Useless Lesbian Matchmaker Extraordinaire!
Lena woke up to a truly adorable dimpled sight that made a wide, pleased smile stretch across her features. Even though a slight headache was reaching its way up her neck. Panic attacks were the worst.
“Hey pretty lady. Do you have the number of the bus that hit me?” Lena said, somewhat surprised at the husky quality of her voice.
In a start, Maggie’s face whipped around to stare down at Lena, that dimpled smile turning all the way up to it’s full megawatt brightness. An action which caused Lena to blink with surprise as she recognized her actual position at the moment. After all, it’s always pleasant to wake up with your head in your kinda sorta not girlfriend's lap. Even if said girlfriend was being a bit of a brat in talking animatedly over your head and jostling you around.
“Lena! Fuck, you alright there? You gave us a scare.” The latina women breathed out as one of her rough hands came down to gently comb through Lena’s dark hair. The action felt lovely, even as Lena realized she had a bit of a crick in her neck from the strange position. The restaurant booth was definitely not made to lie down properly in. With a groan Lena lifted her arms up to stretch the tension out of her neck slowly.
Still a bit of a headache. Crap.
“I’m okay. Just a bit of a headach-” Lena started replying, only to be cut off by the strangest loud whooshing sound. With an unhappy pout she dragged her gaze away from her amazing not (yet) girlfriend and over the table that she was currently laying under.
Her gaze met worried glowing blue eyes, slitted like a cat with striking white pupils. Said eyes came along with trembling hands holding out a bottle Advil and a big glass of water.
...Why in the hell was said bottle of Advil still in its store packaging?
Oh well, with a sigh she snatched it away, dug her way through to the actual contents and popped a pill in her mouth. She certainly wasn’t a lady to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“Kare bear-” A voice, full of mischievous glee started making Lena jump. “-did you just rob a convenience store to get your totally ‘straight’ best friend slash ‘hopeless’ crush a bottle of headache meds?” The voice continued. Lena could practically hear the shit eating grin, even if the voice was coming from the side of the booth she couldn’t see at the moment.
Wait, ‘hopeless crush’
The fuck?
...Lena’s brain took a solid half second to restart as she propped herself up on Maggie’s shoulder to watch the byplay.
“Sara, that's rude, shut up! How could you think...of course I paid for it! Well, I guess it was more like I left some money on the counter after I took it, but still!” The voice of her favorite blonde kryptonian huffed back. Lena watched in fascination as Kara’s slitted eyes narrowed dangerously and started glowing even more intensely at the other blonde. Especially striking since there was none of the reddish hue she knew to associate with Supergirl’s laser vision.
Then the other blonde, Sara, she assumed, huffed out an amused laugh and scratched her nails over the top of Kara’s neck. It seemed like some sort of point just above the kryptonian’s hairline. Sara giggled something that sounded suspiciously like ‘whatever you say kitty’ and Kara just...crumpled. All tension left her frame as Kara went boneless in her seat. A breathy little sigh left the kryptonian’s throat as her head lolled back against the booth seat with a soft ‘boof.’ Those impossible blue eyes fluttered happily for all of a few seconds as a delightful rumbling purr sound filled the air.
Fucking hell, was that a goddamn pretty sight. Especially since the new angle showed off an elegantly long kryptonian neck...apparently encircled with a thin black leather collar.
Fucking holy shit. What. The. Fuck.
A glance over at the other...extremely well muscled woman showcased an utterly shit eating grin. Sara’s gaze was slowly moving between Kara and Lena, with a look of supreme smug satisfaction on her face the whole damn time. Especially as she slid her hand back down a bit further to gently scrape along the nape of Kara’s neck, turning the purr into an incredibly pleased moan.
Lena was...confused I guess is a good word. Relieved that Kara was there, real, and seemingly happy, but confused. Confused that she’d entered some bizzaro world where her utterly naive and innocent ex best friend was apparently in some sort of BDSM based lesbian relationship. Especially one where her partner was showing Kara off to Kara’s apparently ‘hopeless’ crush with supreme pleasure. It didn’t even feel like it was in the ‘haha, look what you can’t have sort of way’ way. It was more in the smug friendly ‘see, this is what you’d have had all along if you just asked the pretty girl out. Do it already you dumb bitch’ sortof way.
Well, confused might not be the only word. Horny. Horny definitely fit as well.
Sue her, the biceps of steel (™) had featured prominently in many a dirty fantasy over the years, even before she knew they belonged to sweet, perfect, loving Kara. Her Kara.
Lena coughed awkwardly, feeling heat run up her cheeks. I mean, hot as this version of Kara was, she was kinda sorta not girlfriends with Maggie already, so, really, this was all besides the point.
...Goddamn what a great tangent though. She is totally revisiting it when she’s in the shower someday soon.
“We haven’t been properly introduced yet, I’m Lena.” The CEO said, as warmly as she was able to Kara’s...something or other friend. If her eyebrow twitched a time or two in annoyance to the widening of Sara’s superior grin, well, that’s just Lena’s business. She was polite. Civil. The CEO even deigned to reach out a hand for a polite handshake too.
“Charmed. Sara Lance. Ex-assassin, current timeship captain.” The blonde demurred back. Thankfully deciding to leave Lena’s sanity somewhat intact, the blonde ceased her efforts at turning Kara into a puddle of goo and raised her hand to shake. The kryptonian still looked a bit out of it though, with her eyes hooded and her form languid.
Lena shook Sara’s goddamn hand politely.
...Fuck, even Sara’s hands were pretty in a perfectly rugged sort of way.
It also probably said something about the shoddy state of Lena’s life right now that ‘ex-assassin’ was the least eyebrow raising part of that introduction.
“So, you’re telling me that not only are alternate universes real, but bloody time travel is too?” The CEO growled, her eyebrow twitching at the particularly smugly annoying, attractive, perfect and fucking blonde woman still leaning up against Kara.
“Yeah babe, keep up. Apparently it’s a terrible idea and Sara spends all her time fixing mucked up timelines these days. She was telling us all about it while you were having your little catnap.” Maggie replied, snickering beside her. Lena spun around to glare her not (yet) girlfriend into submission. It took a few seconds, but eventually the ex-cop blushed a fetching pinkish shade and gave a brief apologetic shrug. The CEO grinned, warm, happy, and totally not competitive, drawing Maggie in for a slow, searing kiss.
It may have deepened a little bit more than was exactly socially acceptable after a few seconds. Oh, well, what did she really expect when she fisted her hand in Maggie’s perfect silky hair. That’s just what happens. Everybody knows that. Her not (yet) girlfriend was seriously the best.
...ahhhh, there was the delightful choking sound Kara tended to make when she was pleasantly surprised.
Lena: 1.
Blonde bitch: 0.
(Well, maybe the blonde bitch had already scored a point or two when she was playing with Kara’s neck like a harpy. Tie game.)
“I didn’t realize that you, uh, you know, um, liked...what I mean is, you know, when did this erhm, thing happen.” Came a hauntingly lilting voice, that Lena was sure wasn’t meant to sound quite so sad. Truth be told, the actual words were said in Kara’s usual awkward, upbeat, perky, cheerleader tone. Only, the secondary alien harmony had turned to strange dissonant half-tones that caused the whole thing to clash painfully.
Fuck.
It sounded devastated and made Lena have to think.
Perhaps not being practiced in speaking with her native accent anymore, Kara wasn’t as adept at covering up the negative things she was truly feeling. Which, well, had some disturbing connotations. After all, the awkward perky cheerleader voice was absolutely Kara’s default setting back in National City. Lena had never even noticed there was anything unusual or strained about it. She knew there were only a few things that ever got her to drop it and sound more honestly happy.
Like talking about amazing Alex. Or good food. Or cute puppies.
...Or that amazed and starry eyed tone she’d get when Lena would waffle on about what she was building at work.
Hello self-loathing my old friend, I’ve come to talk to you again!
Lena wrung her hands awkwardly as she turned to face the wide eyed kryptonian. Goddamn, Kara always had rather effective kicked puppy eyes when she was sad. Even presenting more human, those perky, clear blue eyes had always been devastating. Now in a more natural form though, those gorgeous, glowing cat-eyes turned big, wide, watery and welled up like a fucking day old scolded kitten.
Lena’s poor heart.
“I mean, other than Maggie I haven’t dated a woman since I was in college. It was all over the tabloids. I’m pansexual, I thought you knew.” Lena whispered back, her throat thick with emotion. It had been a reasonable assumption to make! Kara was a bloody reporter after all! One who had been working on a story about Lena personally.
...Kara did always have a way about making up her own opinions about other people though. With how fucking good Kara bloody was, Lena probably shouldn’t be surprised. Trust goddamn Supergirl to not be a paranoid ass and instead take Lena at face value without caring about all the filth that got written about the youngest Luthor.
Lena’s poor, bruised, ugly heart.
“Oh.” Came the haunting reply from the kryptonian.
Awkward silence reigned.
...then Maggie cleared her throat quite abruptly. Lena tore her gaze away from her sad ex-best friend slash hopeless ‘straight’ crush to her not (yet) girlfriend. The ex-cop was looking a bit awkward, and Lena felt her heart clench again for another terrifying moment. Maggie was...amazing, wonderful and everything she’d needed at a very low moment. Things had been going so swimmingly before this very conversation and she did not want anything to fuck that up.
However, the expected flash of hurt in Maggie’s eyes was quick to disappear, only to be replaced with an interesting sort of wry, knowing, amusement.
“Would now be a good time to point out that Lena and I really haven’t discussed relationship boundaries yet. Plus, just putting this out there for no particular reason, I dated a polyamorous girl a year or two before Alex and I got together. It was fun. Even got to have a threesome with her wife once. Good times.” The latina woman explained, her voice an interesting mix between awkward, restrained and excited.
Lena goggled at the wonderful, amazing, perfect fucking human she was kinda sortof still dating. The CEO was bloody amazed that she had somehow managed to not yet totally> fuck up the only real substantial relationship she had left.
...Given her bloody track record, that was just fucking impossibly lucky. What. The. Hell.
The blonde bitch started cackling.
Lena started glaring at her, right after she gave Maggie a pleased smile and a firm comforting squeeze of the hand.
“Ah, you three kiddos are just too cute.” Sara guffawed, wiping an imaginary tear from her eyes.
Maggie started glaring too. Yikes, really gotta be adept at pushing buttons to get the normally sanguine woman to lose her cool like that.
“For future reference, Kara and I aren’t actually together. Were just very good friends.” The blonde bitch continued, wiggling her eyebrows excessively.
Lena started grinding her teeth.
“Sara! Stop being a brat! You’re giving them all sorts of weird misunderstandings!” The kryptonian suddenly shouted. An honest to god fucking hiss left her throat as well. Which, well.
...was kinda fucking adorably cute in an aggrieved feral cat sort of way?
Sara snickered. The glares from Maggie and Lena intensified.
“Ah, that reminds me. I’m on my way to a hot date with my lovely and monogamish wife. Toodles kiddos. Don’t start any wild, kinky, orgies I wouldn’t start.” The blonde bitch snarked, pushing her way around Kara and shoving towards the door.
Lena’s grinding teeth turned into an annoyed growl. Maggie facepalmed.
“Sara!” Kara cried in exasperation at the back of the retreating blonde.
Which would have been an awkward enough exit, but nooooo. The blonde bitch apparently had to take it a step further by turning back around once she was by the door.
“By the way Kara, you’re officially sexiled from the apartment tonight! Make nice with your two pretty lady friends and I’m sure they'll have a nice lap or two for you to park your cute little derriere on instead.” Sara shouted over the entire room, to a raucous round of wolf whistles and cheers.
Kara groaned and fell forward, her head banging repeatedly on the tabletop.
Lena’s blushing groan echoed in time with the Kryptonian.
Well, that was certainly an interesting experience.