Fireproof

“So she can light on fire – I can see the dead, Luther can crush peoples skulls. Big whoop, we’ve dealt with superpowers our whole life…” Klaus said, unconvincingly while he huddled next to the kitchen window with a cigarette hanging from his fingers. He took a deep puff of nicotine and blew it out into the outside air. He was staring intently at where Kenzie was sleeping on her mattress in the other room.

Ben sat on the counter, his legs swinging idly as his mind worked through their current situation. The night before Kenzie had burst into flames marking maybe the most surprising and terrifying moment either of them had experienced (and they’d both died!). After an hour of angry whispering and panicking Klaus still ended up on the tile floor with his pillow, curled up around his daughter because she slept through the night as long as she was with her father.

Ben had stayed up and watched her sleep, making plans that he would have to tell Klaus in the morning. His brother’s arms and face were so close to her and if something were to wake her up there was just no telling how badly she could burn him.

“Yeah, but none of us had any powers this—destructive. Except maybe me.” Then he added seriously, “Thank god you didn’t leave her at the station…”

“’God’s’ got nothing to do with this.” Klaus pointed his free hand at his brother, “She’s probably up there laughing at me and my spontaneously combusting baby as we speak.”

She stirred in her sleep and both men jumped. “She’s going to wake up anytime time – she’ll be—”

Klaus took one last puff of his cigarette and closed the window, he waved absently at his brother, “Yeah, yeah, I’m getting her food now.” He walked to the fridge and started to get her formula ready. “Maybe she just- goes all human torch when she’s angry? That’s manageable, right?”

“Yeah, except for the fact that she’s an infant and she gets upset at everything. And she’s already a clingy, fussy baby – which she definitely gets from you, by the way.” Then he added quickly, “She’s up.”

Klaus moved past his brother, giving him a nervous glance then got to his knees and laid his head down against her mattress until he was eye level with her face. “Mornin’ Bitsy-boo.” He smiled and when she turned over her face lit up and she cooed, kicking her legs out.

“Gah!”

Klaus moved over and kissed her cheek a few times adding loud “Mwah!” sounds with each peck and she giggled. He moved down and kissed her belly before scooping her up, “Someone’s stinky-stinky!” He announced.

His hands glowed blue as he stood up and Ben looked down at himself as he became corporeal. He rolled his eyes but let his brother dump the baby in his arms. He laid her down on the counter and started to change her diaper.

“So, we’re just going to pretend like nothing’s wrong?”

“What do you want me to do, Ben? Start treating her like a monster?”

Ben tossed the dirty diaper into the trash can, “No – but we need to do something, if something happens while you’re… at work… then what can I really do to stop her from burning the building down? Sometimes you’re too far away to keep me corporeal. And the fire doesn’t hurt her but smoke might. And If something collapses on her she could be really hurt..”

Klaus had gotten a part time job at an occult shop nearby, it was perfect because not only did Klaus’ notoriety in communing with the dead help his reputation there, but they also let him bring Kenzie. The shop was owned by two lovely women who had been one of the few people who were willing to give Klaus a chance.

However, it certainly didn’t pay enough to keep a roof over their heads, so Klaus did sex work on the side, they were in a bad area and it was particularly dangerous, but it paid the bills. It was something he did a lot in the past, but back then all the money would go towards drugs.

Usually, if he could Klaus would just leave Kenzie with Ben and if he had to go out further, they would ask Miss. Perry or Miss. Hayworth from the occult shop to babysit.

“If someone can’t safely watch her then how are you going to make enough money to keep living here?”

Klaus slumped against the counter childishly, he shrugged, “I don’t know!” His voice was whiny and strung out.

He rubbed his face and mumbled “I need a cigarette.”

“You just had one.”

“I need another one!” He snapped back.

Instead of lighting up another cigarette Klaus pulled the clean infant off the counter and started to feed her, bouncing her lightly against his chest. He glanced up at his brother who had started to smile absently, “I can see the ghost wheels turning- pray tell what’s got you in such a good mood?”

“I’ve got an idea.” Ben announced.

*******************************************

“This is a terrible idea. They’re going to throw me in a psych ward and call CPS who will then have to call the FBI who will probably call Reginald!” Klaus whispered to his brother through clenched teeth. They were standing in front of a fire station while Kenzie jabbered away happily on Klaus’ hip.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because I’m hoping that before that happens some sexy firefighter will sweep me off my feet! Preferably one that’s shirtless and sweaty.”

“Just go inside, you horny bastard.”

“That’s what she-“

“Stop talking to me! You’ll definitely be thrown in a psych ward if you keep talking to the air with a baby on your hip.”

Klaus huffed but went inside the station, the office area was disconnected from the truck dock; it was empty and quiet.

“Look, fireproof blankets. Those’ll come in handy.” Ben said softly, as if anyone would be able to hear him.

“Hm.”

“Hello.”

Klaus jumped and whipped around to see a tall woman in jeans and a black shirt with the cities fire department sewn on the chest. She had long brown hair that was in tight braids down her shoulders and a soft face with dark eyes. She also had biceps so impressive that Klaus kind of hoped she would have to pick him up and carry him to safety at some point. Or choke him to death. Either would be fine.

“Sophie Alvarez. I’m the fire chief. How can I help you?” She shook his hand and it only hurt a lot.

He shook out his fingers “Hi! Yes – um- We – I mean, I—”

Ben leaned over, “Tell her you have to discuss a public fire concern and would like to speak in private.” He dictated a few feet away.

“Yes.?” She prompted, now looking on guard.

Klaus cringed, “Ahh… My baby can light herself on fire. I need help.”

The woman blinked.

Ben pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned loudly.

“Okay?”

“Listen!” Klaus moved forward and she took a step back, glancing at Kenzie. Ben could see her mind working out a way to get the baby away from this lunatic without anybody getting hurt. “My name is Klaus Hargreeves. I’m one of those weird superpowered babies from the 90s, remember?” He fished in his pocket and pulled out an ID, handing it to her with a shaky hand.

She took it and looked it over, her eyebrow arched, “Okay?”

“And- And, I had my own baby, see?” He gestured to Kenzie, “And she has superpowers too! Yay me, right? Anyway, sometimes she just combusts!” He made a little explosion gesture with his hand, “And I need help so she doesn’t burn my building down – I just paid the rent!”

“I’m not on drugs anymore.” He added needlessly with a proud smile. Ben walked over and smacked his head against a beam.

To her credit she remained perfectly stoic, even straightening her back and inspecting him with concern. “I’ve heard of you.” She smiled and reached out a hand, “She’s very cute, do you mind if I hold her?”

Klaus glanced over his shoulder to his invisible dead brother, “She thinks I’m a crackhead.” He hissed.

“Because you’re acting like one!”

Klaus turned back to the fire chief, “No, you’re not understanding me – she might burst into flames. She might hurt you!”

Alvarez put her palms up placatingly, “That’s fine. I understand.” She gestured to the floor, “Do you want to set her down? Maybe she can show me? And then we can talk – I’m sure you love her very much.”

“She doesn’t believe you; she’s thinks you’re on drugs. And if you’re not careful she’s probably going to taze you when you put Kenzie down.”

Klaus turned around, “You think I don’t know that!?” He whispered. Loudly. Through clenched teeth to the empty space behind him.

Ben threw his hands up in defeat, “You know what? I hope she tazes you.”

“I’m not on drugs! I promise!”

“I don’t think you’re on drugs, I think that maybe you’re just going through a hard time.” Her voice was soft and soothing.

Klaus sighed and nodded, “I am.” He huffed in a whiny tone.

“Klaus, put her down and then make me corporeal. Let me talk to her.” Ben moved next to his brother.

Klaus looked between Ben and Alvarez for a moment, then addressed the fire chief, “Hey, so my brother wants to talk to you. I’ll put her down but please don’t taze me, bro.”

She nodded and flashed a fake, professional smile, “I promise I just want to talk to you.”

Klaus carefully set the baby down on the concrete floor, she looked around and grabbed her foot. She made a little sound of protest but otherwise didn’t seem to react. He let his hands glow blue and Alvarez actually took a step backwards in surprise.

As soon as Ben became corporeal, he stomped down on his brother’s foot; Klaus yelped loudly, “What the hell, asshole!” He snapped in a high-pitched tone grabbing his ‘injured’ extremity and hopping backwards.

As if on cue, Kenzie’s little face screwed up and she let out a wail, as her cry hit a crescendo the air around her burst into scorching flames. Thankfully, she wasn’t around anything flammable so nothing else caught on fire.

Alvarez screamed; which, to be fair, is really the only logical reaction when babies light themselves on fire. She stumbled backwards as they were hit with a wave of heat and grabbed a fire extinguisher off the wall. She pointed it at the infant and then doused the flames away, the water killed the fire but didn’t seem to touch the baby who remained on the floor crying.

Klaus rushed over and picked her up, he cringed as the contact with her skin left red marks on his hands and arms. “Oh no! Uncle Ben’s a big ol’ meanie!”

Ben moved over and put a hand on the infant’s back, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt him, promise!” he said in a baby voice. In a sign of peace, he grabbed Klaus’ head and kissed his cheek, “That was bad, I know!” He consoled.

“You’re not forgiven.” Klaus snapped through the side of his mouth while still smiling at his daughter, trying to stop her cries.

“It worked, didn’t it?” Ben retorted in the same manner.

They looked over to where the Fire chief was standing with one hand still holding on to the fire extinguisher, her mouth was open, and she was staring into the distance in apparent shock.

“Will you help us?” Klaus asked hopefully.

She looked at him then back to the scorched concrete ground.

She nodded. “Yeah. We’ll help you.”