so he is twilights son

twilight: WHAT

warriors: you absolutely have said the deep primal instincts thing

wild: oh word

hyrule: omg bestie also has a gang after them?

wild: OH WORD????

sky: that should not be a common denominator

wild: shut up i hate math

legend: HYRULE WHERE. ARE YOU

hyrule: oh i was wandering then i got chased and now i think i’m in east castle town

legend: why am i having heart palpitations at age 22

hyrule: maybe bc u got struck by lightning once

sky: oh same

twilight: why are we

time: not dead?

twilight: yeah

warriors: spite

time: fair

sky: yeah

hyrule: anyways leg will u come pick me up if i give u my gps coordinates

legend: i am in the car waiting rn bitch

warriors: aww leggy has a soft spot

legend: shut up shut up shut up shut up

—

Royal Disasters

12:43

queenofnaps: @ speak up DO U HAVE SOMETHING YOUD LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE CLASS

speak up: i got to try a new boba shop last night it was really good

mothman: WHERE THE FUCK WERE U

speak up: the boba shop

queenofnaps: NO

queenofnaps: HE ALMOST GOT KIDNAPPED???????

pissbaby: again?

paya: why is that an again statement

speak up: happens sometimes idk!!!!!

speak up: anyways revali can u still meet up at like

speak up: 1:15

speak up: i don’t wanna make ur project late

mothman: yeah but do u need like

mothman: a nap or something?

speak up: oh yeah always but i’m good for now

gay fish man: link are you free at 6!!!!

speak up: mmmm yes

gay fish man: im bringing u dinner!!!!!!

speak up: OK

queenofnaps: what does it say about you that u almost got kidnapped but it literally hasn’t phased u at all

speak up: capitalism

queenofnaps: no!

mothman: no no, he has a point

ur so valid: the weirdest part about today is revali and link getting along

pissbaby: yeah

gay fish man: yeah

speak up: yeah

queenofnaps: i don’t have anything to counter that

mothman: zelda where did you and your dad find him

queenofnaps: uhhh

speak up: forrest

queenofnaps: yea

mothman: yea?

speak up: yea!!!!!

mothman: i cannot describe to you in words how this knowledge makes me feel

speak up: :)