National City Rejects

Waking up after her latest rather boozy one-night stand was...something of a surprise for Lena.

Of course, she felt the usual sense of nausea and pounding headache that was absolutely emblematic of bad decisions made the night before. Which...wasn’t quite as bad as it could have been, so she thought that was pretty nice. Lena was, after all, extremely familiar with that sensation. The CEO may always be hesitant to admit to any such failing(“Don’t let them see you cry Lena, Luthors are above such weakness.”) but privately she was a big enough girl to admit she hadn’t been handling things quite as well as she could. The passed out anonymous woman in her bed and the pounding headache was par for the course. Drinking away her feelings had basically been the game plan for the last several months.

Though the CEO vaguely remembered some friend or other of her newest bedmate shoving a bunch of water down their throats to stave off the worst of it, which would explain why she doesn’t quite feel like death warmed over. Friends are nice.

It’s only of course, when she actually looks down and takes in the muscled shoulders of the woman that she starts to remember flashes of the night before. Luckily they seemed to be able to stay juuuust shy of blacking out, so she thinks she gets most of what happened. It’s a bit hazy and dreamlike though. In sort of the best, happy fever dream way actually. In the cold light of day the Luthor found it hard to reconcile how...free and unencumbered she was acting last night. She remembers talking about...so many fucking things. Hell, she’s almost never even close to that emotionally available. Even counting Sam, who is basically her only friend at this point.

...it was kinda nice actually. Not that she’d ever say it out loud.

Fuck, she should probably get a therapist or something. Not that she’d actually be comfortable talking to them, but they say it works.

Maybe she just needs a friend or two instead. Sam is great and awesome, and has proved herself over and over again. She of course had been the one to point Lena towards a couple of good suggestions for places to “destress” in Star City. Lena remembered being a little dubious about some of the recommendations, but from everything she’s remembering, it seemed like Roxanne’s worked out pretty well, so yeah. Friends are definitely nice.

Much less nice is her stupid fucking brain. Which, of fucking course, can’t just chill in the afterglow of an amazing one night stand and desperately pray for the sun stop poking through the curtains and searing her poor eyeballs. No, no, no, it has to beat the drums of an unfortunate battle between embarrassment and panic.

Some small, stupid part of her brain started to run damage control. Planning what to do if her bed partner goes to the paparazzi. Worrying about how much baggage she spilled. Considering what’s the best way she can sell her “fun, relatable” image to the board of L-Corp so they stop threatening to have her replaced. What arguments could at all start to convince her pigheaded board that she is in fact competent at her job after a small slip up. What are the metrics for this quarter like? How has PR been lately? How can she just make them see how stupid and hypocritical they are without hanging them out a window by their ankles, because thats a felony. She’d look awful in prison orange.

God, it’s frustrating though. She knows how bad the drug and/or adultery habits most of them have is. It’s just because, as a young, gay woman, any perceived fault is gets blown up so much bigger that they even care.

As her brain started spinning into full gear, her breath unconsciously picked up into panicked gasps of hyperventilation. Even the small voice in her head reminding her she hasn’t been at L-Corp for awhile and her new company isn’t public yet so she doesn’t even have a board to answer to doesn’t help. Energy was sparking under her skin and she just needed to get up and plan. She knew early aggressive action pays off in these situations. She needed to get ahead of the narrative. That’s it, that’s definitely it!

Of course, her bedmate chose that lovely moment to sleepily grumple awake from her position passed out on Lena’s shoulder. A warm nose nuzzled up into Lena’s naked shoulder and strong arms wrapped around her chest. A familiar face came into view and Lena jerked, surprised in her grip.

Maggie.

Right. Maggie was the one night stand. The pretty, funny, caring, perfect one night stand.

Maggie’s safe. Probably. She’s never had a negative experience with her before. Well barring her arresting her, but that was due to doctored video evidence. Maggie’s not going to betray her. Probably. Maggie did sort of lie to her by omission about Kara, but as Lena vaguely recalls, they talked a lot of that out last night. She doesn’t...think she’s mad at her or the superfriends anymore? Certainly she’s not sanguine enough to actually go slinking back to Kara and apologize though. That burned bridge is probably irreparable at this point. She thinks she can...very tentatively trust at least one of them though.

A finger flicked her nose painfully. Lena startled and her gaze snapped over to Maggie’s tired but still unfairly dimpled mug. Her nose is scrunched up in an annoyed pout in the cutest way so Lena just...stares.

“You’re thinking too damn hard too damn early Luthor. It’s fine. Chill the fuck out and cuddle.” The ex-cop gruffed out, her voice gravelly and horse from a long night out.

“Lena. My friends call me Lena.” The ceo replied softly before she could think too hard about it. At the same time though, she gave out a little annoyed huff and tugged the other woman closer. She’d give Maggie this one, she was thinking to hard.

A big, wide smile and happy groan was her only response.

Which, well, that more or less sets the tone for the rest of the morning. The two women seemed to somehow stick in the pocket of this perfect moment of suspended animation. Where nothing more remarkable than a fantastic party and some hot sex had happened last night. Where the two have no complicated history beyond people who happen to enjoy each other's company.

For once in a blue moon, whoever Lena had a drunken one-night stand with doesn’t go running the absolute second they are awake. There’s no panic inducing moment where you can clearly see the light go off in their eyes as they realize who in fact “just Lena” is. No mounting disgust and hasty excuses. No greedy dollar signs going off under the surface. Just...warmth and care.

It’s nice. Really nice.

There’s warm cuddles beneath silky sheets. Lingering looks as they both slink off to the bathroom one after the other. Slow kisses that smolder with warmth as they end up showering together in Lena’s giant bathroom. Teasing hands as they barrel into the open concept kitchen in two of Lena’s short bathrobes.

With her bedmate not running off the second she sees Lena’s face, the CEO is given the welcome treat of prepping a nice healthy breakfast for the pair. With giant mugs of her favorite dark roasted coffee. She ends up prepping some artisanal whole wheat oatmeal absolutely smothering in thick honey and fresh fruit. Lena loves the warm glow thumping away in her chest as Maggie carefully watches her bounce around the kitchen, smiling the whole time. Loves the way the glow kindles yet higher at the absolutely obscene moans of delight Maggie makes over the whole concoction. It’s really such a simple thing, but she’s so glad the woman likes it, and it’s the perfect start to her day.

...Okay, sue her. She has a bit of a thing for pampering her partners alright? It doesn’t have to mean anything. It just feels good. Lena likes when people are happy. So what if its a little extra.There’s no law forbidding that.

There is however a bit of an awkward unfortunate moment when Maggie is finally dressed and by the door ready to leave. Both of them just sort of...stare at each other with frowns on their faces. They’ve hugged and said their goodbyes already. Gushed about how much fun they’ve had and how great it was to catch up again. Neither wants to acknowledge the truth they both know. This...insane, perfect storm of luck and drunk derring-do is probably never going to happen again.

This is, after all, just a one night stand. They both know that and didn’t go into this expecting or wanting anything else.

“Hey...Lena?” Maggie eventually whispered, a sad frown on her face.

“Yeah?” Lena replied, shuffling awkwardly on the rich carpet.

“I just...I had fun. A lot of fun. More fun that I can remember having in...well, years actually.” The ex-cop said hesitantly, worrying her lovely lips under her teeth.

“Yeah. Yeah me too. It was fun while it lasted.” The CEO couldn’t help but reply, her voice hoarse and tight.

“Well, I mean. I just… What I want to say…” Maggie kept trying to say, before eventually cutting herself off in a low growl of impotent frustration. After a second the shorter woman took a deep breath and squared her shoulders challengingly.

“Look. I’ll be... I’m at Roxanne’s every friday, just y’know. If you’re in the area or whatever.” Maggie said grumpily, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at Lena challengingly. As if daring her to make some sort of teasing comment.

Lena felt a genuine, surprised and pleased smile bloom across her features.

“Yeah? I’ll...I guess it’s not too far to walk. I might be there, y’know. If I happen to be in the area. ” Lena hedged, barely resisting the urge to tap her nails against her leg.

Maggie brightened, grinned, kissed Lena soundly and then flounced out the door.

From there on, things just kinda...snowballed forward in the way things do. They both chronically avoided talking about this thing between them. Instead, Lena made a point to absolutely and completely free up her Friday night schedule...for no particular reason of course.

Who woulda thunk it, it just so happens that she’s feeling cocktails on her newly free Friday evening. I mean, who wouldn’t really? Plus, the bartender at Roxanne’s had a whole list of experimental concoctions she’d been excited to try last time. It’s just natural that Lena would happen to wind up across from Maggie in a booth at 7pm with a stiff drink in front of her.

Their night on the town goes swell again. Though, they end up at a vegan pizza joint for food after the bar instead. The sex is pretty great too, especially since Lena gets to pound her strap on into the other woman’s ass this time. With many adorable ‘I wanna top next time’ grumbles from Maggie.

They part ways in the morning again, totally casually, not expecting anything. It’s not like they’re really dating or anything. Just some vague friends who happened to be in the same bar on a Friday night.

It happens again the week after that.

Then the week after that.

Then Lena has something come up at work, so she leaves a message at Maggie’s work with her phone number and lets her know she’ll be going out Saturday instead.

Well, then it’s only natural to chat throughout the week. They have each other’s numbers after all. It’s not like it's a big thing or anything. Plus, wouldn’t you know it too, there’s all sorts of cool new restaurants opening up around town. It just so happens that neither woman has had the chance to explore many of them, because most of their friends are in other cities. It’s just awkward to go to a sit down restaurant by yourself.

So, of course it just makes sense to grab a quick bite to eat together before they inevitably end up at Roxanne’s together. Which becomes a nice new part of the routine.

Then a few weeks later Lena has this office social party thing, and she’d feel pretty pathetic going by herself. So of course she vents to Maggie, who happens to be free that night anyways. It just makes sense really that they go as friends. Who else would she bring? Sam? Sam’s back in National City trying to contain the fallout of Lex taking over L-Corp. Plus she has Ruby to look after and super-powered teens need their beauty sleep.

Maggie and Lena may or may not end up fucking in the large private bathroom Lena has in her office afterwards. No comment.

...Lena would like it noted that Maggie looks unfairly hot in a tight black suit and deep navy shirt. Also, ties should be fucking illegal. Especially since they are so bloody useful as improvised restraints.

Somebody could get hurt after all (in the best way, with a strong hand turning pale asscheeks a lovely shade of pink).

Somehow, they end up kind-of, sort-of, dating but not really dating because neither wants to really talk about feelings. Those dangerous, dangerous fee-fees don’t exist if you don’t acknowledge them after all.

...right?

This holding pattern between Lena and Maggie lasts for a good month more before the next thing inevitably comes along to fuck shit up and flip the table.

It starts pretty quietly.

Lena and Maggie are out together getting coffee on a chilly Saturday afternoon. It’s not a big thing, or groundbreaking or even all that new. It doesn’t mean anything. Maggie just got somewhat addicted to the fancy coffee blends Lena always seems to find. Of course it just makes sense for Lena to show Maggie around to a couple of her favorite cafes that supply them. That’s just efficiency. Maggie needs to know where the best coffee in the city is after all.

If the pair is having a very lovely chat and playing a bit of footsie under the table, well, nobody is going to call them on it. They are two grown, just friends, women out on the town and hanging out. There’s nothing wrong with that. The cafe is full, but not too full, the music is lively and the coffee is excellent

Then there’s a fateful cry from across the room.

“Hey, hey, turn that up! What the fuck!”

Murmurs and whispering echo through the enclosed space. Maggie and Lena stiffen,still on guiard from their respective lifetimes of paranoia. Without being too obvious about it, both women shift their heads around, trying to see what all the commotion is about. What immediately stands out is a growing group of 20 somethings clustered by the bar watching a TV hung up playing baseball. Which, well, is entirely normal, so it’s somewhat confusing what’s causing all the hubbub for a few moments.

Then Lena’s eyes manage to actually read the news ticker going by the bottom.

“Breaking News: SuperGirl Retiring. Leaked Catco Memo Shows Hero Gives Notice!”

The CEO feels her heart jump a beat and her breath catches in her throat. Her hands feel sweaty, and there’s the weirdest ringing sound in her ears. Some vicious, underhanded little cockle of her heart immediately starts cackling in vindicated glee. Another aching void starts worrying.

How long had it been since she dumped Kara from her life like hot garbage? What had she even said in the end there? Lena wasn’t exactly thinking straight following Kara’s confession, and has a hard time remembering exactly what venom she threw at the poor girl. She knows herself though, and she knows the viciousness that being a Luthor beat into her, so she knows whatever it was cut like a knife. She also knows that prior to their fight, Kara and Lena were practically best friends, despite all the secrets.

She knows Kara. Sweet, lonely, uniquely good Kara. She would have been devastated. It’s probably been a few months sure...but this sort of decision isn’t just some spur of the moment thing.

...did she cause this?

Her breathing picks back up, vaults over hyperventilation straight into panicked overload. Stars are shooting across the corners of her eyes and things are slowly going black. She just...she just can’t have fucked up this bad! She just couldn’t have ruined the literal paragon of truth and justice. That’s too much. She’s just one woman. She doesn’t want to be responsible for that, on top of all her other myriad faults.

It’s at around that moment that she feels Maggie flicking her nose, hard to get her attention. After a startled yelp, she realizes the shorter woman’s arms are around her, holding her tight as the world seems to spin unsteadily around them. Her not-girlfriends husky voice whispers in her ear, that ever useful phrase that always calms her down “You're thinking too hard Lena.”

The CEO breaths, slowly, carefully, to get as much strength as possible together.

Then she looks up at the TV again. The ballgame has been interrupted by a breaking report that goes live to a press conference. In short order,silky blonde curls over top of perfect skin and crystal blue eyes come into view. Supergirl stands before a podium with her back straight and chest puffed out defiantly. Daring the assembled reporters to make the first move. She’s the perfect picture of composed strength and elegance. All without losing that ever present hint of a smile that belies her simply good nature.

...Or at least, that’s the first impression. The longer Lena looks the more she realizes Kara looks tired. Compare to her normal, perfect, bouncy disposition, supergirl looks...like shit actually.

Well, maybe that's a bit hyperbolous. Lena is well aware of how unfair Kara’s kryptonian biology is. She never has bad skin days. Her hair is always bouncy, silky and perfect unless she’s just been in a fight. Her muscle tone is ungodly when she isn’t hiding it under all those pastel cardigans. She is just...almost effortlessly perfect and beautiful every damn day of the week.

For someone who knows all that however, the just barely visible darker circles under Kara eyes are easily visible. The steel in her spine isn’t nearly as rigged as it usually is. She’s stimming by tapping her fingers on the podium in a steady 1. 2. 3. beat that keeps getting faster, a sure sign that she’s barely coping with some sort of sensory overload (looking back on it, it seems fairly obvious, but Lena was half convinced Kara had some form of autism before she knew she had super senses). Plus, Kara’s going out into an important press conference with hair that obviously hasn’t been properly maintained for days if not weeks. It looks dry and split which...is just not a thing Kara’s hair is normally capable of.

Hot, searing guilt stabs into Lena’s gut.

Maggie hugs her tighter and whispers warm assurances in her ear. The guilt eases back a half step.

Then a strange lilting voice starts emanating from staticy TV. It seems to echo in harmony, almost two tones at once. It sounded more like a church organ than a single voice. The CEO finds it beyond beautiful. Sublime is probably the best world that immediately comes to mind. Lena thinks it sounds strangely familiar until she realizes it’s coming from Kara. Sweet, kind Kara.

Kara who is an alien from a strange culture. Kara who grew up in an environment and culture entirely foreign to all human understanding.

...Kara who always spoke in the strangest, most beautiful, unexplainable except for long minutes every time she had a nightmare when she was sleeping over at Lena’s place.

“Before I start, I first want to address the rumours of my retirement. To be clear, despite the leaked story being sold to generate clicks, I have no plans to retire as Supergirl.” The voice begins, tone frustrated and accusatory. A series of much more human sounding inane questions are yelled, interrupting the speech from the stellar being holding court on national TV.

The voice holder raises her hands for silence. It slowly comes.

“However… as I gain more experience I have been reflecting on my methods and strategies for protecting the innocent and supporting the public good. I’ve heard many arguments, from many different perspectives, beliefs and traditions.” The voice holder continued, sounding a heartbreaking combination of sad, understanding and frustrated.

Lena absentmindedly realizes tears are running down her face.

...Did she do this?

Maggie kisses her gently on her cheek. The rising guilt stops for a short moment.

“At this moment I’m announcing that I will be scaling back on many of my day to day duties. These include fighting petty crime, and helping with minor accidents. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. However, despite my powers I am not omnipotent. I’m not always perfect, nor do I have infinite time or resources. All I can do is my best with what I have available.” The voiceholder explained, giving, what Lena knew, was it’s best effort at keeping steady and confident.

After all, it wouldn’t do for supergirl to ever sound out of control or less than confident. It’d cause a mass panic on the streets.

The voice holder took a deep breath, and what was clearly a small sniff before continuing.

“There are a number of projects I’m already engaged in to help the people of earth, but I will not be announcing all of them at this time. I do however, want to assure the public that if there is ever a major disaster or attack that the regular emergency responders cannot solve, I will be available at a moment's notice. I will not be taking further questions at this time. Thank you and good day.” The voice holder finished, it’s voice tight and devastated.

A streak flew off into the sky on the TV.

Maggie hugged her tighter. Lena hugged her back and turned to kiss her desperately.

Was this her fault?