Fireproof

“Rockin’ around the Christmas tree
At the Christmas party hop
Every couple tries to stop
Rockin’ around the Christmas tree
Let the Christmas spirit ring
Later we’ll have some pumpkin pie
And we’ll do some caroling”

Ben bounced along gently to the song playing loudly from one of the adjoining motel rooms, he was sitting next to the air unit watching the snow trickle down. He considered this to be his first real Christmas, he didn’t count all the holidays spent hoping that his brother wouldn’t literally die of exposure on the streets.

There was drunk yelling coming from somewhere below them and the people next door were loudly having sex. Ben focused on the sounds of the holiday music playing and found himself in a good mood.

He looked over to where the baby, Kenzie Grace, was sleeping soundly on the bed surrounded by a barrier of pillows and smiled fondly. She was a typical baby, now almost 2 months old and she would be up and down throughout the night but right now she was full, clean, and tuckered out.

Klaus plodded into the bedroom from the bathroom wearing a towel around his body like a dress and matching towel around his head in a swirling tower. He glanced to the side of the motel where the obnoxious fucking was happening and glared.

Two months sober – Ben was ecstatic and more hopeful than he had ever been (Both alive and dead). Klaus was cranky. Ben didn’t mind, he would rather have Klaus having real emotions even if it meant he was agitated and rude. It helped that when faced with the constant feeding and diaper changing of a baby – he learned real quick how to make Ben corporeal.

It was a necessity – especially when Klaus was vomiting, hallucinating, and passing out as the poison was leaving his system and Ben adored the fact that Kenzie saw him and interacted with him. He could help her, and it made him feel alive and loved.

He didn’t know how Klaus felt at the moment but to Ben, Kenzie was the best thing that ever
happened to them. Thanks Satan.

Klaus moved the chair that was sitting against the desk and pressed it firmly against the doorknob; his hands shook and he nearly tripped moving it over. He checked the locks one more time then moved to the bed, he faced the infant and curled loosely around her, placing a hand protectively on her tummy.

“Klaus.”

“Hm?”

Ben paused for a moment, thinking over his next words carefully. They were never good at feelings in their household, “I’m – I just want you to know that- I know you could have bought drugs with that money – I’m proud of you for getting the room instead.”

His words hung in the air for a few seconds before he heard his brother sigh.

“Well, I mean – It’s too late for a refund. I already tried.” He chuckled to himself dryly.

Ben smiled. He was about to say something else when a gunshot went off nearby. Klaus yelped and covered his head, startling the baby who began to cry. Ben left them and phased through the door – he looked around noticing that the commotion was happening about a block away in a different area. He went back inside and sat on the bed.

Klaus was curled around the baby, patting her gently and stroking her cheek desperately, “Shh… Shh.. I’m sorry squishy face – I’m sorry. It’s okay.” Kenzie’s cries became more intense “Oh my! – Oh, chubby cheeks is upset now! Oh, no – It’s okay, baby – shh… Mom’s not going to let anything happen to you – go to sleep – you little scream machine…” He gently sang the last bit through clenched teeth and that seemed to calm her down.

Klaus groaned when the ghosts started poking their way through the walls at the new sound but he continued to lightly rock her back and forth on her back.

“It’s way over there – They shouldn’t bother us.” Ben reported.

Klaus nodded, “Hear that, little bit? Nothing to worry about – go back to sleep…” Her face was still red and she was hiccupping off an on but her cries died down and soon her little eyelids started to droop.

Klaus sighed and dropped his head over hers, his body was tense but he closed his eyes and sighed as she finally went quiet again.

“She’s like a little space heater…” Klaus said in a hushed tone then he added with a little more concern, “What if she has a fever?”

Ben got up and walked to the other side of the bed to get a better look at the infant. She was on her back, laying comfortably against Klaus’ towel covered chest. Her skin was clear and she was sleeping peacefully despite the ruckus she was just throwing a moment before. “She doesn’t look sick.”

“How can you tell? She’s always a little blotchy…”

“Check her forehead.”

Klaus moved the HELLO palm of his hand and pressed it against her head, he concentrated for a few moments, calculating, “She definitely feels alive.” He concluded.

Ben rolled his eyes, “She’s fine, Klaus, she probably feels warm because you’re freezing all the time.”

Klaus whined.

“Klaus. Take a deep breath – She’s not sick, just be there with her, okay?”

His brother nodded, squeezing his eyes shut, “She’s not sick. She’s not sick.” He repeated back in a soft tone.

The fight a few rooms down got louder, and Klaus had to physically brace himself to avoid jostling the baby again. He tensed and let out a shaky breath. His eyes darted around the room, over the ghosts and landed on the door which was now blockaded by the flimsy chair.

Klaus was jumpy now, too, since he got sober. Ben was finally seeing the real effects of trauma that would normally be hidden by drugs. In the past, Ben had seen him go through horrible things and just move past it like it was nothing, drowning it out and forgetting it a day later. It wasn’t like that anymore. Loud bangs and raised voices sent trembles down his body and made him startle and move in the opposite direction.

“Hey, you’re okay.”

“What?” Klaus craned his neck to look at his brother incredulously.

“You’re spiraling on me, man – You’re going to wake up Kenzie if you keep shaking like that.”

“Am not.”

“Are to.”

“Screw you.” The smile on his face betrayed him.

After a moment Klaus huffed out a weak laugh, “You said that you were proud of me…”

Ben leaned against his brother’s back and shook his head, “Did I say that?”

“I mean, maybe I was hallucinating but I’m pretty sure that’s what you said before the gang next door started their initiation.”

Bens scrunched up his face, “Maybe I did. To be fair- Klaus, this is the longest you’ve ever kept anything alive. Including yourself, so –“

Klaus snorted, “Speak for yourself, buddy.”

Ben actually laughed at that, “Touché.”

Klaus sighed and seemed to focus on relaxing his shoulders and neck. He looked exhausted and Ben knew he was struggling to keep his strength up without the chemicals running through his veins. He knew that his brother was still dealing not only with the side effects of withdrawal but also from the injuries sustained from his attack on that fateful night.

Ben hoped that someday Klaus’ face would fill out, that he would be able to gain some weight
and bring some color back into his skin.

Ben looked at the clock on the bedside table; It read 12:26. “Merry Christmas, Klaus.”

Klaus glanced over at his brother and then at the baby. He looked like he was going to make a smartass comment, but maybe for once he was just too tired, “Merry nondenominational holiday…” He mumbled.

He glanced over at the door again and frowned.

Ben stood up from the bed, “Get some sleep – I’ll make sure nobody bothers us.”

Klaus nodded and finally closed his eyes.

Ben moved to the desk and sat down on top of it, leaning against the window. He watched the snow fall down and for the first time since he was a child, thought that it looked peaceful and beautiful. The holiday music next door changed songs and Ben began to hum softly to himself, keeping close guard on the streets outside.

”Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams…”