the phases of the moon

It began with a telescope.

It was the day before Kataraʻs eighteenth birthday, the day that marked her becoming a woman. The most important day of her life. At least, thatʻs what Gran Gran had told her. Gran Gran had always been one for dramatics, always letting her know the day before her birthday exactly what age she was leaving behind, telling her to savour it like it was her last. In all honesty, Katara had felt the same as she always had.

As she worked on patching up the seal skin cloth of Mikiʻs home, she had pondered what it meant to be grown up. She was the chief's daughter, she already had her fair share of responsibilities. There wasnʻt a single moment where she wasnʻt helping someone else in her village. Katara attended every village meeting, went with the other men to hunt for food, negotiated with the other tribes for resources, and delivered more babies than she could count on one hand.  As far as she was concerned, she carried her own weight and more. There were often days where she was laying in her cot as the sun barely set, already asleep from the exhaustion.

“Well,” Katara had thought to herself as she tied off the knot of the string, “thatʻs not the only reason.”

You see, Katara could never quite sleep throughout the night. Itʻd been a problem since she was a little girl. Every night, sheʻd wake up before everyone else did, bothering her beleaguered older brother and her slightly more patient father to keep her company. It was especially difficult after she had realized her potential for both waterbending and troublemaking. If Katara was awake everyone was awake.

Thankfully, her mother, Kya, was more than happy to take care of her daughter before the sun rose.  Sheʻd carry her excitable daughter out into the tundra, guided by the light of the full moon and the stars. Sometimes, Kya would help her practice her waterbending under the full moon. Sometimes, they would just sit there and look at the stars together. In the silence of the night, the bright lights of the stars would shine in Kataraʻs dark brown eyes, and she would ask questions.

“Momma, where did the moon go?”

“The moonʻs there, itʻs just hiding.”

“Is the moon too shy?”

“No, itʻs just that the moon rotates around the earth, so sometimes the sun-“

“But it's dark out, the sun went to sleep.”

“Katara, you have to listen. The sunʻs still awake, just somewhere else in the world. The earth spins around and the moon rotates around it, and the sunlight hits it differently, so sometimes it makes a shadow so we canʻt see it.”

“Oooooooh...Thatʻs cool.”

“I know, right?”

“Are the stars and the moon friends?”

Of course, her questions got more inquisitive as she got older, questions that Kya didnʻt always know the answer to. So, naturally, Katara would find any opportunity to get star maps, books, scrolls about space, learn about the planets and eclipses and constellations. And then sheʻd take them out there with her mother, just to study the night sky.

The love for astronomy that had blossomed from a simple case of insomnia was so strong that sheʻd continue to go, even after Kya...

Katara shook her head. Today wasnʻt the day for morbid thoughts. There were more things to do than daydream.

And yet, there was something else to her love of beyond what she could see in the night sky.

Something she coulnʻt quite put her finger on.

__

Just as she continued her activities for the day, gathering the fish from the traps sheʻd set along the shoreline, she could swear that Katara knew that there was something wrong. Despite the fact that sheʻd just set these yesterday, the fish that had swum into them looked like they were weeks old, already horrible and rotten. She gagged as she emptied out the traps, making mental notes to start setting them somewhere else.

Then...she heard a sound.

Katara.

It had nearly made Katara jump out of her own skin. She stood still, trying not to make any sudden movements, but standing firm.

Katara.

“Hello?” She called out, looking around her for the source of the noise, “Gran Gran? Miki?”

No, that wasnʻt right, it wasnʻt coming from the village. But then, where was it coming from?

After a few minutes of standing still with no action, Katara shrugged to herself. She was willing to accept she was hearing things, with as often that she heard her name being shouted by her father and practically every neighbor who needed an extra hand, it wouldnʻt have shocked her to know sheʻd imagined it.

Then, came a distinctly different noise, almost like a howl, coming from out in the water.

She squinted out towards the horizon and saw something heading right her way. As it came closer and closer, she could make out the shape of it.

“What on earth-“

It was a boat. From the looks of it, it was approaching quickly.

The voice once again boomed from the distance, but now she could hear what it was saying

“WATER TRIIIIIIIIIBE REP-RE-SEEEEEEEEEEEEENT!”

She let out a deep sigh.

Sokka.

It looked to be a boat made for high winds and fast paces, not one that she recognized. She could see Sokka, in the distance, hanging off the side of the sail, that wide grin she was all too familiar with, with a girl working the rudder, yelling something indistinct. Sokka looked at her and waved his hand at her.

“HEEEEEEY! ITʻS THE BIRTHDAY GIRL!! SUKI, SUKI THATS KATARA, THATS MY BABY SISTER!”

“Sokka! You have to stay in the boat,” yelled the girl, presumably Suki.

Katara stood on the shoreline, burying her flushed face in her hands. Sokka was home and already on a joyride with his new girlfriend. He was home for all of two seconds and he was already embarrassing her.

“HEY KATARA!” He screamed, sloppily maneuvering the sailboat, “THIS IS SUKI.”

“Oh no kidding,” Katara mumbled as she tossed the traps aside to make sure Sokka could dock on the shoreline. He did not take the opportunity, still shouting at her from the boat on the water as Suki clumsily handled the rudder.

“SHEʻS MY GIRLFRIEND!!! THE ONE I TOLD YOU ABOUT!!!”

“For the love of-“ Katara sighed in annoyance, “YEAH! I FIGURED!”

“SHEʻS A KYOSHI WARRIOR!! ISNʻT THAT SO COOL?!?!”

“Sokka! Just land the-“

“WHAAAT?” He used his free hand to cup his ear, “I CANʻT HEAR YOU!!”

“DOCK THE BOAT BEFORE YOU-“

SPLASH

“.....fall out.”

She sighed and waded into the ice cold water, directing Suki on where to dock, and trying to find where Sokka had fallen. It wasnʻt long before she found her brother, completely drenched and floating face-up in the water, his eyes closed and his tongue hanging out of his mouth.

“Are you dead?” Katara asked incredulously, crossing her arms.

“Yes,” he responded, not even bothering to open his eyes, “youʻre going to have to tell our father to make a funeral pyre.”

“I could just bury you at sea. You know, to save the coal.”

Sokka opened one eye, eyeing his sister up. With a swift move of his hand, he moved his arm to splash her, catching her off guard enough to cover her from head to toe with water.

Katara smirked, making a quick motion with her hand to create a wave, and, before Sokka could even have time to scream, sent him crashing into the shoreline. He landed face down, right next to an amused Suki.

“Touche,” his muffled voice called out.

Despite herself, Katara smiled.

__

Hakoda and the entire village was ecstatic to see Sokka once again. Heʻd managed to surprise everyone, showing up the day before Kataraʻs birthday. Heʻd left home about a year and a half earlier, to go and study in the city of Ba Sing Se. Katara and Hakoda had gotten letters from Sokka, about the people he was meeting, the things he was learning, and what the city was like. Many hugs, comparisons of growth, and questions of his travels.

Suki managed to get along with everyone in the village quickly, bowing her head when introducing herself to Hakoda and Gran Gran, laughing with the other women, and even managing to play and get along with the children in the village. According to Sokka, she was originally from the Island of Kyoshi, not Ba Sing Se, where gaggles of children watched the Kyoshi Warriors train. Suki had been assigned as the Earth King's guards along with her fellow warriors, when Sokka had spotted her in the library.

“I was so surprised to see a real life Kyoshi warrior,“ Sokka said, as they recounted running into each other over dinner.

“You didnʻt think I was a real life Kyoshi warrior,” Suki corrected him, taking a bite of the seal meat, “you told me that my costume wasnʻt historically accurate and then started .”

“Well-“

“Then I told you that I was a real life Kyoshi warrior, and you didnʻt believe me.”

“I was a little skep-”

“And then I told you that if you wanted proof that I was a Kyoshi Warrior, you could meet me outside. Which you actually did.”

“Did you kick his butt?” Katara asks, grinning wickedly.

“Kataraaa!” Sokka exclaimed, sinking into the floor. Despite being a fully grown adult, he was still her whiny older brother. It was something Katara didnʻt know she missed until it was right in front of her once again, then she couldnʻt have imagined life without Sokka.

“Well, did you?” Gran Gran asked, sipping on her sea prune broth.

“Big time,” Suki said, clearly trying to contain her laughter.

Gran Gran let out a soft chuckle as Hakoda respectfully nodded at Suki, giving her a low high five. Kataraʻs father was always one to respect a warrior, no matter where they came from.

“How does my family already like you better than me?” Sokka bemoaned, making a pouty face as he leaned against Suki.

“You make it too easy,” Katara retorted.

“So how did you react to getting your butt kicked, Sokka?” Hakoda prodded, eyeing his son up.

“Well,” Sokka said, running his fingers through his thick, dark locks, “I knew that she was undeniably better than I was and, the very next day, when I saw her in the city, I got on my knees and told her it would be I would be humbled and honored for her to teach me the ways of a great warrior as herself.”

“And the rest is history,” Suki said as Sokka rested his arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek.

“Attaboy,” Hakoda said, his eyes gleaming, “a warrior learns best when he sets his pride aside. Iʻm glad you were able to knock some sense into him, Suki.”

“Reminds me of another spitfire young man,” Gran Gran said, eyeing Hakoda, who smiled as he shook his head in disbelief. As if to say “oh brother, not this again”

“Oh really?” Suki said, leaning in, “whatʻs the story there?”

Gran Gran was more than eager to talk about the escapades of her son in law, but Katara heard the story of how her parentʻs had met over a thousand times. Her father was a big hotshot and the chief's son who wanted nothing more than to impress her mother, a hot headed girl from the next village over. Their villages were constantly arguing with one another over resources and hunting grounds, Kya and Hakoda included. When they were teens, there was a constant rivalry between the two of them, always competing to see who was the better hunter.

“Kya was constantly trying to thwart your father,” Gran Gran recounted, relishing in the nostalgia, “if he rose at sunrise to get to the hunting grounds, sheʻd be there at dawn.”

“Your mother was ruthless,” Suki whispered to Katara.

“Oh yeah,” Katara said, blowing the steam off of her tea as she took another sip.

“Well,” Gran Gran continued, “Kya came to my home one day, this poor thing on her shoulder just barely clinging onto life.”

“What had happened?” Suki asked, fully invested in the story.

“We were arguing with one another,” Hakoda answered, pulling back his shirt collar to show a giant scar on his chest, “and attracted the attention of a polar bear dog. I was an arrogant fool and thought I could fight it off.”

“Bah!” Gran Gran exclaimed, “he saved your mothers life is what he did! Heʻd tried to fight it off to give her a chance to escape!”

“Either way,” Hakoda said, re-adjusting his shirt “Kya stood her ground, managing to scare it away, and nursed me back to health. We got to know each other more in the period where I was recovering and that's when I knew.”

“That you loved mom?” Sokka asked, despite the fact that he very well knew the answer.

“That I would never want to fight without her by my side,” Hakoda said, his eyes, dark as the night sky, twinkled.

Itʻd been a long time since Katara had heard that story.

“Cheers to that,” Katara said, holding up her cup. Everyone clinked their glasses together and drank, letting the warm tea lift their spirits.

“So, Katara,” Suki leaned over, “any plans for your birthday tomorrow.”

“Oh you know,” she said, shrugging, “same old, same old. Iʻve got so many things on my plate tomorrow.”

“What?” Suki had a look of surprise on her face, “youʻre not gonna celebrate your birthday?”

“The world doesnʻt stop spinning just because I was born eighteen years ago,” Katara said.

“Come on Katara,” Sokka encouraged, “isnʻt there something you wanna do? A special someone you want to be around?”

Katara rolled her eyes and chuckled. “Iʻve got no time for a boyfriend, if thatʻs what your implying. I canʻt have my head in the clouds.”

“Youʻve certainly got your eyes on the stars,” Hakoda said, smiling at his daughter.

Katara blushed.

“Sokka told me about that,” Suki smiled at Katara, “he said you were trying to chart every star in the sky.”

“Weell,” Katara rubbed the back of her neck, “you canʻt really chart every star in the sky. There are more out there than anyone really knows.”

And then she spent the night talking about the stars. About how distant they are, how weʻre only seeing them at the end of their life. About polaris and the big dipper and the names of all the stars she knew. About how the planets aligned, about lunar eclipses. And when Suki asked Katara about why she was so interested in astronomy, Katara didnʻt tell her about her mother.

Katara didnʻt tell her about the small, intimate moments she shared with her mother, how they would look up at the sky and Katara felt as if it was only the two of them in the whole world. Katara didnʻt tell Suki that when Kya had died, Katara would sit alone on the snowbank, holding the necklace that her mother had left her and closing her eyes.

That sometimes, she wondered if her mother was like the phases of the moon, still there, but just hidden, and all she had to do was wait until the full moon came again.

Katara didnʻt talk about those small moments where she would look up at the big, bright, beautiful moon and feel as though it was calling to her. That there was something more in that vastness of space. That the moonlight sometimes made her feel warm in the depths of winter and her own grief. As if it were calling to her, as if it was lonely. As lonely as she had been.

How sometimes, she woke up, feeling as if a string wanted to pull her away from the earth and into the clouds. It was fueling this passion of her, feeding into something deeper and stronger than even Katara could comprehend.

Instead, she just told Suki that she thought the stars were pretty.

__

“Katara.”

It was a voice calling to her. Soft, nearly indistinct. 

Katara could swear that she could see waning moonlight through a crack in her wall. She could hear...whispering. She reached out her hand

“Hello?”

“Katara?” Came a different voice from behind her,

She rubbed her eyes and turned around, her vision adjusting to the darkness. It was Sokka, his hair tied back and a bag slung around his shoulder. He was gently trying to shake her awake. She pushed him off of her and sat at the edge of the cot.

“What was that about?” He asked.

“I thought...” she looked around, “didnʻt you hear that?”

“Hear what?” Sokka tilted his head.

Katara looked back, no light that she could see. 

“I just thought I heard something,” she said, “Why are you-”

Sokka was quick to shush her.

“Come on, get up,” Sokka told her, “I want to show you something.”

“Now?”

“Yes now.”

He seemed insistent, Katara was in no mood to argue with him. She was probably gonna be up at this time anyway.

“Alright,” she moaned, getting out of bed, “let me get dressed at least.”

“Meet me outside,” Sokka instructed.

Throwing a fur coat over her night gown and washing her face, she walked out of her home to see Sokka, heading towards the shoreline. Katara began speedwalking to keep up with him.

“So what are we-“

“Shhh!” Sokka shushed her, placing a finger on her lips, “itʻs a surprise.”

__

Katara didnʻt ask questions. Not when they reached his boat, nor when she assisted him in letting the boat set sail and lighting the lantern resting inside the boat. She did not ask where they were going or why it needed to be in the dead of night. Even as her village looked smaller and smaller as they sailed out, she asked no questions, simply took in the view.

Sokka finally anchored, far away into the ocean, the village being far gone, nothing but icebergs along the ocean. Katara stared at her reflection in the water, the light of the crescent moon and stars shined against her brown skin, her dark eyes surrounded by bags and smile lines, her hair hanging loose and free in the cool breeze.

“If your plan was to commit familicide,” Katara snarked, “you shouldnʻt have made it so suspicious.”

“Trust me,” Sokka said, tying off the rope, “I learned my lesson: donʻt pick a fight with a waterbending prodigy in the ocean.”

“Then why are we out here?”

Sokka walked around the boat, sitting right across from her. He pulled out a box from the bag and presented it to Katara. Inside the box were sweet looking tarts and cakes. Kataras smiled as Sokka pulled out a little candle and lit it with the fire from the lantern, humming the “Happy Birthday” song.

“Itʻs midnight,” Sokka held the candle out to her, “make a wish.”

Katara closed her eyes and blew out the candle, the smoke rising into the cold air. She reached for a tart and dug in. The sweet, fruity taste of the thick filling mixed with the airy, sugary texture of the dough made Katara feel as though her soul left her body. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head as she let out a “mmmm”

“Where did you get these?” Katara said, reaching for another one.

“They make it on Kyoshi island,” Sokka said, taking another bite of his own, “we stopped by on our trip here. Suki wanted to bring you some for your birthday.”

“Thank you Suki,” Katara said as she took another bite.

“There's one more thing,” Sokka said, rubbing his hands together, “but you gotta close your eyes.”

Katara placed the box of pastries down next to her and shut her eyes. She could hear Sokka rustling and struggling with something made of metal as he sloppily maneuvered around the boat. Katara turned her head towards the noise.

“Are you-“

“I'm fine, I'm fine,” Sokka insisted, “just give me a second, it's harder to set up than it looks.”

After a few sounds of struggling, she heard Sokka let out a triumphant sigh.

“Okay,” he said, “open your eyes.”

Katara did as he said and immediately gasped. “Oh, Sokka.”

It was a telescope.

A beautiful telescope stood on three legs. It was large and a deep shade of purple, with lines of purple and silver etched into the sides and the stand. Its lens was large, unlike any rinky dink handheld one sheʻd owned before. Kataraʻs eyes lit up as she stood up and examined it, tracing her fingers along the lines, the fine craftsmanship, finally settling on the wave symbol on the side of it. It was the same as the necklace she had around her own neck. She looked at Sokka.

“Is this-“

“From the North Pole.” He said, beaming with pride, “I saw someone selling it in one of the shops and I knew that you had to have it.”

“Oh my goodness. This must have cost a fortune,” Katara gasped.

“Naaah,” Sokka dismissively waved it off, “donʻt even mention it.”

There was a slight pause.

“Okay, you can mention it a little,” Sokka said.

Katara threw her arms around her brother and hugged him as tightly as she could.

“Thank you.”

“Youʻre welcome.”

Sokka let go of her and gestured to the telescope, knowing she was eager to give it a spin. Katara lifted her skirt and walked over to the telescope, leaning down into the turned part of the telescope to look out of it. Already, she could see much more clearly into the night sky, being able to more clearly see the constellations in the sky. She had only wished that she had brought her notebook with her, so she could more accurately map the sky.

“Super cool, right?” Sokka prodded.

Katara didnʻt even look up from the telescope as she nodded.

“So, Katara,” Sokka said, “Iʻve been meaning to ask you something...”

Beginning to tune her brother out, Katara adjusted her telescope, admiring the stars. It was as if the sky was a dark blue sheet, pulled against the world, and they were little pinpricks of light. She could easily identify the curve of the Scorpion-Bee constellation, and the Crouching Warrior.  It hit Katara with a deeply...familiar feeling.

Katara saw that there would be clouds, wondering if it was going to rain soon. Sheʻd hope that she could just stare out for a little while longer.

“..and you know Suki and I really think youʻd thrive,” Sokka continued, oblivious to his sister's disinterest.

“Uh-huh.”

“So, what do you think?”

Katara kept her eyes on the stars, and the clouds starting to form. “What do I think of what?”

“Leaving.”

Katara looked up from the telescope and back at her brother, who leaned forward expectantly.

“What?” She stared at him in shock.

“Leaving here,” he told her, “going out into the world, pursuing your own dreams, making a life for yourself.”

Katara wasnʻt even sure what to say. 

“Why would I leave?”

“Why woudnʻt you leave?” He asked her, “you have spent your whole life on this little block of ice. Theres a whole world out there you havenʻt even seen yet. Arenʻt you curious about it?”

“I-” she shook her head, “I canʻt”

She could feel a little drizzle of rain begin to form. Sokka used his jacket to cover his head.

“Sure you can,” Sokka said nonchalantly, “we could pack up your clothes tomorrow, make sure we have enough food for the journey, get you signed up for school-”

“Sokka,” Katara stood up, “I canʻt just up and leave.”

Katara could hear a low rumble in the distance, but neither of them paid it any mind.

Sokka eyed his sister. “I mean, you just need some time to pa-”

“I donʻt need time to pack,” Katara began to raise her voice and ball her fists, the sky grew darker, “I have responsibilities, I have a duty to our family, our people.”

“Dad will still be here, Katara, you donʻt have to-.”

“Iʻm not going to just shrug off and leave when I could be helping others,” Kataras face was starting to get hot, the cold wind was starting to wrap around her, blowing her her hair along with it, “not all of us can just disappear whenever we feel like it.”

“Whatʻs that supposed to mean?” Sokkaʻs voice started to get higher as he got up in Kataraʻs face.

“I think you know perfectly well what I-”

Before Katara could even finish her sentence-

“NO!”

It was a sound that could pierce through the heavens, and it was enough to halt the siblings' argument.

“What was that?” Sokka asked, looking around them.

Katara gasped as she saw it, holding onto her brother's shoulder and pointing. Right there, in the distance, she could see a ball of white light falling from the sky. It burned so brightly that it almost hurt to look at it. And yet, Katara could not look away.

“Is that....a comet?” Sokka backed away from where he was standing

“No,” Katara said, sitting right next to the telescope, “weʻre not due for one until six months from now. It canʻt be a comet.”

“Whatever the hell it is,” Sokka said, hurriedly pulling the anchor up, “I donʻt want to be close to it when it hits the water.”

Katara turned the telescope towards the ball of light and looked right into it, adjusting it to see what it could possibly be. If it was a comet or a meteorite of some kind, she couldnʻt be blamed for her curiosity. After all, it wasnʻt every day that something like this happened, Katara had seen nary a shooting star in all of her time staring at the sky. 

As the lens adjusted, the picture became clearer and clearer, Katara gasped.

“Thatʻs not a comet.”