The Corner

Hitting send on the email with my attached article to the editorial staff, I sat back, turning to look out the window. I’d spent the rest of the afternoon reading through the packet and forcing myself to write the article about Lena’s company.

Forcing was an understatement. For a solid hour, I stared at the packet sitting on the floor while I paced, stress ate most of the snacks I bought yesterday, and debated handing this off to someone else. After the third bag of peanut m&m’s, I sat down and tore open the packet. It was a full press release but catered to Catco. I read over the background and mission statement of Cridhe Tech. What Lena had been doing for the last five years since she formed the company.

And with every word I read, I felt my heart melting. Her company was a far cry from the world eating ones her brother and mother ran. She wanted to save the world. Her biomedical tech would change millions of lives, the environmental tech would alter the course of the planet’s eventual demise. Every dollar she made, she turned two back into charities and helping communities. She had built hospitals in Metropolis, community colleges in Gotham, and was working on building affordable housing In National City when the new branch of Cridhe Tech settled in.

She was creating thousands of job, saving lives and giving the world a chance where there wasn’t one. Lena was incredible and finally had the ability to showcase the things I already knew about her. The huge heart, the selflessness, and the passion to do her part in saving the world.

It wasn’t hard to write a glowing article about her and her company. It took less than twenty minutes, with spellcheck.

Ten years ago, we fought over her joining the family business. She was being forced into it by her mother, and I didn’t fit into that plan. I didn’t fit the image of a Luthor. I was too good, too simple, and too plain. Never mind she bailed on the plans we had made. Traveling the world for the first year after graduation, then settling wherever felt like home. I’d write for the local paper, maybe work on a novel. She’d spend her days tinkering away on all the projects she dreamt about as a kid, and maybe become a professor of engineering. It was all loose plans, no direction and we both loved it. The only thing that matter was we’d be together, in love and looking forward the future.

I swallowed hard, turning away from the window, staring at the old tea tin on the bookshelf. I knew the ring would still be there, shoved in the bottom wrapped around an old piece of wax paper. The tin was dented, dirty, rusty at the corners. It was the only thing I took with me around the world. I filled it with other odd bits and bobs I picked up along the way and wanted to save. I knew I should’ve left the ring in a box with Eliza. But I was scared. Scared I’d lose it and scared someone would find it and ask a million questions I wasn’t ready to answer.

I tipped my head down, staring at the hole in the old jeans I slipped on. No one knew how deeply I loved Lena. Not even Alex. I was always terrified she’d talk me out of it. She wasn’t the biggest fan of Lena’s, calling her the rich girl when I first brought her up. Alex felt we didn’t fit. We were two different worlds, trying to fit together.

But I saw the other side of Lena. The shy girl who was always nervous in public. The girl who loved cuddles, rainy days, my sweatshirts and getting lost in bookstores for hours. The girl who professed her love for me with a box of doughnuts and nervous tears running down her cheeks.

I sighed, shaking my head. That was a lifetime ago. That Lena was gone, replaced by a cold, driven business woman who stood tall, full of confidence and power. I wouldn’t understand who she was now, and I doubt she could handle the fragile box of broken shards I was now.

Standing up, I stretched, walking towards the tin. I had the sudden urge to take the ring to the local pawn shop and sell it for a few bucks. Today was a sign of letting go, and if I was going to do this, I had to go full bore.

My phone rang when I was three steps away from the tin, Alex’s name stared up at me. “Hey, sis.” I cleared my throat, desperate to shake out the lingering tears.

“I’m about to walk up to your door. Winn told me you went home after your first interview of the day. Still not used to a desk and working laptop?”

I smiled. “I prefer sitting on the floor with a five year old laptop, hunched over, waiting for the next air raid to hit.” I ran a hand through my hair, tugging on the ends as a bad memory threatened to slip out. “What’s up?”

“I have food.” Three knocks fell at my door as she uttered the last syllable.

I skipped to the door in bare feet, grinning as I opened the door. “Please tell me it’s pizza.”

Alex held up the two pizza boxes. “Meat lover’s supreme and Hawaiian surprise.” She grinned, stepping inside the apartment. “I have a few hours to spare and wanted to check up on your first day as Lead Investigative Journalist.”

Kissing her cheek, I hopped to grab plates. “It was overwhelming. Everything is clean, shiny and quiet.” I handed her a plate, sighing as the smells hit my nose. “I have free reign. No deadlines, no reporting to irritating editors for a month. I just sent off my first article for approval.”

Alex raised an eyebrow as she spotted the packet on the floor. “Oh? Is it a hard hitting expose on National City’s rising crime? Or a puff piece on whatever hot fall fashion trend?” She nodded at the packet with her chin. “Cridhe Tech?” She stepped away from the table. “I heard about them moving to National City. Super secretive biotech company, their CEO is a ghost at the table.” She lifted the cover sheet. “Their tech is being scouted by a ton of government agencies, including the FBI.” She paused at the paragraph where Lena was revealed and introduced as the CEO and creator of Cridhe Tech. “Fuck me sideways with a cactus.” She angrily flipped a few pages. “Please don’t tell me you had to see her in person?”

“Alex.” I sighed, shoving a piece of pizza in my mouth.

She looked at me, her eyes full of that all too familiar sisterly rage. “What the fuck? Why didn’t you say something to Cat Grant? Bail on the interview? She doesn’t owe you, and with your resume, you could work anywhere!” Alex flailed her hand around, crinkling the paper.

I shrugged. “It’s no big deal.” I fixed my glasses, staring at a chunk of pineapple.

“Oh it’s a big deal. A big fucking deal. That girl ruined your life! She chased you out of New York and I lost my sister for ten years. She broke your heart, shattered it and scattered like you were dust in the wind.” Alex huffed, grabbing more pages. “The audacity of that rich spoiled brat.”

I kept my head down, trying to keep my heart steady. “I’ve dealt with worse. It was a five minute interview. It wasn’t even a interview, the packet covered everything I needed to ask.”

“Dealt with worse?” Alex shook her head. “Lena Luthor broke you to a level I’d never seen you. I should run a background on her, find out where she’s at in National City and have her pulled over for whatever civil infraction I can shove in her fancy car.”

I snapped. “I don’t know, maybe being blown to shit in a small village in Syria was worse. Or there was the time I was stabbed in the back twice in the congo, or maybe it was the plane crash over the Ukraine and I was one of two survivors. I think any of those is far worse than dealing with my ex from ten years ago! I’ve let go of her and the past!” I paused, not realizing I was yelling at my sister. I breathed out. “I’m sorry. This.” I waved my hand around the clean apartment and quiet. “Is still very new to me.” I bit the inside of my cheek, biting back the urge to scream I was still in love with Lena and seeing her for the first time in ten years, and seeing how beautiful she still was, had my heart on the verge of collapse. I wanted to scream out everything I held back for ten years and cry until I couldn’t feel my face. But I didn’t. I didn’t want to scare my sister. I’d only seen her a handful of times over the last ten years, and even though she was a FBI agent, I wasn’t sure she could stomach what I’d been through. I didn’t even know how I stomached it.

Alex stood still for a moment before nodding, setting the wrinkled papers back on the floor. “Kara.”

I shook my head. “It’s fine. Everything is fine.” I reached for another slice, ready to eat myself into a dreamless grease coma.

Before I could shove the pizza in my mouth, Alex was wrapping me up in her arms. “I love you, so much. I missed you and I’m sorry about losing it. I’ve always blamed her for pushing you to run. I blame her for every sleepless night I had when you were hurt.” She squeezed me harder. “I know how much you loved her.”

I squeezed Alex back, letting the tears slip out. “It doesn’t matter anymore. I came here to move on, find the future I ignored for so long. Who cares if she’s moving here, it’s a big city. Plus, I don’t run in the American Express black card circles. I won’t see her slumming it at the corner deli or the bakeries. Outside of this article, I’ll probably never see her again.” If I could only be so lucky.

Alex chuckled in my arms, kissing the side of my head as she stepped back. “She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. Tony’s three dollar meatball subs are the best.” She grabbed my hand, taking a breath. “I’m here, Kara. If you ever want to talk about the other stuff, I’m here.” She looked at me, worried.

“I will, in time. Not right now.” I patted her hand, moving past her to grab the pizza. “I need to get adjusted to the world again.” I wanted to talk. I wanted to sit and pour out every horrible thing I’d seen, the atrocities, and the pain I’d seen and suffered. But it wasn’t time. I was barely holding it together, more so after running into Lena. Any heavy breeze could knock me to the ground and send me shattering into pieces. “So, tell me all about Kelly, the cute therapist you’re dating.”

xXXxx

Five Days later –

Slipping into a routine was easy, especially when you were doing your best to acclimate to a new life. The routine was necessary to chasing out the lingering edges I carried with me. I’d wake up at six every morning, sit in bed for fifteen minutes listening to the city sounds outside, teaching my mind not to flinch and hide when I heard sirens. I’d then get up, shower with the water as hot as I could stand it, then get dressed. Each day I’d wear something new, something crisp. Then I’d walk to the office, stopping at the coffee shop right outside the building. I’d order a different hot drink each morning, with a cinnamon roll and then go up to my office. I was getting used to the convenience of having hot coffee and hot food on a whim. It felt indulgent, but it helped ease my ever present nerves. I’d begun to tell Alex bits and pieces of what I’d been through, knowing I had to tell someone. But I’d stop when I saw the look on her face, the tears welling up, and I’d switch to a silly story about being chased by monkeys in Thailand. I swallowed down the rest of the bad days, the bloody days, and the weird numb feeling I’d been carrying. The last person I truly bared my soul to was Lena, and well, she wasn’t a phone call away. I had to find someone else to let in the dark corners of my life, the ones I’d buried with happy smiles and an easy going demeanor.  

After getting whatever sugary coffee for the day, I’d head into the office. I’d sit at my giant desk, a giant clean desk, and check emails before diving into more research for the article on National City becoming the new Silicon Valley. I’d smile at passing coworkers and work through the day until lunch. Lunch was always spent with Winn, talking about the old days and listen to the silly office gossip he was desperate to share with me. Today was no different. Winn was finishing up telling me about how he caught an intern downloading pirated movies at work. I smiled, nodding as I picked at my club sandwich.

“Oh, I almost forgot.” He dug in his bag, handing me the latest issue of Catco. “It hits the newsstands tomorrow, but I smuggled a copy.” He tapped the cover as I took it. “Your first cover story!”

I shook my head with a chuckle. “Winn, I’ve had at least a hundred cover stories. Front headlines and all that. I don’t mean to brag.” I blushed as I looked over the cover, swallowing hard. Lena stood tall on it, arms crossed as she wore a dark blue and grey pinstripe power suit. Her hair was down around her shoulders and she had a small smile on her face. She was stunning, gorgeous and took my breath away.

“I know. But this is your first Catco cover.” He reached over, tapping the right edge where my name was. “Cridhe Tech. The light National City needs. By Kara Danvers – Lead Investigative Journalist.” He couldn’t stop grinning and then caught the look in my eyes. “Oh shit. I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten you the print mockup with just the lettering.”

I set the magazine on the table face down. “It’s fine. I knew what I was getting into the moment I started interviewing Lena.” I looked up at Winn, patting his hand. “To look towards the future, sometimes you have to glance at the past.” I pointed at him. “And don’t ask what the interview was like. It was five minutes and she left to go to the next corporate takeover. Very professional.”

“You’ve become very wise over the years, Kara.” He stole a fry, leaning back in his chair. “But if you ever want to get drunk and smash stuff, I know a guy works nights at the old junkyard.” He paused, looking at me. “I know you’ve been through a lot, and I want to understand. I want to be there for you. I kind of screwed up being a good friend after anything, and I’m here for you.”

I laughed, picking up my sandwich. “I might take you up on that offer to smash things.” I glanced at him. “So, tell me about the military lawyer James is dating.” I did my best to divert the conversation away from me. I knew everyone saw how different I was, how closed up I could be at times and how I never, ever discussed the events that led me to a hospital in Berlin or the many scars I carried physically and mentally. I just slapped on a happy smile and moved through as if I was totally fine, when I wasn’t and the added pressure of everyone tip toeing around me and Lena being thrust back into the spotlight, needless to say it was making things difficult.

I spent the rest of lunch listening to Winn ramble, trying my best not to look at the magazine sitting face down next to my elbow.

XXXX

“Ms. Danvers? You had a delivery while you were out on lunch. I set it on your desk.”

“Thank you, Eve.” I smiled as the woman rushed past me, running to another task set upon her by Cat. I walked around the corner and immediately spotted the large bouquet of flowers sitting in the middle of my desk. It was a beautiful mix of wildflowers and white lilies. Tossing my bag in the chair, I ran my hand over the fragrant buds, breathing in their scent with a smile. There was a large card attached to the vase. I pulled it off and tore it open, clueless as to who would send me flowers. Alex knew I preferred cookie bouquets, Winn would never send me flowers again after one awkward moment, and the last suitor I had was over three years ago, and that was nothing more than a three night stand.

Pulling out the thick velvety card, I froze as I read the neat print.

Cridhe Tech would like to cordially invite you to their Welcome to National City Gala.

Underneath the dress requirements and time and date, was a small handwritten note. It was Lena’s handwriting, I could spot that angular quick script if I was blind.

Kara,

I’d be honored if you came. I apologize for the awkwardness at the interview, I was just caught off guard. I’d like to catch up.

Thank you for the beautiful article, you always saw the best in me when others didn’t.

-Lena

I tossed the card to the desk, staring at the flowers. I had the intense desire to throw them in the trash, or throw them off the roof of the building. But I did neither. I picked up the vase and set them on the ledge behind my desk where they would get best light.

I sat in my chair, my hands clasped in my lap, squeezing them to chase out the shakes that wanted to consume them. What the hell was happening? Why was Lena extending a branch where there never was one? Why after ten years, right when I’m ready to let go, is she making an effort? Maybe this was closure begging for me to take it by the hand and lead it to water. Maybe I should talk to her, pour my heart out and lay it all on the table. The hurt I carried for years and then I could walk away.

Or I could ignore her.

I reached for the invite, ready to toss it in the trash when an email blinked across my phone.

I heard you were invited to the Cridhe Tech gala. This is a perfect follow up. The merger between Catco and Cridhe Tech will be announced that night. My stylist will be in touch. Formal dress doesn’t mean slacks and button downs. I need my best journalist to shine that night.

Cat

P.s. Excellent first cover story. Your wrote about Ms. Luthor in a way that almost made her feel attainable, human. A far cry from her family legacy.

I fired off a civil response, stood up, grabbed the flowers and walked out to the front desk. I handed them to receptionist, telling her to enjoy, before I messaged Alex and asked her to meet me at the all you can eat buffet.

I needed to stress eat before I quit my brand new job.

“Whatever game you’re playing, kismet, now would be a perfect time to knock it off before I lose my shit.” I mumbled under my breath as I headed back to my office for my bag and to let Eve know I was stepping out for a lead.

Whatever was going on, I had to figure what the world was trying to tell me before I broke apart and gave in and gave up.

I didn’t survive ten years of hell to fall to my demise over a beautiful woman and my unrequited love for her.