Fireproof

It took them 6 months. 6 months of bouncing between the cheapest of hotel rooms and homeless shelters, begging, finagling, and stealing but here they were - victorious in the cheapest apartment in the worst part of the city. The landlord was definitely on crack, the walls were thin, and the floors had some mysterious stains but there was no place that Klaus could possibly love more in this moment.

“Smell that, Benny boy?” Klaus inhaled deeply and closed his eyes, “It smells like- “

“Mold?”

Klaus cracked one eye open, “Home! It smells like home!”

He sniffed again, “And mold. Yeah, just a little like mold. But it’s okay! This is just the start!” Klaus was spinning lightly in the middle of the living room (?) like he was in the sound of music.

The one bedroom apartment consisted of a small living space indistinguishable from the floor of the kitchen, one small bedroom with a small closet that someone had definitely died in and a bathroom that you could barely turn around in; It did have one of those old cast iron tubs, however, and Klaus was excited to scrub out some of the weird rust stains and take a proper bath.

“We need to take stock of what we have.” Ben reminded him, pulling him out of his fantasies.

Klaus put his hands down and pouted, “If I do this stupid list will you let me enjoy my new place for the rest of the night?”

“Sure.”

“Fine! It’s not like it’s going to take very long…” Klaus moved the few feet to the kitchen, he grabbed the lease and flipped it over to the blank side and fished out a pen he had stolen from the landlord.

He glanced over to where Kenzie was rolling around on a baby blanket set up in the corner of the kitchen, “You good, muffin?”

She was distracted by her set of plastic keys that Klaus had stolen from a thrift shop two days ago so she didn’t even acknowledge him. He shrugged and glanced at Ben, “Seems fine.”

He settled on the floor in the corner where the kitchen sink met the stove and placed the paper on his knees. Ben sat on the stove and looked down over his shoulder, “Okay, lets just list what we own and then we can start figuring out what we need. “

Their list consisted of:

Apartment (1 month)
Baby Blanket (2)
Baby mattress
Teddy bear
Plastic keys
Alphabet Blocks (3)
Baby formula
Box of diapers (2)
Baby clothes (10)
Blanket (adult)
Pillow
Cigarettes (1 pack)
Bob Marley lighter (1)

Klaus sighed and looked over his work, “I think that’s everything… And we have 3 dollars left!” He tugged out three crumbled bills from his waistband and kissed them proudly. Ben grimaced.

“I really wish you would have bought food for yourself instead of those damn cigarettes.” Ben bemoaned.

Klaus threw his hands up, “It’s the only thing I have left! Will you get off my ass about that? Would you prefer I had gotten some crack?”

“You haven’t eaten today!”

“If it’s not one thing, it's another with you, Casper!”

Ben smacked his brother in the head with his foot, just hard enough to annoy him and cause him to slap upwards in retaliation. They both looked up at the sound of an upset hiccup and saw Kenzie staring at them, her face screwed up; she tossed her keys onto the tile floor. She looked around in confusion suddenly realizing that they were no longer in her hand - then she started wailing loudly.

“See what you did - you’ve upset the snuggle bean.” Klaus chided and clumsily uncurled himself and stood up, his knees cracking in protest.

“Listen, listen - Easy fix, cupcake - don’t you even worry..” He moved towards her but when he was a couple feet from where she was laying her entire body spontaneously erupted into a ball of flames.

Klaus and Ben let out screams that would make a final girl in an 80s slasher movie blush. Klaus stumbled backwards screaming and pulling at his face, he tumbled into the opposite corner with a thud - “WHAT THE SHIT!?” His voice was high pitched and hysterical.

As he said this the flames covering her skin magically disappeared and her face lit up - apparently amused by the horrified expression on her father’s face and the squeal that just escaped his mouth. She giggled and stuffed her fist in her mouth with a coo; kicking her legs around.

She was entirely unharmed, even the onesie and her diaper seemed completely untouched by the flames. The floor and blanket around her, however, were still partially on fire.

The fire alarm started to beep obnoxiously as the smoke lifted towards the ceiling. Klaus could barely comprehend anything through the blood rushing through his ears. He was staring at his baby, trembling with his jaw hanging open in shock. Ben acted first, jumping up and ripping the alarm off the wall.

At the same time neighbors all around them started shouting at them to “Shut the fuck up!” , “Quiet, Asshole!” and one lady in particular right above their heads started beating on her floor with something to shut them up.

Kenzie’s face screwed up at the yelling and the clatter as Ben’s corporeal nature vanished and he dropped what was left of the fire alarm. The plastic pieces shattered to the floor.

Klaus dove forward as her face turned red, “No, no, no, no, no - Shhh.. Shh.. Don’t cry- for the love of fuck please don’t cry…” He was blubbering, waving his hands around in a goofy way attempting to distract her from the angry neighbors.

Ben was on his stomach a second later next to his brother, shifting in and out of being corporeal - “It’s okay! See?!” Ben grabbed Klaus’ face with both hands and squished it comically, making an exaggerated happy face as he did so. He squashed his brother's cheeks up and down until he was making a silly fish face; Klaus leaned into the bit and crossed his eyes.

They paused in that position for a moment until her little face softened into an amused smile and the angry sounds turned to a confused giggle as she clapped her hands together. Ben cautiously un-squished Klaus’ face and collapsed to the tile floor, fading away from view.

Klaus reached a tentative hand out and lightly touched the baby’s hand, he pulled back quickly “Her skin is hot…”

“Yeah, no shit - She was on fire two seconds ago!” Ben snapped in a hushed tone.

“What? She burst into flames? I hadn’t noticed - thanks for the freaking update!”

She pouted and reached for him as he pulled his hand away and crawled to his knees; staring dumbfounded at the infant. She squirmed, opening and closing her tiny hands wanting to be picked up.

Klaus felt his heart melt a little. He was afraid but she didn’t understand that, she didn’t understand that she could have hurt him. She was just a baby and she was confused as to why no one was cuddling her after her tantrum.

He extended his arms and picked her up. He ignored the intense heat that shot through his shirt and made his skin sting.

“Klaus. Be careful.”

Klaus glanced at his brother in acknowledgement but pulled the infant to his chest and hugged her, rocking gently back and forth. His technique suggested that he was cuddling a baby; The look on his face implied that he was holding a bomb.

“She’s my daughter, Ben - What am I supposed to do? She didn’t mean to…”

He began to hum lightly, a strange off tune melody - after a few moments he began to sing in a hushed, shaky voice.

“ ~ Go to sleep.
Go to sleep
What the hell
just happened?
I don’t know
Have sweet dreams
Of ice
And snow
And frozen rivers low
Go to sleep
Go to sleep
Tiny demon
Momma loves you so… ~”

Klaus used one hand to frantically gesture for the baby mattress which Ben scrambled to bring from the next room. He continued to hum for several minutes as Kenzie drifted off to sleep, happily cooing off and on against his chest. When it seemed like she was out he softly placed her on the mattress and pulled her little blanket (The black one that she arrived from hell in) around her body. He tucked in her teddy bear next to her right arm.

He didn’t look at his brother, he only turned to the side and stood up. He picked up the blanket that she had been laying on previously and held it up. The cute yellow and pink elephant pattern was now marred by a Kenzie shaped, smoldering hole in the middle. It was still smoking slightly.

He moved to the sink and started the faucet; soaking the burnt fabric in the cool water. When he spoke his voice was high-pitched and trembling.

“Ben, correction… We have one baby blanket…”