Chapter 25
By the time Camie had found a place that was far enough from the festival area, Toga’s Bakugo facade had completely disappeared. She guided Toga to the bench that sat under a tree. The sound from the bustling festival was the only thing that could be heard as Camie sat next to her; placing the fish gently beside them.
Toga immediately brought her feet up to the seat of the bench and hugged her knees to her chest, wiping her few shed tears on her pants. They sat like that for a few minutes as Camie gave Toga some time to calm down and collect her thoughts.
“What was that about?” Camie started off with a soft tone.
Toga shook her head, keeping it down on her knees.
“Toga,” Camie started again and tried to place her hand on Toga’s back. Toga flinched away and leaned slightly forward, causing Camie to frown. Her nail had snagged in Toga’s shirt and only then did Camie realise how big Toga’s clothes were.
Of course they’d be big; she dressed as Bakugo.
“Come on, I need to know what’s going on so I can help.”
“You can help by taking the fish home.” Toga muttered softly.
“That’s not the problem here,” Camie sighed. “I want to know why. You don’t seem to be scared of fish because you were fine when we were trying to catch them and there was that time at the aquarium. You seem to freak out at the thought of keeping one though.”
“That’s because I can’t keep one.”
“Why not? Is it a league rule to not have pets?”
Toga shook her head again, “It’s not a league rule.”
“Then why can’t you keep the fish?” Camie pressed.
“Because of me!” Toga yelled, finally looking up at Camie. She gave Camie what would have been a fierce look if not for the tears that were starting to form again.
Camie’s eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion, “I... don’t understand.”
“I’m a terrible person with a disgusting quirk!” Toga lashed out, “I don’t deserve a pet.”
She put her head back down and pulled her legs closer to her body.
Camie’s heart felt as if it had been ripped out. Her eyes widened in shook at how Toga viewed herself. This was worse than the time that she and Toga had had an argument and hadn’t spoken for months. The pain in her chest blossomed and Camie was beginning to find it difficult to breathe.
How can she think that? She’s so sweet and kind. She clearly loves animals, fish particularly. So how...why does she think she can’t have one? How can she view herself in such a negative light when she’s normally so happy? Why didn’t I notice this?
“...with a disgusting quirk. I don’t deserve a pet.”
Toga’s voice pulled Camie from her thoughts.
“I’m a terrible person with a disgusting quirk. I don’t deserve a pet.” Toga had started to rock slightly as she repeated herself over and over.
“Hey, Toga?” Camie called out warily. “Toga you need to stop.”
No wonder she views herself like this, she keeps repeating it over and over. How often has she done this when she feels she doesn’t deserve something? It’s like she’s made it her own personal mantra.
No.
No, this isn’t something she’s done to herself. This isn’t how Toga views herself. It’s how she’s been conditioned to view herself.
God, I’m so stupid!
Camie stood up and knelt down on the ground in front of Toga.
“Toga, you need to stop.” She said in a stern voice; bringing her hands up and placing them softly on Toga’s legs.
Toga didn’t hear her and carried on with her verbal abuse.
“Toga!” Camie raised her voice slightly, causing the blonde to stop and look up, meeting Camie’s eyes. Tears were streaming down her cheeks and her lower lip quivered as she tried to calm herself.
“Stop please.” Camie’s voice broke. “Please.”
Toga nodded, still trying to even her breathing. She brought her hands up to try and hide her face. Camie stopped her with one hand and used the other to wipe away the remnant of her tears.
“Who told you that?”
Toga remained silent.
“They were wrong Toga.” Camie whispered as she pulled Toga’s legs out and placed her feet on the ground so she was sitting on the bench normally. She then leaned her head against Toga’s knees as she spoke. “They were so so wrong.”
“My family.” It was a whisper that Camie barely heard but Toga had answered her question.
“The league?” Camie glanced up at Toga; her chin still resting on the girls knees.
Toga shook her head.
Her biological family.
“My dad can change his appearance at will and my mom can manipulate the atoms in her blood, for example increasing the oxygen can make her faster and stronger. I got elements from both of their quirks. Most parents would be proud-”
Camie could feel her anger rising, she grit her teeth together to prevent her from saying anything that would disrupt Toga’s story. It was first time Toga had shared anything personal with her,
“-but mine weren’t. They hated me.”
Toga remained silent for a while as she gathered her thoughts and tried to stop herself from tearing up again.
“I was treated as a monster in my own house. I often used to think what would have happened if my mother had never accidently cut herself that day. She had been cooking and the knife slipped. I had seen somewhere that saliva helped with cuts so I tried to show her how smart I was by putting her finger in my mouth. You should have seen the look I got. It was for a split second and being four, I thought nothing of it but looking back now I can tell she was horrified.”
“I managed to put up with it for the first few years. I was the only child and I thought it was normal. Then they had another child and well, needless to say but he was treated so much better than I was. He was allowed to practice using his quirk, he could have friends, he could stay out after school and he was allowed to have a dog.”
Toga stared off into the sky as she spoke, every so often her voice would hitch so Camie knew she hadn’t managed to keep the tears at bay.
“I eventually got tired of being treated as a villain so I ran away and ironically enough I met the League of Villains. I liked what they were fighting for and I decided to join them.”
“For the fair treatment of all people; right?” Camie finally spoke up, having remembered Toga mentioning their cause.
Toga nodded, “Just think, if I was treated as a normal kid with a normal quirk, things would be very different. I might have even gone to school with you while working to become a hero like...” She cut herself off abruptly. “Nevermind.”
The conversation broke off and an awkward silence settled over them. Camie fumbled for something to say before her eyes landed on the fish.
“Prove them wrong.”
“What?” Toga asked, taken aback.
Camie stood up and picked up the fish, placing it in Toga’s lap. “Prove your parents wrong by taking care of the fish. Show them that you are capable of having a pet and that they don’t have a hold over you anymore.”
Toga seemed hesitant, “What if it dies? I don’t know how to take care of a fish.”
“Don’t worry,” Camie grinned, “It’s not that hard, I’ll help.”
“Didn’t you say that you’ve never had any luck looking after goldfish?”
“Right, I got a bit ahead of myself there.” Camie said sheepishly, before starting her next sentence with confidence, “We’ll look it up online.”
Toga laughed at the girl in front of her, “Okay, let’s do that.”
“Perfect,” Camie turned towards the festival, “Let’s go get a bowl for it.”
“I need to wash my face and set my quirk up again,” Toga admitted, “You go ahead and I’ll catch up.”
“Let’s meet by the food stalls,” Camie suggested and they agreed upon it.
After we get something to eat, it should be time for the fireworks.
With all that had happened, Camie had forgotten about them but now that she remembered, butterflies had started to appear in her stomach. As much as she had prepared for the confession she couldn’t help but be worried that she might screw up her answer or that even after everything was said and done; Toga would still reject her.